Hold Fast, page 8
“I would have thought that fell under ‘A watched pot never boils.’”
“When I was fourteen I watched a pot boil just to prove that was a lie.”
Zack laughed as he followed Isaiah into a small kitchen with walls that reminded him of how light hit the climbing wall through the orange parts of the stained glass window. Recognizably orange-ish, but neither too dark nor too bright. “I can picture that. You standing obstinately in front of a pot of water just so you could tell people that a watched pot does, in fact, boil.” He’d’ve been a lanky kid, probably. Tall before he filled out, and Zack could imagine the defiance in his expression.
“I’ve used it, too. Not anymore because my priorities changed. Sometimes there’s wisdom in watching without directly participating.” Isaiah hit the light for the oven and bent down to peer through the window.
“That sounds a lot like what you did with your client,” Zack said, sliding The Alchemist between his notebooks and taking a seat at the peninsula. The kitchen was still relatively clean, even mid-cooking. Dirty dishes were stacked neatly in the sink, all pots and sauce spoons. A dish rack installed on the wall over the sink held a few glasses and a bowl. The minimal counter space—most of which was on the peninsula—wasn’t cluttered with appliances, though a fancy-looking espresso machine perched beside the sink.
“Sometimes it does feel like watching a pot boil.” Isaiah leaned back against the corner of the counter between the stove and the sink. “Coaching is probably my favorite current business. It combines the stuff I’m good at in a way I find personally satisfying, and makes enough money to be worthwhile even when it’s not.”
“You have…more than one current business?”
That slow grin again. Zack’s heart kicked up a notch waiting for Isaiah to speak (and staring at his lips). “Oh yeah. Part of it is because I don’t really retire businesses. Like I haven’t published a Venomenon video in years, but I still get new subscribers, and I still make ad revenue off that channel.”
“I watched a few of them. Though I didn’t really…get it. I don’t think.”
Isaiah shrugged. “When I was nineteen and YouTube was young, it seemed really awesome. I had friends with odd pets, and a good relationship with the East Bay Vivarium, so I had access to a lot of creatures folks thought were exotic. And my boyfriend at the time was an EMT.”
“I was going to ask about, uh, health concerns related to consistently allowing yourself to be stung by things.”
“Really low, if you do your research. But even so, it was good having Doug around just in case. Anyway, while I was doing that, before it took off, I did web design as well, just basic set-up and training. Venomenon consumed my life for a while and after two years of traveling a lot to find new stuff to hurt me, and a close call with a guy who hadn’t milked his rattler as much as he thought he had, I decided to wind that down.”
“Yikes.” Zack reached for something coherent to say that wasn’t…retrospective fretting. “That must have been scary.”
“I was pretty stupid, so it wasn’t as scary as it probably should have been. But it wasn’t as fun as it had been either.”
“What’d you do after that?”
“A few things. For a while I ran classes through a web portal about engaging social media audiences with original content. That was interesting, but I wasn’t charging enough to make it worthwhile. I went back to web design, and picked up some clients that way. Tried a few different YouTube channels, but none of them came anywhere near the success of Venomenon. I’m currently looking for the next big thing, the next idea that sweeps me away. Gotta find the magic. I like everything I’m doing, but it’s been a long time since I succeeded in anything I really loved.” He shrugged again. “I told you: I’m terrific at failing. Not a serial monogamist in business, though. I like to juggle.”
Zack raised his eyebrows. “Are you a serial monogamist in other ways?”
“Nah. I prefer non-exclusive commitment. In the past, anyway. You?” One of Isaiah’s eyebrows rose, arched, and Zack found himself captivated by it, wishing he could brush his thumb over it, learn its shape.
“My parents were all about free love.”
“And feminism, you said. Which I thought was a little strange at the time.”
“It was the eighties. Glam rock and stuff. A world of contradictions.” Zack had to look away. He didn’t always tell people this part, and he never wanted to watch them when he did. “They didn’t believe in monogamy at all. My mom’s this amazing artist and poet, and my dad’s an organizer. We always had a lot of people living with us, and my parents had sex with a fair number of them. Sometimes together, probably. And they weren’t inappropriate with it, I don’t think. They were just…a lot more open than most people.”
Walking in on your dad making out with your mom’s editor on the back patio, and watching as the men disappeared into a bedroom had seemed totally normal. It took a few tough moments with friends over to get how freaky other people thought it was.
“Some of it was really great. I never came out to them. They accepted me completely, you know? And even after they got divorced, they still got along really well. So I don’t know, for a while I was a monogamy hardliner, just because I’d never seen it and sort of blamed the way they…weren’t that for how some stuff went down. Then I grew up and realized one had nothing to do with the other.”
“Huh.”
Was that a that’s the creepiest shit I ever heard “huh,” or something else?
“Yeah, I can see that. So what do you do now in relationships?”
“Avoid them, mostly.” He attempted a smile, but it felt false. “I’m critical and unforgiving. I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with me, so I can’t imagine how anyone else would. And I know this is the point where you’re supposed to tell me that you’d want to be in a relationship with me, but I’d rather you didn’t. We don’t know each other that well. And I can’t even think about a relationship right now anyway, so I’m actually relieved it’s not an issue.”
Both of Isaiah’s eyebrows raised that time, mirror archways, but all he said was, “I’ve never been great at balancing work and personal relationships. I don’t think I avoid them specifically, but they naturally seem to avoid me.”
Zack was still trying to figure out how to turn the conversation back to Isaiah’s many businesses without sounding like he was running from the topic of relationships when the buzzer on the oven went off.
“Oh man, I really hope this is good. I’ve never made a vegan lasagne before, but I got nervous that you might not eat meat. You didn’t eat anything at the bar, but you did have a beer, so I figured gluten was all right.”
“You…made a vegan lasagne because I might be vegan.” That was so stupidly charming. He tried not to grin, which probably made his face pinch unattractively, but if he let his mouth do the unabashed glowing thing it wanted to do, he wouldn’t be able to look Isaiah in the eye for the rest of the night.
“Yeah. Wait, are you?”
Zack could only shake his head, still forcing his face into what was probably a horrifying grimace.
“Ha, joke’s on both of us, then. This is either going to be the best vegan lasagne ever, or we’re ordering a pizza.”
Since he’d never been there, Zack was useless at helping do…anything. He watched as Isaiah slid slices of lasagne on plates and brought down wine glasses.
He’d cooked for their first date. That was a surprise.
“Do you enjoy cooking?” Zack asked as they sat down at the table.
“I co-hosted a cooking show for about three months. Bachelors in the Pantry.”
“Bachelors. In the Pantry.”
Isaiah kind of…giggled. “Okay, it was an embarrassing name.”
“How was the show?” When Isaiah headed back to the kitchen for something, Zack picked up the wine opener. “Also embarrassing?”
“If I tell you about it, you have to promise not to laugh.”
“You already laughed about it. I can’t make that promise.”
Isaiah took a seat and offered his glass to be filled. “It was ridiculous. I own that. First, I did it with this frat boy I’d met through Venomenon, and he was a little obsessed with butching me up for the camera.”
Zack almost spit out his first sip of wine. “He what?”
“I know. He’d say things like, ‘That’s a great shirt. You should wear that for our next show.’ The whole thing kind of dissolved after a few months, but it wasn’t until I told the story to Milo that he pointed out that the guy was trying to make sure I passed as straight.”
“Because you’re so…flamboyant? Not that there’s anything wrong with being flamboyant, obviously. But you really aren’t.”
“Nah, he was probably worried if people knew I was gay, they’d think he was, too. Sad sap. Anyway, yeah, I like the science experiment side of cooking. Messing with recipes until I’m satisfied with them. Man, you should taste my gluten free chocolate chip cookies. They’re amazing.”
Zack adopted a very serious expression. “But do they…bring all the boys to the yard?”
“Oh yeah. As long as by ‘boys’ you mean my sister and her friends.” Isaiah raised his glass. “Thank you for bringing the wine, by the way.”
“Of course. I mean, you actually cooked. Thanks for dinner.”
“My pleasure.” And when Isaiah said it, Zack believed it.
Silence descended for a few minutes as they ate, save for a few remarks about the lasagne, which was fantastic. Full of vegetables, and he wasn’t clear on what was making it creamy if it didn’t have cheese in it, but he didn’t care. It was delicious.
“Seconds?”
Zack reflected on the possible directions he hoped the evening would go and shook his head. “No. Thank you. I don’t know if it rivals your chocolate chip cookies, but it’s excellent.”
“Thank you.” Isaiah topped up their wine and just…looked at Zack. Like he had that first day.
It was too much to endure. Zack cleared his throat. “So you’ve heard about my folks. I know you have a sister. Do you have any other siblings?”
“One sister, one brother, both younger. You’re an only child?”
“Yeah. Your parents still together?”
“I think they would have been. My mom died when I was twelve. My dad never remarried.”
Zack winced. “Shit, I’m sorry. I mean, I’m sorry for your loss.”
“It’s okay. I’m pretty close with my dad. And my brother and sister like me more than they used to.” He smiled. “I don’t know if you’ve picked up on this at all, but I can be somewhat interrogative. It took a long time to learn that it translated to bullying when it came to my siblings.”
“Ouch. I’m sure they knew you meant well. Or…did you? Mean well?”
Isaiah held up his hand and tilted it back and forth. “I had good intentions, sure. But I also thought I knew everything, including what they should and should not be doing with their lives. My sister Ruth works on cruises, like actual cruise ships. I thought it was the worst idea she’d ever had when she said she was planning to do it.”
“Why? I mean, you must have had a reason.”
“Not a good one. I thought she should stay in school, go into a career.” Isaiah gestured to the room. “Which was a little hypocritical.”
“Just a little.”
“I know. But I knew that the alternative was less stable, and I wanted her to have stability. I, of course, could choose to go in a different direction, but I expected her to live in a way that would enable me to feel secure in her choices.” He shook his head. “It’s so obvious looking back. At the time I felt righteous as hell about it.”
“It’s easy to get caught up in things like that, I think. At least, for me it is.”
“Self righteousness?” Isaiah teased lightly.
“Well…yes. Or just…caught up in a certain idea of how things should go. So convinced that it’s hard to adjust to anything different than that idea.”
“Yeah, exactly. Speaking of ideas, should I show you my studio?”
“Please.”
They carried their wine with them as Isaiah led through his apartment. Back through the living room, past the front door, and into a hallway.
“Two bedrooms, so I use one for recording. It took a few years to get it adequately soundproofed, but it’s solid now. My neighbors have kids and you still can’t hear anything on audio.”
It was…a real studio. One of the walls was even painted green. “Is that like a green screen?”
“Yep. Well, the DIY version. Works great.”
Instead of a desk there was a table set up with three monitors and a fancy keyboard. And a flat thing that didn’t look like a screen. Zack was still puzzling over it when Isaiah explained.
“Tablet for drawing directly into a program. It’s a lot of fun to play with.”
He shot Isaiah a look. “Nerd.”
“Geek, actually.”
“I apologize for my lack of sensitivity to your geekiness.”
“Damn right you do.”
Now they were both grinning at each other. Zack refocused on the recording gear. “You have a PC and a Mac?”
“Yeah. They have different strengths. Plus, sometimes it’s convenient to have two machines running at the same time. I have a duel boot Linux/Windows laptop around here somewhere, too.”
“I’m really seeing the geek thing now.”
Isaiah stepped in close behind him, reaching for the keyboard to wake up one of the monitors. “You want to try drawing with my tablet, Zack? You might enjoy it.”
“Are you propositioning me right now?”
Isaiah laughed. “Hell yes. But I’m serious about the tablet, too.”
“I don’t have any current need to draw.” Zack turned and leaned his butt carefully against the table. “You want to show me your bedroom, or are you saving it?”
“Nothing we can do in the bedroom that we can’t do here.” Isaiah, already close, shifted forward. “I’ve been thinking about you all day.”
“Me too. I mean, about you.”
“I figured.”
God, they were close. And he couldn’t stop staring at Isaiah’s mouth. “So you can make vegan lasagne that tastes good, you can teach yoga in tight pants, you can get stung and bitten by things for fun…anything you can’t do?”
“I’m sure there probably is, but nothing’s springing to mind.” Isaiah dragged a hand down his body and Zack’s gaze followed it. “This is where I resist the urge to make a joke about something else that’s springing up…”
And wow, was it ever. Zack swallowed hard. “I’d rather the bedroom. If we stay in here I’m going to be preoccupied by potentially breaking your electronics.”
“Oh yeah? You planning to get wild?”
He shoved Isaiah away. “Not in here.” Feeling bold as hell, he walked down the hall without an escort.
“Considering that a promise!” Isaiah called after him.
Zack looked around the bedroom. It was a comfortable size, though not large. He thought the bed was a queen, and the black headboard matched the nightstand and the dresser. “Ikea?” he asked as Isaiah came up behind him again.
“I can’t resist a maze-like showroom.”
And oh god, arms wrapped around him and tugged him back. Zack bit down on his tongue. “Nice comforter.”
“Can’t help my crush on Ironman. I’d follow Robert Downey Junior anywhere.”
“I wasn’t aware they made children’s bedding for queen sized beds.”
Lips latched onto his neck and he gasped. After a brief—not kiss, not bite, barely a graze of teeth—Isaiah spoke directly into his ear. “You’re a little mouthy, dollface. You looking for me to take you down, or do you want to spar?”
Zack flushed and evaded. “Dollface? Really?”
Isaiah’s low laugh rumbled through his chest, pressed tightly against Zack. “Yeah, those eyes. I was baiting you with the endearment, but my question was real. What do you want tonight, Zack? What do you like?”
“I want you to blow me. It was hard to concentrate on my work today, thinking about that. Which was probably your goal.”
“Hell no. My goal was to have you right then. I can’t even believe you made me wait a whole damn day.” A teasing nip to his earlobe. “A lesser man might be insecure.”
Zack tilted his head back, giving Isaiah more access. “Insecure I made you wait?”
“Sure. I might be fooled into thinking you weren’t interested, but I’m not. I’m onto you, man.”
“Onto me?” The heat of Isaiah’s mouth sank into his skin, making it impossible to do anything but echo.
“Yeah.” Another laugh and Isaiah stroked him through his slacks. “Yeah, you made both of us wait. I have half a mind to make you wait a whole lot longer, just to see how crazy I can make you. Would you like that, Zack?”
“Oh god. Please keep doing what you’re doing.” He shut his eyes, arching into Isaiah’s hands only to be pulled back against him.
“I’m gonna have so much fun taking you apart, boy.” A kiss just under his ear. “Sorry. I usually use a lot of words for the dude I’m with. Trying to curb that.”
“It’s—it’s okay—just—” Zack shuddered with another sweet, torturous caress. He felt lips at his ear, and breath, before he heard Isaiah’s voice.
“I want you sitting on the bed so I can kneel between your legs.”
“Yes, yes, can we—yes.”
Both of them began to fumble with the buttons of his shirt until he finally broke away from Isaiah to do it himself. Which had the added benefit of Isaiah also taking off his shirt, and oh god, Zack wanted to lick the planes of his gorgeous body.
What the hell. He dropped his undershirt and slid his hand around Isaiah’s back to hold him in place while he kissed one dark nipple, then sucked it to a point.
“Aw fuck me, that’s good, yeah. That’s real good. Jesus.”
Isaiah’s chest was muscular, lightly dusted with hair, skin smooth. He was strong. Making him moan was intoxicating.
