Sozaboy, page 19
When I opened my eyes, I cannot see anything. I think I was in cave or hole for rabbit or something like that because it was very very dark. And all my body was paining me. I cannot carry my hand up. And my leg is like big big load. My head was full of wound as I can feel it. And oh, I just want to die because the pain was too plenty. I begin cry small small, small small. Until I don’t know what happened again.
When I opened my eyes again, it is still the same thing. My head was beating drum, beating drum, beating drum. And I cannot carry up my hand or leg. And all my body was full of wound and my belly was turning and turning and turning. Even I cannot cry sef. And I just think I must die, die one time. Because it is better to die and buried than to live like maggot as I am living now. I was asking God to take my life one time. Then I will just close my eye and will not know what have happened again.
It was like this for long long time. I cannot tell you how long time it is because I do not know how many years have passed since they threw me into that cave or rabbit hole. And I was sleeping and waking, sleeping and waking, all that time, with my head beating drum and I was hearing plenty shout like train, motor, aeroplane and motor cycle passing inside my ear all the time that I am awake.
Then one time, somebody come open the door and I see the light as I was lying on the floor. The man say I should get up. I just don’t know what he wants me to do because my leg is very heavy. He began to shout that I should get up now now. And since I cannot do so by myself, he just pulled my hand with force. I got up and then I fell again like bag for one corner. Then he called some more people to come and carry me. They carried me outside. Then I see that I am in some kain Army Camp again. Plenty sozas walking up and down and running up and down. And plenty people like myself without shirt only pant with wound for all dem body.
So one of the sozas told me that I am enemy soza and I must be buried alive. I just hear the man. I don’t know what he is talking about. I just see his lips move up and down, up and down. Then he told the sozas who have carried me from the room to throw me inside land rover and take me away. I think that true true they are going to take me away to bury me alive. So I just fall down like a bag of gari. The sozas carry me one time, throw me inside the land rover and drove away.
I don’t know where they are taking me to. I was inside that land rover for a very long time. And all that time, my head was paining me bad bad. Oh I tell you, I was very very sick. I hear many people shouting and laughing inside my head. Then we got to another Army camp and the land rover stopped. So they took me from the land rover and threw me inside another room. This time, not me alone dey for the room. Plenty of us. And I can tell you that that room was smelling bad bad with shit and urine.
After I have stayed in that prison for some time, my eye begin clear small small. The pain for my body and inside my head was not plenty again. I begin to talk to the porson who was sitting near me. I begin to feel hungry and thirsty. So I just asked the porson who is near me whether he can give me water to drink and some food to chop. He said that he is prisoner of war like myself. That he have no food and no water. That since he came to that prison, they have not given him any food. Only palm kernel and dirty water every afternoon. That they will soon come and bring the palm kernel and dirty water for that day. And true true after some time, one porson brought it. He called it ration. I was very hungry and thirsty. So I drank the water and ate the palm kernel. Everything tasted very very nice. And then I come sleep again.
When I woke up, I was still feeling pain in my leg and my body. But my head don clear well well. Just suddenly, I begin remember all the things that have happened to me since that time that I was standing in front of Chief Birabee and Pastor Barika. And all the bad things that have happened to me since. Then I come remember my mama and my wife, Agnes. And I say to myself that I must escape from that prison. Because should in case I cannot escape, then I will not see my people again. And I have promised myself that I must see them in this world before I die. When I was thinking like this, one tall man came and called one of the prisoners. The prisoner went out with him. Although that prison was very dark, because of no light, I think that I have seen that tall man before. I think that I have heard that voice before.
Next day, after they have brought us the palm kernel and the dirty water, the tall man came in again and called another prisoner. The prisoner went out with him. It was that time that I asked the prisoner who was lying near to me where they were taking the prisoners to. He told me that he thinks they will either shoot them or bury them alive. Because any time they took away a prisoner, they do not bring him back again. Only after some time, we will hear the sound of one shot of gun and that will be all. He said that they do not ask anybody any question. They will just shoot you or bury you alive. Unless everybody was busy fighting that particular day, then they will forget to kill the prisoner. Otherwise because they have no food to give the prisoners and no cloth and no medicine and no anything, it is better to kill the prisoners.
“Why do they not kill all the prisoners one time and even before they put them in prison?” I asked the prisoner.
“Praps they have no ammo to use in killing the prisoner. Or praps the prisoner is too weak or tired or ill to dig his grave,” the prisoner replied.
“So that is how they will call us one by one?” I asked.
“Oh yes,” the prisoner said. ‘It is turn by turn.”
“Do you know when it will be your turn?”
“Any time from now.”
“And are you ready to die?”
“Sure. Is a matter of can’t help,” the prisoner replied.
Chei! You see how this prisoner is talking about death as if it is nothing to him, as if it is play or something like that.
“Have you been in this prison for long time?” I asked.
“No. They just captured me in war front. I have been here for seven days.”
“Seven days!”
“Yes. And every day, they are shooting one one prisoner. But they must hurry up if they want to kill all the prisoners because the war will soon end.”
“Is it so?”
“Oh yes. The war will soon end. Our people are pressing on. They will smash these people very soon.”
“True?”
“Oh yes. The war will soon end. And all sozas can then return home. Pity I will not be there when it’s all over. But no regret.”
As this soza was talking was a great surprisation to me. Nothing was worrying him at all at all. He was just talking like porson who is inside his own house and preparing to go to have his bath or eat his food.
“Do you have wife and picken and mama?”
“Oh yes.”
“Do you not like to see them again?”
“If God permit. If not, then that is that.”
“Have you been soza for long time?”
“Since the war began. Not very long. I joined the army because I like as the sozas were marching and singing and wearing fine fine uniform and boot. The one I like most is the cap. Even for that cap alone, I can join army one hundred times.”
“And have you enjoyed to be soza?” I asked him.
“Oh yes. A soza’s life is a merry one.”
“So does it mean you enjoy to be prisoner like this?”
“Oh no.”
“Then why have you not run away from this prison?”
“Because I cannot run away.”
“And will it pain you when they call you to shoot you or bury you alive?”
“It is soza’s life. Nobody can run away from death. After all some people die in their sleep. Old men can die and small picken can die. A sozaman and death are brothers.”
I was looking at this soza prisoner with my mouth open very wide. Because as you know, I am worrying plenty about how they are going to shoot me or bury me alive and I will not see my mama and Agnes with J.J.C. again. But he is not worrying about anything at all. Or is he?
“So you are not worrying about anything at all?” I asked him.
“My only worry is that I did not have enough ammo to kill myself that day I was captured in war front. What I wanted to do was to kill the enemy and then use the last bullet to kill myself before anyone can make me a prisoner. But man proposes and God disposes. That is why they were able to catch me that day. However, I have no regret because war is war.” Aha, this soza prisoner have said that thing again. War is war. When I hear that word again, I begin to think of all the things that have happened to me since I was in Dukana, till I come join the enemy army and go to Dukana to see all those broken down houses and how my Agnes and my mama are missing and all those suffering in the refugee camp and how they have now taken me to be prisoner and they can shoot me or bury me alive and nobody will know or care because after all there are so many people dying in the war front and so many who are dying in prison or refugee camp and that is that. And when I think of Manmuswak that I have seen in African Upwine Bar in New York Diobu and then in war front and now this soza prisoner who does not worry whether he will die or not, I begin to know that after all I am not small boy again. That I cannot keep on thinking of my mama and Agnes because the other things that I am seeing in this war are even more important than anything that can happen to me or to my family. I begin to think that the world is not a good place even. That if porson die, it is better for that porson than to continue to live in this wicked world. So praps Bullet is now resting in peace as they used to say, and nobody can give him urine to drink or put him in prison and beat him then bury him alive. I think that praps if I die that day when the bombs were falling at Iwoama or even that time it was raining, that I will be happy by now. Because I will not live to see that Chief Birabee and Pastor Barika calling sozas to come and arrest me and put me in prison and kill me because I am enemy soza and because when they have told the sozas about me they will get some rice and stockfish and rag clothes for demself and their family.
But as I was thinking this, I said no. Because anyone who have seen my wife Agnes and J.J.C. must like such good thing. And it is not good for young man to die when he have not enjoyed and he have not done anything that he can show to his children and his mama. And after all the world is very nice place with very many nice things that God have made for enjoyment of man and there is no need for man to die just like that like ant or goat or chicken. So I said that no, I must not die because I have to wait and see the end of the war and become big man with my own car and plenty of money and big house and very very fine things and I will show that Chief Birabee and Pastor Barika pepper because of what they have done to me and all the Dukana men and women who are dying in refugee camp because of hunger and kwashiokor. Nevertheless I can see myself as very rich man with very big belly and walking all over Dukana and everyone will be following me asking me for help to send their picken to school and for money so that they can buy food to eat. And they will be begging me to allow them sweep my house or be apprentice in my lorry or driver. And I will be driving away those that I do not like while I will give some fine things to those that I like and everyone will be talking about me how I am a good man to those who are good and bad to those who are bad.
So I was thinking all these things for some time and I did not speak to the soza prisoner. After now, I looked for him to ask him some question, but he have gone away to another part of the room where he is talking with another prisoner. Then afterwards, he returned. So I asked him where he have gone.
“I think the war is about to end,” he said.
“About to end? How do you know? Are you not in this prison with us? How can you hear something like that?”
“I am old soza, my friend. We know what we know. I am sure that the war will soon end if it have not ended already.”
“Did you hear about it in radio or what?” I asked.
“Do not worry. We know what we know.”
“So what will happen to us?” I asked again.
“I do not know. Praps they will set us free. Praps they will come and kill us all one time. Everything is in the hand of God. Because war is war. Anything can happen.”
So I was happy small because the war will soon end. And I was begging God to not allow those sozas to kill me because I want to find out what have happened to my people. I am sure that if the war end and my people are still alive, they must return home to Dukana. As I was begging God like this, suddenly the door of the prison was opened with loud noise and they asked everybody to go out. I saw that soza prisoner who was talking to me with confidence jump up quick quick and he ran quick quick to the man who have opened the door of the prison with loud noise and he put his hand in his knicker and gave the man something and the man allowed him to go away quick quick as it he is not prisoner again. Shoo!
Meanwhile, the rest of us begin to walk small small as sick man or prisoner concern. There was plenty of noise outside, the noise of gun and ammo which are not very far away and trucks and motors moving and sozas who are running and shouting. In short, everything was confused. The sun was shining inside my eye and I covered my face with my hand. Immediately, one man came and beat my hand down and told me don’t be stupid. He was very tall man and I looked at him well. Immediately, I saw that it is Manmuswak. Yes, it is Manmuswak. It is Manmuswak that I have seen open the door the first time; it is Manmuswak that have taken something from that soza and allowed him to go away and now it is Manmuswak that is beating my hand down and asking me to don’t be stupid. Wonders will never end. Wonders will never end. I think you remember that the first time I saw this Manmuswak is at the African Upwine Bar when he was chopping stockfish and drinking palmy and telling that his friend the short man that he can fight any war if they tell him to fight it. Then the next time he was with enemy at Iwoama giving us drink and cigar before the bomb begin to fall. And the next time he was chooking me injection in that school hospital and using me to make driver of land rover. And now this Manmuswak is again with our own sozas and no longer with enemy sozas. Or abi na which side the man dey now? At first I could not believe my eyes because I cannot understand how this Manmuswak can be fighting on two sides of the same war. Is it possible? Or is it his brother? Or are my eyes deceiving me because I am sick since a long time? Or is it ghost I am seeing? True true my eye cannot deceive me, I am telling you. This man is Manmuswak. I see the way that he is walking and his long legs and coconut head and I am quite sure he is Manmuswak. But if he is Manmuswak then he must remember me because after all I have been his driver for some time.
After he pulled down my hand from my face, he began to shout and say that we are all prisoners and enemy sozas and deserters and he have orders to shoot all of us before the war end and before the enemy reaches our camp. Because there is no food for us to eat and no lorry to take us out of that prison, and after all we are prisoners and he can kill any useless prisoner who is not better than maggot. So I tried to make him know that I am Sozaboy that he have saved in that school hospital. But Manmuswak eye was red like pepper. He does not look at me or listen to me at all and all the time he was just shouting and telling all of us to march forward, left, right, left, right, left, right, halt. So now we all marched forward. No one said even one word. We all marched till we got near the bush. Then he asked all of us to stand in straight line.
When we have all stood in straight line, he walked and stood in front of us. True true, I thought the man was joking. Then he pulled the gun and began to shoot. The prisoners were falling one after the other. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. I close my eye and pray to God that he will take care of my mama and my young wife Agnes. As for myself, well, it is sozaman life to die anytime. But I was fearing. Still, Manmuswak was shooting. And the prisoners were falling. Plenty blood. Plenty blood and plenty shout. Then I heard Manmuswak say, “oh God, no more ammo.” When I heard that, I just opened my eyes. And I saw Manmuswak throw down his gun and then make sign of the cross and run away. Still about two prisoners that he have not killed plus myself.
Immediately, we three just run into the bush.
Lomber Twenty-One
I think you know I was not very strong. So I stopped inside the bush after some time. All the time, I was hearing the sound of gun. And then night come fall. I slept that night like no man business, although many time, I will just wake up thinking that Manmuswak have found ammo and he is coming to look for we three that he have not killed before. Then I will look round and there is no Manmuswak and then I will sleep again. Then when day come broke and I come open my eye well well, no sound of gun again. I was still lying inside the bush because I do not know what have happened. And I am waiting to see whether I will find someone who will tell me something about anything.
As you know, since they catch me for that refugee camp, I do not know anything about anything. But I do not see or hear anybody. All the time, the thing that appeared for my eye is Manmuswak as he was shooting the prisoners standing in line. And all those young men just looking at the gun as Manmuswak is firing. And I am asking myself how the ammo just finish for Manmuswak gun like say someone send am message. And if the ammo did not finish like that, by now I would have already dead, and that will be that.
So I begin to think of all those prisoners that Manmuswak have killed, how all of them are falling down and shouting and no one to bury them. And by now vultures will begin to chook their eyes and to chop them one by one, and ant too plus maggot. Man picken! I don’t think I can forget for the rest of my life how all those men were standing in one line and the bullets just going inside them one by one and they were just falling down on top of each other and all their blood was running together like stream, I think. And how can we know what those people did? Some times they are just innocent people like myself and now they have already dead because of nonsense war. I begin to think that I will go back to that place to see what have happened to all of them. I want to know because sometimes one or two of them have not dead and if possible I can fit to help them.
