Mother of the Bride, page 9
That woman back there was someone I’d wanted for thirty-five years. Even when we were apart, she’d been at the back of my mind. She was the first girl I’d loved, even if I hadn’t realized it, and whether consciously or unconsciously, I’d compared every woman I’d met afterwards to her.
I could still feel her lips on mine, her hands on my body. I’d had the luck to kiss her – not once in a lifetime, but twice! – and I was going to let it end like this? Here? Now? What if she decided she didn’t want to be with me in any way? What if she realized she’d been fooling herself into thinking she could have feelings for me?
I couldn’t let this slip out of my fingers. Not without at least going back and letting her know how I felt. Forget how this might affect Maggie and my grandbaby. This was my life, wasn’t it? Sometimes I had to do something just for me.
I took hold of the doorknob. As I’d suspected, it swiveled easily under my hand. Inside, Bethany stood stock-still where I’d left her, her eyes wide and vulnerable as I came toward her.
“I didn’t want to leave without saying a proper goodbye.” I laced my arms around her waist, feeling brave and bold and terrified all at once. “If you don’t want me to kiss you again, say so now.”
“I want you to kiss me,” she whispered.
So I did, and the world melted away.
Fifteen – Bethany
I sat in the waiting room, checking my watch as the last patient in the room was called. The gray-and-white husky frolicked into the examination room, making me smile. There was nothing wrong with that little guy, I’d bet my life savings on it.
When the dog left a few minutes later, George emerged as well. “Mom? What are you doing here?” he asked.
“Sit here with me,” I said. “I’d like to talk to you.”
The receptionist gave him a look of concern. “Everything okay, Dr. Farmer?”
“More than okay. This is my mother.” He pulled a set of keys out of his pocket. “You go on home, I’ll lock up.”
Once she was gone, he turned to me. “What’s going on? I didn’t expect you to come to town for another week or two.”
“I know. I’ve been wanting to have a chat with you for a while, and I thought I might as well bite the bullet and come into town.”
“On a Monday afternoon?”
“I didn’t want to wait any longer.” In case I chickened out again, I added silently.
I’d left work early in order to come here. Normally I didn’t like asking my boss for allowances like this for any reason. Kissing Gloria had emboldened me. Why should I care what my boss thought? Why should I be afraid of what George might say? I’d kissed a woman, and I hadn’t cared about what anyone would think.
Ever since that day, I’d been walking with a new swagger. I felt twenty years younger. Lighter. Vibrant. We’d talked on the phone a few times since our visit, chatting and mildly flirting, although we hadn’t made any decisions about our relationship. Making my move on her without worrying about the future or what anyone else thought was the kind of thing I would’ve done as a carefree teenager, and I hoped it was only the first step toward becoming my old self again.
“What’s going on?” George asked, sitting in a chair beside me. “Is it about Dad?”
Just like that, all my carefully-constructed poise shattered. He knew why I was upset. He hadn’t been oblivious – he’d deliberately chosen to make me feel this way.
How had I ever been so self-assured and outspoken as a teenager? I had vague memories of not paying attention to what anyone thought, but somewhere along the line, that ability had left me completely.
“Yes,” I said through gritted teeth. “It’s about your father.”
“I know you were surprised to see him at the engagement party.”
More like blindsided, but okay. “Yes, I was.”
“I should’ve told you he’d be there.” George looked repentant. “I kind of thought you’d both just stay with the people you knew and not go near each other.”
“The fact that he came up to me… that was out of your control.” I tensed more as I came to the part I’d really been dreading. “Why would you invite him? Have you two been in touch?” Do you spend time with him, too? Do you love him more than me?
“We do speak from time to time,” George said, carefully measuring his words. “I’m not saying what he did to you was excusable in any way… but… he’s still my father.”
My heart jumped. He was saying exactly what I’d feared. Although he’d couched it in vague terminology, he was saying he didn’t hate Todd. He still wanted a relationship with him.
“He is your father, in the sense that he provided the genetic material for your birth,” I said. “Has he done anything more than that? Are you sure?”
“Come on, Mom. He’s been there for me all my life. He’s been as good to me as you have. I don’t approve of what he did, but I’m not going to just cut him out of my life.”
“You don’t approve? You don’t?” My voice grew higher pitched, and I was glad we were alone. “Because the way you’re acting, I could’ve thought you did.”
“Mom, please be reasonable. Was he supposed to stick with you forever even after he fell out of love with you? Stay out of obligation, and nothing more?”
My jaw fell open. “Is that what you think happened? He fell out of love?”
“How would you put it?” He squirmed under my glare.
“That man stole my good years,” I hissed. “Sucked all the youth out of me. I gave him the prime of my life. Both of us working full-time, but which of us did every bit of the housework? Which of our bodies never fully recovered from having a child? Then the minute a pretty young thing crooked her pinky finger, he went running. He didn’t fall out of love with me, George. He took a look at the way he’d used me up, and he decided to start draining the life out of someone new.”
George sat frozen. He’d never heard me talk like this before. I hadn’t, either. These depths of bitterness and resentment had only become apparent to me after the divorce.
“I don’t want to sound like I blame you,” I said after it became apparent that he wasn’t going to speak. “I knew what I was getting into when I decided to have a child. The tearing, the stretch marks, the sagging – it was worth it to have you. I just thought he’d be there with me to the end. I thought we were a team. That whatever went wrong, we’d get through together. I never guessed we were on opposing teams. That when he met that girl, he won, and he could start a new game with her.”
“I never looked at it like that.” George’s face was ashen. “I don’t know how to feel anymore.”
I shrugged, picking up my purse. “I’m not saying to not talk to your father. Just give me a heads-up if you’re going to have both of us in the same room.”
As I drove away, I already felt lighter. Freer. I’d spoken my mind, and even if George hadn’t apologized a thousand times and promised to never speak to Todd again, he understood my point of view better than before.
I should’ve turned onto the highway, headed home to my empty house and my plants. But the idea didn’t even cross my mind as I turned onto the main road to cross town. The invisible rope that bound me to Gloria had been tugging at me since she’d left yesterday, and now that I was in town, there was no chance of me not going to see her.
I was fearless. I was daring.
I was all out of battery, and Gloria wasn’t home right now.
I swore to myself as I took a seat on her porch. I should’ve called first – I’d had some romantic notion of surprising her, wanting to see the look on her face when she realized I’d come to see her again.
I didn’t even have a book with me this time, and with no cell phone, the only thing I could do was sit and wave at Dr. Claws through the window as if he’d be able to let me in. After a while, even he padded away.
The night was getting chilly, and the thought of going home crossed my mind. I had no idea when Gloria would be coming back. Just when I’d decided to cut my losses and leave, her car pulled into the driveway.
“Bethany?” she asked as she climbed out of the car.
The look of stunned happiness on her face was worth every minute that I’d waited. “I happened to be in the neighborhood,” I said with a shrug. “Thought I’d drop by.”
She gave me a hug – a long, tight one that might not have looked out of the norm to anyone else, but that left me feeling fuzzy and warm inside. “Get in the house,” she ordered. “You must be tired and starving.”
“A little,” I said. “But there’s something else I’d like first.”
I pressed her against the wall and locked my lips to hers. Kissing her was starting to come naturally. Now that I’d done it a few times, “I’m kissing a woman” wasn’t the only thing running through my mind. She still left me breathless, but now I could think about what I was doing. Kissing her felt just like kissing a man, except she was softer, more yielding – which wasn’t a bad thing at all.
“What does this mean?” she asked, her eyes bright, as I pulled away. “Have you thought things through? This fast?”
“Not exactly.” I hadn’t thought anything through. “All I know is, I really want to be here. Want to be with you.”
Her brow furrowed, her voice growing hoarse. “I thought we discussed this. We decided you –both of us – should be sure.”
“Wouldn’t it be great if it was that easy?” I murmured.
The way she was holding me, her hands gripping my hips, had heat building between my thighs. She was looking at me like she wanted to devour me, and I wanted – God help me – I wanted to let her.
No, I couldn’t claim to be straight anymore. I didn’t know what I was, and at the moment, I didn’t care. Not if knowing got in the way of being with her.
“I’m only human,” she said, her breath ragged. “I can only resist you for so long.”
“So don’t.” I stroked her hair.
“What if this is a mistake? What if we screw everything up?”
“Then we’ll deal with that as it comes,” I said. “Just like anything else in life.”
“You don’t understand.” Her eyes were desperate now. “I’ve been hurt a lot of times, Bethany. If we do this, I’m going to fall for you. Completely.”
It was as if she was trying to warn me off, but her words only made me more sure of what we were doing. “This is all new for me,” I whispered. “But I think… I think I’m right there with you.”
“And George?” she asked, struggling even harder now. “And Maggie?”
I had no good response for that one. Instead of speaking, I kissed her again. Her lips opened to mine, my tongue sliding against hers as her breath came faster and faster. A moan emerged from her, the sound vibrating into my mouth, and I realized with a thrill that I wanted to hear more of that. I wanted to make her moan louder.
“Upstairs,” she breathed, already grabbing at the buttons of my blouse.
Her bedroom was small, almost cramped, yet neat and nicely decorated. Once she closed the curtains, it was dimly lit, and I was grateful for the lack of light as we slowly shed our clothes. Between every few kisses, the same disbelieving thoughts would come back to me: Am I really doing this? She’d touch me again and the answer would come, just as firmly – not in words but in the response of my body. Yes, I am, and I couldn’t be more turned on.
By the time we were down to our bras and panties, my core was aching for more than kisses. It’d been so long since anyone had touched me like this, and more than that, Gloria had awakened a desire in me I hadn’t even known I had.
Inching me over to the bed, she sat me down and unclasped the hook of my bra. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” she asked, pausing before she took it off.
“More than okay. Gloria…” My voice tight, I shook the bra off.
Her eyes widened sharply, and a shot of fear went through me. What if she was disgusted by me? But no, she couldn’t be. She touched my breasts gently, stroking each one in turn. She was adoring me, worshipping me, the way she’d promised she would.
She brought her lips, her tongue to my chest, and only when she’d drawn more pleasure out of me than I could imagine did she reach for the waistband of my panties. I lifted my hips for her, my heart racing as I gave her access to the deepest part of me.
Her tongue on me was a revelation. Sex had never felt like this before – it’d never made goosebumps raise on my arms, my nipples harden to diamonds. The sheets twisted up in my hands as all sense of time and place escaped from me. My first climax was on me before I even knew it was coming. The second and third, and the ones after that, gave little more warning.
When I couldn’t take any more, I moved onto my knees. If I could make her feel even a tiny shadow of what she’d just done to me, I was eager to do it.
“Bethany, you don’t have to.” Her voice was husky, and her eyes shone even in the darkness. “I don’t expect anything from you.”
“But I want to.”
I spread her legs the way she’d done to me, and I took in the sight of her most secret parts. I hadn’t been sure how I’d feel once I was really here. Now I saw my body was flooding with desire – to look, to touch, to taste.
I grazed a gentle fingertip over her folds and was rewarded by a shudder and a gasp. As I traced my finger up to her bud, her body shook even more. With her head rolling back and her back arching, she looked like something out of a Renaissance-era painting.
My heart was in my throat as I touched and caressed her. I’d never dreamed of doing all these things to a woman, but now I was so grateful I had the chance to try. Watching her breasts quiver as she sucked in ragged breaths, watching her expression shift and contort with every little move I made.
What else had I been missing in life? Maybe she’d been right about my life not being over, about there being more out there for me to explore. As she writhed below me, her orgasm building, I didn’t feel like a wife or a mother. I felt like me – a woman who was discovering something about herself for the first time.
Discovering it late – but better late than never.
Sixteen – Gloria
“I love these crocuses,” I said, lifting a flower to sniff it. “And the azaleas. A bouquet of purple crocuses and pink azaleas would be a little unique and so beautiful.”
“You must be joking, Mom,” Maggie said. “You just picked two of the flowers most toxic to dogs. Have you forgotten we’re holding the wedding at a dog sanctuary?”
“Oh, right,” I said with a shrug.
To be honest, I wasn’t thinking too hard about the flower arrangements. No matter which flowers the kids picked for the wedding – which was still months away – I was sure they’d be fine.
I was more focused on Bethany’s presence a few feet away from me, where she was looking at floral arrangements with George. I still felt like I had to be dreaming our relationship, but over the last two weeks, it’d gotten more and more real. Even though we hid things in public, I was getting used to the knowledge that she’d be mine again once we were behind closed doors.
We weren’t ready to tell Maggie and George yet. We wanted to be completely sure we were going to stay together before we dropped that bomb. They might flip out, and it’d be for good reason. Who’d ever heard of a baby whose grandmothers were dating each other?
If “dating” was even the word for what we were doing, because we hadn’t quite clarified that either. All I knew was that she’d been at my place the last two weekends, and that we’d hardly gotten out of bed. She seemed enthralled by all the new things I was teaching her, and she showed no sign of getting bored.
Down the aisle, she bent to pick up a miniature cactus. A thrill went through me as I watched her shirt lift to reveal an inch of skin, her pants tightening over her round bottom. Just a few hours ago, I’d been squeezing and caressing those soft cheeks. I could hardly wait to do it again.
“I was thinking of petunias,” Maggie said, holding up a bouquet of multicolored flowers. “Or maybe zinnias.”
“Those both look good.”
“George wanted roses, if you can believe it,” she said. “How cliché would that be?”
“They’re flowers, sweetie. Whatever you choose will be fine.” I glanced over at Bethany again. She’d stood up and pulled her shirt down, unfortunately.
Maggie followed my gaze, and a frown of confusion came over her face.
“How’s the baby doing?” I asked, making a not-so-subtle ploy to change the subject. “Any major updates?”
She’d developed a tiny baby bump now that she was four months along, and she rested her hand on it as her expression softened. “Everything’s good. I’ve been having less nausea. A little heartburn, though.”
“Oh, I forgot about the heartburn.” I grimaced. “It just got worse and worse while I was pregnant with you.”
“Great, something to look forward to.” She rolled her eyes. “At least it was all worth it for you. You ended up with me!”
She was trying to be silly, but I pecked her cheek anyway. “More than worth it. I hope you know that.”
She backed away, pretending she was embarrassed of me. I knew her too well, though – I could see the way the corners of her lips kept turning upward. “George, honey, have you found anything good?”
“We were looking at these bouquets,” he said, holding one up. “Tulips with baby’s breath, and we can customize them with some twine.”
“No twine,” Maggie said. “We talked about this.”
“Either way, they’ll look nice on the picnic tables,” I said.
“Mom,” Maggie groaned. “We’re talking about the flowers I’m going to be holding!”
Bethany chuckled. “I can see you’re a natural at wedding planning, Gloria.”
To anyone else, it would’ve looked like she was teasing me mildly. But her eyes caught mine and held them, and the ever-so-slight seductive quality of her voice promised me she’d make up for the jibe later.
I coughed. “Don’t you need flowers for the picnic tables, too?”
