Fated in Stone, page 31
“You’re probably better off asking Mom if it has to do with your Nam-tar. I’m no expert.”
“You have one now.”
Ben glanced up in time to see Eric actually smiling softly. “No thanks to my own efforts. I nearly fucked up the whole thing. Took some groveling to fix my mistake.”
He’d have liked to have seen Eric grovel. “I might have fucked things up, too.”
He told Eric everything then, about that first night, his wolf leaping through Elle on accident, the way they’d been unable to be apart until after finishing the process, testing Elle’s strength and speed, everything.
When he was done, Eric sat cradling his mug, staring at a spot in the middle distance, a frown creasing his brow. “That’s…complicated.”
Ben snorted and raised his mug in a mock solute. “Understatement.” He picked at a whorl in the wooden table. “Have I fucked up?” he murmured. “Ruined any chance of my curse being broken?”
Eric was quiet for a long time. Then, “What if you have? What would that mean for you and Elle?”
“Nothing, I guess,” he said. “I’d still want her to stay.” He loved Elle. He wanted her no matter what happened with his curse. He couldn’t imagine his life without her anymore.
Eric nodded. “Mom told me something I hadn’t realized, when I was worrying about…everything.”
The fact that Eric worried about aspects of his relationship with his Nam-tar was a little more reassuring than Ben would have thought. At least he wasn’t the only one.
“She said,” Eric continued, “that the process of staying is ongoing. It isn’t one choice forever and always. The choice is made by both of us, every day, through all the years, to stay. To continue together. Once that choice is made, over and over, the rest doesn’t really matter.”
“I don’t want to die like Jason did,” Ben said quietly, “But…honestly, I don’t care as much about breaking the curse anymore. I just want Elle to be happy.”
Eric smiled. “Felt the same way. Though…I tried to push Katie away for her own sake. Wouldn’t recommend that. Just backfires on you.”
Ben chuckled. He could almost imagine trying to push Elle away for her own sake, for her own safety. But that would be taking the choice to stay or leave away from her, too. He’d already done enough damage in that respect, taking her through the ritual too soon. He wouldn’t force any other choices on her. Where they went now, that was up to her.
But he intended to make sure she knew where he stood, that he wanted her to stay. That he hadn’t just been speaking from the aftereffects of a mind-blowing orgasm when he’d said he loved her. He did. And he wanted to spend his life with her. Once she knew that, the choice to stay or leave would be hers. Curse or not, he wanted her to choose him because she wanted him. And everything else was just noise.
“I need to spend some time in the forge this morning,” he said, setting his coffee mug aside. “We had to use the fire arrows on the grinluk. I need to make more.”
Before he’d even stood, Mrs. Patterson came bustling into the kitchen, her gray hair pulled up tight in a bun. “I’ll get you some food before you go,” she said, her back to them as she started throwing together a to-go bag for him of cheeses and cold cuts and bread.
The fact that Mrs. Patterson had probably been listening in on their conversation, waiting for the moment she could come in and get him food, made him smile.
“Where’s Elle?” Eric asked.
“Still sleeping. Been a tough few days. I didn’t want to wake her.”
“You want her to find you in the forge after she’s up, or you want to meet her in here?”
He considered that for a long moment, taking the offered bag of food from Mrs. Patterson with a thanks. “Show her to the forge, if you don’t mind.” He had a feeling his Elle would like that space. And suddenly he was excited to show her that part of his life.
He made his way down into the basement room devoted to his smithy work feeling lighter than he had in days. Not because Eric had come up with any helpful revelations about whether or not the curse could still be broken. But because Ben finally realized it didn’t matter. If Elle stayed, if there was hope she might one day love him in return, then he’d count himself a lucky man.
The rest didn’t really matter anymore.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Elle woke late in the morning, sun streaming in past partially opened curtains, creeping across polished hardwood floors she’d barely noticed last night. There was a lot about the room she’d barely noticed last night because she’d spent most of the night overwhelmed by Ben.
First fucking against the wall because she couldn’t wait to have him inside her. And fucking again in the shower because once wasn’t nearly enough. Afterward, eating a meal so large she was a little surprised she had that kind of room in her body. Then sleep sweeping her under so fast, she didn’t remember getting into bed. She was pretty sure she hadn’t and Ben had carried her there.
And in the background of all that, his beautiful words. I love you.
Impossible. Amazing. Too soon. Perfect. Just right.
And now…
Now, as the sunshine streamed into this borrowed room, she realized she had a choice to make. Accept that love. Allow herself to admit to her own.
Or leave.
He’d insisted, over and over, that she had the choice. That it was her decision and he wasn’t allowed to manipulate her into staying. She wondered if confessions of love counted as manipulation to an old god? She assumed not. Lot of people ran away from those kinds of confessions. She probably would have run from those words from anyone else. She had before. She didn’t trust love all that much. It made people do strange, sometimes horrible things.
Yet that nagging worry that Ben’s love would drive him to do something horrible, maybe even something horrible to her… She searched for it. Searched for the worry. The fear.
Not there. Not with him.
Was that the Nam-tar bond or was that Ben? Or her? Her therapist would call this growth either way.
She rolled over in the massive bed, luxuriating in her naked skin rubbing against the soft cotton sheets, savoring the weight of the heavy duvet. She’d known the instant she woke that Ben wasn’t in the room. She still had his masculine scent mixed with the soap from the shower surrounding her, though. A scent so much better than the one they’d started the night with. She pressed her face into his pillow.
In the middle of the night—or more likely early morning—she’d woken to feel the weight of him behind her, and the heaviness of his arm across her waist, holding her securely to him. His big body wrapped around hers felt so secure and comfortable, she’d drifted right back to sleep.
It was only just now occurring to her that last night was the first night they’d shared a bed. How strange. Because having him beside her, and waking to his scent on the pillow next to her, all felt so perfectly…normal. Right. Like she was used to all this already.
That had to be the Nam-tar stuff.
She shoved off the blankets finally and made her way to the massive bathroom. The temperature in the room was surprisingly comfortable, the hardwood floors covered in thick rugs that cushioned her bare feet. Everything felt soft and luxurious in this room with its pale walls and solid wooden furniture and not much else. Even without the hominess of knickknacks or clutter, the space still felt welcoming. Maybe that was because she’d spent an enormously pleasurable night here.
As she showered again, because the hot water felt glorious, she started to worry, though. Worry about how Ben was feeling this morning. Worry that he’d confessed to loving her and she hadn’t said the words out loud yet. She wanted to make that final decision, the one to stay, first. She wasn’t entirely sure why. Just that announcing her feelings before confirming she’d stay felt cruel. And making that decision lightly, because she was overwhelmed and in love, also felt wrong. Logic. She had to be reasonable and in her right mind when she decided.
Though, how she thought she could be logical or in her right mind about Ben, she had no idea.
She was toweling off and hunting in the large walk-in closet for a full set of clothes when it occurred to her she still didn’t know what his curse did to him. What he might face if she didn’t stay. Did she need to know what that was before making her choice? He’d claimed it might be too manipulative on his part to tell her. And she believed him. But that meant whatever it was was bad.
Just how bad, though?
When she finally felt ready to leave the room, she realized that she had no idea where to go. She’d had an impression of massiveness last night—the place was huge, large enough for a helicopter to land on the roof! There’d definitely been a lot of surrounding wealth, too. She was going to feel like an interloper wandering through this place without a tour guide. But she wanted to check on Gabe and make sure he’d gotten the chance to call his wife. She wanted to make sure arrangements had been made for him to be reunited safely with his family.
And she wanted to see Ben.
None of that would happen with her hiding in her room. So she opened the door and studied the corridor outside. She had a vague memory of the direction they’d come last night so she headed back that way, wondering if she could find Gabe’s room and if he’d be there. But before she reached the first turn, Eric Logan rounded a corner, walking right toward her.
The instinctive urge to backpedal and walk away from him surprised her. As did the spike of adrenaline. The man was intimidating as hell, and she wasn’t sure if he was doing that on purpose or if that was just him. She thought of Ben, easily half a foot or more taller than his brother and all solid blacksmith muscle, and how she wasn’t even a little scared of him. Strange that Eric sparked that response when Ben didn’t.
Eric approached her slowly and smiled when she did stop in her tracks and glance around, looking for an escape route.
“Sorry to startle you,” he said. “I was sent to ensure you didn’t get lost.”
“You were sent?” That didn’t sound right.
He shrugged. “I had to flip a coin with Gregory for it.”
He said this last like a grudging admission and the whole idea was so ridiculous she huffed out a laugh. The laugh settled her enough she didn’t feel quite so ready to run away from him. “I probably would have gotten lost, so I appreciate the escort. But I imagine you have better things to do.” She glanced around again. “Where’s Ben?” She sort of assumed if someone was going to give her the grand tour it would be him—he was the only reason she was here.
“Ben’s in his workshop. I’ll show you where that is, by way of the kitchen so Mrs. Patterson can feed you.” He raised a hand as if she might object to breakfast. “Mrs. Patterson insists, and I don’t dare argue with her.”
The thought of someone intimidating enough to cow Eric Logan sparked her curiosity. So she fell into step beside him.
The kitchen was a big bright room, with shiny appliances, huge windows, and large French doors looking out onto a gorgeously landscaped, and absolutely massive, backyard. A long wooden table bracketed by wooden benches and chairs took up the center of the room. The huge, fancy coffee machine on the marble counter drew Elle’s attention. She could do with some coffee this morning.
An older woman with a pleasantly plump figure and a tight bun of steel gray hair bustled about in front of an industrial sized stove. And the smell of bacon and eggs filled the big, airy space.
“You don’t eat meat, I’ll leave the bacon off your plate,” the woman said, her back to them. “I don’t cross contaminate, so I’ve used different utensils for eggs as for bacon.”
Elle found herself smiling. “I eat meat. Bacon sounds good.”
“Fair enough. Have a seat. You’ll want to eat fast. Rea will be back soon and there won’t be much left in her wake.”
Eric gestured to the table and Elle sat reluctantly. Being around all these people without Ben to have her back was more than a little nerve-wracking. Though now she kind of got why Eric might not want to gainsay Mrs. Patterson. She had that way about her. Ruled-with-an-iron-fist kind of woman. Elle liked that. But was also not ashamed to admit she was cowed by it, too.
Mrs. Patterson gestured to the coffee machine, her back still to them. “Get our guest coffee. I’ve got my hands full here.”
Eric did as ordered without so much as a scowl. And that was fascinating enough Elle forgot some of her own discomfort.
“Black, milk, sugar?” he asked as he poured.
“Black is good.” Milk and sugar in coffee meant she was relaxed and savoring. She was not relaxed now and wasn’t sure she could savor.
Eric frowned at her as he set the cup down in front of her. “Did you sleep well?”
“Yes.” Once she’d slept.
“I’m glad. Ben would want you to be comfortable here. Though he doesn’t come here very often these days. He lives in Philadelphia.”
Was that said to make her feel better? Because it kind of did.
“Most of the family lives in other places,” he said, taking the seat across from her as Mrs. Patterson set a plate heaped with food down in front of her. “We’re scattered to better deal with monster outbreaks.”
“Fair enough.”
“We’re about to have a big one.”
“The black goo? Have you talked to Professor Arron?” Which reminded her. “Has he called his wife? Does she know he’s okay now?” Then with a sideways look at her host. “Is he okay now?”
“He’s been well fed and went back to sleep. He called his wife last night. I’ve arranged to have her and his kids brought here for the reunion. There’s still a lot I want to discuss with him and this house is safer for everyone anyway. At least until we make sure the monsters won’t try to retrieve him.”
She shivered at the thought. “Thank you for bringing his family here. His wife was desperate when she came to me. No one else would help her.”
Eric nodded, sipping at his coffee. She realized about five bites into her gorgeous meal that he wasn’t eating. At her raised brows, he said, “I’ve eaten already.”
Must be later in the morning than she’d realized. But the sleep had done her good. She hadn’t had enough in the last few days. The food did her good, too. She hadn’t really thought about how hungry she was until the first forkful of fluffy scrambled eggs hit her tongue. She inhaled the meal. And the second plate Mrs. Patterson wordlessly put in front of her. The fact that she could eat so much now, seemed to need this much food, was going to take some getting used to. Her grocery bills were going to be outrageous.
One of the many consequences of the ritual she hadn’t really thought about.
Had Ben told his brother about that yet? Did any of them know? Or did they just assume she ate this much normally? Did they even notice?
She really wanted to see Ben again. After the second plate of food and two cups of coffee, she assured both Mrs. Patterson and Eric she was full, standing to make her point.
Eric’s gaze narrowed slightly but he didn’t do more than thank Mrs. Patterson before leading Elle from the kitchen. Elle also thanked the cook for the two excellent meals she’d been fed, then followed Eric, eager to reach Ben.
On the way, she did say, “I thought you’d interrogate me more about what happened. I kind of thought that’s why you insisted on feeding me first.”
“That was Mrs. Patterson insisting,” Eric said. “I was being honest about that. And she wouldn’t have allowed me to interrogate you in the kitchen while you were eating anyway.” He glanced at her briefly before focusing ahead again. “I do have questions. About what you saw at both the house and the larger lab. About the monsters and the black…goo. And I have a lot of questions about the monster made up of the black substance that then produced more monsters.”
“Professor Arron will have better answers for you on all of that. I can only tell you what I saw.”
“Small monsters being created by the black substance when it came into contact with fire?”
“Yes. Or they would have come out without the fire. They burned up in the flames, so I’m not sure that triggered anything. But again, ask the professor.”
“He didn’t know about the additional monsters spontaneously arising from the black substance. He calls it ankorge. That wasn’t something he worked on. The ankorge was created by another scientist or scientists. He worked primarily on using it to build brand new monsters.”
“Sounds bad.”
“It’s not good.”
Eric paused. Elle looked around the corridor. There weren’t any doors here. Just plain, if nicely painted, white walls with a few paintings hanging on them and a few insets with more stone statuary.
Eric noticed her looking at one of the statues. “Have Ben take you through the atrium when you have time. It’s been recently renovated. It’s quite lovely. And there are a lot of our mother’s statues in there.”
“Camouflage?” she asked, facing Eric again.
He smiled. It wasn’t a big smile, but it was more than she’d seen from him so far. “Exactly.” He pressed a seemingly random point on the wall, opening a hidden panel. Inside was a code lock as well as biometric scanners. He used both retinal and palm prints after entering a number code before another disguised panel opened, this one a door.
“Good security,” she said.
“We need it.”
She imagined they did.
He gestured her through the door and she proceeded him into a comfortably lit corridor that felt a lot homier than the rest of the house. The scuffed wooden floor had a long maroon runner down the length of a long hallway. The walls were covered in less museum quality art and the overhead lights were ordinary recessed lighting rather than the chandeliers in other parts of the house.
