Self Studies: The Thorns of Charbon Institute, page 25
I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to struggle as Ram lifted me. But I couldn’t move. He stuffed my folded-over form into a plain black suitcase. Tears ran around the ball gag as they zipped me in.
The click of a metal lock sealed my fate.
My world became the bumps of cobbled flooring and the uneven rolling of wheels, struggling with the weight of a human instead of clothing. The suitcase lost contact with the ground, and my stomach rolled. I dangled for a moment before, with a thud, the wheels connected with the cobblestones once more.
“Gentle, Ram,” Advisor Crowe’s muffled voice said. “I know I said you could retrain her, but until we are through the portal and hidden from the MA, we must tread with caution.”
I started panting around the ball gag. Sweat ran down my face, and pain shot up my back from my folded position. I wriggled my ankles and wrists. But the zip ties only cut further into my skin, filling the suitcase with a metallic scent.
“Be still,” Ram commanded. He kicked the side of the suitcase, and his foot connected with my lower back. I choked on the gag. Closing my eyes, I tried to sink into my mage-trance. Anything to separate from what was happening, but it wouldn’t come. My magic simmered and moved unhappily under the suppression of the clasps.
“Ram, take us with you.” A feminine voice cut through my panic.
“Help!” I tried to yell, but only a muffled cry came out through the gag.
“Is there someone in the suitcase?” The same voice asked.
“None of your business, Alexa,” Ram commanded. “Do what I told you.”
The woman didn’t speak up again.
The floor began bumping under me once more. Whoever pulled me along slowed. Goosebumps spread over my arms and legs. Pleasant tingles zinged through my system as pulsing magic changed some of my pain receptors to pleasure. I bucked unhappily at the mix of signals.
“What?” Advisor Crowe’s voice exclaimed.
Suddenly lights, so bright they shown through the zipper, left spots in my vision. The brightness dimmed, and I found myself mostly sitting up and still.
“There was no scheduled arrival,” Advisor Crowe’s voice bellowed. “Present your paperwork and identification immediately.”
The sound of low voices and shuffling reached my ears.
“Stay quiet,” Ram whispered harshly before his footsteps went off in the opposite direction.
I strained to hear what was happening—the sound of a beeping tablet and more rustling. A few heavy footsteps stopped somewhere near me.
“I should be asking you the same thing,” I made out another male voice. “I would like to see your paperwork. Inmates, even voluntary ones, cannot leave the premises unless escorted by the MA or an exception has been granted.”
Closing my eyes, I forced myself to take one shaky breath through my nose then another. I didn’t want this. Ram, Advisor Crowe, I didn’t need to obey either of them. They’d zipped me up in a suitcase and were kidnapping me! Professor Garnet’s words echoed in my head: You must be your first ally. Care about yourself first, Aphy.
I couldn’t keep letting things happen to me.
“Help!” I screamed around the ball gag and started thrashing back and forth.
With a thump, the suitcase fell on its side. I groaned but called out again and again. It didn’t even sound like the word help, but I tried. Suddenly magic and the violent thump of fists hitting bodies blended in with my attempts at freedom. Blood dripped down my hands and ankles. It smeared on the clothing surrounding me and filled my nose with a metallic scent. I redoubled my screams and hit my head against the inside of the suitcase over and over.
Time became meaningless. My movement grew weaker as I quickly ran out of energy. Out of the darkness of my suitcase, the misty black copy of myself opened its blood-red gaze. I stilled, but new fear didn’t seize my heart. My copy smiled, and I suddenly knew if I pushed my will out, all of this would stop.
Before I could act, the zipper around me tore open. Light burned away the dark mist, and my copy vanished from my imagination. I blinked, trying to adjust to the change in light. The blurry body in front of me cut the ball gag off my head, and I jerked. With it out of my mouth, I started shrieking and struggled against the hands pulling me out of the suitcase. They didn’t release me. The sound of metal handcuffs clicked against my clasps, before strong arms crushed me against a firm chest.
I could feel more than hear his words. “I’ve got you. You’re ok. Scream if you need to. Cry if you need to. You’re safe now.”
My screaming cut off. Short, fast breaths that didn’t give me much air took their place. I managed to slow down my panic as the room came into focus. Like a toy, my legs and arms sprang apart when he cut away the zip-ties. Pins and needles flooded my extremities. I moaned in pain and relief as the man shifted me awkwardly in his arms. His handcuffs dug into my skin.
“God damn it, Johnson. Stop staring like an idiot and do your fucking job,” he barked.
I took another shuddering breath and looked around the room. Advisor Crowe’s body still smoked where it lay deathly still on the ground. Alexa and another female student lay as motionless on either side of him. A third groaned and tried to sit up.
I didn’t see Ram anywhere.
“Focus on me,” the man said.
My head started pounding. I brought a shaking hand to my temple and tried to do as he asked. The man’s darkly tanned skin glowed under his shaggy, dark brown, ducktail beard. Unrimmed gray eyes studied me under steeply pointed eyebrows. A scar ran through the left one like a jagged lightning bolt. Long, slightly curly, shaggy hair framed his face.
I reached up and twirled some of it between my fingers. “I had long hair.”
“What happened?” the man asked. “Who are you?”
My heart broke. “I don’t even know anymore.”
I burst into tears as everything hit me at once. He pulled me back into his chest and rocked me like a child.
Chapter 13
I bounced excitedly in front of my Shell – what I’d decided to call the stone dome covering my bed. Sandy giggled, and Roisin shook her head.
“And charge the ones inside too?” I asked, gesturing toward runes they couldn’t see.
“Ba-Jesus,” Roisin said dramatically. “It’s like realizing you can ask for help has changed your personality.”
I nodded and looked expectantly at Sandy. I loved Roisin, but her magic was internal only and couldn’t charge anything.
Roisin’s eye twitched. “You’ve got to learn to say please.”
“I’d be happy too!” Sandy exclaimed, following me into my Shell. “Though I’m running out of juice.”
I nodded. A piece of me wished I could transfer into her so she could use mine, but that wouldn't be right.
I scratched at the skin around my clasps while Sandy filled my runes with magic. My Shell now had a small, retractable window so Roisin and I could see each other at night. It also had its own lighting and air circulation system. However, I’d not figured out how to adjust its size.
After my ordeal, the administration gave me a few days off classes. I’d spent them taking out my anger and frustration on my Shell, carving it into exactly what I wanted.
I’d destroyed my little dresser. A series of ugly shelves stuck out of the wall above my bed, and a makeshift chest rested at the end. Roisin let me know, after the fact, the dresser had a built-in washing spell which kept my uniforms clean. I would need help reinstalling that. But it was a start.
“Are you ready to go back to classes?” Roisin asked, leaning against my doorway.
Sandy and I sat on the edge of my bed, looking past Roisin at my lovely view of the washroom door.
I frowned. “I guess.”
I hadn’t been the first student Advisor Crowe had taken out of the Institute. He had records of abductions dating back over a decade. The MA was furious this had gone on under Director Fleming’s nose, and an investigation had already begun.
I’d been lucky he’d made so many mistakes in his desperation to get a hold of me. Even more fortunate the MA had been transporting a new student at that moment. If they hadn’t, I’d be trapped somewhere with Ram ‘retraining’ me.
The thought made me sick to my stomach.
Advisor Crowe's little speech left me questioning how bad the split between Natural and Rimmed Mages really was and how I fit into that. I wasn’t a Rimmed Mage or a Natural Mage. I was something else. Something I was still figuring out.
I hugged myself.
Ram still roamed the halls, though the administration downgraded him to pink slip status. The MA hadn’t even seen him when they came through the portal. In the end, it had been his word against mine. The Institute’s security feeds went down before Ram found me in the library. There was no proof of his involvement—just a lot of suspicion.
I clenched my fists. That asshole abandoned both his mentor and the women in his harem. Although only Alexa died in the fight, the other two didn’t survive long. The MA questioned them about their side of the story. Loyal to Ram to the end, the MA labeled them as evil and executed them.
I unclenched my fists, and a shiver ran up my spine.
“Hey, snap out of it,” Roisin said.
She threw a pencil at me, and Sandy slipped her arm around my waist. I let my head rest on my friend’s shoulder.
I’d woken up in the medical wing, this time with Sandy and Roisin by my side. For the last three days, with administrative approval, the two had stayed with me. They even brought me food, so I didn’t have to leave my Shell.
“Thank you,” I mumbled. “I don’t know what I would have done without you two.”
“You would have shacked up with Beryl,” Roisin said. “I know the truth of it.”
I looked at one of the shelves which now had a stuffed turtle watching over me. Two knitted wings flowed majestically from where Roisin had attached them to its shell. I can’t fix any of this, Beryl’s note had read. I didn’t sell Ram those gadgets. I’d no idea Advisor Crowe was taking students. No one did. Forgive me or not, believe me, or not, feel better, my Goddess.
“Maybe,” I answered Roisin’s playful words with a lie.
Beryl the Boyfriend wasn’t so much anymore. Even more, now the MA was here actively looking for people in the wrong, he’d take a step back from me so he wouldn’t negatively impact my life in any way. He even answered my texts with stupid puns and jokes which had nothing to do with the text I sent him.
It was infuriating but also very Beryl.
Although I’d tried to go to Professor Garnet, he didn't have a moment between the MA and his administrative duties. None of the teachers were even holding office hours. With our relationship frowned upon, I didn’t want to get him into any more trouble. So I left it. Director Fleming promised me my tutoring with Professor Garnet would continue once things calmed down. I needed to be patient.
I blew out a breath. Patience wasn’t something I was good at, especially now I had my own wants. Why did the men in my life all have to be so complicated?
“At least Mercedes is leaving you alone,” Roisin said when I’d sat thinking for a bit too long.
My roommate smiled at me, trying to pull me out of the black funk that had, once again, settled over my shoulders.
“Yeah, but only because Saffron’s been glued to her hip since Yasmine ratted out Professor Garnet’s plan,” Sandy pointed out. “If she were a normal student and not the daughter of Lord Howel, she’d probably be a pink slip by now. But even in here, money rules the world. I wonder how they’ve factored her into the Aptitudes.”
“Why would being rich change her Aptitudes?” I asked.
Roisin’s eyes widened. “It’s not her being rich, it’s her situation. She’s here for Saffron, their, ah. Never mind. Let’s talk about this when you're in a better state of mind.”
I opened my mouth, ready to wring whatever Roisin was going to say out of her, but a knock sounded on our door.
Roisin quickly answered it. “Um, yummy, I’m guessing you’re here for Mercedes? She’s in Saffron’s harem, FYI, and not physically here at the moment.”
“No,” a male voice rumbled. “I’m not here for a fucking car. Is Aphrodite in?”
My eyes narrowed. I recognized the voice. Slowly, I peeked out of my Shell. The new arrival towered over Roisin, which wasn’t hard to do as she was an inch shorter than me even. The ruggedly handsome face who pulled me out of the suitcase looked past my roommate to find my gaze.
“I’m not supposed to talk to the MA without Doctor Roy present,” I said, starting to pull back into my Shell.
“Wait, Aphrodite,” the man said, his expression lost in his facial hair. “I’m not fucking MA. I was the transfer.”
I wrung my hands. The feel of handcuffs digging into my skin conflicted with my memories of him barking orders.
“Look,” the man continued. “I wanted to make sure you’re healing. I pulled your fucking bloody body out of a suitcase, screaming. The word is, you’ve not left your room in three shitty days.”
I didn’t want to admit it, and my lack of response was all the answer he needed.
He scrubbed his hand through his long thick hair, frizzing it. “Would you be willing to fucking walk with me? Please?”
I swallowed, glancing at the blue sky through the window. I looked at Roisin’s tight lips. Her gaze burned into me, letting me know if I didn’t go, she wasn’t chilling in the room with me while I indulged in more self-pity. I wasn’t getting anything else out of her.
I didn’t look at the man. “I want to walk the barrier. If I don’t want to talk, I don’t have to.”
The man relaxed slightly. “Shit yes, deal.”
I let out an annoyed breath. “Give me five minutes.”
Roisin closed the door in his face.
It took me more than five minutes to clean up a bit and straighten my uniform. Taking a deep breath, I studied my short hair with the Viking braids in the mirror. The petite black piercing at the top of my ear made me look so much tougher than I felt.
I swallowed. I’d lived, and I wanted more. I wanted real freedom. Not from the MA, but from my fears which almost dragged me into my old life. I needed to learn control, but I’d become almost desperate to use my magic over the last three days. Twice I’d used it before the clasps, and, right or wrong, it belonged to me. I wasn’t a vessel. Like Professor Garnet said, I was something more. I wanted to learn who that person was and love her.
I opened my door. The man stood across the hall. Shoulders back with his legs slightly parted, his confident posture looked painfully ridged. His skinny white tie dangled comically across his built chest. I remembered my face pressed into that same chest after coming out of the suitcase. Heat filled my cheeks. I itched to hide in my hood, but the garment sat in pieces wherever the Institute took its trash.
I closed the door behind me and moved to the middle of the hall. “So, what’s your name?”
He stepped forward, joining me, and held out his hand. “Marcus Ashe.”
My gaze drifted to the floor, and I forced it up. Slowly, I took his hand and held his gray unrimmed eyes.
“My friends call me Ashe,” he added.
We released our grips.
“My friends call me A.” I paused. After a moment, I added. “Or at least, they will be starting today. Thank you for saving my life.”
An almost shy smile twitched Ashe’s lips up. He didn’t fidget like Beryl. He didn’t judge me like Saffron. His eyes weren’t full of the admiration I’d come to find in Professor Garnet’s gaze. He was another student, lost like I’d been when I first arrived. I fingered my clasps. He would keep me safe. I could feel it.
Slowly, I guided him out of the building and toward the wall that kept the Institute separated from the world.
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Thank you so much for reading!
Aphrodite’s story will continue in Group Studies, The Thorns of Charbon Institute book two.
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Acknowledgments
I need to take a moment to thank my cat. Her constant need for snuggles keeps me seated for long stretches of time, thus requiring a sedate hobby, leading me to typing combinations of words on a page that hopefully make sense.
Oh, right, people. None of this would be possible without my early readers, especially Janete Lawson, Tory Suehs, Jessica Jones, and Chandler Koury. It’s through others’ eyes and feedback that I improve, not just my writing, but my talents as a cat bed.
Special thanks to my editors, Amelia K Oliver and Eileen Troemel. To my fabulous cover designer, Natasha at DAZED Designs, and Art & Illustration by Nick Burgoyne, who did my chapter header.
Last, I need to thank my husband, who has not thrown my cat or her human cat bed out the window. Yet....
About the Author
Currently living in England, Kate Messick is married with three cats and two degrees in classical music. She enjoys everything clarinet, lifting weights, reading, playing games, and traveling.
From a young age, Kate’s dad read all sorts of fantasy books aloud to his daughters. Eventually, she figured out this reading stuff on her own and found her insatiable hunger for dragons and stories only grew with the years.
Living an exciting life, Kate is never afraid to reach for the stars. She founded the Symphonic Anime Orchestra and traveled with her music all over the US. Over the years, Kate has collected a diverse resume working in education, road construction, spinal technician, data mining, security escort, and more. Her life philosophy: Life is short; never be afraid to spice it up.
