Mother of the Bride, page 11
She looked up at me, adoration clear on her face. “I could never get bored of you.”
“But I mean… your sexuality.”
“It seems like I like women, don’t you think?” she asked. “All signs point to me being bisexual.” Her face went pink, and I wondered if she’d ever voiced that thought out loud before.
I bent down to kiss her, feeling her suck in a breath as my lips touched hers. “That works for me,” I said. “I’m ready to tell people whenever you are. I would’ve told them already – I’ve just been waiting for you to be comfortable.”
“Really?”
“Well, yeah. For me, it’s not that big a deal to say I have a new girlfriend. For you, it’s going to shock everyone you know.”
She rolled onto her side, her smile growing. “A new girlfriend? Is that official now?”
My heartbeat picked up speed. “If you want it to be.”
“That sounds good to me.”
Another long kiss, and I was the one who was breathless. Bethany Farmer was my girlfriend, and my eighteen-year-old self was rejoicing inside me. I wished I could go back in time and tell her she had all of this to look forward to.
“I’m going to shock everyone,” she said, looking surprisingly happy at the thought. “And I’m not going to give a fuck.”
“I hope you use those exact words when you tell them.” I snorted. “Seriously, though. I think Maggie and George should be the first to know. Us dating kind of affects them, too.”
“Okay. It’ll be better to tell them in person, though.”
“Together or separately?”
She considered the question. “I’d say together. Then they’ll both find out at the same time. No preferential treatment.”
“Next weekend, then?”
“Next weekend.”
The kiss she gave me then stirred something in my soul. I had the woman I’d always wanted, and soon the entire world was going to know.
What could possibly go wrong?
*
On Saturday, Maggie called and said she had a bad cold. She wasn’t going to be up for going on our normal walk today, but since I was free, why didn’t I come over? I was at her door within half an hour, carrying a bag bursting with canned chicken noodle soup, honey-lemon tea, and vitamin C tablets.
“Where’s George?” I asked, casting a disapproving glance around her apartment. “Why isn’t he taking care of you?”
“He already had plans.” Her congestion was audible, and she rubbed at her nose with a tissue. “Very important ones.”
“Like what? Was he working?”
“Not exactly.” She flopped into a kitchen chair, sticking her slipper-clad feet out in front of her. “He had to meet up with his friends to play video games.”
I gave her a sharp glance. “Why did you let him leave?”
“I wasn’t going to make him stay and take care of me if he didn’t want to. And he obviously didn’t.” She let out a frustrated sigh.
I’d been planning to heat up the soup for her. Now I ditched that plan and sat across from her, leaning my head in my hands as I stared at her, trying to read her expression. “Have things gotten worse since last week, sweetie?”
“Not any worse than they’ve already been. I just… can’t take it anymore.”
My heart was breaking at seeing her in pain. “What’s going on, Maggie? Tell me everything.”
She rubbed at a tear. “This pregnancy’s been bad enough. I’m always exhausted, no matter how much sleep I get. My feet are swollen and in pain. My back aches, I get constant heartburn, and the hemorrhoids… oh God, the hemorrhoids.” She made a face. “I never understood what I put you through until now.”
“You didn’t put me through anything on purpose. It was all more than worth it once I saw you.”
“I know, and I’m sure I’ll feel the same once the baby’s born. How can I get through four more months of this, though? It feels like it’s going to be a million years. And now I’m sick, too?” She blew her nose. “This is the absolute worst thing I’ve ever been through.”
I patted her hand. “It’ll be over before you know it. And if George doesn’t understand what you’re going through, you have to tell him.”
“I’ve tried, Mom! Don’t you think I’ve tried?”
I noticed she was getting irritated with me. I didn’t mind – she was frustrated and hormonal. It was nothing personal. “He hasn’t improved at all?” I asked. “It seemed like he was doing his fair share of the wedding planning.”
“Because you don’t see any of what happens behind closed doors.” She was getting close to tears. “I’m the one up late researching vendors and choosing musicians. He came to one pregnancy class – I’m the one making the birth plan. I have to referee every little disagreement between my bridesmaids, and even when his groomsmen have issues, they come running to me, too! I’m doing all the emotional labor here, and I’m sick, and I’m pregnant, and he’s off playing video games with his friends? I can’t handle it!”
Her face crumpled, and tears ran down her cheeks. I moved beside her so I could pat her back. It wasn’t much, but my weak attempts to comfort her were all I could offer.
“Everything will pass in its time,” I said gently. “A year from now, all of this will be a distant memory.”
“I don’t know, Mom.” She hiccupped. “I don’t think we’re going to make it that far. We’ll be lucky if we even make it to the wedding.”
“Don’t say that.” I sat up straight, a surge of selfishness going through me. If she broke up with George, where would I stand with Bethany? I pushed the thought away – now wasn’t the time for it. This was about Maggie’s relationship, not mine. “You and George love each other, and you’re pregnant with his child. You two can make things work.”
“Can we?” she asked desperately. “I don’t even know anymore! This all happened so fast. The more I think about it, you were right. We barely knew each other when I moved in here, and we were already fighting then. I was on the verge of moving out, but then I found out I was pregnant.”
“You were that close to breaking up?”
She nodded tearily. “I was going to tell you, but then I realized my period was late. I should’ve talked to you then. Maybe – maybe I would’ve made different decisions.”
“Don’t think that way,” I said, pained. “This baby is a blessing. You’ll see once he’s born. Even if George and Bethany aren’t in your life at all, you’ll see.”
She turned toward me, looking stunned. “Bethany. I forgot about Bethany. I hope it won’t ruin your relationship if I break up with George.”
“Our relationship?” I tried to keep my mouth from falling open. Did she know? Had she somehow managed to figure our secret out?
“I mean, you two are such good friends. Seems like she’s your best friend now, actually.”
“Oh, yes. Of course.” I looked away, scratching the back of my neck. “If things go wrong between you, it might be a bit rough on us.” That was putting it mildly.
“I knew I’d ruin everything.” She wiped her eyes again. “Why am I always so fucking stupid?”
“Stop. Don’t say that. Don’t worry about me.” I gave her a tight hug. “You have to do what’s best for you and your little peanut. Just talk to George, and don’t make any decisions while you’re sick.”
“Okay,” she said softly. “I’ll talk to him… I’ll do my best.”
That was all I could ask.
I just hoped “her best” would be enough.
Nineteen – Bethany
When I arrived at Gloria’s place, she looked tired and drawn. “We’re not going to be able to tell them about us tomorrow,” she said before I’d even finished petting Dr. Claws.
I stood up straight, forgetting about the cat. In response, he strode away with a haughty set to his tail. “Why wouldn’t we tell them?” I asked Gloria.
As we moved into her living room, she filled me in on the day’s events – how Maggie and George were on the rocks, and Maggie wasn’t sure if they’d actually get married. The news left me feeling sick. Other than their spat last week, I’d had no idea their relationship was doing so badly. They’d done a great job of hiding their issues, even from their own mothers.
“George didn’t tell me anything,” I said.
Just from those few words, Gloria could tell I was feeling hurt. “Maybe he doesn’t know how bad the issues are. Maggie is only reaching her breaking point now.”
“He must know something. You said she said they’ve been fighting all the time.”
“Well, he hadn’t seen you recently. He didn’t have the chance to tell you in person. Maggie happened to get sick, and that’s the only reason she called me.”
“Right.” I swallowed my bitterness.
If George got sick, there was no way he’d call me. He had Maggie to take care of him – something he apparently wasn’t willing to do for her – and if he needed outside help, he’d probably call Todd.
Clearly Gloria was closer with Maggie than I was with George. I tried not to resent her for it. Our parent-child relationships weren’t a competition… even if they kind of felt like one.
“So we’ll have to hold off on telling them about us,” she concluded, rubbing her temples as she reclined on the couch. “Only until they’ve worked out the issues in their own relationship.”
“What if they don’t?” I asked. “What then? I don’t want to keep this on hold forever.”
“Anxious to come out, are you?”
“I just feel like I’m hiding something huge from my friends, my coworkers, my book group… And I can’t tell anyone before I tell George. What if they were to spread it around and it came back to them?”
“Welcome to being in the closet,” she said wryly. “There’s a whole lot of angst and anxiety associated with it. You’re just going through it a lot later than everyone else.”
“I don’t care who knows I’m in love with you. I just want it to be public knowledge already.” I sighed. “What was the closet like for you, anyway? When did you figure things out?”
“Slowly,” she said. “Being gay wasn’t on my radar until well after Maggie was born. Then I started noticing my body responded to my female friends touching me in a way it didn’t for my husband. I went to see this movie, Mulholland Drive. The lesbian characters were normal people, just like you and me, and something clicked. I knew… but I sat on it for another few years, not wanting to break up my relationship or ruin Maggie’s childhood.”
“At least I won’t have to sit on this for years,” I said. “Well, hopefully. I mean, what’s our game plan if they break up?”
We decided to give them a month to work out the issues in their relationship. We were both fairly sure they’d decide to stay together, seeing as they seemed to care about each other and they were having a baby together.
By that point, Gloria and I would’ve been seeing each other for more than two months. We’d be even more secure in our own relationship. And although I didn’t say it out loud, I thought that being secure would be important if George and Maggie did break up.
But they wouldn’t. I was sure – almost sure – they wouldn’t.
*
Instead of all of us meeting up, I called George and invited him out for a mother-son heart-to-heart. I hated to take him away from Maggie while she was sick, but this conversation was more important. He came over to Gloria’s house while Gloria went over to see Maggie.
I made some coffee, knowing I’d need the shot of energy to get through this conversation. We sat in the kitchen and I wrapped my hands around the mug, clenching it tightly. “What’s going on between you and Maggie?” I asked bluntly.
He gave me a funny look. “Why would anything be going on?”
“She talked to Gloria,” I said. “She said you’ve been having some issues. A lot of issues, actually.”
“Like that she’s turned into a bridezilla?”
Raising an eyebrow, I took a sip of coffee. “Is that how you see it?”
He let out a sigh. “She’s becoming a different person lately. I don’t know if it’s the pregnancy or the wedding or both. I can’t do anything without getting yelled at. She’s not the same girl I fell in love with.”
Maybe you should’ve waited more than six months before knocking her up, I held back from saying. “Gloria said Maggie feels like she’s doing all the housework, along with the wedding planning and the baby preparations.”
“She won’t let me do anything!” His frustration was evident. “Like when we were at the flower shop, she shot down every idea I offered. Remember? She wants everything exactly how she wants it, and no one else’s opinion matters.”
I did remember Maggie being irritable that day. Maybe he had a point. “Still, that doesn’t excuse you slacking on the housework.”
“I don’t!” he exclaimed. “I do what I can, but she’ll literally do it over again. If I wash the dishes, she’ll say I’m doing it wrong and they’re still dirty, and she’ll wash them all over again!”
I frowned. I’d taught him to wash dishes myself, so I knew he was perfectly capable of it. “Has she always been this way?” I asked.
“No, it’s gotten a lot worse. Those tendencies were there from the start, but she’s taken them to the extreme.” He looked down at his coffee cup. “She’s changed so much, Mom. If we weren’t having a kid, well…” He shook his head. “I don’t know how I feel about her anymore.”
My stomach churned. This was bad – really bad.
I’d hoped he’d admit he wasn’t pulling his weight around the apartment, and that after talking to me, he’d get his head on straight. But clearly their relationship issues weren’t one-sided, and the solution wasn’t going to be that simple.
“You need to get yourselves a counselor,” I said. “Once you talk things through with a third party, you’ll understand each other so much better.”
“I just don’t know if I even care about understanding her.”
“Of course you do.” My voice was harsh, almost angry. “She’s having your child. She’s pregnant and sick, and you went out and played video games?”
“Only after she’d been screaming at me all morning!” He glared at me. “Don’t take her side just because you’re friends with Gloria.”
This was all going to get so much more complicated once the kids knew we were dating. “I’m trying to be fair to both of you,” I said.
“Even though I was supposed to take your side and not be fair to Dad?”
I recoiled back. “This has nothing to do with me and your father.”
“I’m just saying,” he said tightly. “It seems like you’re on her team. I don’t know if it’s because you’re both women, or because of Gloria, but I don’t like it. If Maggie keeps being terrible to me, I’m going to break off the engagement. Break things off with her entirely.”
“Not while she’s pregnant with your child, you’re not.”
He gave me a disdainful look. “I’m not a kid anymore. You don’t get to tell me what to do.” He got up and dumped his coffee in the sink. “I’m done with this conversation.”
“George, stop.” I followed him to the front door, my heart breaking into pieces. “I’m on your side, I promise. Just tell me you’ll get a relationship counselor. Please?”
“Fine, I will.” He opened the door, not looking back at me. “But it might already be too late.”
Twenty – Gloria
Two weeks had gone by since we’d found out about Maggie and George’s relationship problems. Two weeks, in which our hopes of them working things out had dropped lower and lower.
“He canceled this week’s appointment with the relationship counselor?” I asked Maggie over the phone. “What excuse did he have?”
Lying on my bed, Bethany shot me a glare at the word “excuse.” I held up a finger and continued to pace around my room.
“He said the counselor’s unfairly biased toward me because she’s a woman,” Maggie said. “I said he could find another counselor if he wants, even a male one, but he isn’t doing it.”
“He needs to.” I stopped pacing and put my free hand on my hip. “He isn’t taking this seriously.”
Bethany huffed and reached for my house phone.
“Don’t call George!” I said. “We’re supposed to be neutral about this.”
“Wait, is Bethany there?” Maggie asked. “Are you going to tell her what I said?”
Shoot! I hadn’t meant to give away that she was here. “You know she stays with me most weekends,” I said. And those that she doesn’t, I stay with her.
“This is so awkward, Mom. Can’t you two spend a little less time together while George and me are fighting?”
“No, I don’t think that’s a fair thing for you to ask.” I rolled my eyes in Bethany’s direction, assuming she’d figure out what Maggie had said.
“What if we split up?” Maggie asked. “Are you two still going to be besties? Please tell me you’ll stop hanging out.”
“Look,” I said, “I know it’s a strange situation, but our friendship has nothing to do with you two. We were friends long before either of you was born, and we talk about a lot more than your wedding and your baby.”
Maggie let out an exasperated sigh. “Fine. Whatever. I gotta go.”
We hung up, and I sat down next to Bethany. “This isn’t good,” I said.
She laid her head across my lap, rubbing against me like a cat. “I know. Two more weeks, and we’ll tell them anyway.”
“I’m not even worried about telling them right now. I just want them to stay together.” I hated the thought of Maggie being a single mom. I had all the respect in the world for women who did it, but the fact was it was hard. George would step up and co-parent, if need be. But for me, that was the worst-case scenario.
“I hope they won’t stay together if they keep making each other miserable,” Bethany said. “Better to break things off now and go their separate ways rather than stick together out of obligation, hating each other the whole time.”
