Flashpoint, page 7
part #8 of Commitment Series
For the next hour Cat and Billie listened attentively to their friend describe her challenging few weeks ahead, in preparation for starting her first employment in more than fifteen years. At the end of that hour, they managed to eat nearly the entire cheesecake as well as drink multiple cups of coffee.
Finally, Jen rose to her feet. "I gotta get going. Fred is beginning to think I've moved in with you two!" she chuckled. Jen rinsed her coffee cup and plate and placed them in the dishwasher. She faced her friends and rubbed her stomach. "I need to figure out how to tell Fred I'm not hungry for dinner. Cheesecake is amazingly yummy, but it sure does sit heavy on the stomach!"
Billie and Cat escorted their friend to the door where she hugged and kissed both women and gave them extra tight squeezes.
"Good luck with Tara," Jen said. "Like I said, she's a good kid. Just be open and honest with her, but most of all, trust her to do what feels right to her."
"I just hope she's mature enough to understand the difference between what feels good to her and what feels right to her," Cat replied. "Sometimes they are mutually exclusive concepts."
"Wise words indeed," Jen replied. "Promise me you'll call if you need to talk, or if there is anything I can do to help. Oh, and when you do talk to her, put yourself in her shoes. Remember what it was like when you realized your parents knew. Okay?" Jen advised.
"My parents never knew. I didn't come out until after they died," Billie replied.
"Well then think about how you felt when you worried about them finding out. Sheesh, do you always have to be difficult, Tall One?" Jen quipped back.
"Always!" Billie joked and then hugged her friend again.
"We love you, you know," Cat added as she too hugged her friend once more.
"Ditto, kiddo!" Jen quipped and scooted out the door.
***
"I don't really want to go." Tara looked at the girl lying beside her. The two girls had retired to Tara's room after dinner to spend their last evening together before Tara left for a week-long vacation.
"Why not? It sounds like fun," Kelly replied.
"I don't know. I keep thinking I'll be bored," Tara confessed.
Kelly rolled onto her side to face Tara and propped herself up on her elbow. "Bored? I could think of a million things to do on a camping trip." Kelly tapped Tara's forehead with her finger. "You need to use your imagination, Tara."
Tara locked eyes with her friend, and remained silent as a cavalcade of emotions paraded across her face.
Kelly frowned and placed an open palm on the Tara's face. "Something else is bothering you, Tare. What is the real reason you don't want to go?"
Tara snapped her head out of Kelly's grasp and looked away. She was embarrassed and a bit angry at Kelly's ability to read her thoughts.
Not easily deterred, Kelly lay back and looked at the ceiling. "You know you want to tell me," she prodded.
"No I don't," denied Tara.
Kelly refused to let her friend off the hook. She risked a covert glance at Tara. "Yes you do, and you might as well get it over with, because I'm staying right here until you do." Kelly stubbornly crossed her arms across her chest.
"Somehow I don't think my moms will go along with you spending the night. Especially in my bed," Tara retorted.
"Your moms don't allow sleepovers?" Kelly asked.
"Well, the sleepover part would be okay. It's the 'in my bed' part I don't think they'd be too crazy about. They're already suspicious," Tara explained.
"What do you mean?" Kelly prodded.
"They already think something is going on between us," Tara admitted. "They've asked my brother as much."
Kelly fell silent for several moments, and then turned once more to her friend. "Do you want something to be going on between us, Tara?"
Tara's heart was beating so hard she was convinced Kelly could see her chest rise and fall through her shirt with every beat. A sense of panic began to form in the pit of her stomach as she considered her friend's question. Suddenly feeling trapped and cornered, she began to rise from the bed, only to be stopped by a restraining hand on her arm.
"Tara, don't go. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that," Kelly apologized.
Rather than climb off the bed, Tara sat up and crossed her legs in front of her. She leaned forward and rested her arms on top of her knees and then focused on the bedspread in front of her.
Several minutes passed, during which Kelly was convinced she had ruined her friendship with Tara forever. Finally, when she couldn't take the silence any longer, Kelly rose from the bed and slipped her shoes on. She walked to the door, but stopped and turned around to address her friend. "I'm sorry, Tara," she said.
"Yes," Tara said as the bedroom door swung inward. Kelly froze where she stood.
Kelly turned around. "What did you say?"
Tara looked over her shoulder at Kelly. "I said, yes. I want something to be going on between us," she confessed.
Kelly breathed deeply to control her own wildly beating heart. She stepped back into the bedroom, closed the door and leaned against it for support.
"Do you?" Tara asked.
Kelly's eyes were wide with fear and excitement as she nodded her head.
Tara felt light-headed as her mind absorbed what her heart was feeling. She struggled to put a name to the turbulence that had taken up residence within her stomach at the news that Kelly felt the same way she did. She risked a shy look at Kelly. She realized that she, too, was under the spell of elated confusion. Tara reached out her hand in an invitation for her friend to join her in their silent celebration of attraction.
Shakily, Kelly slowly made her way to the bed where she sat in front of Tara, mirroring her pose and contemplated the same patch of bedspread.
Each girl covertly darted quick glances at the other until their timing coincided and their eyes met, creating a magnetic field so strong, neither could look away.
Feeling bold, Tara reached forward and took Kelly's hand. She held it tightly in her own. Every now and then, excited giggles escaped one girl or the other as their hands provided the physical connection they craved.
After contemplating the bedspread once more, Tara looked at Kelly and grinned. "Now what?" she asked.
Kelly breathed deeply and exhaled. "I don't know. I've never actually done this before," she admitted.
"Neither have I."
"Then I guess we should start out slow. Let's not rush it, okay?" Kelly suggested.
"Okay." Tara couldn't stop herself from grinning. "Now I really don't want to go camping."
Kelly frowned. "Tara, you have to go. Your moms are looking forward to this vacation."
Tara squeezed Kelly's hands. "But I don't want to leave you. I don't know if I can make it through a whole week without seeing you," she confessed. "Hell, I won't even be able to call you."
Kelly's heart soared at the knowledge that Tara was willing to give up what sounded like a wonderful vacation just to be with her, but her rational mind told her not to take Tara up on her offer.
"Tara, I want you to go. Just think how happy we'll be when we're together again after a week," Kelly baited.
"But I'll miss you!" Tara whined.
Kelly touched the side of Tara's face. "I'll miss you too, Tare, but I won't exactly be in your moms' good graces if they find out you're not going because of me," she reasoned.
Tara looked defeated. "Yeah, I supposed you're right." Tara looked at their entwined hands. "Promise you won't forget me while I'm gone," she said softly.
Kelly lifted Tara's chin. "How could I forget you, silly? You are on my mind nearly every minute of the day. Heck, I've even dreamed about you!"
"You have?" Tara found it difficult to catch her breath and tears came to her eyes as she struggled to contain her emotions.
"Are you crying?" Kelly teased. She reached forward and wiped a tear away from Tara's eye.
Tara grabbed Kelly's hand. "I can't help myself. I've never felt this way for anyone before. I mean, I love my moms and my siblings, but this is entirely different. What I feel is so intense, sometimes it's hard to breathe."
"I know what you mean. My parents have caught me staring off into space at the dinner table. They’ve even suggested I talk to the family counselors on base. I can only imagine how they'd freak if I told them I was too preoccupied thinking about you to even eat."
"Seriously? They wanted you to see a military shrink? That's intense!"
"You got that right! I learned pretty quickly to be more focused at dinner. The last thing I need is to pour my heart out to a shrink."
"How long have you been feeling this way?" Tara asked.
"Almost from the beginning," Kelly replied. "I don't know what it is about you. I mean, I really like Karissa, but I don’t like her in the same way I like you. You know what I mean?"
Tara nodded. "I do. I feel the same. So now you know why it's so hard for me to be excited about this trip. I mean, today is the first day of us, and now we have to be separated for a week. What if you…what if we feel differently by the time I get back?"
"If either of us—or both of us—feels differently about us by the time you get back, then I guess it wasn't real in the first place. I'm betting that won't happen," Kelly said.
"I just don't want you to forget me." Tara closed her eyes and allowed another tear to escape.
"I'll tell you what…" Kelly reached for the permanent marker on Tara's nightstand. "Why don't we give ourselves something to remember each other by while we're apart?" She turned Tara's hand over, took the cap off the marker and drew two circles, one above the other in a figure '8' on the back of Tara's hand. She then drew a horizontal line through the lower circle.
Tara looked at it in fascination. "What does it mean?" she asked.
"It's an ancient symbol that represents a person's spirit or soul. As long as you carry this symbol with you when we are apart, my spirit will be there to keep you company," Kelly explained.
Tara smiled broadly and then took the marker from Kelly. She took Kelly's hand and drew the identical symbol in the same place Kelly had drawn hers. She put the cap back on the marker and then looked at Kelly. "I promise not to wash this spot the entire week we're gone," she vowed.
Kelly just smiled and looked at her watch. "I gotta go, Tare. I told my mom I'd be home by ten."
Tara immediately felt a sense of loss as her friend rose from the bed. "I'll walk you home," she offered.
"You don't have to do that Tara. I only live a block away," Kelly pointed out.
"I know, but I want to," Tara followed her friend out of the bedroom.
As the girls approached the bottom of the stairs, they noticed that Billie and Cat were in the living room, going over last minute details for their trip.
"Mom, I'm walking Kelly home. I'll be back soon," Tara announced as they walked through the living room.
"Are you packed Tara? We need to be at the airport by eight tomorrow morning," Cat reminded her.
"Almost," Tara confessed. "I'll finish when I get back." She pushed Kelly ahead of her before her parents could delay them any longer.
"Whew! That was close!" Tara exclaimed when they stepped out into the night air. "If you give them a chance, they'll hold us there forever talking our ears off!"
"I like your parents, Tara." Kelly locked arms with Tara.
Tara suddenly felt very grown up and walked a little taller than usual as she escorted her lady home. "They're okay," Tara admitted. "I could certainly do worse."
"Their relationship should make telling them about us easier," Kelly said.
"You would think so, but I got the impression from Seth that they were bummed out at the possibility," Tara replied.
"I wonder why?"
"You know mothers. They worry about everything. I'm sure they just don't want me to get hurt."
Kelly stopped walking and faced Tara. She touched the side of Tara's face. "I would never hurt you, Tara."
Tara smiled. "I know you wouldn't."
Tara took Kelly's hand and they resumed walking.
"What about your parents, Kel? How do you think they'll react?" Tara asked.
Kelly contemplated the question for several long moments before answering. "I really don't know how they'll take it. I've never heard them say anything negative about gay people. In fact, they were pretty supportive of marriage equality when it passed several years ago. And I can remember my Dad being happy when Don't Ask Don't Tell was lifted. He said he didn't care who a fellow soldier slept with as long as he had his back on the battlefield. So I guess they'd be okay with it, but you never know. It's easy to support something when it doesn't directly affect you. I guess we'll just have to wait and see."
Tara nodded and they walked the remaining distance to Kelly's house in silence. They stopped just short of her property.
"I guess we should say goodnight right here. I'd like to tell them about you face to face and not have them find out by catching us in the act," Kelly explained.
"In the act?" Tara questioned.
"You are going to kiss me goodnight, aren't you?"
Tara blushed to the roots of her hair. "Ah...yeah, I guess."
Neither girl quite knew how to approach the kiss so they just stood there staring at each other, until finally, they simultaneously moved forward and slowly closed the distance between them until their lips touched, tentatively at first, then with full contact. Several seconds later, they pulled apart, both quite breathless from the experience.
Tara leaned her forehead against Kelly's. "I don't want to leave you," she whispered.
"I know," Kelly whispered back. "It will be okay. We need to trust what we feel."
Tara took a step back, but held tight to Kelly's hands. "I...I guess I'll see you in a week, then," she stammered.
Kelly smiled and hugged Tara closely once more. "In a week." She released her friend and ran the rest of the distance to her front porch. Both waved before Kelly entered her house.
Tara stood there for what felt like an eternity, which was as long as it took to compose herself, and then turned to walk home.
***
Billie and Cat put the finishing touches on their list just as Tara returned home. Instead of slothing slowly through the living room as she normally did, Tara bounded in and made a beeline directly to her mothers. She bestowed a kiss and affectionate hug on each of them.
"Gotta finish packing! Goodnight! Love ya!" Tara quipped before she literally ran up the stairs to her room.
Cat and Billie sat dumbfounded by their daughter's uncharacteristic behavior.
"Was that our daughter?" Billie asked Cat.
"It looked like Tara," Cat replied.
Once in her room, Tara hurriedly packed her suitcase then twirled herself around in circles before she fell onto her bed. She hugged herself tightly and grinned ear to ear. She lay on her back, and giggled at the mere thought that Kelly felt the same way she did. She raised her hands high above her head and looked at the symbol Kelly had drawn on the back of her hand.
"This is Kelly's soul. I own your soul, Kelly…and you own mine," she said out loud. "We are soul mates."
Tara felt tingly all over…especially on her lips. The kiss was amazing. She would never forget it for the rest of her life.
It was a long time before sleep overcame excitement and escorted the teenager into dreamland.
CHAPTER 8
The Charland house was a bustle of activity the next morning as the family scurried to complete last minute chores before leaving to catch their plane. Finally, packed tightly into the family van, they made their way through the busy streets en route to the airport. A sense of excitement fell over the troupe, evident by the hum of voices inside the car. Billie drove, accompanied by Cat riding shotgun, with Tara and Seth claiming their usual seats in the back of the van, and Skylar enjoying the entire middle seat for herself.
The route to the airport required them to pass directly by Kelly's house, at which point, Tara plastered herself to the window and waved wildly until the house was out of sight. Seth noticed his sister's unusual behavior.
"Was she there?" Seth asked.
Tara snapped around and looked at her brother shyly. "Huh?" she asked.
"Was Kelly there? Did she wave back?" he asked quiet enough to keep the questioning between them.
Tara blushed and looked down at her hands. She was unable to keep the smile from her face. She shot a quick glance in her brother's direction. "Yeah."
Seth watched his sister for a few moments. He instinctively knew something had changed in her relationship with Kelly. "Wanna tell me about it?" he asked softly.
Tara inhaled deeply and looked at Seth. Still smiling, she replied, "We talked last night. She feels it too. We kind of agreed to take it slow. I walked her home and...and," the teenager faltered and once more looked down at her hands.
"And you kissed her?" Seth prompted.
Tara felt her heart skip a beat, and she found it difficult to breathe. She pressed her hand into her chest and nodded in reply while she wiped a tear from the corner of her eye.
"Wow!" Seth said. "That's cool, Tare. I'm happy for you."
"Thanks!" Tara never felt so close to her brother as she did at that moment. "I just hope Mom and Mama feel the same way."
Seth threw his arm around his sister's shoulder and drew her in. "I get the impression Mom is okay with it. Mama is concerned about you getting hurt, but give her time. She'll come around. You'll see."
"I hope you're right Seth." Tara sat upright again and turned to stare out the window.
In the front seat of the van, Billie peered frequently into the rear view mirror and noticed the exchange between her children in the far back seat. She also noticed Tara waving to Kelly as they drove by her house, so she naturally assumed the topic of conversation to be Kelly. She was glad Seth was acting as his sister's advocate, and she instinctively decided not to tell Cat about the exchange. At some point, Tara would talk to them herself. In the meantime, she would try to make Cat understand that Tara's need to be happy far outweighed the probability of danger should her heart lead her in Kelly's direction.
