Payback, page 27
Grayson rises and walks around the counter to Henry. He stops just before him, a softness in his gaze I’ve never seen before.
“If you hadn’t planted that phone in my dad’s safe like I asked, he might be dead now. So maybe you saved his life too.”
Henry heaves out a sigh when Grayson slowly lifts his hand and slides Henry’s hair out of his eyes.
“The way I see it,” Grayson says, “you’re kind of my hero.”
There’s honesty in his voice. A humbled kind of honor. And I have the sudden feeling that I’m intruding on something private passing between them.
A blush lights up Henry’s face. “So you’d forgive me for stashing pills in your house to keep Brynn out of trouble?”
Grayson’s hand pauses. His brows arch as an image of Henry confessing he’d hidden a bunch of Wednesday pills in Grayson’s air vent last summer slides out from my memories.
“Anyway,” says Henry quickly. “I knew I screwed up when I got back and I saw your parents on the balcony at that party. They seemed so happy. I felt terrible. I tried to leave school, but Dr. O told me that if I did, the person I’d come to care about most would be punished.”
Another game.
Grayson sneers. “Your mom?”
Henry shakes his head.
“Caleb,” I realize, the name echoing through my bones.
Henry nods rapidly. “So I stayed. I snuck into his room at night to make sure he was okay. He thought I had nightmares, and I guess … I let him think that. It was better than him knowing the truth—that Dr. O was going to hurt him because of me. I thought I could protect him, but I couldn’t, just like I couldn’t protect Brynn by planting those pills in your house, Grayson. Just like you can’t protect us now, Brynn.”
I exhale roughly. Henry’s words swirl around me. I see him taking Matthew Sterling’s credit card. Sneaking into Caleb’s room after curfew, just to watch the door.
He’s held his own secrets, just like the rest of us.
“I…” My confession waits on the tip of my tongue, but before I can give it, another knock sounds at the door.
I glance from Grayson to Henry, who shrugs and smiles.
“Are we expecting someone else?” I ask on my way to the door.
“It’s going to be fine, Brynn,” Grayson calls flatly. “We’re here because we care.”
I’m not sure what this means until I open the door and find Charlotte standing on the mat, wearing a T-shirt that says in bold letters: THIS IS MY INTERVENTION SHIRT. Geri and Sam are in tow, both looking battle ready.
“Sorry we’re late,” Charlotte announces. “I had to stop twice to pee. This kid won’t get off my bladder.” She sniffs the air. “Is that bacon? I can’t tell if I like it or I’m going to puke.”
“She’s going to puke,” says Sam.
“Focus, people,” Geri snaps.
“How did you all get here?” I ask, palms clammy. “I thought you were being watched.”
“Told you to expect resistance,” says Charlotte, raising one finger to give herself a point. “My girl is as stubborn as they get.”
My girl. Maybe she doesn’t hate me after all.
“Dr. O is at a party with the mayor,” says Grayson from the living room. “Henry drugged Ms. Maddox with some of the sleeping pills Dr. O had prescribed for him. And Belk appeared out of thin air only to grab two plates of Christmas ham and then promptly disappeared again.”
“Where did he go?” I ask.
“Somewhere he can walk,” said Charlotte. “He didn’t take a car.”
A few days ago, Moore said that Belk had been missing as well, and I’d suspected he’d been with Susan since Moore didn’t seem to know about her. If he was grabbing extra food, that could be proof that she’s still alive.
But not at Vale Hall. Someone would have seen her.
“Dr. O’s house,” I realize. “That must be where he’s keeping Susan.” The mansion, situated below the garden at the base of Vale Hall’s property, flashes through my mind. I saw it just the other day from June’s window when I was watching Grayson on the park bench.
“That’s what I’m thinking,” says Sam.
“Ms. Maddox has been packing extra food for him all week,” says Geri.
I sag in fleeting relief. “What about Moore?”
“He’s making sure Ms. Maddox stays in dreamland,” says Geri. “And diligently focusing his efforts on her and the other students for two and a half hours, not a minute more.”
I get the sense he told them that before they ducked out.
“Kind of cold out here, Brynn,” says Sam.
I step out of the way to let them in.
Henry locks the door behind me, then pats my shoulder as everyone moves to the living room. Grayson’s muted the TV, but the voices from the evening edition of Pop Store playing in Mom’s room still press through her door.
“It’s nice to be together, right?” He smiles, but his eyes are sad, and my heart is heavy. We’re not all together. Caleb’s not here.
As I look around the faces of my friends, his absence feels like a great gaping hole.
Did he choose not to come?
Panic stirs at the base of my spine. I haven’t let myself think too much about what I said to him after Model UN that day, or how he must have taken it, but I feel reality pulling on the edge of my control now, and I’m not sure I can hold it back.
Are Caleb and I over?
I follow Henry to the couch, where Charlotte is wafting the unavoidable smell of bacon away from her nose and Sam is hovering next to her, holding Mom’s ceramic bowl where she puts her keys.
“Did you start without us?” Geri asks, fists on her hips.
“Start what?” I shift uncomfortably.
“The intervention, obviously,” Charlotte says, pointing to her shirt, and the now undeniable baby bump. “You wouldn’t tell Dr. O I was pregnant unless the end of the world had actually come, so let’s hear it. What’s going on?”
They all look to me expectantly. The way they did in the cabin when they asked what the next move was—just after we’d all almost been killed.
“I…”
Their futures depend on you.
Henry’s arm links through mine. He rests his head on my shoulder, and his hair tickles my neck. “Maybe we should go around the circle and all say one thing we love about Brynn to start off.”
“I love it when she tells her best friend the truth,” says Charlotte, making me wince.
Henry’s head snaps up. “That wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.”
“I love how Brynn used to say, We’re stronger together,” says Sam, still extending the bowl toward Charlotte.
“Still a little off the mark.” Henry cringes.
“I love that time that Brynn went outside the cabin to call Dr. O, and somehow he managed to get to our exact location, two hours away from the city, in five minutes,” says Geri with a self-righteous bat of her eyes.
“Maybe I called him earlier,” I mumble.
“We were in the car with you earlier,” says Grayson. “Nice try, though.”
“Maybe they teleported,” suggests Sam. “Research suggests we’re not far from that kind of technology.”
“Well, I love Brynn because she’s so brave!” Henry announces.
And just like that, I buckle.
“All right!” I nearly shout, cringing as I realize Mom probably heard me. I lower my voice. “When I left the cabin, I tried to call Mom to make sure she was okay. She was out on a date with Geri’s dad.”
Geri goes pale. Sam inhales sharply.
“I kept losing the signal, so I walked closer to the road. That’s where Belk ambushed me. He’d put a tracker in the Jeep. Dr. O was waiting in the car. They’d already seen Susan—they’d seen all of us. If I didn’t tell them how we’d found her, he was going to give the okay to Geri’s dad to take care of Mom.”
Geri slumps. Charlotte huffs, then puts an arm around her shoulders.
Now that I’ve started, I can’t stop.
“I told Dr. O that I’d found the address to a cabin when I’d done an assignment spying on the interns in Sterling’s office. I told him none of us—not even you, Grayson—knew Susan would be there. He seemed to buy it, but he had plans for the rest of you, so I made a deal that if I could bring you back to Vale Hall—if you all fell in line—then he’d let you off the hook. I know you didn’t believe me—that you were still plotting our escape—so I told Caleb I’d rat you out to Dr. O if anyone tried to leave. Is that what you want to hear?”
The truth crushes me, and I tip forward, held upright only by Henry’s arms, now circling my waist. Relief is doused by guilt. Have I condemned them? Are we all already dead?
“Did he know about the baby or did you tell him?” asks Sam, breaking the silence. He’s sitting on the couch now, the bowl forgotten in his lap.
“He knew,” I say weakly. “Ms. Maddox must have found out and told him.”
“You owe me a twenty.” Grayson holds a hand out to Sam. “I said Maddox told David. Sam said you told David to save Charlotte.”
Sam snorts, and pulls his wallet out of his back pocket.
I gape at them.
“And you can go right ahead and pass that to me,” says Geri, snatching the bill out of Grayson’s hand as soon as Sam’s handed it over. “I said Belk must have roughed you up. Your hair was all tangled in the back. I had a good view when you were facing the other way.”
I don’t know what to say.
“I abstained from betting on principle,” Charlotte says. “Best friend rules.”
“Enjoy your high horse while I buy myself some new lip gloss,” Geri answers.
I don’t know what to say. I knew they didn’t believe me, but I thought after Caleb and I talked, they were genuinely upset. They had every reason to be.
“You don’t hate me,” I finally say.
“Of course we don’t hate you,” says Charlotte.
“Speak for yourself,” says Geri. “I hate everyone.”
“We had to pretend we were really mad,” says Henry. “It was the worst.”
“Henry nearly blew it ten times a day,” Charlotte says.
“I didn’t blow anything,” Henry says, then winks at Grayson. “Yet.”
Grayson’s face turns scarlet as Sam whistles and cackles fill the room.
They know I’ve been trying to protect them. They care about me enough to risk their lives to come here to tell me so. And yet, as overjoyed as I am, there’s something missing.
“If you knew,” I say, “where are Margot and Caleb?”
I trip over his name.
The room quiets.
“Margot’s been hard to get to,” says Grayson, in a way that sounds an awful lot like, She thinks you really are a rat.
Heavy silence blankets the room.
“And Caleb?” I ask, steeling myself for the worst.
“He went to check on his family,” Henry says, releasing me to slide his hands into his pockets. “He knew you were in trouble, he just … he thought you’d talk to him, I think.”
We can figure this out. The certainty in his tone slices through me all over again.
I hurt him, and that’s why he’s not here now. Not because he didn’t know me, but because I didn’t trust him.
I didn’t trust any of them. I thought I could handle it on my own. Be a lone wolf, like Margot said. But we can’t do this alone. We can’t survive Dr. O without each other. We need to stop him—I see that now more than ever. Damien’s gone, and Margot’s lost faith, and Susan’s locked up in some house. We need to stop this before anything else happens.
And we need Caleb to do it.
I need Caleb.
I miss Caleb.
I should have trusted all of them the way they’ve trusted me.
Henry leans closer. “We can keep an eye on your mom if you want to go for a drive.”
I’m already backing away toward the door, fighting the voice in my head that says I should stay so we should figure out our next move. We need to talk more about what happened. There are a dozen more things I should say.
But all I manage is “Thank you.” First to Henry, then to the rest of them.
Charlotte smirks at me. “Good luck, tiger.”
With the first real smile I’ve had in days, I grab my messenger bag and dart out the door.
CHAPTER 26
As I ride the train to Devon Park, I watch the dark shapes of the buildings fly by with a strange sense of peace. The intersecting streets I used to rush down once felt like spiderwebs, trapping me in place, but now I can see that they’re just broken asphalt lines, leading to stores I used to visit, and a home where I was raised. I think of the stone Mom gave me from outside our old front door, and how that place shaped me, and instead of hate, I remember that not everything that happened here was bad.
Mom’s apartment is near a station, and Moore’s aunt’s house is too. Still, the train takes twice the time it would have if I’d driven, and it’s after seven by the time I’m standing outside the small, boxy house where Caleb’s family is staying, and the sky is already black. The cold air bites at my face and neck as I pause at the end of the driveway. A green car I don’t recognize sits on the asphalt, the roof covered with a thin layer of snow. People move inside the lit window beside the door, their identities masked by thin peach drapes.
Cold tickles my throat as I swallow a deep breath and hurry toward the front door. The truth has already waited too long.
Hand fisted, I knock twice, then wait.
I hear the creak of the floor inside as someone approaches, then a pause, and the slide of the dead bolt.
Caleb’s face appears in the crack, a strip of light from a gas station on the corner lighting his scrunched brows.
All the I’m sorry’s I practiced on the train ride over are lost as my tongue ties in knots.
“Brynn?”
“Hi.” I wave, because that’s the perfect way to start a conversation. Maybe I can shake his hand next.
“Hi?” The door opens further. He searches the empty walkway behind me, his scowl growing deeper. “Everything all right?”
“Yeah. Yes. I just wanted to say … Merry Christmas.”
Really bringing my A game tonight.
“Brynn’s here!” Christopher, Caleb’s seven-year-old brother, has shoved by his hip and is pointing at me. His lips tilt in a smile.
“Christopher, quiet voices, please!” Maiko hushes him from inside. I hear another set of footsteps approach, and the door is whipped back to reveal thirteen-year-old Jonathan. He’s grown at least three inches since I saw him last, and his hair is doing a weird flip on the side I’m pretty sure is on purpose.
“I didn’t know we could invite girlfriends.” His voice cracks adorably.
My throat goes dry at the word, and I’m filled with too much hope as Caleb’s gaze darts my way.
“That’s because you don’t have one,” Caleb responds.
“Do too.”
“Do not.”
“Do—”
“Brynn!” Maiko shoves between them, beaming as she reaches forward to take my hands. “Come in! It’s freezing.”
Maiko pulls me into the living room, which is brightly lit by two standing lamps, but empty. Faded rectangles line the yellow walls from pictures that have been removed.
“I’m sorry we aren’t at home,” Maiko apologizes. “We had some unfortunate problems at the house. The city has moved us here until everything’s resolved.”
I think of Sam’s forged note explaining the situation and wince.
“It’s great,” I tell her.
“At least we’re together.” Maiko’s even more positive than usual. “That’s what matters, right?”
I feel Caleb’s gaze on my face and grow warm. “Yes,” I say quietly.
Their shoes are neatly lined up in the tile foyer, and I toe mine off to add to the end. Caleb takes my coat and hangs it on the rack. Jonathan reaches for my bag, but I’m gripping the strap tightly against my chest.
“Are you hungry?” Maiko asks. “We have so much food. I made all the boys’ favorites.”
“She’s been cooking for days,” says Christopher, trudging farther down the hall into what I assume is the kitchen. The lights are brighter there, and the smell of something warm and salty makes my stomach grumble.
“That’s because there’s nothing else to do in this place,” groans Jonathan.
“You could always name the mouse,” Caleb answers.
“I already have,” says Jonathan. “I call him Caleb. He craps everywhere.”
Caleb’s face cracks into a smile. “That does sound like me.”
“Boys, please,” says Maiko. “It’s Christmas. Be polite.”
“Be polite,” Jonathan squeaks.
“I’m trying,” Caleb squeaks back. His face grows serious again as he turns to his mom. “Can Brynn and I have a second?”
“Of course.” Maiko nods. “Take your time.”
“They need privacy to kiss!” shouts Christopher from the kitchen.
My neck grows warm.
Caleb’s ears grow pink.
“I should have invited my girlfriend,” Jonathan mutters as Maiko ushers him down the hall.
And just like that, we’re alone again.
“Sorry,” Caleb says, as if he has to apologize for his brothers to me.
“No,” I say. “I’m sorry.”
He waits, watching me carefully. His blue collared shirt is the slightest bit wrinkled; his black and white Chucks peek out below the ends of his jeans.
“I thought I could save everyone if I did what Dr. O wanted.”
He leans against the wall beside the coatrack. “No one asked you to take him on alone.”
“I know. I got scared.” I swallow. “Because I love you.”
He’s still for a long moment. It reminds me of the way sponges take on water. Bit by bit, absorbing more with each passing second. Finally, he reaches a hand toward me—a question without words. I release the strap of my bag to weave my fingers through his.
“I told you,” he says.
I hiccup a laugh. He pulls me closer until my socked feet are between his and our bodies line up. The thunder of his heart fills my ear. One muscle at a time, I melt into him. One breath after another, the tension eases from my jaw, my shoulders, my chest.
