Self Studies: The Thorns of Charbon Institute, page 12
“Squeeze me, baby, milk me with everything you’ve got.” Beryl’s voice blended with the sound of our bodies and my orgasmic whimper.
“Shit, yes,” he grunted, swelling inside of me.
His fingers, still tapping my clit, grew erratic, and a smaller second wave of pleasure rippled from my core. I shoved my fingers in my mouth to stop from screaming.
Blinking in the aftermath, I sat for a minute, enjoying the feeling of being filled. Enjoying Beryl. He traced a circle on my backside. Little shivers kissed in the wake of his movements. Slowly, I slipped off of him and found my way into his arms. “Did you climax?”
Beryl grunted. “You didn’t feel it?”
“I did; I wanted to be sure.”
I studied the brown bedding we’d not bothered to get under.
Beryl shifted and kissed me hard. “You’re not responsible for any part of my pleasure, Dot. You’re not a slave. Let me take care of you.”
I wrinkled my nose and squirmed. Instead of dealing with the mix of warmth and discomfort that flooded me, I focused on what he’d said while we’d been at it.
“Milk me,” I mimicked with a giggle.
A flush immediately stained his dark cheeks.
“A man can’t be held responsible for the things he says in the middle of incredibly hot sex with his goddess.”
He captured my lips and squeezed my butt.
I kissed him back with everything I had. “Thank you, again, for rescuing me.” I leaned my head against his bare chest. “Why are you being so nice to me?”
Beryl chuckled. “You’re hot, powerful, and boarding the beef bus. Why wouldn’t I be nice to you?”
I lifted my head and poked him in the chest. “Really.”
Beryl captured my hand, his features darkening. The room grew so still, I could’ve heard a pin drop.
Instead of making a joke, he pulled me into his chest. “You ran from me, and I followed you. I don’t even know why.” His heart raced. “I’ve not had it easy, but when you cried in my arms by the barrier. I didn’t know emotions could run that deep.”
I wrapped my arms around him, suddenly unsure who was comforting who.
His chest rumbled with his words. “Something snapped inside me. I’ve just existed, doing the same things over and over, day in and day out.” The warmth of his arms left me as he cupped my cheek. My world became his sapphire gaze. “If you can experience pain like that. You can experience the good stuff too.”
A tear leaked out of my eye, trailing down my cheek to spill onto his hand. Without knowing anything about me, Beryl somehow got me. We were two lost souls, and we both knew it.
He released my face to squeeze my ass again. “I didn’t think you’d be in the mood for this.”
I wiped the tear off my cheek and grinned at him. “Stop. I wanted you. I don’t want my memory of today to be the people who attacked me.”
Beryl frowned, laying down and pulling me under his arm. “Dot, what happened to you before you got here?”
I pressed my ear against his chest, focusing on his heartbeat and wishing I didn’t understand his question. “I lived. I don’t have a story.” I began softly. “Damon was my mom and my dad. He taught me how to use the toilet, and he read with me every night. It was mostly textbooks, even as a child, but he still loved me in his own way. Even when he…” I trailed off, my stomach twisted. “I know he groomed me to be his slave. I know he’s probably the reason I can’t use my magic and have gaping holes in my knowledge of the world.” I paused, feeling stupid, but I kept talking anyway. “I didn’t question it or my life because I never needed to. He always had all the answers.”
Beryl squeezed me to him.
“After he…” I tried again but failed, still unable to voice what I’d gone through. “At thirteen, I had my one rebellious streak, and I fell trying to get out my window to run away. I landed in a big square trash can filled with rotting meats and feral cats. They scratched me up before a homeless man fished me out and stole the few bucks I’d managed to scrounge together to escape with.” I bit my bottom lip. “Needless to say, I didn’t get very far. Damon let me know how much happier I’d be if I stayed with him and did as told.” I sighed. “And I was, until I learned that I wasn’t.” I tried to lighten the mood. “Despite my beast being a dragon, I’m not full of courage.”
Beryl squeezed me again. “Courage is living through all of that. It’s not just for white dudes in suits of armor.” He had his head resting on his bent elbow behind his back. “My family didn’t have much. The minute things went south; they gave me to the MA. They were only human, and I turned into a magical terror. It took courage for them to put me where I belonged.”
“Beryl, you don’t belong here any more than me,” I said, knowing it in my heart.
“You’ve no idea, Dot,” Beryl squeezed his eyes shut.
I opened my mouth to ask him more or reassure him or something, but before I could continue, he rolled us and started mercilessly tickling me. I screeched like a banshee and wiggled out of his grasp.
It took me a moment to stop laughing. “You’re fortunate you only have one roommate.”
“It’s not luck; it’s seniority,” Beryl gave me a wink. “Let’s get you to dinner before Boy Scout sends a search party. He’s set up something with your cool roommates. Not the red-headed banshee that rules his life.”
I snorted. “How do you know?”
Beryl grinned. “I let him know I’m your dinner escort. Poor kid’s heartbroken.”
I rolled my eyes, very much doubting that.
Dressed, with Beryl’s arm confidently around my waist, we made our way to the cafeteria. I reached up and squeezed my almost clear gem through my hoodie, deciding to skip dinner instead of trying to figure out what I could afford. If it weren’t for Saffron’s set up with my roommates, I honestly would’ve run back to my dorm.
The oppressive blanket of noise from the heaving cafeteria made me falter at the entrance.
Beryl kissed the side of my head. “Let’s find Roisin.”
He tightened his grip on my waist. I leaned into his confidence, tentatively smiling as we moved forward. A few heads turned our direction. Phones came out to take pictures People talked while eyeing us, but no one approached. I relaxed a little.
We found Roisin at a table hidden off to one side. She and the three other young women with her turned at my approach. My roommate gave me a cool nod and motioned to an empty seat.
Beryl pulled out the chair, and I sat. “Later, Dot.”
I focused on his broad backside as he crossed the room. He bumped knuckles with a shorter man with long, artfully braided black hair. The two laughed, and a smile pulled at my cheeks.
“So, you and Beryl?” Sandy said, pulling my attention to the table.
I nodded, trying not to grin. Sandy held out her hand palm out and waited for me to do something.
I furrowed my eyebrows and raised my hand, mimicking her posture.
Sandy shook her head. “It’s a high five.” She slapped my palm with hers and grinned.
“Ah, right,” I said, dropping my hand to rub it with my other, though it didn’t really hurt.
Roisin cleared her throat. She introduced the thin brunette twins seated on my right. I couldn’t stop myself from staring at their dull rimless eyes.
“Students can be Natural Mages?” I asked.
“Not many,” one of the twins admitted. “But black magic is black magic.”
“Everyone here has a sob story,” Sandy said offhandedly. “A lot of us announce them on Mêler to get ahead of the rumor mill.”
All four leaned in, waiting for me to say something. But Mêler remained a mystery. The four curious unsmiling faces staring at me didn’t inspire my confidence.
When I didn’t say anything, Sandy leaned back. “Right, well, um, yeah. What I care about is the here and now. Are you joining Beryl’s harem?”
I jumped when a plate with a warm, melty sandwich on it thumped in front of me – a chocolate chip cookie teetered on the edge.
The gangly tween who brought it looked at me nervously. “It’s a turkey Reuben. You dip it in the brown broth.”
The kid scampered off into the sea of tables before I could thank him.
I scanned the crowd and found Saffron’s unreadable gaze watching me. Behind him, Mercedes scowled at Saffron’s back before glaring at me.
Ducking, I moved my attention back to my table.
“Have you already joined his harem?” Sandy changed her question.
I moved my gaze to the Reuben and shook my head.
Saffron’s attention filled me with confusion. This morning, he’d judged me for overeating. Whatever this hot and cold thing he had going on was messing with me.
Roisin raised an eyebrow. “You walked in with Beryl, but Saffron’s your liaison. Do you even know who bought you dinner?”
“Multiple harem invites,” Sandy added with a dramatic sigh. “It’s my dream come true.”
I blinked at my sandwich, still trying to process their quick conversation. When my meat-filled bread didn’t magically solve the puzzle, I picked it up and dipped it in the broth. The bite was delicious, ooey and gooey.
As I refocused on my roommate’s voices, I realized their conversation gave me more questions than answers.
“You know Saffron got us together to try and help you, right?” One of the twins spoke up for the first time. “My sister and I owed him a favor. Once we leave this table, we’re,” she gestured around the table, “not going to be on speaking terms. So, if you have questions, ask them.”
My shoulders fell as the group lapsed into an awkward silence. I chewed slowly. So many questions bounced around in my head—including why Saffron called in favors for me. I closed my eyes, thinking about the groups of friends I’d seen happily existing together. When I opened them, the awkward unfriendly air still filled our table. Before I could dwell, I asked the first question that popped into my mind. “What’s a harem?”
Sandy spit out her drink. Pure shock colored Roisin’s face, and the twins paused.
“Were you raised under a rock?” Sandy asked.
I tried to hide behind my food. “Ahh, that’s the short version of it.”
Roisin rubbed the side of her face as she studied me. “I won’t push you to share, but eventually, someone here will.” She paused to gather her thoughts. “I didn’t know I was doing it, but when puberty hit, I started draining the life out of the people I touched.” Roisin’s violet rims burned into me. “My entire family was hospitalized. We didn’t know why, and I went to stay with a neighbor with kids my age. We were watching The Exorcist. It was the first time I’d ever seen a horror film, and I was terrified. Both my friend and her mom had let me grab onto their hands. Her mom had even put her hand over my eyes when it got too scary for me. They both slipped into a coma. That was three years ago. I still don’t know if they woke up.”
The urge to hug Roisin rose in my chest. I pushed it down.
She brushed a tear out of the corner of her eye with practiced ease. It took me a moment to realize all the girls at the table were looking at me, expecting me to share something in exchange. The table grew awkwardly silent when I didn’t.
An uncomfortable knot formed in my stomach. “I want to focus on the future.”
Roisin took a breath to speak, but Sandy cut her off before she could. “Whatever, she doesn’t want to talk about herself. Have you talked to Beryl? OMG, did he force your secrets out of you? Is that why you’re so quiet?”
“No,” I said quickly, even though Beryl knew pretty much everything about me.
Sandy looked disappointed.
Roisin cleared her throat. “A harem is a collection of people that powerful male mages gather around themselves.”
“It’s so much more than that,” Sandy gushed. “It’s sex and bonding and commitment and love.”
A blush covered Sandy’s cheeks. She brought her hands together in front of her and squirmed.
I picked up my Reuben, took a quick bite, and swallowed. “Beryl didn’t mention anything about a harem. Are harems normal? Should he have asked me?”
One of the twins wilted and gave me a pitying look. “Oh, sweetie.”
“What do you see when you look around this room?” Roisin asked before the twins could continue. It was a room full of people. Groups of two or more talked and laughed and ate.
“Right,” Roisin said after I had said as much. “Groups. There are five mages powerful enough to have established harems, Beryl and Saffron included. Those not in harems usually group up around their Coterie, and the Coterie I’m in is for knitting.”
“Knitting?” I repeated. “Like a knitting club?”
Roisin nodded once. “Exactly. Coteries are about fitting into the non-magical part of life once we get out. My magic is tragic.”
“So tragic,” Sandy echoed dramatically.
Roisin pointed at her eyes. “Violet, a mix of blue and red. I can steal the magic and energy from others, but I can only use it on myself. When I get out, I want to go into social work so that fewer kids that suddenly come into magic end up here. A few of us have the same goals, and we’re all now in the knitting Coterie.”
“You do realize how naïve you are,” one of the twins scoffed. “They won’t let mages work with the general population, especially with our history. You need to work the system like the rest of us. Show the institute you’ve learned control, pass their stupid tests, and get the fuck out of here.”
Roisin vehemently shook her head. “You can’t work the system! It’s designed that way. We don’t even know what they use to judge who’s a ‘good mage’ and who isn’t. They’re listening to this very conversation.” Roisin sighed. “Are my Aptitudes getting worse because I’m talking about them? Or are all of ours getting better because we are critically thinking about right versus wrong?” Roisin rubbed the side of her temple and let out a frustrated breath. “As Doctor Roy always says in class, life’s shades of grey. The entire point of being here is to give us the tools to make better choices.”
Both twins scrunched up their faces; a balled fist hit the table hard. “We’re here to be pissed on,” one of the twins said. “A last chance, so society doesn’t feel bad killing us.”
Sandy’s arms flailed in the middle of the table, and she knocked over her water. “Oopsy,” she said lightly. Her fingers danced, and colorful greenish-yellow magic blanketed the spill. “Roisin hasn’t joined a harem because she’s waiting for her book boyfriends to come to life.” Sandy’s eyes glowed as she looked at me. “Her one true love.”
I could feel Roisin blush. But the statement effectively ended what was going to become an argument. I dunked my sandwich and took another bite. The girls began pointing out the different Coteries and Harems. Saffron, busy as he was, seemed to have both a Coterie and a Harem. None of them mentioned Professor Garnet at all.
“I know I said this already,” Roisin ended with, “But you need to be careful who you make friends with.”
One of the twins made a thoughtless gesture toward me. “She’s a slut. I don’t think she cares.”
I frowned and studied my reflection on the metal table.
“What is a slut?” Sandy snarled. “I hate that word. Male mages literally keep harems. Ghalen sleeps with all three of his girlfriends at the same time. They’ve been in trouble multiple times for posting videos of their orgies. I know. I’ve watched them all. No one calls any of them sluts. Maybe artists...”
I decided to skip over yet another forming argument. “Saffron told me to be careful as well. Specifically against Beryl.”
Roisin nodded. “I said this already, but where Saffron’s our beacon of good, Beryl would be the opposite. As far as anyone can tell, he’s not even trying. I’ve no idea how he eats. I’ve not seen his gem with color in it since I got here. I’m not sure if anyone knows how long he’s been in the Institute. He must have been a kid, but I think he was here before Director Fleming even.”
I moved my gaze to Beryl. The table he and his friend occupied sat right next to the entrance to the cafeteria. Out of the corner of my eye, I’d noticed a variety of students come up to his table briefly before wandering off.
I’d been distracted by everything else, but he’d known my attackers. He said something about the Institute’s video servers as if he had access to them. The healing potion sparkled in my memory. I assumed those cost real money, not rations. They’d not even given me one when I got here, and I’d been shot twice. They couldn’t be handing them out to students for no reason.
My heart skipped. Had he stolen it from Nurse Norah? She’d said the facility was under-supplied. I moved away from the thought. Beryl wouldn’t do that, would he?
“As far as Beryl’s harem,” Roisin continued, noticing the direction of my gaze. “It’s one of the great debates. He’s too powerful not to have one, but he has a wandering eye, if you know what I mean. Except for his Native American friend, the mages in his life don’t seem to stick around long, and a lot of them end up dead.”
My heart fell, and I looked at my empty plate. Advisor Crowe said I was evil. The Magical Authorities even put me on death row.
A shiver of fear ran up my back.
If Saffron was the institute’s ideal of good and Beryl its ideal of evil, what did that make me?
Chapter 7
The sound of knocking woke me up. Layers of sweat made my standard-issue cream pajamas stick to me. Although I couldn’t remember my nightmare, fear still made me tremble. I struggled to move my limbs as if I’d been paralyzed.
Deep breath in, hold and release.
Last night, after marching me back to my dorm, Saffron demanded I stay inside for the rest of the evening. But Mercedes’ snickers and comments made those demands impossible to follow. I’d taken refuge in the library; Alice’s kind smile lifted my heart.
