Heathens Ink Box Set, page 108
“What other things?” Wyatt asks with interest, and my cheeks heat.
“Um…well…” I already had this talk with Owen, and Wyatt’s been up close and personal already, so there’s nothing to feel weird about. Just spit it out, I tell myself. “I thought I’d get my hard dick, just in case…”
“Oh? Oh,” Wyatt’s eyes go wide and then half lidded as he processes what I’m saying. “Yeah, definitely do that.”
“Do you have to go right away to get Fritz? Or can I make breakfast first?” Owen asks.
“No rush, I just didn’t want to leave him alone all day. I hope that’s okay?”
“Of course. Fritz is a good boy; he’s welcome here any time.”
“I knew I liked you for a reason.” I give Owen another kiss and then one for Wyatt before we all climb out of bed and go to the kitchen.
Wyatt
My mind is spinning over everything that’s happened in the last twenty-four hours. When I was young, even before I figured out I was gay, I swore to myself that I wouldn’t follow my parents in the polygamist life. I didn’t want anything I saw in their relationship. And now here I am with two boyfriends.
I watch Liam and Owen flirt and laugh near the stove, and I wait for the jealousy to flair in my chest. But it’s nowhere to be found. The envy I’ve felt every time I’ve watched them together in the past few weeks is gone, and in its place is a longing to round the counter and join in. And I can, so I do.
I give Owen a pinch on the ass and revel in Liam’s laugh when Owen yelps.
“That was a hard pinch,” he complains, rubbing his ass cheek.
“Aw, I’m sorry. Want me to kiss it and make it better?” I offer, batting my eyelashes at him.
“Tempting, very tempting.” He takes my chin in his palm and kisses me, setting off a whole herd of butterflies in my stomach. When he releases me, Liam’s there to kiss me as well. How did this become my life? And what do I have to do to make sure it doesn’t disappear? “Why don’t you two entertain each other while I make breakfast?”
“Hmm, how ever will we entertain each other?” Liam asks, tapping his finger against his chin and pretending to think.
“Maybe a shower?” I suggest, noting a certain crustiness on my skin from last night.
Liam hesitates for a moment, uncertainty passing over his expression before morphing into determination. “Yeah, a shower would be good.”
Liam leads me back down the hall to the bathroom. I strip out of my clothes while he turns the water on to warm up. Then, he faces me, grasping the hem of his shirt, but not taking it off.
“Is this okay? If you’re uncomfortable, we can shower separately.”
“No, I want to,” he assures me. “I’m a little nervous, but I want to.”
I give him space and wait while he closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths before disrobing. Some people might find Liam’s struggle strange. After all, we were naked together just last night; he has no reason to feel self-conscious or anxious about doing it again. But I understand that this isn’t a hurdle he has to clear only once. It may take a lot of practice before the voice in his head doesn’t pop up every time he undresses in front of me and Owen. And I’m more than willing to take all the time he needs to get comfortable. I have no doubt Owen is willing to be patient too.
With Liam’s clothes in a pile at his feet, he turns to me with a triumphant smile, and holds his hand out to me. I take it and let him tug me into the shower.
“I’m sorry about that. I know it must be a pain in the ass to have a boyfriend who’s body shy.”
“You have nothing to apologize for.” I kiss him on the tip of the nose and reach for the body wash.
“When I was young, showers were pretty much my biggest fear. I dreaded having to be completely naked for so long. When I’d change my clothes, I’d do it in the dark, or as fast as possible. I would put off showering as much as possible. I’m sure you can imagine how popular I was for that.”
“Aw, I’m sorry you had to go through that. I can’t even imagine.”
Liam takes the soap from my hand and pours some into his hand before setting the bottle aside.
“I didn’t know what was wrong with me at first, how it was possible for my body to feel so wrong. I joined some forums and read some blogs about eating disorders and stuff, trying to figure out why I felt how I did. Then, one day I read this book with a transgender main character, and all of the sudden, it just clicked. I was so excited at first because everything made sense. I wasn’t alone, you know?” He runs his soapy hands over my body as he talks, and I soak in every word. “The excitement only lasted about five seconds before I realized how much worse this was than an eating disorder. I mean, what teenage girl doesn’t have an eating disorder? But apparently, I wasn’t a teenage girl anymore, I never had been.”
Liam quiets, and I’m not sure if his story is over or if he just needs a minute to gather his thoughts a little more. He finishes washing me and then offers me the bottle of wash and I take it, pouring a handful and then lathering his body the same way he did mine.
“I was fourteen when I realized it, and over the next year and a half, I struggled with a lot of depression and anxiety. I was terrified somehow people would figure out my secret and they’d make fun of me…or worse. I knew my dad would never accept it. There were some days that I thought it might be easier to just end things, because I couldn’t imagine how I’d ever live a normal life.”
My hands still, my heart turning to ice at his confession. I could’ve lost him before we’d even met. I don’t want to think about how terrible and empty the world would be today if he’d acted on those dark impulses back then.
If not for Liam’s sniffling, I wouldn’t be able to distinguish shower water from tears.
“Oh baby.” I pull him into my arms and run my hand up and down his back. “I’ve got you. Everything’s okay now. You never have to hurt like that again.”
“I never told Royal this, but he’s the reason I didn’t do it.”
“He is?”
“Yeah,” Liam nods and steps out of my grasp. Reaching around me to turn off the water. “I found him through Facebook, and I knew he didn’t know I existed, but I would sit up at night looking at pictures of him and his friends at Rainbow House. I would daydream about running away and going to find him and how much better my life would be because someone would finally understand me. And I was right. Finding my brother was the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“It’s the best thing that happened to me, too,” I tell him as I wipe his tears away with a towel and then use it to dry the rest of his body.
“Me too,” Owen adds from the doorway, startling both of us. “Sorry to eavesdrop, I just wanted to let you know breakfast was ready.”
“You’re not eavesdropping,” Liam assures him with a smile.
After we’re dry, Owen offers us some clean pajama pants and t-shirts to change into, and then the three of us sit down for breakfast—together, just like we should be.
Owen
After breakfast, Liam leaves to run back to his house, and it’s just Wyatt and me all alone.
“So…” he says, bobbing his head and letting his eyes wander around my living room.
“So…” I agree with an awkward laugh.
“This is a little weird, right? It’s not just me?”
“It’s not just you,” I assure him. “You and Liam have been close for a long time; it’s going to take a little while for you and me to find our own rhythm too. There’s no rush; we’ll get to know each other over time and find things to connect over.”
“Yeah,” Wyatt nods and his shoulders relax. “Like with the hiking.”
“Exactly. We should do that again soon, it was fun.”
“I’d love to.” He smiles and leans into the couch, getting comfortable. “It’s probably silly, but I have this bucket list of places I’d like to hike, like the Appalachian Trail and the Incan Trail to Machu Picchu.”
“That’s not silly at all. On our second date, Liam and I talked about how we both want to travel. Your list fits perfectly. One day, the three of us can fly all over the world together and while Liam goes in search of the perfect photographs, you and I can hike and enjoy nature. Maybe if we find a trail with enough natural beauty, we can even convince Liam that hiking isn’t so bad.”
Wyatt’s face takes on a wistful expression. “That sounds wonderful,” he sighs.
I reach for his hand and lace our fingers together. “Then that’s what we’ll do.”
“Aren’t you getting a little ahead of yourself, talking about travel when we haven’t even had a proper first date yet?” he teases.
“I suppose I am,” I agree. “So, let’s talk about a first date. I assume you don’t count lazing around watching movies all day as a first date either?”
“Sorry, no.”
“So, what’s your ideal first date?”
“I don’t know,” Wyatt answers with a shrug, but the pink tinge creeping into his cheeks tells me he’s lying.
“Yes, you do, come on,” I prompt.
“I guess I always had this sort of romantic image of a man taking me on a candlelight picnic under the stars.”
“I think that could be arranged.”
“How does this work with the dates? Will it always be all three of us?” he asks, nibbling on his bottom lip and avoiding my gaze.
“I’m not sure Liam had specifics in mind, and I could go either way. Why? Were you hoping for one on one dates?”
“No,” Wyatt answers quickly. “At least, not right away, if that’s okay?”
“It’s okay with me,” I shrug. “Is this about some of the things you mentioned last night about your parents?”
“Yeah,” he admits. “There was so much jealousy, but they always pretended like it didn’t exist. My dad played favorites with his wives, and they would get so catty with each other when he wasn’t around. It was horrible. I don’t want it to be like that. If we’re going to do this, I want all three of us to be together. I don’t want to feel jealous of you or vice versa.”
“I understand.” I pull Wyatt closer and put my arm over his shoulders. “I’m not going to pretend to be an expert on the type of relationship your parents had, but I doubt it was supposed to work that way either. But this isn’t going to be either of us sitting around hoping to get scraps of affection from Liam. The only way this can work is with the three of us as equal partners, equal feelings.”
“Good, that’s what I was hoping you’d say.”
When Liam gets back with Fritz, he puts his things in the bedroom, saying they can stay there until we’re ready to use them, and then the three of us (four, if you count Fritz) cuddle on the couch and spend the day laughing and talking through so many movies I lose count. It’s the perfect day.
Chapter 31
Liam
“Have a seat; tell me how everything’s going,” Alex waves me toward the couch. I sit down and put my feet up on the coffee table.
“Everything’s good.”
“You’re still seeing Owen?” Alex asks, and I nod and then smile.
“I am, but we actually just brought a third into our relationship too.”
“Oh? That’s great. You’ve talked about wanting a polyamorous relationship for as long as we’ve been meeting. Is the third man someone you’ve known a long time as well?”
“It’s Wyatt,” I confess, suddenly feeling strange, remembering that Wyatt revealed he’d dated Alex years ago.
Alex’s normally impassive face breaks into a bright smile. “Seriously?”
“Uh, yeah. I’ve had feelings for him for ages, and once Owen got to know him, he agreed Wyatt was the right person for us. This weekend we had him over and laid it all out for him. He was a little weirded out at first, I think, but he came around pretty quickly.”
“Weirded out? Yes, I can imagine how he’d be resistant to a poly relationship initially.”
I bristle a little at the reminder of how well Alex knows Wyatt.
“Well, he did agree, after we talked about it. And then…” I trail off, trying to decide if this is awkward now that I know about their previous relationship.
“I’m guessing Wyatt told you about the extent of our relationship? Is that why you’re feeling uncomfortable?”
“Yeah. Is it weird for me to talk about your ex-boyfriend and like, what we did in bed and stuff?”
“You don’t have to talk about anything you feel uncomfortable with. That’s always been the case; you know that. But I’m your therapist first and foremost—whatever my relationship to Wyatt was at any point is irrelevant in here. I understand your sexual relationships are a big hurdle for you right now, and I’d hate for you to avoid discussing it simply because Wyatt and I dated a lifetime ago.”
“Okay, well, he went down on me. I was so nervous, but with both of them kissing me and everything, I was too distracted to be too anxious about it. So, I’ve finally crossed that bridge of having someone up close and personal with my dick.”
“And how did you feel? During and afterward?”
“During I felt amazing,” I snort, and Alex fixes me with a look that says you know that’s not what I meant. “Honestly, when it was happening, I forgot to feel weird about it, which was great. After, I felt uncomfortable being totally naked with both of them. Like, they’re just so casual with their cocks just flapping in the wind, and…well, you know. So, I put my underwear back on, but that kinda sucked too because I wanted to be naked with them. I wanted to feel comfortable enough to just stay naked like they were.”
Alex nods in understanding. “Even cisgender people feel uncomfortable being naked in front of their partners. It’s important to give yourself credit for the progress rather than dwelling on the areas where you feel like you’re still struggling. Did either of them seem to mind you putting your underwear back on?”
“No.” They hadn’t seemed to give it a second thought, and I was grateful for that. “But okay, what if eventually they realize they have everything they need between the two of them, and they decide I’m just an extra hassle they don’t want to deal with?” I voice the irrational fear that’s been festering in the back of my mind for days.
“Do you think that’s a realistic possibility or do you think you’re coming up with worst case scenarios?”
“Probably worst case,” I agree. “I feel so stupid because I wanted this so badly and now that I have it, I’m anxious and scared. I was always so sure I belonged with both of them, but what if I was just supposed to bring them together?”
“I don’t think there is a supposed to. Relationships aren’t made of fairy dust; they’re made of love and sacrifice. And, as we’ve discussed many times, you can’t control what might happen. You can only deal with what you have in front of you at any given moment.”
“Okay.”
“So, what do you have in front of you right now?”
“Wyatt and Owen, willing to try a three-way relationship because it’s what I told them both I want.”
“They’re in this because of you, so trust that they won’t suddenly decide to exclude you.”
I nod resolutely. “Okay, yeah, that makes sense. Thanks, Alex.”
“It’s my pleasure.”
Wyatt
A knock at my office door draws my attention. I’m expecting to see one of the kids, or possibly Beck or Mary. What I don’t expect is to see Liam and Owen standing in my doorway with mischievous smiles.
“Hey guys, what’s up?”
“We’re here to kidnap you for a date,” Liam explains.
My heart does a slow somersault in my chest.
“Are we allowed to come in and kiss you, or would that be weird given where we are?” Owen asks.
“Psh, I’ve done more than kiss here,” Liam waves a dismissive hand at Owen, and I arch my eyebrows at him.
“Is that so?”
“Don’t look so surprised, you already knew about Kyle.”
“If it’s all the same, I’d prefer not to think about you with other men,” I wrinkle my nose at the thought. “I’d much rather think that Owen and I are the only ones to ever touch you.”
“You are the only ones to touch me. It was not a two-way street with anyone before you; I didn’t trust anyone else enough,” Liam explains, coming into my office and around my desk until he’s standing right in front of me. “But I had to get plenty of practice, so I’d be good when I finally had a shot with the two of you.” He winks, and I can’t help but laugh.
“I’d say good is an understatement,” Owen says.
“Damn right,” Liam crows, and I laugh again.
Over the years, I’ve seen many sides of Liam, but I don’t think I’ve seen nearly enough of confident, dare I say cocky, Liam. It may be my favorite side of him.
Liam leans down and kisses me briefly and then steps out of the way so Owen can do the same.
“So, where are you guys taking me? You know I’m not cheap, so if you’re hoping to get into my pants again, I hope you planned accordingly,” I tease.
“Noted. It’s a surprise though, so you’ll just have to finish up what you’re working on and come with us without protest, or you’ll never know.”
I sigh dramatically, earning an amused smile from Owen. “Give me five minutes?”
“No problem. We’ll go hang out with the kids until you’re done. Then you can come find us.”
They both leave, and I finish up the file I was working on, half my mind busy wondering what sort of surprise they might’ve planned for me.
Once everything is finished, I shut down my computer and go in search of my men. I find them in the rec room playing Mario Kart with Maggie and a newer arrival named Gus.
I haven’t dated much in the past several years, but I was shocked when some of the men looked down on how much time I spent here. At first, they’d be impressed, even interested in volunteering themselves. But as soon as they realized I don’t get paid to help these kids, that I take only enough paid clients to cover my bills and spend the rest of my time here, they were a lot less impressed.
Apparently, Liam wins the race because he throws his arms in the air and declares himself Mario Kart King.
