Traitor, page 6
“Certainly not. In fact, I prefer solitude.” Better to discourage his impertinence from the start.
He scratched his chin. “That’s not what I’ve heard.”
I inhaled an indignant gasp. “Please bear in mind whom you are addressing, sir. Your princess has no wish to be accosted with idle gossip.”
“Everybody knows your story, princess.” He spit the title with such venom, it sounded like a curse. “Isn’t just gossip.”
“I shall retire to my cabin.” I reluctantly released the rail, hoping he couldn’t see the way my hands shook. “One more word from you, and I’ll make sure you’re reported to my father.”
He grasped my arm. “I’m afraid your father’s gettin’ farther away every moment. Besides, I thought you liked men with a rebellious side.”
Had I truly stooped low enough to be an object of ridicule across the entire continent of Sandrin? Among common sailors? I tried to pull away, stumbling on unsteady legs.
“You’ll be hanged for treason if—”
“What’s going on here?” In that moment, the gruff baritone was the most beautiful sound imaginable.
The sailor sneered at the newcomer. “Just makin’ the princess here feel welcome.”
“Princess Penelope?” The lean gray-haired man peered into my face, then hastily bowed. His expression sharpened as he turned to the sailor. “Your attentions were clearly far from welcome. Depart at once before I alert your captain.”
The sailor stormed off, grumbling under his breath.
“Are you all right, Your Highness?”
I raised my head, which had drooped to my chest upon the sailor’s departure. “Yes, I . . . I’m fine now. Thank you.”
My rescuer clicked his tongue. “Incredible what they think they can get away with on the open water. Such insolence.”
“I’m afraid those weren’t the first insults thrown my way of late.” My jaw clenched shut. I’d meant to keep the thought to myself.
His fingers curled into a fist. “They shall be the last if I have anything to do with it, at least on this voyage.”
I’d almost forgotten what it felt like to have someone outside my family take my side. “You are very kind, Mr. . . .”
“My apologies, my lady. Sir Colin Headrick, at your service.” He swept into a dramatic bow.
I bobbed a curtsy. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. Despite the circumstances.”
“The pleasure is all mine, princess.” His gaze held respect, none of the flirtation or flattery that would’ve accompanied such a statement from Nicholas. “I’d heard a member of the royal family would be taking part in our voyage, though I didn’t put much stock in it until now. But have you no guards? Surely you must have some kind of protection against ruffians like the man who just accosted you?”
Hopefully, the dark masked the heat rising to my cheeks. “I slipped past him. I merely wanted some fresh air and a quiet place to settle my thoughts—it hadn’t occurred to me there’d be any danger in such a short venture.”
“For a young lady, I’m afraid danger can be anywhere.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, overtaken by a sudden chill. “So it would seem.”
“Please, allow me to escort you to your cabin. I won’t be able to rest until I’m certain you’re safe for the night.”
My heart warmed to this fatherly man, whose gallantry stood out all the more in comparison to the rough sailor. “Thank you, I would appreciate that.” My steps faltered. “Although, my guard will likely be cross with me . . .”
His chuckle reminded me so much of Papa. “You’d prefer I distract your guard so you may re-enter your cabin in peace?”
The surge of giddiness made me feel like a delinquent pupil. “Would you?”
“It is my honor to save you from any threat, Your Highness. Both hostile and well-meaning.”
My shoulders sagged in relief. “I owe you a great debt, Sir Colin.”
“Think nothing of it.”
Raising my face to the sun, I closed my eyes and let myself forget for a moment that I was in the middle of nowhere, heading toward an uncertain future. With Sir Colin’s help, I’d managed to sneak into my cabin the night before, unnoticed by Edmund.
A smile ghosted across my lips. What a comfort, to know someone other than my paid guards still thought me deserving of chivalry. Worthy of protection.
Footsteps slapped the damp boards on deck. I opened my eyes and continued walking. I’d scrutinized every sailor I’d passed on my morning stroll but fortunately had yet to encounter the scoundrel who’d threatened me.
“May I accompany you?” Sir Colin’s voice was every bit as open and gallant as at our first meeting.
I turned, offering a bright smile. “Good morning, Sir Colin. How good to see you again.”
He bowed, eyes crinkling with good humor. “Ah, you do remember. I’d half wondered if you were sleepwalking last night or merely an apparition.”
“Unfortunately, the events of last evening were very real.” A shadow dampened my high spirits. “I recall every detail.”
He nodded. “I’m grateful I arrived before any further damage was done.”
“As am I.” I lightly placed a hand on his offered arm. “Come to think of it, what were you doing out so late? That is, if you don’t mind sharing.”
“I don’t mind at all.” He strolled on, apparently unperturbed by the direct question. “I too was having trouble sleeping. The curse of old age, you know—utter weariness combined with a complete inability to repose comfortably. And there’s something about the stars, especially at sea.” He raised his free hand, indicating the sky. “Their vastness, their sheer numbers. It makes our own existences, our own problems, so much less consequential somehow.”
“I know what you mean.”
We continued on in silence. Large white clouds drifted above, their pace nearly as leisurely as ours. My lungs expanded, some of the freest breaths I’d taken since leaving Glonsel Palace.
“I confess, I’m surprised to see you traveling alone, princess.” Sir Colin tilted his head.
I blinked, dragging my mind from its tranquil haze. “Not entirely alone. My lady’s maid accompanied me, and of course my guards.” We shared a conspiratorial grin.
“But no family?”
The wound in my heart reopened, as though a bandage had been torn off. No family, indeed. “It would be a long, tedious journey for my sisters, only for them to turn around and return home. And my father has much to occupy him at present and would not wish to separate from young Dominick.”
He gave a curt nod. “Of course. Perhaps it is best—think what a target the ship would be with the entire royal family aboard.”
Yes, at least they were safe. A gull called above us before swooping toward the water.
“Have you ever been to Delunia?”
He raised his brows. “Oh yes, Delunia is as much home to me as Trellich.”
“Truly?” My heart lifted a notch. “You enjoy it there, then?”
“You might say it’s grown on me. I’ve studied their language and culture for over half my life. The Delunian people are hardy; they have a certain pride about them. Distinctions of rank don’t seem to hold such importance. The royal family keeps their distance”—he gave me a sideways glance—“but others aren’t so concerned. Something about the heat and humidity, I think. When you all sweat together, it creates a certain bond.”
I giggled but squirmed beneath my dress’s thick layers of fabric. Could I adjust to such a climate?
“But you’ve been there yourself, have you not?” he inquired.
“Not since my childhood. My memories are few, and very hazy.”
“I see.” He inclined his head to a gentleman dressed in a loose-fitting tunic and trousers walking the deck in the opposite direction. “An interesting choice for a marriage alliance, if I may say so. Such a distance from home.”
I squinted into the brilliant sunlight. “I believe the distance was a primary advantage, in my father’s opinion.”
“Ah.” He gave my hand a quick pat. “Do remember, princess, that you’re hardly the first noblewoman to fall in love with someone other than the partner selected by her parents.”
I’d known him but minutes, and already Sir Colin’s understanding and lack of judgment soothed my injuries like a balm. “True, though not all such loves are so intent upon murder and treason.”
His hearty chuckle made my step falter. “I’ll not argue on that point, but there is something to be admired about a man with ambition.”
Nicolas’s sly grin—so out of place in his sunken, filthy cheeks—entered my mind’s eye. Nothing was admirable about that man in the least. I barely contained a shudder.
“Your husband-to-be seems a decent sort. A bit of the arrogance of his parents, perhaps.” One side of his mouth quirked up. “But there’s nothing like being in the presence of a beautiful young woman to give a man some humility.”
I winced. Arrogance was an unwelcome trait, but one I’d certainly dealt with before.
The shield I was building against my fiancé grew another layer thicker.
Chapter 7
I eyed the gray clouds obscuring the sun like the thickest of draperies. Please, Luminate, don’t let it rain again. My throat tightened. For everyone else’s sake, if not mine.
We’d been stuck in our cabin for the past two days with rain pummeling our tiny window like a thief determined to lay hold of his quarry. Conversation, books, and endless games of spades soon grew tedious in such a confined space. By the prior afternoon, even cheerful Victoria had been set on edge.
I planted myself on a bench, daring the sky to force me indoors. After today, this dreadful journey would be half over.
“A welcome reprieve from the rain, is it not?”
I started at the gentle voice. “Sister Rochelle.”
In my disquiet following my visit with Nicholas, I’d almost forgotten she too would be aboard the Ismena. If she’d truly been tasked with spying on me, thus far she’d done an admirably discreet job.
“I hope you’ve been enjoying our voyage, princess, despite the inclement weather.”
I readjusted my skirt to make space for her, since she seemed determined to sit with me whether I wished it or not. “I confess I’ll be grateful to return to dry land.”
“Yes.” She lowered onto the bench. “But the Luminate has something for us even in the most tumultuous parts of our wanderings, if we but pay attention.”
I forced my sigh to release in small, silent increments. Clearly, she and Sister Eleanor spent a great deal of time together.
We sat in silence, observing the frothing ripples spreading in every direction. How easily a ship could stay adrift in this void forever, never settling on a destination. I folded my hands beneath my elbows. At least sailors had compasses and maps to set their course.
Sister Rochelle sat up straighter. “May I tell you a story, princess?”
I opened my mouth, then closed it again. It wasn’t as though I had any prior commitments, and even a morality tale from Sister Rochelle was preferable to another minute spent in my cabin. I pasted on a smile. “Of course.”
She kept her gaze fixed on the rolling waves—smooth, yet ever-changing. “When I was a girl—a bit older than you, I suppose—our manor prospered. We were considered one of the most influential families in our little corner of the world, and I often hosted friends or traveled to neighboring estates.”
Trying not to draw her attention, I studied her more closely from the corner of my eye. This quiet woman with graying hair in a drab black frock was once a lady of means?
“I met a gentleman named Mr. Callimer at one such party. He was handsome and charming, and his family owned a fine property on the outskirts of town. Soon we were taking long walks and carriage rides together, and he’d whisk me around the dance floor for hours every time we attended a ball.”
She adjusted her skirt. “I fell deeply in love, and I believed his devotion to me was just as strong. I couldn’t accept quickly enough when he proposed, and our parents were thrilled with the match.”
Sister Rochelle in love? Engaged? How drastically her life had changed. “What happened?”
She leaned forward, her lowered head muffling her voice. “On occasion, I’d notice his gaze straying to another attractive woman, but I trusted him so implicitly. Well, it came out that a young maidservant in his household was with child, and when she named him as the father . . . he didn’t deny it.”
“Oh. I’m so sorry.” I gave her arm an awkward pat. “How dreadful.”
“It was, for a season.” She shifted to face me. “But during that time, I began to pray as I’d never prayed before, asking the Luminate for healing, for guidance. Not to feel so lonely and isolated. To take away my crippling shame.”
I stared at the rail. If only I could disappear belowdecks or even lose myself in those churning waves. One glance into my eyes would certainly reveal she’d hit upon my every point of turmoil since Nicholas’s arrest.
“One day, when my fervent prayers almost consumed my entire being, He responded to me. A voice of grace and hope, a presence I could trust with no fear of being abandoned or disappointed.”
She breathed out a soft laugh. “No man could compare with that. I shocked my parents, not to mention every friend and acquaintance, by selling off all my dresses and jewelry to fund my education at a convent. My parents passed away during Damien Lessox’s brief rise to power, and when the Imperian king and queen issued their edict against the practice of magic, I turned my childhood home into a haven for displaced mystics.”
I fiddled with my sleeve. No doubt she thought I might be inspired, hearing how the Luminate used her pain to promote a good cause. But she’d come out of her romance with a clean conscience, something I could never hope for.
“Princess?”
Swallowing, I dared to meet her eye.
“I know you must be in a lot of pain, and I won’t trivialize it by claiming it will disappear anytime soon. These misfortunes—heartbreaks—require a great deal of time and space for healing. Not everyone will place their lives as fully in the Luminate as I have, and there’s nothing wrong with finding another to spend your life with. But every person makes mistakes and will let you down in some way. The Luminate will never stumble, will never fail you. Let Him help you rebuild.”
Her words were so enticing, but before they could sweep me away, my common sense reared in protest. “Thank you for sharing your story and for wanting to help, Sister Rochelle, but I doubt the Luminate has much interest in spending His efforts healing someone who caused her own downfall.”
She shook her head, but I rose, stumbling to get my footing on the shifting deck.
“I must return to my cabin. Enjoy your afternoon.”
Turning away, I made for the stairs as quickly as I could, dodging everyone I encountered.
I couldn’t let the tears fall until I was alone.
“I suspect the coast of Delunia will be in sight by nightfall.”
“Truly?” I beamed at Sir Colin as he joined me at the ship’s rail. We’d taken at least one daily stroll together whenever the weather allowed.
“You’ll be back on solid ground soon, princess.”
I faced him. “Is my distaste for the sea so obvious?”
A mischievous grin accompanied his wink. “I suspect the hue of your face isn’t typically tinged with quite so much green.”
My laugh drew the gaze of a nearby sailor. Still not the one whose face haunted my nightmares. I suspected Sir Colin had spoken with the captain after all, for the ill-mannered sailor had yet to make a second appearance.
I lowered my voice. “I can only hope the change isn’t permanent.”
“It may feel that way for the first few days on land, but the sensation will pass quickly.”
“I’m glad to hear it.” The breeze blew a curl across my face. “Where will you stay once we reach Delunia?”
“I have a residence in Ambrus, the royal city. My servant keeps things in order when I’m away. It’s not a large home, but you’re welcome to visit if you ever find yourself feeling homesick.”
“Thank you.” I’d have one ally nearby, at least. One connection to Trellich. Except . . . “Sir Colin?”
“Yes?” His grizzled brows rose almost to his hairline.
“I don’t know how often news travels from Trellich to Delunia. Perhaps more than I realize, but I confess my hope was . . .” I swallowed past the pride begging me to stay silent. “I’d prefer the royal family find out as little as possible about the details of my . . . prior engagement.”
Sir Colin gave a solemn nod. “You can be assured of my discretion. I doubt they’ll have heard aught but a vague murmur or two. Easy to shrug off as mere rumors. But if they find out more, it will not be from me.”
My sigh mingled with the thick salty air. “I appreciate that more than I can express.”
His gaze moved to the dancing waves. “I shall never raise the subject again if you’d prefer, but I can’t help being curious . . . did you ever hear what became of Lord Lessox? It seemed he disappeared almost as quickly as he resurfaced.”
My hand slipped from the rail. “Lord Lessox?”
“He was almost as notorious in Trellich as he was in Imperia, after all, and I’d gotten the impression he was involved in . . .” He allowed his gesture to complete the statement.
I merely had to confirm what he’d already implied, yet the painful admission faltered on my tongue. “He was, though I didn’t know his identity at the time. I didn’t see him until afterward.”
His eyes widened. “You saw him?”
“In the dungeon at Dorendyn Castle. I’d gone to visit Nic—the former duke.” Cursed heat lit my cheeks.
“Ah, of course.”
Luminate bless the man for holding back any snide remarks. Heaven knew no one else would’ve. “Lord Lessox was raving and thrashing. They seemed to have tied him up so he wouldn’t injure himself.”
