The Agents of William Marshal Volume I: A Medieval Romance Bundle, page 106
It was a nightmare without end.
In truth, he didn’t even care about his failures as a knight anymore. He didn’t care about the shame he surely caused his family, or the disappointment of William Marshal, or the anger of King John. None of those things mattered to him. The only thing that mattered was that he would never again hear Teodora’s voice, or see her smile, or listen to her become angry over something minor. Those thoughts always brought a smile to his lips, how she could become angry at the slightest thing. And the night she’d pretend to jump from the window brought the most humor from him, mostly because he’d fallen for her dramatics. She’d been good at dramatics.
God, he missed that so terribly.
Odd how someone he’d known such a short amount of time could have left such a mark upon him. It was a mark that was etched into his heart, as surely as the stars were etched into the heavens. He could never separate himself from it because it was part of him. No matter how long he lived, he would love her as he did now until the day he died.
That would never change.
He also discovered something else as he and Regal had ridden northward. He’d taken the old woman with him because he couldn’t bear to part with his one and only link to Teodora. But he’d soon discovered that seeing the grandmother of his beloved was a daily reminder of what he’d lost rather than the comfort he’d hoped she would bring.
Regal had been surprisingly quiet on the journey, which made her a rather ideal traveling partner, but Cullen could tell that the old woman was hurting, too. He could see it in her face. When he’d told her of Teodora’s death, the old woman had done nothing more than close her eyes and pray, and she’d strangely had little to say about it. When Cullen told her that they were traveling north to escape the wrath of King John, Regal made absolutely no mention of wanting to return to Cerenbeau Castle. Cullen was coming to think that the woman thought he needed her somehow, which he did.
For now, he did.
A link to everything he’d lost.
And now, almost three weeks later, they found themselves in Geddington, a bustling burgh with more than its share of taverns along the main thoroughfare. The Star and the Cross, The White Stag, and The Dirty Oak were just a few of them. While Cullen went to the castle, he wanted to settle Regal into one of them, and he picked The Dirty Oak because it seemed less crowded than the others.
He soon found out why. It was much better kept and more expensive than the others, catering to a more discriminating clientele. Digging into his purse and pulling forth a precious coin, he paid it to the innkeeper, who promptly brought forth a meal for Regal that was fit for a king.
The old woman was presented with bird pie, cheese, bread, a pea pottage, and a true delicacy – sweetcakes made from lemon and honey. Lemon was rare and the innkeeper made a point of telling Cullen that he’d had two trees brought all the way from Italy. One tree had been stolen straight out of the ground, but he’d managed to keep the second one and it had thrived. Lemons were worth a good deal of money and he was very proud of his fruit.
With Regal in good hands and eating away, Cullen slipped from the tavern and took care of his horse. The animal ended up in the livery across the road having a fine meal for himself. With the horse munching away, Cullen headed for the castle. The main avenue through Geddington was quite busy, but he didn’t pay much attention to the people moving about their business. He was more concerned with the castle that dominated the skyline, and he was particularly interested in getting a close look at the waterway system.
In fact, he was feeling some hope that Godfrey’s cousin might take him in, and he and Regal would find a place to stay for a time. But those hopes were dashed when a group of riders came barreling out of the gatehouse, heading straight into town.
Immediately, people began to scream and scatter because the soldiers on horseback had no intention of slowing down. One man was nearly too slow and although he was knocked to the ground, he retained his life. Curious, not to mention somewhat concerned at such reckless behavior, Cullen sank back into an alleyway between two homes, watching as the group of soldiers charged past him, thundering toward the center of town.
And then, he saw it.
The white tunics with the blue shield. He’d seen those before, several times in London and at Westminster, because they belonged to the Earl of Rockingham. He’d seen those same tunics on Barric Fitz Hammond’s soldiers. Now quite curious, he stayed out of sight as he made his way up to the castle, wondering if the Fitz Hammond soldiers had been tipped off by a certain knight named Sudeley and were now looking for Cullen de Nerra, an enemy of the king.
Cullen wouldn’t have been at all surprised.
As he stood in another alleyway right at the end of the village, looking at the series of moats and ponds around the exterior of Geddington Castle, it began to occur to him that any doubt he’d ever had that Godfrey and Hamilton were loyal to the king had just been summarily dashed. He didn’t know why he was surprised by any of this. In fact, he was coming to feel rather foolish that he’d listened to Godfrey when the man was only setting him up. Perhaps he hadn’t taken him to the king the last time they saw each other, but he was making amends for that now.
Geddington was crawling with Rockingham soldiers.
Clearly, they were looking for the man who had murdered their liege and with the greatest disgust, Cullen turned away from that intriguing castle and made his way back to the tavern where Regal was. He’d hoped the old woman had eaten her fill because they were going to have to leave quickly. He didn’t want to chance being caught by Rockingham men.
He was far more cautious on his return to the tavern, making sure the avenue was clear of soldiers before leaving the alley and crossing over to the inn where Regal was. Even when he entered it, he was much more cautious than he had been the first time because he didn’t want to be surprised by Rockingham soldiers lurking inside.
Fortunately, it was still fairly vacant, with only a few well-dressed travelers inhabiting the common room. Regal was still where he left her, sitting over by the hearth, stuffing her face with the food she’d been given.
Cullen approached the table and as he did, Regal’s head turned in his direction. Having traveled with the man for almost three weeks, she knew the sound of his footsteps and the smell of his musk.
“Well?” she said, her mouth full of bread. “Did you see all you wished to see?”
Cullen looked around the room, almost nervously, before taking a seat. There was a veritable feast spread out before him and he figured he might as well eat some of it before they had to rush out. He wasn’t sure when they would eat again, so he took the dull knife that had been brought with the bread and used it to scoop out great bites of the bird pie.
“I saw enough,” he muttered, mouth full. “Rockingham men are all over the castle, so we cannot go there. It is quite possible they are there looking for me.”
Regal swallowed the bite in her mouth. “Rockingham,” she repeated. “That is Fitz Hammond.”
Cullen shoved more pie in his mouth. “Aye,” he said, chewing. “I think my man Godfrey betrayed me. In truth, I am not surprised. I should not have taken his offer when he told me to come to Geddington Castle, to his cousin, and seek a position. The man is loyal to John and I should have known he would send Rockingham troops here to wait for me.”
Regal was silent a moment as he continued to shovel food into his mouth. “Godfrey is not the one who took my Teddy to her death.”
“Nay,” Cullen said as he started in on the bread and cheese. “That was Hamilton Banbury.”
“But both of those men are under the king’s thumb.”
Cullen slowed his furious eating to look at the woman. She wasn’t eating any longer, but simply sitting there, her milky eyes staring off into space. She’d been so calm, so even tempered during their travels, that sometimes he forgot that he wasn’t the only one burdened with grief.
“It is my belief that they are,” he said, more gently. “Regal, I know I have not spoken much beyond what I told you of Teddy’s… passing, but there are politics involved in the situation that overshadow the right and the good of it. Everyone is in danger from John and your granddaughter most of all, but I did not realize it until it was too late. I hope that you find it within your heart to forgive me for such failings. There is no excuse for my ruin.”
Regal didn’t say anything, but her hands were moving to the wine pitcher. She poured a sloppy cup and thrust it at Cullen, who took it.
“Drink it,” she said. “It helps.”
Cullen looked at the red liquid. “If I thought it would make everything go away, I would drown myself in it.”
Regal picked up her spoon and resumed eating, but much slower. “You are correct on one thing,” she said. “You have not told me much beyond Teddy’s passing. I’ve not brought it up to you because I know how devastated you are. I can hear it in every word you speak, Cullen. I do not have to have eyes to see how badly you are grieving for her.”
Cullen didn’t really want to talk about it. He didn’t want to talk about his sweet Teodora, who was now in a crypt somewhere, lying in the cold and in the dark. His last vision of her at the window of the king’s chamber haunted him, the very last sight he had of her was of her smiling at him as he climbed into the window. She’d been feisty with him and he’d loved it. But then it had all ended and he didn’t think he’d ever recover from the swiftness of the loss. Nay, he didn’t want to talk about it, but out of respect for the old woman, he would.
No matter how badly it hurt.
“You lost your Robert years ago,” he said. “Mayhap, I now have a small understanding of what you went through. I suspect if anyone knows what I am feeling, it is you.”
Reaching out her bird-like hand, she patted his meaty mitt. “All I can tell you is that you learn to live with the pain,” she said. “It never goes away. There are times when I think of Robert and tears still come. I long for what we had, and what never was. I long for the life I wish we’d had together. Henry ruined that for me just as his son ruined it for you. They both took something precious that we loved.”
That statement made Cullen drain the cup of wine and pour himself more. “In my case, I am coming to realize it could have been prevented.”
“How?”
He gulped down half of the cup in his hand. “I could have not let her go to the feast that night,” he said. “I knew the king was going to be in attendance but I also knew hundreds of other women would be there, too. I thought it would provide enough of a distraction for him that he would not notice Teddy. But Teddy… she was very excited about attending her first feast. I could not have denied her the opportunity and I should have. I should have been smarter about it.”
Regal sighed faintly. “John would have seen her, eventually,” he said. “My Teddy was so beautiful that she could outshine the sun. You could not have concealed that beauty forever.”
“I should have tried. God, I should have tried.”
Regal could hear the anguish in his voice and thought it best not to continue the conversation, lest he become too distraught. There was evidently danger in town and he needed all of his concentration to figure out what they were going to do now. They’d made it to their destination only to see that it wasn’t safe. Not strangely, Regal felt protective over the strong young knight who had loved her granddaughter so. She had to help him as much as she could.
“Life is full of regrets, sweetheart,” she said, patting his hand one last time before returning to her food. “You will always have this one, I am afraid, but you will learn to live with it. Now, let us finish this beautiful meal and vacate this town that is crawling with Rockingham men. It would not do for them to find you. I would have to fight them.”
In spite of his gloomy mood, Cullen grinned. “Would you?”
She nodded firmly. “You think you are the only one who can handle a sword? Give me one and I will show you what I can do with it. But be advised that I cannot pick and choose my targets, so stay well out of the way unless you want to be cut down.”
Cullen laughed softly. “Not to worry,” he said. “I will handle the sword for now. Hurry, now; eat so we can be on our way.”
Regal did, and between she and Cullen, they cleared the table of everything edible. When the pie was gone and there was nothing but crumbs left on the table, Cullen bundled her up and took her across the road to the stables, where his fat horse was taking a bit of a nap. Soon enough, however, the horse was loaded up with his saddle, his master, and an old woman, and the three of them slipped from Geddington as if they’d never been there. They headed north, toward Blackthorn Forest, hoping to hide in the trees until they figured out where to go.
It was a decision that would change their lives, more than they could ever realize.
Blackthorn Forest
Densely packed trees and an occasional clearing marked Cullen and Regal’s journey into the vast wilderness known as Blackthorn Forest.
Cullen was somewhat familiar with the area, as the House of de Winter, a great and noble family, was lord over most of the area to the east and he’d traveled to their lands a few times in the course of his duties. He knew that there was a town off to the east from their present location, but he wanted to avoid towns at the moment, especially if Rockingham men were looking for him.
They had to go north.
Cullen knew there was a long stretch of road that went all the way north to Lincoln, bypassing Nottingham and Leicester, towns he wanted to avoid because of the king’s heavy presence there. He wasn’t entirely certain about Lincoln Castle, for that was garrisoned for the king last he’d heard. But the more they plodded along on that dark road amongst the dark and lonely trees, the more he thought that, perhaps, Scotland might be a good destination for him.
It wasn’t a sudden decision, in fact. He’d been toying with it since they’d left London, pondering the reality of serving the Scottish king who didn’t like John very much. In fact, William the Lion, King of the Scots, had been in on an assassination plot against John years ago, so the Scots were always looking for English knights to help them fight against John, among others. Since John had made himself an enemy, Cullen didn’t have any reservations in fighting against the man. William Marshal might disagree, but Cullen had to make a living someway.
Perhaps Scotland was the answer.
It was growing late and he could hear the owls in the trees, searching in the night for their meals. There were three of them in different trees, hooting at each other, and he glanced back at Regal, who was riding on his warhorse, asleep even though she was sitting straight up. He had no idea how she hadn’t fallen off yet, so he took pity on the woman and directed the horse off the road and into the concealing shelter of some trees.
It was dank and icy in the forest as he reined the horse to a halt. Tying the beast off on the nearest tree, he tapped Regal on the arm, twice, before she finally stirred.
“Well?” she demanded, groggily. “Have we arrived?”
Cullen reached up and pulled the old woman off the horse. She always felt so fragile in his hands, as if he squeezed too hard that he would break a bone, but she was tougher than he gave her credit for. She’d endured quite a bit over the past three weeks. As he set her on her feet, she shuffled off, stumbling through the bramble. Cullen kept an eye on her as he removed his saddlebags and unsaddled the horse.
“Do not stray,” he told her. “It is so dark, I would not be able to find you until morning. Regal? Do you hear me?”
She was off behind a tree. “Can a body not have business to attend to that is solely her own?” she demanded. “Do you think I am stupid?”
Cullen grinned, knowing she was reliving herself over in the bushes. He put the saddle to the ground, using the saddle blanket to wipe down the horse for the night as the animal already began chomping on the thick, green grass around him. Cullen could smell water, so he assumed a stream was nearby so he could water the beast.
“I dare not start a fire, so I apologize if you are cold this night,” he said. “I have a cloak you can cover yourself with. In the morning, we’ll see if we can find a tavern and a hot meal.”
Finished with her business, Regal emerged from behind the tree, her hands out in front of her as she shuffled back in his general direction.
“I’ve known worse,” she said. “I’ve slept on dirt, grass, and in beds filled with vermin, so sleeping in the cold tonight won’t be something I haven’t done before.”
She was wandering near him and he reached out, grasping her by the wrist to pull her over in his direction. As he moved, he swiped his heavy cloak from a saddlebag.
“There is a big patch of fat grass right here,” he said, directing her over to it. “It should make a fine bed for the night.”
He put the cloak down, spreading it out, and gently pushed Regal onto it. She moved around on it, getting comfortable.
“You are a fine man to tend to an old woman so,” she said. “Whatever you may think about your failings, know that a true man shows his character in the smallest actions. In this case, it is taking care of an old woman. That shows that you are a truly noble man.”
Cullen watched her as she settled down on the cloak. “There was never any question about taking you with me,” he said. “I could not leave you behind. God only knows what would have become of you.”
Regal lay down with a sigh of contentment. “So you saddle yourself with an old crone,” she said. “Why not return me to Cerenbeau? You can, you know.”
Cullen’s mood subdued. “If you wanted to go home, you could have asked me that when we first left London. We’ve been traveling for three weeks and you’ve not mentioned a word about it.”
“That is because I think you need me right now,” she said frankly. “But I wanted you to know that if you choose to take me back to Cerenbeau, I will go quietly.”
Cullen didn’t say anything for a moment. He was pondering her statement, still feeling very strongly that he didn’t want to take her home. But he couldn’t quite figure out if she wanted to go home or if she was just telling him what he wanted to hear. He began to unstrap the sheath at his waist.
