The Agents of William Marshal Volume I: A Medieval Romance Bundle, page 53
Bric stood there for a moment, watching her cough and sniffle. “Alexander has already sent word to The Paladin, my lady,” he said. “He did that early this morning.”
She sniffled into the coverlet because she didn’t have a handkerchief. “Then you must tell him right away that I am ill,” she said. “Hurry, please.”
Bric simply quit the chamber without another word, shutting the door behind him. The dog had stood up when Bric entered. He now wandered over to the bed and jumped up on it, settling down at Cadelyn’s feet. She sat in the bed for a minute or two, coughing and rubbing at her sore ear, when there was another knock.
“Come!” she practically shouted.
The door opened yet again and Jude entered followed by Susanna. The innkeeper’s daughter had a tray with her, setting it on the bed so Cadelyn could get to it. Behind Susanna came a wench lugging a bucket of peat and firewood. As the wench began to coax forth the embers in the hearth, Jude went over to help her because she evidently wasn’t doing a good enough job. That left Susanna alone by the bed with Cadelyn.
“Are you not feeling well, Cadie?” Susanna asked quietly.
Cadelyn looked at her in shock. Susanna sounded hoarse and terrible. Her nose was red and even as she looked at Cadelyn, she coughed into her hand.
“Are you ill, too?” Cadelyn asked. “Sweet Mary, Susanna, you should be in bed as well. We are not going anywhere today.”
Susanna sighed heavily and pulled up a chair, plopping down onto it. She was dressed in her usual mail and tunic, with her copper curls braided and draped over one shoulder. She was dressed for travel. But she looked pale and sickly.
“De Sherrington has already sent word to your future husband,” Susanna said. “They will be expecting you.”
Cadelyn stayed firm. “I will not leave today,” she said. “I will not meet the earl and cough in his face. They will have to understand.”
“And if they do not?”
“What can they do? Drag me out of my sick bed?”
Susanna shrugged, coughing into her hand as Jude and the serving wench built up such a blaze in the hearth that it was licking at the wall above it. But glorious heat filled the chamber as Cadelyn went to work on the food Jude had brought her – hot wine with honey, bread and cheese, a hunk of the pork pie and the pea soup from the night before, all warmed-over.
Cadelyn devoured the soup and bread, gave the pie to the dog, and then sipped at the wine because it felt good on her sore throat. She even shared some with Susanna, who took it gratefully. The two of them sat in the now-cloyingly warm chamber, feeling tired and sore, as the dog stretched out over the end of the bed, lying happily on his back with his legs sticking up.
And that was how Kress and Achilles found them.
Kress didn’t even bother to knock. Having been summoned by Bric, as he was out back in the livery with his horse, he came in the rear entrance to the inn and, seeing Achilles with the wounded in the common room, spoke briefly to the man about Cadelyn’s health. Achilles knew nothing about it, so the two of them hastened up to the rented chamber only to find two sick women and a happy dog who was sleeping on a warm bed. But the dog leapt off the bed when he saw Kress, excitedly jumping on him. Kress absently petted the big dog’s head as he came into the chamber, his focus on Cadelyn.
“Bric says you are ill,” he said. “What is the matter?”
Cadelyn was feeling tired now that she’d had all that food and wine. “I am coughing and my ear hurts,” she said. “I cannot travel today but Bric said that word has already been sent on ahead.”
Kress was in his mail and tunic, but without his helm or weapons. His blond beard and golden-blond hair looked glorious in the morning sunshine as he came over to Cadelyn and put his big hand on her forehead. He grunted.
“You are feverish, too,” he said, turning to Susanna. He frowned at her. “Are you ill, also?”
Susanna nodded reluctantly. “I fear that I am.”
Kress pursed his lips, irritably, and shook his head. “Then get out of here and go find a bed somewhere,” he said. “I will tell Sherry we cannot travel today. We can allow you both one day of rest. I think the escort would appreciate that, too, after the day we had yesterday.”
Cadelyn tossed back the covers which, so far, had been up to her neck. “Susanna can get into bed with me,” she said. “No need to put her elsewhere.”
But Kress tossed the coverlet back on her. “Pah,” he said. “You will never get well if Susanna stays with you. You shall keep giving each other the sickness. She will go recover elsewhere. Achilles, go find that woman a bed. Get her out of here.”
Susanna didn’t even protest when Achilles pulled her out of the chair and, subsequently, out of the chamber. When the door shut softly behind them, Cadelyn turned her gaze to Kress.
“She really could have stayed with me,” she said quietly. “It would have been less trouble to take care of us both in the same place.”
Kress shook his head. “If she is in here, I cannot speak with you alone,” he said flatly, removing his gloves and tossing them onto the table. “How do you feel, really?”
Cadelyn smiled as she lay down in the bed, pulling the covers up around her head. “Terrible,” she said. “But wonderful.”
“How’s that?”
“Wonderful because you are here.”
He eyed her before breaking into a weak grin. “There was a time I would tell you not to say such things to me.”
“Has that time passed?”
He lifted his eyebrows, going to sit in the chair that Susanna had occupied. “It should not have,” he said. “But after what happened between us last night…”
He trailed off and Cadelyn rolled onto her side, propping her head up with her hand. She studied him a moment. He seemed more relaxed around her but not particularly happy. There was a glimmer in his eye when he looked at her, but not a spark that told her he was wildly thrilled about all of this.
It wasn’t as if she didn’t know why.
“I think that you are a man with much on his mind,” she said. “Would it be better if we spoke on it?”
He shook his head. “Mayhap. But I am not sure there is anything you can say to me that will ease my dilemma.”
“I can tell you that I shall love you for the rest of your life. Would that help?”
Kress looked at her sharply, his eyes widening. He was out of the seat before he realized he’d moved, already at the door. He put his hand on the latch but didn’t lift it; he simply stood there with his eyes tightly closed.
“Bloody Christ, do not say that to me,” he hissed. “Why did you have to say that to me?”
“Because it is true.”
He opened his eyes, let go of the latch, and whirled to her. “It cannot be true,” he said angrily. “I did not come into this chamber to hear that. I do not want to hear it again.”
Cadelyn was surprisingly calm. “Why not?” she asked. “Could it be because you are feeling the same thing?”
He stared at her and his pallor turned an odd shade of pale. Then, he rushed the bed, sitting on it and grasping her hands tightly. His face was very close to hers, his blue eyes intense.
“It does not matter what I feel,” he said in a hushed tone that was wrought with emotion. “Cadie, I never should have done what I did last night. It cannot happen again.”
Cadelyn could see the torment in his eyes. “I never meant to trick you into doing something you did not want to do,” she said. “I will swear to that, Kress. All I wanted to do was kiss you. That was really all. But the way you clutched me when I did… that was of your own accord. That tells me that you are feeling for me what I feel for you.”
He shook his head, lowering his gaze. “I cannot…”
“Deny it. Look me in the eyes and deny it.”
He didn’t say anything. He kept his head down, looking at their hands, intertwined. After a moment, he spoke. “You know I cannot.”
“I know,” she murmured. “Do not fear, Kress. You shall not fail in your duty. You shall deliver me to Ellesmere as you have been ordered to do. I will not make it difficult for you.”
He lifted his head. But the moment he looked at her, his expression seemed to go slack with sorrow.
“But you do not understand,” he muttered. “I am not sure I can take you to Mountain Dark and just… leave.”
It was a surprising thing to say and her brow furrowed. “But that is your mission. You are obeying orders.”
He lowered his gaze again, his features twisting as if he were thinking very hard about everything. Lifting her hands, he kissed her fingers tenderly.
“I know,” he said. “But I am not sure I can leave you behind. I do not think I can leave you at all. I cannot simply walk away from you, Cadie. Not now.”
She pulled one of her hands free and put it on the top of his head. “What do you intend to do?” she asked. “Serve Ellesmere so you can be near me? Kress, you cannot do that and you know it.”
He kept his head down as she gently caressed his head. “I am not a man familiar with emotion,” he said. “I… I am not even sure how to speak of it. All I can tell you is that something has happened that I have no control over. I am not a man accustomed to fear but, at the moment, I have my share of it.”
Cadelyn had to only hear the tone of his voice to know how upset he was and it greatly concerned her. “Why?” she asked softly, urgently. “I am doing what you want me to do. I am letting you deliver me to Ellesmere so your mission will be successful.”
He shook his head. “It is not that,” he said. “Right now, I have come to the unalterable conclusion that I cannot turn you over to another man.”
Cadelyn understood. It was everything she’d wanted to hear since the beginning, but coming to know Kress, and know his sense of honor, and understand how every knight looked up to him with respect, she was coming to see that failure on his part would result in the loss of respect from his colleagues. It would be the loss of everything he’d worked for, as he’d tried to tell her. Now, she was coming to understand. And for the first time in her life, she was thinking of someone other than herself. Aye, she loved him.
But she couldn’t ruin him.
“Kress, listen to me,” she whispered. “I was not going to tell you this, but I will now. I feel as if I must. I am not going to marry Ellesmere.”
He looked at her, a hint of confusion on his face. “What do you mean?”
She put a hand to his rough cheek. “I told you before that I was going to refuse to marry him and then commit myself to the nearest nunnery,” she said. “I meant it. But I will do it after you leave. If you leave me off at The Paladin and do not escort me to Mountain Dark, it will make this much easier. Once you take me into Wales, I fear my plans will be more difficult.”
He grunted at that plan making a resurgence. Letting go of her hands, he stood up from the bed. “It is not a simple thing in any case,” he said. “Do you know what will happen when you refuse to marry Ellesmere? He will more than likely force you to do it. He has that right, you know. When The Marshal brokered the contract, it gave Ellesmere all rights over you. He can, and probably will, force you.”
“Even if I run away to the nearest church and demand sanctuary?”
“Over what? A betrothal? The church will tell you the same thing – that Ellesmere is, for all intents and purposes, your husband. They will enforce the contract.”
Cadelyn looked at him, struggling against the distress that was clawing at her. She had a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach that was only growing worse.
“I do not want to pull you into my refusal, Kress,” she said, sitting up and swinging her legs over the side of the bed. “I never wanted to marry Ellesmere; you know that. Even before… before what happened between us. My refusal started long before I met you.”
He closed his eyes and turned away, feeling despondency envelop him. “You have no choice,” he said. “But I… I cannot take you to him. I cannot do it.”
She looked at him, realizing the man was somehow giving up or giving in. The strongest knight she had ever seen was surrendering. She blinked away the tears that were threatening.
“What are you saying?” she whispered.
He ended up looking at the wall, the ceiling, because he couldn’t look at her. “I am saying that I am too weak to do it,” he said hoarsely. “I have never felt anything for a woman in my life, at least not like this, and it is the most helpless feeling in the world knowing I can never have you. I feel as if I have been gutted, as if everything in my body is splayed out over the ground and I am hollow. I am hollow because I will never be able to openly love you. Hollow because when you go, you take a piece of me with you. Hollow because I am too weak to hand you over to Ellesmere and watch him marry you, knowing he will be touching you the way only I should be touching you. When the escort leaves for The Paladin tomorrow, I will remain behind with the wounded. Bric will be your shadow, as I have been. He is a good man, Cadie. Please do not let your anger or hurt with me, and with the situation, reflect on him.”
Cadelyn’s tears were spilling over as she stood up from the bed, despondent. “Is there no other way?”
Kress shook his head, hearing in her voice that she was crying even though he couldn’t look at her. “Nay,” he said raggedly. “I assure you, if there was, I would take it.”
She sniffled, wiping at her eyes with her hands. “You will not be viewed poorly by The Marshal for not having personally delivered me to Ellesmere?”
He did look at her, then. “Nay,” he said. “I did my duty. I brought you to Chester. But why would you ask that?”
Her lower lip was trembling as she took a few steps towards him. “Because as much as I want to ask you to run away with me, I will not,” she said, tears coursing down her face faster than she could wipe them away. “You asked me once what I wanted from you – do you know what I wanted? I wanted you to leave everything you have worked for and go away with me, just the two of us. That was what I wanted because I was selfish. But for the first time in my life, I understand what it is to think of someone else before myself and I realize that I could not allow you to shame yourself so. What do I want from you? I want to know that you will find happiness again someday. And I want you to think of me from time to time, fondly, and remember a woman who loved you a great deal. That is all I want.”
Her words cut into him like a dagger. He couldn’t even look at her and not feel like weeping himself. Reaching out, he gently cupped her face, a tender gesture. Cadelyn put her hand on his, turning her head so she could kiss his palm. She did, a few times, before pulling away and returning to the bed. She was so distraught that she collapsed on it, sobbing softly.
“Take Goliath with you when you go,” she wept. “I think you need him more than I do.”
“Nay,” Kress said hoarsely. “He stays with you. I will be greatly comforted knowing that you have him for protection. Please… keep him.”
“Then he shall forever remind me of you.”
Kress’ eyes were stinging with tears as he watched her shoulders heave gently. Knowing there was nothing more to say and that they were dragging out the inevitable, he came up behind her, bent over, and kissed her on the top of the head.
“I love you,” he whispered, inhaling the scent of her hair to keep tucked into his memory. “You will be a fine and strong countess, my lady. Make me proud.”
With that, he turned on his heel and quit the chamber. The last sound he heard was of Cadelyn’s weeping, a sound that would scar him for eternity.
The Paladin
“I am here,” Fabius said as he entered the chamber and shut the door. “What is so important?”
He’d walked into a room on the lower level of The Paladin, one that was mostly used by the servants. They would mend things here, or prepare things, or any number of odd chores. There were items stored in it as well, with bushels of carrots and dried beans shoved into a corner. It smelled like must and earth, a dark and dingy room. But on this day, it also had something else – Atilius and Nesta.
They were lingering together over by one of the slender lancet windows that dotted the lower level of The Paladin, windows used for both ventilation and defense. Fabius made his way over to them, a look of intense curiosity on his face.
“What is it?” he demanded, looking between them. “What has happened?”
Atilius held up a neatly folded piece of parchment with a wax seal on it. The seal had been broken.
“Cadelyn has arrived,” he said. “This missive just came from her escort, meant for Tatius, but I happened to be in the gatehouse when it arrived.”
Fabius’ eyes widened as he took the missive from his brother to look at the careful writing on it. “Where is she?” he said, slowly reading the first few words because he was a poor reader. “Does it say?”
Atilius nodded. “She is in Longton,” he said. “It does not say where they have stopped, but there is only one real tavern of note there, The Crown and Anchor Inn, so I will assume the party stopped there.”
Fabius was still reading the missive, word-by-word. “And they are bringing her to The Paladin?”
Atilius shrugged. “I would assume so,” he said. “But they did not say when, which is why I have summoned Nesta. She believes we should go to Cadelyn and escort her to The Paladin and then on to Mountain Dark.”
Fabius glanced up from the missive to see the blonde-haired woman nodding. “She is a princess of two kingdoms,” she said. “She deserves an escort of her own people, welcoming her back to Wales.”
Fabius returned his focus to the yellowed parchment. “Then we are going to greet her?” he said. “What does Tatius say?”
“Tatius does not know,” Atilius said. “I have not told him. You know how ambivalent he is to all of this. We shall go and meet the lady and bring her back here. Then we shall escort her and Tatius to Mountain Dark, where they shall be married.”
“My people are already there, waiting,” Nesta said. “This is a great moment. To finally have my daughter back where she belongs shall be a great inspiration for them. We have been anticipating this moment for quite some time and there must not be any delays or interference. We already have loyal men in Conwy, the first large city we intend to take, and all they require is the sight of my daughter to rally them to the cause. From Conwy, we shall move on Bangor and control access to Anglesey. In reward for your assistance, I shall cede all of Anglesey to the House of de Shera.”
