Cartwheels In The Dark, page 13
“Doing okay in here?”
Kallie looked back toward the doorway. “Oh yes. I’m fine. There’s just a lot to do here, isn’t there? I think we should start by trying to find any personal documents, important looking paperwork, that sort of thing.”
“Sure thing. Point me in the right direction and I’ll see what I can dig up.” Amy offered.
Kallie directed her to a wall of built-in drawers in Maddie’s bedroom. She had always kept bills and stationery in the deep wooden drawers. It was as good a place to start as any.
Kallie decided to tackle the old-fashioned roll top desk downstairs in the dining room. Inside, she saw a box of “Whitman’s Sampler” chocolates. She remembered that box! She smiled at the thought of Maddie keeping it for all those years. She had given the chocolates to Maddie for Christmas, somewhere around the time she landed her first job as a teenager. She opened the box and saw a stack of letters tied together with a single piece of red yarn, tied in a bow.
The envelopes were addressed to Maddie but not one of them had a return address. She wondered who they were from but felt uncomfortable reading them. She knew they must be personal and important also since Maddie kept them tied together in a safe place.
She knew they weren’t meant for her to read but unfortunately, reading them was going to be the only way to determine whether they were something she should keep or toss out. She would open just one envelope to figure out its importance or lack of.
Kallie carefully opened the first letter and skipped directly to the bottom of the page looking for a signature. Her hands began to shake as she scanned the letter and saw the name, Connie Jansen scrawled at the bottom. The letter was signed by her mother? Why, of all people, had she sent letters to Maddie? The childlike writing on the page fueled the anger and outrage Kallie was quickly having a tough time containing. The more she read, the angrier she became. Turns out that Connie had been extorting money from Madeline for years! In exchange, she would allow her daughter to remain with Maddie. Connie was demanding payment? What was going on? Why would Maddie give Connie money? It was Connie who hadn’t wanted to be her mother anymore!
As she read on, Kallie began to see the big picture a whole lot clearer. Rifling through the letters, each demanding more cash than the last, she felt sickened by the ruthless woman that had given birth to her. She had abandoned her own ten-year-old child on a bench outside of a store and never looked back. Yet she had the nerve to extort the kind, thoughtful woman who took her in. She knew very well that Maddie cared about Kallie and would do anything to save her from being a ward of the state or worse yet, taken back to her abusive mother. The letters were many and didn’t stop until the month Kallie left for college.
A ledger in the drawer showed every single payment made to Connie. At first, she had been satisfied with forty dollars each month. Over time, Maddie ended up paying her seventy- five dollars a month to leave Kallie alone. She could feel the rage building up inside of her. How dare that conniving, horrible woman bilk Maddie for her hard-earned money! She worked so hard for every dime she ever had and ended up giving too much of it to a woman who hadn’t worked a single day in her entire life!
The very last letter in the box looked different than the others. That one was addressed to Connie and written in Maddie’s handwriting. In big red letters at the top of the page was the word “DUPLICATE.” As Kallie read the letter, she smiled as the tears streamed down her face.
“Ms. Jansen, the child has left for college. She no longer resides with me. There is no reason for you to contact me ever again. I will not be sending any more money and you do not need to write or call for any reason. I will no longer accept any form of contact from you going forward. Should you not adhere to my request, I will have no choice but to involve the law.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Kallie woke up the next morning feeling more rested than she had in days. Even months. She didn’t see Amy or Adam when she walked into the kitchen but noticed a pot of freshly brewed coffee on the counter. She helped herself to a cup and went to the large bay window seat in the living room. Through the window, she spotted Adam outside. He was holding an ax high into the air and letting it fall with smashing force into a piece of wood. Kallie made her way onto the front porch.
“Good morning, Adam!”
He stopped the ax in midair when he saw her and smiled. “Hey stranger! How are you feeling? I’m sorry I haven’t had a chance to visit with you much since you’ve been here. Unfortunately, work is well…work.” he laughed.
“No worries! I am so grateful that you and Amy have invited me to stay here with you. Your home is beautiful! What a spot to have all to yourselves.”
“Thank you! We like it. We’re so glad you’re comfortable here. We certainly want you to be. Give me a minute to finish here and I’ll come grab a coffee and sit with you for a bit. Amy ran into town to pick up a few things.”
“Oh, I don’t want to take you away from what you were doing.”
Adam chuckled. “Oh, trust me, it’s almost time for a break. I’ve been at it for a few hours now and the sun is getting a bit warmer than I like for splitting wood. I welcome a break and a chance to chat with you for a few minutes.”
Kallie sat in the chair on the front porch and closed her eyes as she tilted her head to the sun. The location of the cabin was pure heaven. A private haven away from the rest of the world. From where she sat, it was impossible to know there was a world going on outside of the peaceful spot she was fortunate enough to be enjoying.
Adam continued to drive the heavy axe into chunks. The loud sounds of wood ripping apart gave her a flash of DeJa’Vu, though she couldn’t quite put her finger on why. Something about being surrounded by trees and the sound of the wood splitting apart felt strangely familiar. She shook her head and dismissed whatever it was she couldn’t seem to form a picture of in her mind. When Adam finished, he made a cup of coffee and joined Kallie.
“So how are you feeling? Not just physically, I mean. You and Amy have both been through a lot in the past few days. I’d imagine finding out that you are sisters was quite a shock to you both!”
“That’s for sure! You know, you can’t make this kind of crazy stuff up! Only when our mother is involved is anything apt to happen!” she laughed.
“I know that Amy has had a tough time through the years dealing with the damage Connie has done. I can only imagine that you have also. Amy shared with me how Connie left you on your own when you were ten? I’m so sorry you had to go through that, Kallie.”
“Thank you. Fortunately, Madeline O’Brien was there to rescue me from whatever hell I could have lived if she hadn’t come along. I’m so sorry also for the issues that Amy had to deal with. She had to live there with Connie for her entire life. In some ways, I got the better end of the deal. A gift in disguise.”
Adam shook his head. “It’s good that you can look at such a terrible experience in a good light. You could have gone through life feeling bitter and angry. You and Amy both could have. But you didn’t. A couple of tough women, I’d say.”
“Amy is an absolute true gift in my life, Adam. Never again will I be without her. I never even knew how much I missed being a big sister until now. She has a huge, warm heart and I’m so glad she has you in her life.”
He smiled. “Well, she’s a pretty terrific woman and it is I who am the fortunate one.”
Amy’s car pulled up the gravel driveway. She was thrilled to see that her sister and her husband were having an opportunity to visit. Adam’s work schedule had been crazy as of late, but she had wanted nothing more than for the two of them to get to know one another while Kallie was still in Maine.
“Well hello to my two favorite people!” she said as she got out of the car. “Someone’s been to the farmers market in town! We shall feast tonight my dearies!”
Adam laughed as he descended the steps to carry her loot. “Did you buy out the entire market?”
“Laugh now! Enjoy all the fruits of the farmers hard work later my dear! I found the most beautiful ears of corn that we can cook on the grill for dinner. Oh, and the potatoes and tomatoes and…well you’ll see all my treasures soon enough.”
Adam leaned down to kiss her as he stood with both hands full of vegetables. Kallie smiled watching the two of them. They were so in love and genuinely happy, that was obvious to anyone who saw them together. Coming from the life she and Amy had, it made her heart dance to see that Amy had found a kind of love like she had also found with Cam. Both sisters had been blessed with healthy, happy marriages unlike the one they saw as children.
“I’ll take the bags in, hon, why don’t you grab a coffee and sit with your sister while I put things away.” he offered?
“You are the best!” she said as she kissed him once more.
“I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to see you happy, Amy. I always wished for this kind of peace for you. For all my sisters. Nice to see that you have found it.”
“He’s a good man. I feel truly fortunate to have his heart.”
Adam rejoined them on the porch after a brief time. He brought with him a fresh pot of coffee and pretended to be a waiter as he served the sisters. He dripped coffee down the side of Amy’s mug and onto the porch floor as he poured her a fresh cup.
Amy laughed, “You better stick to your day gig babe.”
“I think you’re right there my dear. So, ladies, tell me, how did two women grow up with the likes of Connie Jansen and turn out to be such beautiful people?”
Amy and Kallie laughed in unison. Kallie asked, “I take it you have been unfortunate enough to meet her?”
“Well, meet would seem like a friendly encounter, which it was not. I am aware of who she is since I’ve been called to the property more than once, while on duty.”
Kallie smiled. “Now that does not surprise me in the least. Let me guess, she was drunk and doing something she shouldn’t have been?”
Adam nodded. “She was drunk all right. She and another of your sisters, Brandy, tend to get drunk and call the police on one another regularly it seems.”
“That’s sad. Amy was telling me that Brandy turned out just like Connie. I wish that hadn’t been the case. Amy, what about Ginger?”
Amy had hoped they could talk more in depth about their siblings and their lives as children. She was glad to see that Kallie felt up to the conversation now.
“Ginger is doing well. She graduated high school and married a man named Ben Harris. He used to deliver for a local beverage company. After they were married, they moved to Massachusetts. She gave Connie a piece of her mind before she left and vowed to never see her again. She hasn’t been back to Maine since. When Adam and I eloped, Ginger and Ben were there with us. We keep saying we are going to get together one of these days, but life just keeps us both so busy. She sells real estate and Ben went into insurance sales, so they are always on the go.”
Kallie felt a tear run down her cheek. “I’m so glad to hear this, Amy. It looks like both of you did so well considering the odds you had stacked against you.”
Amy reached for Kallie’s hand. “You also had those same odds my dear sister. You also did very well.”
“I would love to meet Ginger at some point if that’s something she would be up for.”
Amy laughed. “Oh, I’m sure she would. She’s a peach, Kallie. You will love her. We’ll have to work on planning something for the three of us!”
“I’d love that! I have been thinking and I’ve decided that I’m going to see Connie while I’m here.”
Amy’s eyes grew wide. “Why on earth would you want to do that?”
“For starters, I’m not going to let her get away with the fact that she kept us all apart. Finding out that she knew exactly where I was that time and never told any of you about me, tears me up inside. Also, I need to know why she dropped me off and left me for dead in the first place. I mean, who does that? Why would any mother do that?”
Amy looked at Adam with concern. “Kallie, I know you have plenty of reasons to want to give her a piece of your mind, but I don’t think any good will come from a run in with Connie. The woman is pure poison. Trust me when I tell you that she only got worse with age!”
“I’ve thought about that and figured as much. Still, she owes me some answers.”
Amy nodded. “I couldn’t agree with you more, Kallie but you have to do remember that this is Connie we’re talking about. She doesn’t think she owes anyone, anything. To think that she will be willing to see you or give you any explanation, is kind of wishful thinking. If there’s nothing in it for her, she doesn’t do it. That’s how she is, remember?”
“Well, if I have to, I’ll make it worth her while. At this point in my life, I don’t care what it costs me. I need answers and I’m willing to give her whatever it takes to get them.”
Adam spoke up. “I know this isn’t any of my business, but I’m going to give my opinion anyway. Connie Jansen is a dangerous woman. We don’t get called out there because she’s a model citizen. She and Brandy beat on each other regularly and when they aren’t taking their anger out on each other, they seem to have no trouble finding some unsuspecting soul to direct it at. I think you are being a bit naive if you think she will willingly help you find the answers you need.”
Amy interrupted. “And you have just had a terrible accident that you need to recoup from! The last thing you need is either of them ganging up on you! I agree with Adam. You definitely shouldn’t go out there!”
“I love you both for worrying about me. I do. But, for me, this is something I am going to have to do. I’d prefer that one of you drive me out there when I’m ready, but if you don’t feel comfortable with that, I understand. I can wait until I am able to drive again. Please understand it’s something I need to do. I’ve spent my whole life without answers as to why I was tossed out. Now, I need them more than ever.”
Adam grinned. “Well, I see that you both have that same stubborn nature about you. If you are anything like your sister here, and I fully suspect you are, then your mind has already made up. When you feel well enough, I will drive you out to the shack.”
Amy didn’t like the idea at all. “Kallie, isn’t your life back home a good one? Why do you care what Connie has to say? Does it really matter, all these years later, what reason she had for leaving you? She’s the last person you should be concerned with at this point I would think.”
Kallie loved it that Amy was worried about her safety both mentally and physically. Still, it was something she knew she had to do. She had given it plenty of thought over the years and after reading the letters Connie had written to Maddie, Kallie knew in her gut it was something she was going to do, one way or another.
“I am happy at home, Amy. I have a wonderful husband who loves me and supports me. I have a wonderful career and I love what I do. Still, deep inside, I’ve spent my entire life feeling this need to prove that I was good enough. Even as a young girl, I felt like I wasn’t good enough. I felt that I didn’t really fit in anywhere. Even when something good happened, I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I always felt like someone was going to find out that I was Connie’s daughter, and I would be exposed for the low life that I really was. I know it sounds ridiculous now, but that’s how I felt. I got good, the older I grew, at being a chameleon. I knew what people wanted me to be, expected me to be, and I became that. Cam was the first person in my life to know all about Connie and the life I had with her. Fortunately, the man is amazing and has stood by me through the years, no matter what.”
“See! Life is good for you, sis, why go mucking around in the garbage that Connie will most certainly dish out?”
“I’ve come to realize that a person cannot have a future without first dealing with their past. I just need to know why. She’s the only one who can fill in those blanks for me and then I can move on. Please understand, Amy. It would mean so much to me to have your support in this.”
Amy had tears running down her cheeks. “My heart breaks for you! Knowing you felt that way your entire life kills me. You never, ever deserved to feel that way. I hate it that she did that to you. To all of us. I wish you wouldn’t go, but I understand that you have to.”
“Thank you, Amy. Your support means the world to me.”
Amy added, “Honey, as much as I appreciate you offering to bring Kallie to see our “mother, it should be me who takes her. Although, I need to tell you, Kallie, that I can’t see her with you. I will bring you there and wait in the car. I can’t bring myself to re-open that can of worms. I shut that door a long time ago and for me, it will remain closed. I hope you understand?”
