Howl Down the Moon, page 17
“So, basically, you’re taking off with Luka, and you don’t know when I’ll be able to see him again,” Rand growled, unable to keep the bitterness out of his voice.
“Yeah, this was a bad idea,” Slade murmured, standing and heading for the door.
“Slade!”
Nathan’s bellow stopped Slade in his tracks.
“Come here a moment!”
Shaking his head, Slade reversed directions, heading into the living room where Nathan sat on the couch amidst the mess Rand had slowly been working through.
“I know he’s not making it easy,” Nathan told him, annoying Rand to no end because he wasn’t doing a damn thing but sitting there listening to Slade tell him he was about to lose his mates. “But tell him what you came to tell him, if only so his dad and I don’t have to listen to the personal pity party he’ll throw for himself if you don’t.”
Slade looked from Nathan to where Rand sat in the kitchen, gripping his spoon so tightly he’d bent it. “I should have sent Luka over to do this,” Slade said, running his fingers through his hair again. “I told him I was going to screw this up royally.”
“In your defense, Rand is helping you along in that department.”
“No shit.”
Chuckling, Nathan motioned for Rand to join them in the living room, giving him the look Rand knew meant hop to it and keep his mouth shut while he was doing it.
“Look, I wouldn’t be heading back to the borderlands now if I wasn’t needed, but I am, and I know it creates a problem. The thing I came over to figure out was exactly how much of one we’d be dealing with.”
“We?”
“Yeah, we, as in you, me, and Luka, unless you’ve changed your mind about wanting us to figure this out?”
“Don’t see how we are supposed to do anything if you’re taking him clear to the other side of pack grounds.”
“We’ll—we, as in Luka and I—were figuring you might want to come with us, which was why I was trying to figure out how busy you were at the clinic, in case we needed to come up with another option.”
“Considering the best option you could come up with was me chucking my career to the wayside to trail after you two like a lovesick puppy, I’ll pass, thanks.”
“Fine, be that way,” Slade growled. “I’ll tell Luka you weren’t interested.”
“You knew I wouldn’t be interested in the first place. Isn’t that why you’re here instead of letting Luka come talk to me?” Rand asked.
“No. I came so there wouldn’t be any question that it wasn’t just Luka who wanted you to join us,” Slade replied. “And contrary to what you think, no one wanted you to throw your career away. We don’t have a doctor or a clinic in the borderlands, and as you saw when you came out there, it’s quite a trek. We’ve got quite a few elders out there and some folks expecting pups too. Just thought it would benefit everyone to have a doctor staying out there for a while. Figured if you weren’t happy with your hours being reduced the way they’ve been, you might want to think about a clinic of your own.”
“Considering you were the one who put the call in that got me demoted, what do you care?”
Out of the corner of his eyes, Rand saw his father throw his hands in the air, a string of muttered swears spilling from his lips. “For someone who claims to be so smart, you’re behaving like a damn fool right now.”
Whirling, Rand faced his father. “Oh, so I should be thanking him for reporting me?”
“Maybe. At the very least, why don’t you try getting out of your own way for a moment and listen to what the hell he’s saying to you!”
“If I hadn’t reported you for refusing to treat Luka, there would be zero chance of you being able to go with us tomorrow,” Slade said. “Not with all the hours everyone says you used to put in at the clinic. The way I see it, with each of us living the lives we were living, the only way we were going to meet was under an extreme set of circumstances. Luka’s come to care for you, and I’m not far behind. I know it’s short notice, but if you want to pack up an SUV and follow us out tomorrow, we leave at eight. Just think about it, for Luka’s sake. I know he’ll miss you.”
Rand stood there, flabbergasted.
“I gotta go. I’ve got a long list of supplies to pick up for the folks out there. You’ve got the number to the house. Call when you make your decision,” Slade said sharply, turning and striding from the room. The sound of the door shutting a little too hard told Rand he’d actually left, even while he stood there wondering if the man ever did anything with a bit of finesse rather than bulldozing into it. Of course, that thought was followed by a reminder of how tender he was with Luka, and how, that day in the kitchen, when he’d held their mate in his arms, Slade had tears in his eyes when he’d realized he’d put the slightest bruises on him.
“If you don’t decide to go with them, I’m going to haul you down to the clinic and have that new doc check you out to make sure you’re not sick,” his father told him.
Snorting, Rand looked at his father like he’d grown two heads. “Go with a guy who repeatedly said he hates me?”
“When you put it that way,” Rand’s father began, making him feel like he’d finally made his point. “I guess Luka shouldn’t have bothered arranging a string of opportunities to get to know the wolf who told him he was nothing.”
So much for that. “I’ve also apologized and done my level best to make up for it.”
“And yet you slam the door in Slade’s face when he tries to do the same thing.”
“The words ‘I’m sorry’ never came out of his mouth,” Rand pointed out.
“And you might never hear them in that exact format, but if you’d open your damn ears and stop being so damn confrontational, you might have heard him tell you about an underserved group of people who could only benefit from having a doctor nearby while suggesting you might like the chance to have your own clinic. If that isn’t someone feeling some kind of way about their contribution to a particular situation, I don’t know what is.”
Well, when his father put it that way, Rand had to admit, it was a hell of an opportunity, and one no one would be able to swoop in and take away from him. Not only that, but Slade could have easily used the entire situation to his benefit as a way of closing the door on any opportunity Rand might have to be part of their lives.
“Something else you might want to consider before you get packing,” Rand’s father warned, interrupting his thoughts.
“What’s that?”
“Slade strikes me as a proud man who loves hard but keeps his feelings to himself unless he believes he has a reason to show them. You might have to give a little before he shows you anything.”
Sighing, Rand met his father’s gaze. “I could feel myself getting tense the moment I saw him on the doorstep. He must think I’m a complete whack job.”
“Not sure that’s a proper medical term, but it is an accurate description of your behavior. You’ve got to learn to relax around him.”
“How? Do you see how intense he is?”
“I do, which also tells me there’ll be plenty of fun to be had when you figure out how to harness all of that intensity into something enjoyable. You just need to remember that everything that scares you or makes you nervous isn’t necessarily cause for a confrontation. Sometimes, it can be an excuse to try something you never have before.”
“I just wish he’d tone it down some.”
“Maybe he will, when he’s more comfortable around you,” his father pointed out. “Or do you think you’re the only one in this entire situation who might be nervous or uncertain about where they stand?”
“What does he have to be uncertain about? He’s already got Luka.”
“Have you ever once considered that he’s finally coming to realize that Luka isn’t the only one he wants?”
Snorting, Rand shook his head. “Doubtful.”
“Why?”
“Because.”
“Because is not a reason. In some cases, it might act as the prelude to one, but it doesn’t work as a stand-alone.”
“I’m not delusional enough to think he’s going to suddenly decide he doesn’t hate me anymore and is willing to accept me as his mate,” Rand argued. “Not when he’s never once joined Luka and me in doing anything.”
“Are you so sure about that?”
“What do you mean, am I sure? Of course, I’m sure. Big as Slade is, how the hell would I miss him being there?”
Rand’s father rolled his eyes to the heavens before drumming his fingers on the arm of the couch. “Really?”
“Don’t you think Luka would have told me if that was the case?”
“Not if Slade asked him not to.”
“Why the hell would he do that?”
“Any number of reasons that he might tell you, one day, if you stop trying to twist everything he says,” his father pointed out.
“I messed up, again. Seems like that’s all I ever do around them.”
“News flash, kid. It’s still possible to mess up even after decades together. The hope is it’ll happen less frequently. Besides, making up can be fun if you do it right.”
Sighing, looked around at the mess he’d made, one he wouldn’t have time to clean up properly if he was actually going to pack and get a good night's sleep before morning. “But in order for that to happen, I’m going to have to go with them and hope.”
“Oh, you’ll need to do much more than hope. You’ll need to talk to Slade at some point without using Luka as a buffer. He can only bring you so close before you and Slade have to do the rest on your own. Attending those meetings with his dad seems to have defused his temper to some degree. Rather than trying to rile him up at every turn, why not take advantage of it and find some common ground? Weren’t you hoping he’d come around?”
“You know I was.”
“Well, it looks like he has. So, what are you going to do about it?”
“I guess I’ll go pack.”
“Good.”
“It’s a long way until spring. I’ll need to clean out the fridge before I go and call the clinic too.”
“Don’t worry about the refrigerator; your dad and I will take care of that and shutting the house down for you. You go arrange things with the clinic; then call Slade and let him know you’ll be joining them.”
“Okay.”
“Oh, and Rand.”
“Yeah?”
“While you’re packing, you might want to consider the possibility that you and Slade both react to certain situations the way you do because you’re both feeling insecure, and instead of admitting it, you try and cover it up with sarcasm and posturing when you’d get a lot further with honesty and a bit of understanding.”
Snorting, Rand had to wonder what had given him that impression. “He’s got nothing to be insecure about.”
“For the record, neither do you.”
“Of course you’d think that. You’re my father. Isn’t that a prerequisite or something?”
“Nope. If I thought you did, I’d tell you. I think you’re about to get quite an education. I look forward to hearing about it and seeing the three of you in a healthier, happier place come spring.”
Chapter Seventeen
THE TRIP BACK to Slade’s cabin turned out to require three SUVs, with all the supplies the folks in the borderlands needed, in addition to the clothes Slade had bought Luka and the tools and the rest of the woodworking supplies they’d retrieved from his house. Winter hadn’t been kind to it, between the high winds and the already damaged and listing timbers. With the way the hallway and wall had collapsed, getting into his old bedroom had been difficult, but he’d been determined to retrieve Lily’s drawings. Slade had been none too pleased about the gashes and cuts he’d received from the jagged ends of broken wood and had tsked and fussed the whole time he was treating them. Still, he’d understood Luka’s desire to bring those memories with him and promised that they’d frame them and hang them on whatever wall Luka wanted when they got to the cabin.
He could hardly believe the three of them were going together. When Slade had come back from Rand’s and said he didn’t know if the other wolf would be joining them, Luka had gotten on the phone, prepared to plead, only to have Rand tell him he was coming. Now there were two SUVs in the garage and a whole lot of stuff that needed to be organized and put away.
Rand’s dads had gone with Slade’s to deliver supplies to the rest of the borderland residents, leaving the three of them to figure out how to rearrange the house. The dads had conspired to make sure Luka, Slade, and Rand spent the long ride in their wolf forms, curled up on the large back seat of Rand’s SUV while Nathan drove. Slade’s father had driven Slade’s while Rand’s dad had brought theirs filled with the extra supplies Slade had picked up. Somewhere along the way, Slade had rested his head over Rand’s back and fallen asleep, while Luka had fallen asleep in the V made by their bodies, his head on Slade’s shoulder, Rand’s pressed against Luka’s side. They’d woken to the soft clicking of a camera phone and Rand’s father’s grinning face as he’d taken pictures of them.
“This is a fantastic kitchen,” Rand enthused as they gave him the tour.
“To be honest, I’ve always felt like it was too much, considering I only had myself to cook for. That table has gotten more use since Luka’s been here than it ever did when it was just me. I’d just take my food out to the living room and sit by the bay window or in front of the TV.”
“That’s better than I managed most days,” Rand admitted. “Between skipping meals or eating them at my desk, my kitchen didn’t get much of a workout, outside of the coffee pot. I’ve got a notebook full of recipes I’ve been dying to try, though, if no one minds me taking over the kitchen from time to time.”
“Have at it,” Slade said. “Luka and I have been alternating cooking, or cooking together, depending on what else we had going on at the time. You’re welcome to jump in however you want. There’s enough space in here that we wouldn’t be bumping into one another; that’s for sure.”
“I see that,” Rand remarked. “It looks like you had the place built for a family.”
“Because I did.”
“Wait until you see the bedroom,” Luka said, grasping Rand’s hand and tugging him down the hall. “It’s got three dressers, a huge closet, and three sinks in the master bath.”
Rand put on the brakes in the doorway, much to Luka’s surprise. Turning, he saw the hesitant look on Rand’s face and gave his hand a gentle tug. “Don’t you want to see all of it?”
“Shouldn’t we discuss the sleeping arrangements first before I invade your space?”
Glancing from Rand to where Slade stood behind him, Luka got the distinct impression that he was missing something.
“You’re right,” Slade said. “We should, so let’s talk. Where would you be comfortable sleeping?”
“Shouldn’t the question be where would you feel comfortable with me sleeping?” Rand shot back.
“I wanna sleep in the middle,” Luka piped up, hoping that would settle things and give him the chance to finally get cuddles from both of his mates at the same time.
“That’s not the issue, Luka,” Rand said, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.
And here he’d thought they’d left their issues back in town and could finally get with the hugs and the snuggling.
“Not yet, anyway,” Slade added.
“I don’t understand,” Luka said, looking from them to the double king that took up the center of the room. “The whole bed is comfortable.”
Slade chuckled, and Rand finally stepped out of the doorway before hugging Luka and kissing the top of his head.
“We’re trying to work out if Rand wants to join us in here, or if he’d prefer the guest bedroom,” Slade said.
Luka pressed his face against Rand’s chest, hoping to hide the fact that his cheeks were heating up, and he was a bit embarrassed about getting lost in yet another conversation. It just hadn’t dawned on him that they wouldn’t be sleeping together. “Oh.”
Slade’s hand slid up his back, thumb stroking over the back of his neck. “It’s all good; pretty sure you just stopped Rand and me from descending into another round of questions with no answers, which wouldn’t have helped anyone.”
“I’ve got no problem joining you in here if you’re both good with it.” Rand said. “But I wouldn’t want to make things awkward for either of you, and I can’t promise to keep my hands to myself in my sleep.”
“I’m good,” Slade said. “Your hands aren’t going to bother me any. I’d rather we start out as we intend to end up. It cuts down on the unnecessary moving. Besides, you make a good pillow; wouldn’t mind napping on you again.”
Chuckling, Rand reached over, tugging Slade until they had Luka sandwiched between them. “Going to be awfully hard to do without squishing Luka.”
“Maybe Luka will like getting squished,” Slade replied.
“Not maybe,” Luka said, going up on tiptoes so he could nuzzle Rand’s neck. “Luka likes getting squished.”
“Well,” Rand stammered, letting out a long sigh when Slade leaned over Luka to nip and nuzzle the other side of Rand’s neck. “Guess that, uh, settles that.”
“Yeah, it does,” Slade murmured.
Luka sighed contently, breathing in their mingled scents and the feeling of peace that washed over him as they held one another.
“We should get everything put away,” Rand suggested, Luka’s wolf picking up on a note of reluctance in Rand’s voice. “Slade has an early morning tomorrow, so we should probably think about going to bed early tonight.”
“Wanna help me make sausage and pancakes in the morning?” Luka asked, hoping to send Slade off with a full belly.
“I’d be happy to,” Rand replied.
“You two do not have to get up with me,” Slade said firmly. “I’m perfectly capable of grabbing something before I head out.”
Touching the side of Luka’s face, Rand urged him to meet his gaze. “Did you hear something?” Rand asked.
It took Luka a moment to realize he wasn’t being literal. Smiling, he shook his head. “Nope, sure didn’t.”
