A Pretend Betrothal, page 15
He offered his arm, and she was pleased when he pressed it tight against him as they strolled along.
She’d expected him to follow the path along the river. Instead, he meandered into the trees.
“It’s lovely here,” she whispered as she studied the tall oaks that surrounded them, giving a small measure of privacy.
He paused and turned to face her. “Almost as lovely as you.”
Her breath caught at the sweet compliment. She shouldn’t read too much into his remark. But it struck one more gaping hole in the meager defenses that protected her heart. She glanced away, uncertain how to respond.
“Tabitha, you truly are beautiful.”
Her attention was fully caught by his use of her formal name. It made her feel like someone else. Someone better. Someone worthy of this handsome captain. “Thank you. How kind of you to say so.”
“Why is it that I think you don’t hear it nearly enough?” He took her gloved hand and held it between both of his bare ones.
She laughed, embarrassed. “Somehow our pretend betrothal has colored your view.” It was the only explanation. She wasn’t beautiful. Far from it. Yet she wouldn’t deny that she’d always dreamed of meeting a man who thought her so.
“I saw it before our betrothal started.”
Her heart hammered at his admission. It hammered even harder at his failure to add the word ‘pretend.’ Didn’t he understand that she needed to be reminded that this wasn’t real? “You mean our pretend betrothal.”
“However you prefer to describe it.” His gaze dropped to her lips, and he leaned close to capture her mouth with his.
Tibby stiffened in surprise but only for a moment. Then she gave in to the kiss, leaning against him as close as she dared. His arms reached to hold her tight.
One thing she knew for certain. She wasn’t going to run this time. She intended to take as much as Michael offered and enjoy every moment.
Tibby reached up to wrap her hands around his shoulders, wishing she didn’t have on gloves. Taking them off would take too long. The thin leather didn’t stop her from running her fingers along his hair and neck.
She loved the way he held her as if she were a treasured object that he adored and couldn’t get enough of. No wonder she thought so often about his kisses and what might follow.
He pulled back to kiss her jaw and down her neck. The high neckline of the riding habit didn’t allow him to go far. He squeezed her waist before running his hands over her hips, making her body ache.
The feelings coursing through her were unfamiliar yet thrilling.
“Tibby,” Michael muttered. “You’re driving me mad.”
She frowned, confused as to how that could be when she wasn’t doing anything. Should she apologize?
“I—” The sound of voices cut off whatever he’d been about to say.
He stepped away and turned to the side, cursing under his breath.
A group of people was approaching. Tibby knew they couldn’t risk being caught alone like this. It would cause expectations that they set a date for a wedding they never intended to have. Her thoughts scattered.
Luckily, Michael took her elbow and strode toward where they’d left the horses at a rather hurried pace. His steps were so quick that she had to skip to keep up with him. Obviously, he didn’t want to be caught either.
The thought was a sobering one.
They returned to the horses without being seen. Tibby was disappointed when Michael made no effort to complete what he’d been about to tell her before that.
Then again, maybe it was for the best. If he’d intended to apologize for those kisses, she didn’t want to hear it. Not when she dearly hoped they would be able to repeat the experience soon.
She’d worry about her heart later, after they’d parted ways.
“CAPTAIN SHAW.”
Michael reached out to shake Major Winters’ hand, though the temptation to salute him nearly overtook the handshake. “Good to see you, Major.”
Winters’ message for them to meet had come as a surprise. Michael had found it waiting for him after returning from his ride with Tibby the previous day. At the very least, it was a welcome distraction from the unfamiliar emotions spiraling through him.
If those people hadn’t interrupted them in Hyde Park, what might he have said? Was his desire for Tibby overruling his good sense? Did he truly have feelings for her or was this lust? He thought he knew the difference but couldn’t seem to properly identify what he felt.
His confusion had kept him from saying much of anything as they returned home. They’d parted with vague promises to talk again soon.
His life was far from settled. He’d only just returned home. How could he possibly think of a long-term commitment with anyone when he didn’t know where he’d be living or what he’d be doing two months from now? He might have enough funds to support himself for a time if he lived modestly, but not to properly care for a wife.
Mind-numbing kisses shouldn’t sway him from his plan to wait to see where their relationship led. Thank goodness she’d had on a riding habit, or he might’ve taken their intimacy much further.
Michael pulled his thoughts back to Major Winters as they both sat at a secluded table in the Naval and Military Club on St. James’s Square.
“I didn’t realize you were in London,” Michael said.
While not his commanding officer, Michael knew the older man fairly well. They’d both spent several years in New Zealand and had shared a few of their concerns over a bottle of whisky or two on numerous occasions.
“I retired soon after you did. I decided I’d had enough of living abroad. My wife agreed,” Winters added with a smile. His erect bearing and neatly trimmed salt-and-pepper hair and sideburns marked him as a military man.
“How are you finding London?” Michael asked, curious as the major had always been a man of action. If Michael was finding the adjustment to civilian life difficult, Winters must find it doubly so.
Winters held his gaze for a long moment. “Not as appealing as I expected in all honesty.”
“Oh?”
“The days are surprisingly long without duties to fill them.”
“I have found the same.” Michael was relieved to learn he wasn’t the only one with those thoughts. “It will take time to become accustomed to it, I suppose.”
“I’m not given to idleness. My wife continually tells me to relax, but it’s not that easy. A lack of purpose makes me restless. Have you discovered something to fill your days?” Winters asked.
“Botany was my first choice.”
“Botany.” Winters’ brow furrowed. “Growing roses, are you?”
Michael pursed his lips. It sounded terribly boring put like that. “Something of the sort.” He didn’t care to explain further. Especially when he wasn’t really enjoying it. “However, I’ve since moved on to a new pastime.”
The satisfaction that took hold as his thoughts turned to writing the mystery novel surprised him. Yet the hobby was too new to share with anyone other than Tibby. Did he feel comfortable speaking with her about it because she’d suggested it, because she was a good friend, or something else?
That was another question he couldn’t yet answer.
Winters leaned forward, elbows on the table. “I ran into an old friend, a member of the nobility, who needs assistance. I’m hoping this task might lead to similar ones. I could think of no one I’d rather have to join me than you.”
“Oh?” Michael was intrigued.
“I need something to do, or my wife tells me she’ll find something for me.” Winters chuckled. “That is never a good thing.”
“I don’t suppose.” Michael smiled. He’d met Mrs. Winters on numerous occasions and wouldn’t want to have the intimidating woman cross with him.
“My friend needs to transfer some valuable documents and has asked for a secure escort. He would pay handsomely if the mission were successful.”
“How far do they need to go?”
“From London to Manchester.”
“That’s a significant distance.”
“I don’t know if a security detail is something you’re interested in doing long term, but if your schedule permits you to assist me this time, I would consider it a personal favor.”
“Are you certain you want me to accompany you?”
“I have no doubt. You’re one of the most dependable, discreet, and honest men I’ve had the pleasure of knowing. We’ll need at least two additional men as well.”
Winters named the fee, tempting Michael further. Having more funds in the bank would be welcome, no matter what his future held.
“Very well. I’ll join you.”
“Excellent.” Winters clapped him on the shoulder.
They discussed possible routes and the length of the journey, as well as the dangers and the need for secrecy. Michael couldn’t deny the challenge brought a certain excitement. Whether he wanted to do this again remained to be seen.
One thing he knew for certain was that his mother and grandmother wouldn’t like it.
“As I mentioned, secrecy is of the utmost importance,” Winters continued. “No one can know our true purpose or the final destination. My friend insists on it as he fears if certain individuals learn the documents are being moved, they’ll try to take them.”
Michael wanted to know what they were but didn’t bother to ask. “How soon do you want to leave?”
“In the next few days, if possible. But first, we need to see who could join us, as well as the rest of our plans.”
Perhaps a few days away from London would be good, Michael thought. Some distance from Tibby and the complicated feelings she brought forth might provide clarity. He hoped so at any rate.
Winters rose from the table and shook Michael’s hand. “I couldn’t be more pleased that you’ve agreed to accompany me. This could prove lucrative if all goes well.”
“Always good to have funds for the future.”
“That sounds as if you’ve been giving the future some thought.” Winters lifted a brow. “Does that mean you have specific plans? Marriage perhaps?”
It was on the tip of his tongue to say that he was betrothed. But how could he claim that when Tibby continued to remind him it was only pretend? Granted, he hadn’t given her any reason to believe otherwise.
“Nothing is firmly set,” he said, wondering when—or if—he’d be prepared to change that.
“It sounds as if I caught you at the right time then. Plan on meeting here again tomorrow afternoon. We’ll finalize the details then.”
Chapter Fifteen
“May I ask a question, Aunt Eleanor?” Tibby looked up from her embroidery to study her aunt.
They had been sitting together in the drawing room, working on their needlework in what had been companionable silence.
Tibby had given much thought to what she mentioned to Michael about her mother. What if she could find a gentleman who caught her mother’s eye? The lure of friends hadn’t been enough to convince her to leave the house on a regular basis. Did that mean a gentleman wouldn’t either?
Perhaps the idea was silly. Yet she couldn’t put it from her mind. At this point, it seemed like it was worth a try. Never mind that she had no idea how to go about finding a man in whom her mother might be interested.
“Of course, dear.” Her aunt looked at her expectantly. “What is it?”
“Do you think it would be possible for Mother to marry again?”
Aunt Eleanor paused in surprise, her hands stilling on her needlepoint. “Is there someone she’s been seeing?”
“Not at all.” Tibby shook her head. “It’s probably ridiculous for me to even raise the question. I just thought that meeting a gentleman might be a way to change her thinking and give her some joy in life.”
“I’m sure you’re right. Though I don’t know how we could convince her of that. She loved your father deeply. She might feel as if she were betraying him if she so much as looked at another man.”
“That is my concern as well. But still, I wonder if it’s worth a try. All I know is that she’s unhappy. I don’t like seeing her like this. I want her to find contentment, at least.”
“As do I.” Aunt Eleanor smiled. “I suppose the fact that you have become betrothed brought you the idea. Those in love always want the same for the people around them.”
Tibby’s cheeks heated. It was on the tip of her tongue to deny her aunt’s words. But she couldn’t when it was becoming true.
She had always cared for Michael, and the more time she spent with him, the deeper her feelings grew. While his recent displays of affection made her hope that he was beginning to see her as more than a friend, he hadn’t said anything to confirm that.
She couldn’t make him fall in love with her. Certainly, she’d hoped that planting the idea might cause it to bloom, but she also worried that if it didn’t, she would lose him as a friend. That would be a terrible result of her bold move.
She walked a fine line—a tight rope, much like a circus performer, taking one step at a time across a high wire. The stakes were great, and she had no idea if she would succeed. Nor had she anticipated how complicated the situation would be.
Tibby didn’t like deceiving her family and friends. She hadn’t even liked sharing her betrothal with Lady Lucinda and Lady Jane, let alone her loved ones.
How long could she continue living in this perpetual state of hope? A week? A month? Three months?
If Michael hadn’t fallen in love with her by now, would he ever?
“Do you have any suggestions as to how she might meet a gentleman?” Aunt Eleanor asked, returning Tibby’s attention to the topic at hand.
“Unfortunately, no.” Tibby was the last person who should attempt such a feat when she didn’t have a husband. Then again, it would’ve been impossible to consider the attention of another man when her affection was already taken by Michael.
“The idea holds merit but sounds challenging.” Aunt Eleanor’s brow furrowed as she mulled over the possibilities. “I suppose the first step is convincing her to attend a function where she might meet someone.”
“Hearing your opinion is most helpful. Whether we’ll be able to act remains to be seen.” The more Tibby considered the details, the more difficult any attempt to execute it sounded.
“Sometimes opening one’s eyes to the possibility allows a solution to present itself.” Aunt Eleanor sent Tibby a pointed look. “I’m certain you’ve already experienced serendipitous events in your life.”
Joining the Mayfair Literary League was certainly one of those. If Tibby hadn’t mentioned her love of reading to Phoebe, who’d then invited her to attend a meeting, Tibby wouldn’t have the friends she did. Nor would she have read so many interesting books and enjoyed the discussions they’d had.
She’d grown as a person and expanded her mind with the help of the league. More importantly, she never would’ve considered taking action to help Michael see her in a new way if not for the group.
Regardless of whether that was successful, she’d had more special moments with him than she had anticipated—moments that she’d carry with her for the rest of her life.
Might the league members also be able to help with her mother? Perhaps they knew of a man near her mother’s age who might prove to be a suitable companion, if nothing else.
“I shall ask the members of the Mayfair Literary League,” she told her aunt. “They might know someone or perhaps even have a relative who might be of interest to Mother.”
“Excellent idea,” Aunt Eleanor declared with a nod. “Already the stars are aligning for your idea.”
Couldn’t she claim that they’d also aligned for her own plan since she was now betrothed to Michael even if it was pretend? Would her luck hold and allow them a chance for a future together?
Doubts rose in her mind as quickly as the questions had. She couldn’t think of anything more she could do to make her dream a reality other than stay the course.
“When is your next league meeting?” her aunt asked.
“Tomorrow.” The thought brought a wave of nerves. She would be expected to provide an update on her attempt at the For Better or Worse agenda.
She felt far from victorious despite what might look like success to others. At least she’d made her move and could take satisfaction in that. Yet somehow, satisfaction was no longer enough.
TIBBY ENTERED HARRIET’S drawing room the following afternoon with anticipation, looking forward to seeing her friends.
Harriet was hosting since Phoebe was still gone. Though they’d debated whether to hold a meeting without their fearless leader, Phoebe had insisted they proceed before she’d departed. Tibby had come early to help Harriet with any last-minute details.
Tibby was grateful Harriet had volunteered to have the meeting. Tibby’s mother wouldn’t appreciate having guests while she was still recovering. Then again, she didn’t appreciate having guests even when she was feeling well.
“Thank you for coming early,” Harriet said, her smile warm and kind. As always, her friend wore a high-necked gown. This one was a deep plum that flattered her blonde hair and creamy skin.
“The pleasure is mine,” Tibby said as she squeezed Harriet’s arm. “Thank you again for allowing us to meet here.”
“I’ve been looking forward to it. I thought we would have refreshments after the meeting since that is what Phoebe normally does.”
“Perfect. Are any new members attending?”
They’d had significant interest from ladies to join the group, much to their surprise. Their plan for each member to catch a man’s eye had inadvertently been overheard, causing quite the turmoil, especially for Phoebe.
Although they’d expected most people to poke fun at their efforts, that hadn’t been the only result. They’d received numerous requests to become a member.
However, it had quickly become clear that many of the ladies were only interested in the For Better or Worse agenda and not because of a love of books. Turning away potential members had been a new experience, but reading was the priority of the league and always would be.
