Sozaboy, page 20
But just as I was thinking of this, then I heard people shouting. I listened carefully. They were saying that the war have ended. That everyone should return from the bush and wherever they are hiding. That there will be no more shooting of gun, no more prisoner of war for sozas and everyone can go to his village because everything is awright now. To tell you true, I cannot believe all this at first because I cannot understand how the fighting will just stop automatic like that. Only yesterday Manmuswak was shooting prisoners and today they are telling us that the war have ended. Some time it is just trick so that porson will commot from the bush and then they will arrest him and shoot him. Because it is possible that there are many people like Manmuswak who are just liking to kill and such porson will do anything to kill whether soza or civilian because to him war is war and anything can happen and whether people die or they do not die is not his own concern.
So although I have heard that the war have ended and that we should all commot from the bush, I still remain there. Because by this time, I am no longer afraid of bush as I have stayed inside bush at Iwoama and inside bush the time I was going to look for Agnes my wife and my mama inside all those refugee camps. Then after two nights and two days and true true I do not hear the sound of gun again, only birds singing in the tree for morning time and in the night just cricket making noise, I think that true true praps the war have ended and that it is time to return to Dukana. If so, all those Dukana people will now go back and some time my mama and my wife Agnes will be there too.
It was when I began to think of my wife and my mama that I just tell myself that I will not hide inside that bush again. I must return quick quick to Dukana. If possible, I will go to that camp where all the Dukana people were staying and some time I will be able to see my mama. So I come commot from that bush. And when I got to the road, I saw many many people with load on their head just walking in one line from where I was standing till I cannot see again either for my right hand or for my left hand. In short all the people when the war have ended were returning to their village and because there is no motor to carry them and also the people have no money, they were just walking by leg and carrying their small load on their head.
Believe me yours sincerely, if you see as those people were looking, you will sorry for them. Everyone very black and dirty with rag cloth for body or sometime no cloth at all sef, and the things they are carrying on the head like small bundle also very dirty and like rag and all the men and women and children very thin and some of them with big big belly and brown hair on their head. They were all walking, walking, walking very very slow because you can see that they are tired and have no power again. Even some of them just drop for ground as they are walking and die. Then their friend or brother will stop and make small pit and bury the man or woman and then they will carry their small rag bundle again and continue to go as they were going before. They cannot even cry for the porson who have dead.
Nevertheless, I myself joined them to walk. At first, I do not know where to go because I do not know where I am. After some time, I come meet one sozaman and I come ask am where is Pitakwa. Then he pointed to where the sun is rising and I begin to walk in that direction. I walked for very very long time. The whole of that day in fact. All the time what I was seeing was long long lines of men and women and children either walking the same road as myself or passing me in the other direction. All of them have small bundle for hand and nobody was talking because they are not strong enough to talk. Many times, I will pass some villages. All the houses in the village have either fallen down or some part of it have fallen down. And then I will see some men and women just sitting down in front of the house either crying or putting their head in their hand. Some people are clearing the ground to remove all the weed and grass that have started to grow outside and inside the house. It was not a good thing to see at all at all.
I continued to walk like that for three days and three nights before I can get to Pitakwa. When I got to Pitakwa, I can see that a lot of people have returned to the town. There is plenty of noise but not as before. People are riding bicycle, but not too many. As for motor, many of them have broke down and no one to repair. So the people who are returning to the villages near Pitakwa are all walking in straight line too with small small bundle in their hand or on their head. I think that as I am very near to Dukana now that praps I will see some Dukana people and may be my mama and my Agnes. But although I waited and looked for long time for that place, I did not see any Dukana people at all. So I knew that I must walk to Dukana and by God’s help when I get there, I will see everyone who have fit able to return.
After another one day and one night, I come reach Dukana. As I was getting to the forest which is in front of my home town, my heart was beating drum – dam dim dam dim dam dim dam, dam dim dim. Because I do not know what is waiting for me. I am begging God please to allow me to see my mama and my Agnes again. I am asking whether Agnes is still young good wife with J.J.C. or whether one sozaman have taken her away from me and I will not see her again or even if I see her, she will not be my wife again. I am wondering if that foolish Chief Birabee and wicked Pastor Barika are still alive and whether they have returned to Dukana to play their wickedness again. I am saying to myself that if I see them I will tell them something because of the way they have handed me to those sozas to beat me and kill me just because I am looking for my family and I do not want to fight useless war again. I say to myself that I must tell all the Dukana people how those people are useless and nobody should go to church and listen to Pastor Barika because he can sell his mama sake of money and all the preaching that he have been preaching in Dukana is all lies. And I am thinking how when I see my mama sometime she will not fit to be able to recognise me, but I will go to her and tell her that I am her son and I am sorry how I have disobeyed her word not to join army because I have seen now that army is useless and war is even more useless and that from this time I will be very good man and fine driver. And she will just cry and be very happy that I have returned to Dukana. And she will show me where my wife Agnes is standing waiting for me to hold her and embrace her. Oh, I think it will be wonderful.
So now, I come enter the village. It surprisised me that every place was very very quiet. Ah-ah. Have the people of Dukana not returned from the war? From refugee camp? From compost pit camp? Or have they all dead from hunger and kwashiokor? Or what is happening?
I come walk more and more into the village. Every place was still very quiet, and all the houses that have broken down nobody have repaired them. And there was plenty grass everywhere. More than the other time that I have come to Dukana before I went to look for my people. Wonderful. My heart begin to cut well well. I begin fear that I will not see my mama and my Agnes again. I continued to walk. I think you know that by this time, the sun have begin to go down and night was coming. But porson can still see everything oh. It was not yet night. I walk quick quick, quick quick to where my mama house used to be. When I got there now, the house cannot be seen at all. Even the thatch was not there again. No sign that house was in that place. Ah-ah. What does this mean? And I cannot see anybody at all. Wonders will never end. So I begin to go to some house that I have seen but I have not looked carefully.
As I was getting near that house, one woman come commot from inside. I was walking towards her, and she just stood there, looking at me, looking at me. I called her because I know her name. She just stayed in that front of her house and looked at me. And when I walked to her to get near her, she just jumped up, ran inside the house with fear and closed the door. When I knock for the house, I no hear any reply at all. I knock and call my name plenty times but still no answer.
So I come go another house in the village. Everybody have closed their door and they are inside the house. Every time that I knock on the door, they will go and open the door. But as soon as they see me, they will just shout and enter the house and lock the door. And even if I stay there and shout my name one hundred times and beg that all I want to know is if my mama or my Agnes is in that house or any other house for Dukana or anywhere in this world at all, nobody will answer me. Everywhere that I go to it was the same thing.
So as night was coming to fall now, I just go inside the broken church because that is the only building that is still standing and the doors are open and I think that nobody will throw me out of it because after all it is the house of God and all of us are God’s picken although that Pastor Barika is the in-charger of the church and he is very wicked man.
So that night, I lay inside the church. If I tell you that I sleep well, I am telling lie and God will punish me. Because all the time, what I am wondering is where my mama and my wife are staying. And then, why is everybody running from me as soon as they hear my voice or my name? And why is Dukana still like village where all the people have already dead? Do they know that the war have ended? These are the questions I was asking myself and I could not sleep throughout that night.
During that night, I heard some people who are crying small small, small small. I looked from the door of the church where I was staying and I saw some people moving, holding one small lantern. I moved small out of the church so that I can see them proper and hear them well well. They were walking, carrying one small bundle and crying. I followed them. They were walking to the forest which as you know is very very near the town. I followed them. After some time when they are in the beginning of the forest, they stopped. I myself stopped too and I went to hide behind one small bush so that they will not see me. Because they are holding lantern, I myself can see everything that they are doing. Then they kept the small bundle down. And one man took a hoe that he was carrying and begin to dig the ground. He was digging, digging, digging and the other people were crying, crying. After he have dig for some time and made hole in the ground they put the bundle inside the ground and covered the hole that they have dig with soil. Then they begin to cry again, small small, small small. Hardly sef that I can hear them. Then they carried their lantern again and begin to go back where they have come from.
I myself followed them. And when I get near the church, I entered the church again. Every place was very very dark. There is no noise in Dukana at all. No noise at all. I begin to turn for my mind what I have seen. As you know, when somebody die in Dukana, they have to cry plenty and drink plenty ginkana, push-me-I-push-you, and they will bury the porson after three days or so. But even when they have buried him, they will still cry and drink and dance. That is if the porson is good man and he just died. They will always bury him in his house whether inside or in his compound. But if the porson have died by juju or some bad illness, that man or woman will not be buried inside his house or inside the village. He must be buried in the bad forest so that the bad thing that have killed him will not stay in the town and begin to kill more and more people. And nobody can cry for anybody who have died from juju. Because if anybody cries for that porson who have been killed by juju it means that the porson who is crying knows about the juju or praps he is the messenger of the juju and he can kill other people too in the village.
So when I saw those people carrying that small bundle to the forest and digging the ground, I know that bad porson have died and that something bad is happening. But I was not surprisised plenty. Because after all it is not first time that juju have killed somebody in Dukana.
But in fact what began to worry me is that after some time that night, I see another people with lantern and small bundle going to the bad forest. I followed them too and I saw them as they were digging the ground and burying the small bundle that they were carrying on their head and they were crying small small, small small, after that. And every time I will return to the church and wait and then they will come again with small bundle and lantern always going to the bad forest. So I knew that some bad thing is happening in Dukana.
True true, something bad is happening. That is why nobody agreed to open the door for me even though I was shouting my name. Praps that is why when they see me they just run inside the house and close the door. Then fear come catch me. So that night, I did not sleep at all.
Early in the morning after the second cock crow I was thinking that praps people will come to the church. But there was no bell. And no church. Nobody moving around in Dukana sef as they used to do before, either to go to the farm or to go and fish or to draw water from the stream. So everybody is just staying inside their house and locking the door. Wonderful. Something very bad is happening in this Dukana, that is what I was saying to myself. And I begin to sorry for myself. Because even in my own town I have no house, I am staying inside the church and nobody can agree to put me inside their house or even open the door for me. When they hear my voice or my name they will just close the door and run away. And no news of my mama or my Agnes. Oh God, what have I done to suffer like this? Ehn? What have I done that you are punishing me?
After now, when day have broke well well, I am very confused. I don’t know whether I will go outside that church or whether to stay inside or whether to go away from Dukana or what to do. So I said I will wait inside the church for some time and see whether some people will go out of their house and then praps I can ask them what is happening in Dukana. But for very long time nobody came out of their house. Every place was just very quiet. Then I myself said no, I cannot stay inside that church. After all am I not sozaboy? Can I be fearing anything after what I have seen as soza in Iwoama and in war front and in prison camp? Can I be fearing? Why? I must go and shake all those Dukana people who are hiding in their house. Praps they are still thinking that the war have not finished. If so, I will go and tell all of them that the war have already end and surely as I am sozaboy they will listen to me and stop their fear and behaving like cockroach that is hiding in dark corner of the house when day have broke.
So I come get out of that church and begin to walk. First I went to where our house used to stand. And true true there was no house. Same as yesterday. So my mama and Agnes have not returned. Because at least if they have returned, they will clear the ground. Or praps they are staying in another part of Dukana. Awright, if it is so then I must go and look for them or anybody who can tell me something about what is happening. So I begin to walk everywhere in Dukana. All the doors of the houses were closed. Any many houses that have fallen down nobody was cleaning or removing the mud and the thatch or clearing the grass. As I am walking I will be shouting my name. Still nobody opens the door of their house. Ah-ah. What is happening?
In one house, I saw smoke coming from the roof. So I said somebody must be in that house cooking otherwise there cannot be smoke in the house. So I went to the door of the house and began to knock and to shout my name. I was shouting my name very loud and knocking on the door very loud. But nobody answered my call. I even wanted to broke the door and go inside. But after some time I changed my mind and continued to walk inside the town.
One time I saw one man walking towards me. I think I know the man very well. It is Bom. So I started to run so that I can get near him quickly. I was very happy because at least I have seen one Dukana man that I know and porson who can tell me everything. But do you know what happened? As soon as this man saw me, he turned away and began to run from me. I pursued him. But he ran very fast and disappeared. Ah-ah? Is it not Bom that I have seen that time that I came to Dukana in Manmuswak land rover? Was he not hiding in the forest drinking palmy and roasting yam? He did not run away from me that time. Why is he running away from me now? Look, I don’t like what is happening at all.
So now I said that I will not walk in Dukana again. I must go back to the church and then I will think what I will do because I cannot stay in the church all the time and praps I cannot stay in Dukana again. To talk true I was not happy at all. And not just that I was not happy. I was very very sad at all. Because this is not what I was thinking all this time that I was looking for my mama in refugee camp or after the war have ended before I started to return. So I begin to walk small small, small small, with my eye on the ground to return to the church.
When I reached the church, I just lay on the ground and then sleep come catch me. I slept well well whether because I did not sleep in the night or because I am very tired I don’t know. But anyway I sleep well well because by the time I open my eye, it was very very dark. And then I begin to see those people with lantern again walking with small bundle on their head going to the bad forest. This time I did not follow them because already I know where they are going. So plenty people are dying in Dukana. But what is killing them? Is it hunger or kwashiokor? No, it cannot be. Because if all these people did not die in compost pit refugee camp why should they die in Dukana after they have returned and there is plenty food because nobody have harvested the food during the war and now people do not have money to buy the food and anybody can eat anything that he likes many times in one day. So it must be juju. But who is using juju to kill everybody in Dukana? And why are they running from me?
I was still thinking this thing in my mind when I heard something like snake or cockroach or cat or tiger moving in the door of the church. I did not move or say anything. I just stayed where I was lying down quietly like tortoise because I do not want any bad thing to know that I am in that church and praps come to worry me. But I was only wasting my time because no sooner than a voice that I know very well shouted: “Whoever you are, whether ghost or spirit or man or juju, hiding in this church come out now and let me see you.”
