Fake It 'til You Make It, page 26
‘I can’t feel my legs either.’ And I can’t take my eyes off the man in front of me. ‘I think either my body is malfunctioning or, maybe, this is what it feels like to fall in love.’
Dee links her arm through mine, pulling me into our next slow step, and through a smile, she tells me, ‘This may be the best mistake you’ve ever made.’
I glance her way now because of all of the random, rash decisions I’ve made in the last few weeks, Dee is yet to tell me that any of them is a mistake, which means she must really mean it.
‘I know,’ I confess.
But this mistake has been the best time of my life.
We reach the end of the aisle and tuck into the row of seats in front of Shernette and Mike, turning to watch Mom coming down the aisle.
But I can’t look at Mom because the man standing next to me looks incredible, he smells so good, and when he whispers to me, ‘You’re beautiful,’ every single cell in my body wants to kiss his face until my lips are numb, to feel his fingers in my hair, to feel his body under my touch.
Oh my God, I am in love with Mike.
This really has been the worst idea ever.
47
TED
I’ve been placed on a table with Shernette and Nate and his wife and kids. Nate’s okay, a bit brash and self-centered but he seems like a good guy at heart. His wife and kids are a lot but not bad people on first meeting, just a little noisy and frantic. I don’t know, maybe that’s just life for parents with young kids. I’ve got to admit, if my kids were as cute as Abbey’s niece and nephew, I’d probably let them have ice cream for main course, too.
It’s a decent table. Shernette is a great laugh and doing a stellar job for the most part of keeping my mind at the table and not drifting off into wondering what tomorrow will bring for Abbey and me. How this will all end.
I can’t bring myself to meet Terry’s eyes. I congratulated him and Anna after they renewed their vows but it felt tense, fraught. He wants me to tell Abbey the truth. I need to.
Because the best thing about sitting on this table is that I’m right in front of the top table and the most incredible and attractive woman in the room is in my direct eye line. I love Abbey in her fluffy slippers, her big pants and loungewear. Watching her move in her form-fitting sportswear yesterday did all kinds of things to my hormones that shouldn’t happen just from seeing her in Lycra.
But today, she truly is mesmerizing. From the dress and shoes to the way her hair has been curled and tucked behind one ear; even the light touch of her make-up and the smell of her perfume. Despite those things, I’ve mostly watched the bedazzling smile she’s worn nearly non-stop. The way she loves her family is immeasurable and wonderful.
I’ll be sad to have to leave all of this but that will be nothing compared to the way it would kill me to walk away from Abbey. So I have no choice. I have to tell her and give us the minutest chance of getting through this.
I already know I’m fighting a losing battle.
I saw the way she sought out Andrew in the crowd of guests as she walked down the aisle earlier.
She didn’t look at him the way she looked at me. I know that. But she still searched for him. She still cares that he’s here.
I may have been a fool when it comes to Fleur and I might not have the most extensive experience of relationships with women, but I’m not fool enough to think that the three weeks we’ve known each other can compare to the years Abbey and Andrew were together. Their shared experiences. The way they must know and understand each other.
And I’m Mike. Fecking Mike.
I’ve made an absolute disaster of this.
The heat of the day is cooling off and some of the trees are providing shade as Abbey’s dad makes a speech, followed by Nate. There’s no cake cutting but there is going to be a first dance and it’s the string quartet who announce the song and ask the newly re-vowed couple to head on up to the dance floor.
Terry doesn’t strike me as someone who naturally wants to dance in front of others, but he lets Anna lead him onto the purpose-laid floor and as the quartet begin to play, he twirls his wife under his arm.
I can empathize. I’m not a very public person and I have two left feet in any event. But Mike would dance at a party. He’d be the first person on the dance floor, even at a vow renewal. That’s my job today; it’s my return favor to Abbey.
And for the part of me that isn’t a lie here, I can’t miss an opportunity to hold Abbey in my arms and do what I’ve been wanting to do all day: kiss her.
As other guests begin to move onto the dance floor, I make for my fake girlfriend and the girl I’m fairly certain I’m falling in love with.
She looks up to me and beams when I hold out my hand, making me feel like I’m finally enough for someone, more than enough. ‘I’m not much of a mover but I’m not going to miss an opportunity to dance with the most beautiful woman here.’
Her lips grow wider and my heart skips at the thought that I made that happen. She slips her hand into mine – finally, I can touch her – and we head onto the dance floor, where other couples have started to dance alongside Abbey’s parents.
I pull her into me and, at last, my lips are on hers. She’s still Abbey from yesterday, even if we are one day closer to this being over. The woman I fell for in the mountains is still here now and kissing me back like she feels as much for me as I do her.
I don’t question it or overthink it, I just lean in.
We dance through two or three more slow songs, kissing, touching, twirling, until the quartet declare they’re done for the day and will be replaced by a DJ for the evening.
I’ve pulled my seat up to the top table now to sit with Abbey and share a glass of champagne. Her mom declares she’s going to change out of her outfit into something she can ‘boogie’ in and Terry stands to pull out her chair – nice touch.
None of us are expecting to see Andrew, with some woman following behind him, charging toward the top table.
And he’s making a beeline for Abbey. What the actual?
I’m not worried for her safety but I don’t like the look of fire in his eyes, so when Abbey stands, I rise with her, noticing as I do the magazine in Andrew’s hand. Fuck.
‘Have you seen this?’ he snarls at Abbey, shaking the rolled-up magazine angrily, his steps faltering. He’s drunk.
‘Seen what?’ Abbey asks calmly, though I hear a tremor in her voice. She’ll hate this scene, the conflict, but more than that, she’s going to hate what Andrew is about to expose.
‘Him,’ Andrew snaps, pointing now at me.
‘Andrew, don’t do this,’ I beg him. ‘Not here. Let’s go somewhere—’
‘He’s no baseball player, Abbey,’ he yells. ‘The only thing he’s playing is you. Look at this.’ He casts the copy of GQ down on the tabletop.
Terry steps to Abbey’s side. ‘Calm yourself down, Andrew. This isn’t the time or the place.’
‘Oh it is, Terry. She needs to know right now. His name isn’t even Mike. It’s Theodore. Theodore Thomas and he’s a tech developer, not a sports star.’
Andrew steps right up to us now and I’ve never wanted to smack another guy in the face as much as I do this jerk. I’ve never hit a man or anyone in my life. But the rage that slams into me like a bullet train is indescribable. I understand what people mean when they say a red mist descends. It feels like a fire has engulfed me. For the first time in thirty odd years, I want to hit something, someone.
‘He’s been playing you, Abbey, and you’re so trusting and unsuspecting that you’ve been a doormat to him.’ He leans his head to one side. ‘Abbey, he’s making a fool of you.’
Fuck, fuck, fuck. ‘Abbey, I can explain.’ Can I? Right here? Now? I’m not sure I can.
In all my calculations of how and when this whole thing could implode, I did not envisage it happening like this.
Andrew is shouting at us from the other side of the table and every person in the room is looking our way. Abbey’s dad tries to weigh in. I want to tell him not to. I don’t want to get him tied up in this, too.
But I’ve lost my voice entirely. My legs feel weak and I’m cold. So cold.
‘What have you got to say for yourself, hotshot?’ Andrew yells at me.
I’m mute.
‘Andrew, that’s enough,’ Terry says, shifting closer to Abbey.
‘Terry, he’s engaged to be married.’ Andrew picks up the magazine and slams it back down on the table. ‘Read it. He talks about how much he and his fiancée can’t wait for their wedding. Can you hear me, Abbey? Can you understand what I’m saying?’ He repeatedly pokes his fingers against his head, like she’s stupid.
With his actions, I find my backbone. ‘Your problem is with me, Andrew. And I swear to everything mighty, if you speak to her like that again, I’m going to give you a real problem.’
48
ABBEY
Mike’s voice is low, ominous. I haven’t heard him like this before.
But to me, he says quietly, ‘Abbey, that interview was done when—’
‘When you were already in New York, I remember.’ Finally, my words come as I speak only to… Who am I speaking to? ‘Theodore? Ted? Your brother?’
‘Yes. And yes, but I couldn’t say anything else. The world doesn’t know I’m not with Fleur yet. You know all this; you just think she was engaged to Mike, not me.’ He’s pleading with me and I understand the logic but right now, it’s making me look like even more of an idiot than I already do. He’s not Michael Thomas. He isn’t a baseball player. The only thing he’s played is… me.
‘You’re a piece of shit,’ Andrew gripes at Ted.
‘Andrew—’ My dad goes to speak again but I find some strength from somewhere I’ve never explored and put a hand to his chest, silencing him, in order that I can have my voice heard.
‘This is my mom and dad’s day, Andrew. This is the moment you’ve chosen to get your revenge. Like this? Will you stop at nothing to humiliate me? Ruin their day in the process?’ I slam my napkin down on the table. ‘Anything you have to say to me can be said outside. But I want everyone to hear this… I know what Mike isn’t. He isn’t the only person being fake here and it’s about time I owned the truth, too.’
I look to my mom and dad apologetically, then to my sister, who looks genuinely sad. And I tell everyone, ‘Ted isn’t my boyfriend.’ I look his way. He’s nothing to me, in fact. I don’t even know him. ‘I asked him to come here with me and pretend to be my boyfriend.’
Andrew’s face contorts, first with confusion, then hilarity. He’s mocking me.
‘You don’t have to do this, Abbey,’ Ted tells me gently.
‘Yes, I do. This part is on me. Do you know what the irony is, Andrew? I did all this to save face with you. After your throwing other women in my face in New York, I couldn’t bear to come here and see you with someone else. I couldn’t stand the thought of our families and friends trying to get us back together and you rejecting me.’
In my peripheral vision, I see Ted sit into his seat and hang his head.
‘So you brought a fake date to your mom and dad’s vow renewals and pretended he’s a professional ball player? Abbey, you’re crazy.’
I feel my nostrils flare with anger. ‘If I’m crazy, Andrew, it’s because of you. Everyone thinks you’re this great guy and God knows why but you had me fooled for long enough, too.’
‘Now you wait a minute, young lady,’ Andrew’s mom says, rising to her feet. ‘It’s you who’s making a fool of my son, bringing someone up here to make him jealous. Faking a relationship. It’s vicious.’
What I want to say to this woman is: Oh shut up, Victoria.
What I actually say to her is: ‘Oh shut up, Victoria.’
God knows I should have said that a long time ago.
‘Don’t you speak to me like that, you little vixen,’ she jibes back. ‘My son hasn’t done a thing wrong except call you out on your lies.’
Shernette springs up from her seat. ‘Oh no, I’m not listening to this crap. Abbey, I love you and I respect why you’ve kept it secret but it’s time, babe. It’s time to tell everyone what a dirty, rotten liar this fool is.’
‘Shernette, don’t I look ridiculous enough? Please.’
Ted is shaking his head, his hands locked together, his knuckles white.
‘Abbey, you’re right,’ Andrew says, softening now and reaching his hand to my elbow, still from across the table. ‘Let’s go somewhere and talk this out.’
Ted rises to his feet again. ‘Don’t touch her.’
‘I’m not an object, Ted. Please don’t make me into one.’
Meanwhile, Dad has picked up the edition of GQ and cuts across us all as he asks, ‘Where did you get this? This is my copy. You’ve been in my office.’
Huh?
Andrew drops his hand away from me, caught in the act, and only now do I see who came charging into the room, hot on his shirt tails.
Maisie freaking Daisy. And the reality is, she could have been anyone. Just another woman.
I scoff. ‘Really, Andrew? You and Maisie? It’s like we’re back in junior high.’ I push back my chair. ‘I should have realized then that leopards don’t change their spots. You cheated on me then and who knows how many times you’ve done it before you finally confessed.
‘I really hope you two will be happy together and thank you for giving me the strength to tell you that you’re a lying piece of shit. The only thing I regret about us is how much of my life I wasted on you.’ I look him in the eyes, seeing his shock, knowing it reflects everyone else’s shock in this room because, for once, I’m not walking away from the fight. ‘Go fuck yourself, Andrew. Or Maisie. But you can definitely stop fucking me over.’
With that proverbial mic drop, I step out from the table and storm through the silence of the room, making it past everyone and almost to the door before my rage turns to tears.
‘I have an announcement to make.’ I stop in my tracks and turn, seeing through blurred eyes as my sister steps onto a tabletop. ‘I’m pregnant. Yep. And I’m not even dating the guy who knocked me up.’
God, I love her.
49
TED
Goddamnit, she was not supposed to find out this way.
None of this was supposed to unfold the way it just did. I could scream in frustration with myself, my idiocy. And I want to wrap her up and tell her she’s okay, hold her together.
Because if I had just been stripped naked in front of my friends and family like Abbey was, I’d sure as hell need putting back together.
I follow her away from the party, eventually catching up to her at the edge of the lawn, where the sound of music at the party can still be heard but we’re out of the eyes and ears of the prying guests.
‘Abbey, please stop. Let me explain.’
‘Explain?’ She swings around to face me and the sight of her cuts me like a knife to my heart. Mascara-stained tears are rolling down her cheeks. ‘How can you explain what just happened, Ted? I didn’t even know your real name!’
‘I know that. And I’m more sorry than you’ll ever believe, Abbey. I swear I’ve tried to tell you so many times bu—’
‘How hard can it be?’ She throws her arms up. ‘Hey, Abbey, you know how you think I’m Mike the MLB player with the model girlfriend? Well, actually, that’s my brother. I’m Theodore, tech guy, and that model, she’s my fiancée.’
‘Was. She was.’ I step toward her and make to touch her arm but she snatches her body away from me. I hold up my hands in apology. ‘Fleur and I are done, I promise you that. And the guy she slept with was my best friend. He just isn’t a ball player; he’s my business partner.’
‘Your business partner?’ She scoffs. ‘That’s why I was giving you advice about getting out of the partnership. That’s why you fell out?’
‘Yes.’
She rubs her temples angrily, as if she can’t process everything that’s going on. I don’t blame her.
‘I’m mortified, Ted. Humiliated.’ She sniffs, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. ‘When I lived here, I was never the girl who got the guy. I was never popular. People couldn’t really believe that I even had a boyfriend, let alone a clever one, who went to an Ivy-League college and could still hold court in a room.
‘So when Andrew cheated, I figured every one of those people, if they knew the truth, would think, Yeah, that fits, she could never have kept him happy.’ She shakes her head, worrying her lip as she does. ‘I thought, if I brought another guy here with me, I’d show people I can be the girl who gets the guy, just a different guy. And that happened to be you.
‘But I fell for it, Ted. I fell for this incredible guy. Funny, smart and self-assured. Only to find out that he was faking all of it, not just our relationship.
‘Now I’m more humiliated than ever. Because somewhere along the line, I stopped caring about replacing Andrew. I believed the lie.
‘I’m more hurt than I think Andrew ever could have hurt me and everyone at that party probably hates me.’
She’s right. I fell for it too and I’m in agony, all of my own doing. She’s staring at me expectantly and I don’t know if I have the words to put any of this back together.
‘For what it’s worth, Abbey, no one who knows you could hate you. And I promise, if you can believe anything I say, that I’m hurting, too. I fell for it too. I’ve fallen for you.’
She scoffs, shakes her head and turns her back on me, walking away.
No. I always walk away from the fight. Not this time. This is the biggest fight of my life and she’s worth every second of it.
I run to get in front of her. ‘Abbey, please, just hear me out, and if you never want to speak to me again afterward, I’ll respect that. I’ll hate it but I’ll respect it.’
