Howl Down the Moon, page 14
“I don’t need some group to tell me how I should feel!” Slade snapped, though not nearly as venomous as before.
“If you’d come to one, you’d see that’s not what it’s all about,” Slade’s dad replied, keeping his voice as cool and even as Luka had. Both clearly understood that responding to him with any sort of frustration or annoyance would just rev up his anger again. But Slade’s wolf was getting tired of trying to deal with the constant cycle of emotions.
“You need something more than what you’ve been doing,” Slade’s father said. “It clearly isn’t working for you. You’ve got a wolf in your arms who deeply cares for you, and one across the room who could if you can allow him to.”
“Your anger is big and fierce and scary,” Luka said softly, still cuddled with him. “Today, I don’t think you realized how hard you were pulling when we were leaving the chamber or how tightly you were squeezing my hand.”
Gasping, Slade drew back from Luka so he could look him in the eyes. “Did I hurt you?”
Luka nodded his head, and Rand heard Slade’s wolf let out a miserable whine while his own wolf growled. A tap to his arm drew his attention to his father, who gave the smallest shake of his head before speaking in his mind.
Maintain your calm, so you can help Luka guide Slade back to his. There’s a lot going on right now, far more than can be revealed in a single day. Luka is showing incredible strength today. You can do no less.
Yes, sir, Rand thought back, knowing his father was right.
Slade was busy inspecting Luka’s hand and wrist for marks, but there were none to be found.
“You’ve already helped strengthen my wolf enough that little things like bruises heal instantly,” Luka assured him.
“I’m sorry,” Slade said, hugging him close once more. “I never wanted to do that.”
“I know. It was an accident, but can we fix it so there aren’t any more of them?”
Slade nodded, every fiber of his being radiating contrition. Rand could feel how exhausted Luka was growing too. They needed rest and food. Luka was looking a little pale, no doubt from all the energy he’d expended shifting and running. Knowing this could be a colossal mistake but doing it anyway, Rand went to the fridge and retrieved two of the wrapped sandwiches Slade’s mothers had put there. Unwrapping them, he approached Luka and Slade, hesitant at first, but when Slade’s dad gave him a nod, he knew it would be okay.
He set them on the table and backed away, despite his own wolf’s desire to hug them. The instant the plates touched the table, Slade glared over at him, lips curling in a soundless snarl. Then he noticed the sandwiches and looked from Rand to Luka, seeing the same thing Rand had.
Nodding, Slade said something Rand hadn’t expected. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Rand replied, returning to his seat.
“You need to eat something,” Slade encouraged Luka, moving one of the plates closer to his hand so Luka could get it.
Watching, Rand noted the fact that Slade didn’t touch his until Luka was eating. By the time he finished his sandwich, Luka was blinking sleepily, and Slade wasn’t looking much better.
“Why don’t you take Luka to the guest room and take a nap?” Slade’s dad said. “With the way that wind is howling out there and that snow is starting to come down, you won’t be making the trip back to the cabin tonight.”
“Yeah,” Slade said softly. He had to wait for Luka to slide off his lap before he could get up, and when he did, a few things caught Rand’s eye, the first being the changes in their bond marks. Darker and half wrapped around their wrists, theirs reflected the time they’d spent together and their growing relationship. No surprise there. The surprise was the bond marks he shared with each of them. His with Luka had several unbroken lines now, and while the colors were still light, there was promise of the shades they could become. The few scattered lines on his other wrist—the ones he shared with Slade—had grown in number. They still crisscrossed and arched outward, a jangled, disjointed look, more a mess than a pattern, but the change was proof that something had shifted over the course of the day.
Slade slid an arm around Luka and began leading him down the hall, the pair only making it a few steps before Slade paused and turned back around.
“Dad?” Slade called out, drawing his father’s attention.
“Yes?”
“When is the next meeting?”
“The day after tomorrow.”
Slade nodded and seemed to be thinking. “Would it be okay if we stayed until after the meeting?”
“You know you don’t ever have to ask to spend the night here,” Slade’s dad remarked. “We’re glad to have you both. It will give us an opportunity to get to know Luka.”
“Thanks, Dad,” Slade replied before disappearing with Luka down the hall.
Groaning, Slade’s dad tipped his head back and slumped down in the chair, scrubbing his hands over his face and through his long hair.
“I apologize for my son’s behavior today,” Slade’s dad said. “Seeing him as infrequently as we have these past eight years, I didn’t realize how irrational and out of control he’d grown, or I’d have pushed him to deal with this a long time ago.”
Nathan shook his head and sipped the last of what now had to be ice-cold coffee. “You don’t owe us an apology, and neither does he. Clearly, each of these boys is coming into this with unresolved issues, and maybe that’s why the fates pulled them together. I could feel the energy their wolves raised together, despite the undertones of hostility running between Slade and Rand. Who knows what they can accomplish if they can move past that.”
“I felt it,” Slade’s dad confirmed.
“We felt it all the way in here,” Leo called out.
“I believe Luka got the ball running beautifully,” Nathan remarked.
Chuckling, Rand’s dad raised an eyebrow at him. “Like you had any doubt.”
“I had some. Wanting to do something and actually doing it are two vastly different things. Add fear into the mix, and I wasn’t completely sure he’d confront Slade, especially with how long he took getting dressed. Was wondering if he was going to go out the window.”
“He was consulting me about the best way to pose the issues to Slade without him getting defensive,” Doc Washington said. “Once he had enough to get started, he came out and, I must say, did very well by keeping the ball rolling with very little aid from me.”
Sitting there, surrounded by so many people who cared and had come together to give them the opportunity Rand had thrown away, Rand vowed to prove to every one of them that he deserved it, and to Luka and Slade that he could love them every bit as deeply as they were coming to love each other.
Chapter Fourteen
“ARE YOU SURE you’re okay with this?” Luka asked Slade, his head resting on Slade’s chest, right over his heart. The steady beat and the connection the position offered gave them a source of contentment and strengthened their bond. “I don’t want to push.”
“You’re not,” Slade assured him, gently stroking Luka’s hair. Of all the ways he and Slade had curled up together, this was his favorite. “I did say I would need to get used to Rand being around us. Maybe getting used to his scent first would help me be less hostile. I don’t know. I’m trying.”
“I know. That’s why I don’t want to push you to move faster than you’re ready to,” Luka said. “Right now, it’s more than enough that you’re going with your dad to this meeting tonight.”
“You said the plan was for you and Rand to hang out and watch movies in the living room while his dads and my moms get to know each other, right?”
“That’s exactly the plan.”
“Then I’m good with it,” Slade said. “Maybe that’s immature of me, seeing as how it’s no different than a supervised play date, but I am comfortable with it if you are.”
“It’s whatever you need it to be,” Luka told him. “If baby steps are what will get us to a place where the three of us can be comfortable around one another and not be hostile, then how long it takes or what it looks like to an outsider doesn’t matter. You matter. Your feelings, your frame of mind. If you come home tonight, and his scent being here, or being on me, is something you can’t handle, I need you to promise you’ll tell me.”
“I don’t see where telling you will do anything more than make you feel bad about wanting to know him better.”
“Wrong. You telling me means we’ll put off trying again until you tell us you’re ready.”
“You say it like Rand is just going to agree to wait until I get my shit together.”
“He already has.”
Beneath him, Slade inhaled sharply, hand falling still in his hair. “When?”
“When we arranged for him to come over tonight,” Luka explained. “We were both concerned that you were trying to do something for me you weren’t ready to handle. So can you please promise you’ll tell me if his visit bothers you?”
“You’re amazing, you know that?”
Amazing wasn’t a word he’d use to describe himself, but it felt wonderful to hear Slade say it. Wiggling beneath his hand, he finally got Slade back to petting his hair. “Do you promise?”
“Yeah. I do, not that I’d be able to deny it if I started snarling the instant I went to hug you and caught a whiff of him on your skin.”
“True, though knowing you, you’d try to brush it off by saying something sarcastically witty, only to have your dad call you out on it.”
“It’d be nice if he’d stop doing it.”
“Maybe he will when you stop making it so easy.”
“Ha-ha.”
Slade’s fingers glided down his back, toying with the hem and the exposed strip of skin beneath it. Luka half expected Slade to ask what else he and Rand had talked about, but he seemed to have found something to occupy his attention, drawing patterns with his fingertips, some so light Luka shivered. Sighing contently, Luka slipped his fingers between Slade’s T-shirt so he could touch skin too. Luka ran his hand over the ridges of Slade’s abs—warm, ripped. Luka felt the proud rumble of Slade’s wolf as he preened.
Yesterday, they’d spent the whole day wrapped around each other in fur and skin, trying to recover from the emotional upheaval of the day before. The move had gone a long way in getting Slade to relax.
“How long before you have to go?” Luka murmured.
He felt Slade shift a little, groan, and stop touching Luka. “Now.”
Whining, Luka huffed, his wolf sprawling with paws over its eyes, not that Slade’s was any happier.
“When I come back, we’ll pick up right here,” Slade growled, pulling Luka up until their lips touched in a slow, lazy kiss packed with promises of things to come, one of Slade’s hands coming to rest on Luka’s bottom. The glide of their bodies as they rubbed together, the caresses, nipping, soft touches and rough grinding they constantly engaged in, always left Luka hot and wanting more, curious to know what more there was. Slade always made him feel amazing, but his wolf sensed there was more and grew squirmy and restless, trying to motivate Slade to give it to him.
Slade had just worked into a lazy rhythm of rocking Luka against him in time to their kisses when a heavy knock interrupted them.
“Crawl out from under Luka, and let’s go!” Slade’s dad shouted, making Slade laugh while Luka felt his cheeks grow hot.
“Fine, just know it’s under protest!” Slade called back, stealing one more kiss before gently rolling them over. Gazing up at him, Luka was already looking forward to seeing how many more kisses the evening might bring. Slade smirked like he knew exactly what Luka was thinking. Then he hurried out the door to catch up with his dad.
Snuggling into the blankets, Luka took a moment to try to calm down. Slade’s touches were like little electric sparks dancing over his skin, and the feeling only grew stronger each time. Closing his eyes, he indulged in a bit of a fantasy, picturing himself snuggled between Slade and Rand, enjoying both of their kisses, one of their hands on the hard, aching flesh between his legs, stroking it the way Luka was now, chasing the waves of pleasure he knew such attention would bring.
Whining, he was just starting to get worked up when he realized the door was still open and footsteps were approaching. Jerking his hand out of his pants, he squirmed, panting, hot and achy and scared to be caught that way. He yanked the blankets all the way up over his head, biting his wrist to muffle his breathing.
“Luka, honey, Rand is here.”
Peeking out, Luka saw Slade’s mother standing in the doorway, smiling, her long black hair loose and tumbling over her shoulders.
“Okay.”
He’d expected her to leave, but when she remained there, he was left no choice but to peel the blanket back and hope his face wasn’t as red as he thought it was. She was still watching as he rolled off the tall bed and tugged his clothes back into place, a knowing look on her face.
“You’re good for him.” Her voice was soft, flowing like music the way his mom’s used to. For a second, he was hit with a pang of longing, wishing he could talk to her just one more time.
“He’s good for me too.”
“That’s how it’s supposed to be,” she replied. “Thank you for making my son smile again.”
Smiling, he followed her back to the kitchen, where Rand stood between his dads.
“Afternoon, Luka,” Nathan greeted.
“Hey,” Rand said softly. Luka’s wolf could sense the nervousness in Rand’s wolf the same way Luka could hear the tremble in Rand’s voice.
Stepping close, Luka reached out and gently brushed the snow from Rand’s hair. “I guess it’s snowing out there.”
“It’s eased up some, but it still hasn’t stopped completely.”
He was shivering, nearly imperceptible, but there.
Nervous or cold? Luka thought to him.
Little of both.
Wanna watch the first movie in fur?
Please.
Nodding, Luka led him to the living room and passed him the remote Slade was still teaching him how to use.
“What kind of stuff do you like to watch?” Luka asked.
Rand gave a bit of a shrug, scrunching his nose a little. “I’ve never spent enough time watching TV to have a preference. Why don’t you pick something you like? I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
Giggling, Luka shook his head. “We’ll figure something out.”
“Shit, that was stupid of me. I’m sorry. I forgot you wouldn’t have watched much of it either, living in your old place and all.”
Ducking his head, Luka ran his fingertips over the weave of the carpet. “Yeah.”
Rand placed a hand on his arm, gentle and hesitant, and got Luka to look back up at him. “I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad. I swear. I just forgot.”
“It’s okay. Living with Slade, sometimes I forget what it was like, surviving out in the woods with little more than a roof and working kitchen,” Luka admitted. “Then I feel bad about forgetting.”
“You’re allowed, you know, to forget and have your own life and not have to feel bad about it,” Rand murmured. “Maybe one day, you’ll let us help with that.”
Luka shrugged and shifted, sprawling overtop of the clothes he’d slipped out of during the shift and leaving Rand to find something for them to watch. The concern in his voice and eyes had made Luka feel soft and vulnerable, something he wasn’t ready to feel around Rand. At least Rand got the hint and turned on the television, scrolling until he found something called Sand Sharks.
“I’m pretty sure that’s a scientific impossibility, but I’m curious,” Rand said.
Okay, Luka said, stretching out on his belly. Rand shifted and stretched out too, the story slowly beginning to unfold on the screen. The first time one of the characters screamed, Luka flinched and closed his eyes. Seconds later, the television went silent. Cracking his eyes open, Luka saw Rand with his paw on the remote control, having turned it off.
How about we find something less noisy? Rand suggested, having wriggled up next to him so their sides were touching.
Yes, please, Luka agreed.
Rand nuzzled him before turning the television back on, this time selecting a comedy called The Goonies. Instead of moving away, Rand stayed close, and as the movie grew funnier, they wriggled and laughed, tongues lolling out. Their squirming and paw waving meant a lot of rubbing against each other, scents mingling.
Luka was grateful Rand didn’t ask why he’d flinched. Instead, he let him enjoy the new movie. Curled together in front of the television, it was easy to just enjoy the story unfolding. Luka felt Rand relaxing and nuzzled his neck, gently licking his ear and the fur along the side of his head.
Thank you for giving me a chance and letting me come over today. Are you and Slade going back out to his cabin tomorrow?
I don’t think so. They’re calling for more snow tomorrow. I think we’ll be here for a few more days. I don’t mind though. Slade’s family is really nice. His moms have been teaching me to play poker, and I’ve already won a couple baggies of gummy bears.
Gummy bears, huh? Regular or sour ones?
They make sour ones?
Oh yeah. Apple, lemon, grape, strawberry, watermelon, blue-raspberry, lime, and some tropical ones too. If you’d like to try some, I can bring a bag the next time I come, or I can send some over if you guys need me to wait a while before coming back.
I’d like that. I like sour things. My mom used to make these super-sour pickles and put a couple in the freezer, so when it got hot, they were almost as good as ice pops. Sometimes she’d even make shaved ice and flavor it with pickle and lime juice. Talk about sour.
Do you like sour cherries too?
Uh-huh. But I like grapefruits and limes the best. I had grapefruit soda once before Lily was born. We went to a gathering, and on the way, there was a human store that had a bunch of different flavors I’d never tried before. My dad let me get blueberry, grapefruit, and pomegranate sodas, but I couldn’t drink them all in the same day ’cause I could get hyper sometimes. I liked them all, but I liked the grapefruit one the best.
