“What changes things?”

  “This. Tonight. Being together like this.” He was trying to say something, and doing a terrible job of it.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well … I’ve got a lot of years left. I don’t want to spend them chasing lots of girls, like some of my friends do. I’m not like that. I want to be close to someone. And I don’t mean kissing. That was nice, wonderful, great really, I mean, you’re amazing. But maybe this is the start of something….” he continued hesitantly. “Time is so short, it can disappear like that, and every moment is a gift you can’t get back, you just spend it and it’s gone. Even when you know your expiration date. And I’m glad I know it. I can’t explain it really, except that it’s … comforting in a way. And I’d like you to feel that comfort too.”

  “You have a lot of years left though - you’re Constant,” she pointed out, feeling distinctly uncomfortable now. Constants were encouraged to seek out others of a similar lifespan to spend their lives with. Interims too, so that they wouldn’t have to worry about leaving a Constant partner behind. Whereas Transients… they didn’t get to worry about those things at all.

  “Yes, and I want to spend those with someone special. Someone I really like. Tonight spending time with you ...”

  “And?” Rae couldn’t quite believe she was hearing this from Logan Suttor but couldn’t deny that she liked it.

  And then he said it again. “I think you should take the test.”

  This time Rae felt a flash of anger. He was sounding just like her parents, her friends, everybody. “I said I wasn’t going to.”

  “I know, I heard you.”

  “Then why are you saying this? I thought you got it.”

  “I do, but … I just thought maybe tonight might change that. It would be good to know …” He was backtracking now, but not by much. Just trying to calm her down, but he was arguing with her again, just like in class, trying to get her to change her mind when she knew she was right, and God she hated that about him.

  “Is that why you brought me here? To change my mind about the test? Make sure that you’re not wasting time on someone who might not fit into your category?”

  “No, I—no. That doesn’t even make sense. That’s not what I meant.”

  “What did you mean then?”

  “I mean, I like you Rae. You’re great, and this was great, the pizza and the dunes and the kiss and all of it and I don’t want it to have to end.”

  He looked at her, and it was a kind of question, but Rae didn’t know how to answer.

  “I know I have a future,” he continued. “I want to know if we do.”

  “I’m not taking the test just to make you feel better.” Or let you find out in advance if I’m Constant, Interim, or god forbid, Transient.

  “Don’t do it for me then, or for anyone. Do it for you, Rae.”

  She stood up, and now the wind was cold on her face, freezing.

  “Just take me home.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Logan dropped her off a block from the house. They didn’t say much, just goodbye, and Rae climbed out and walked the last block home, disappointed. She’d really thought they’d connected, that he might be a kindred spirit, when all along he wanted to assess her just like the damn government.

  When she walked in, her mom was watching television and Carl was at the table doing homework. She didn’t see her dad, but his car was in the driveway.

  Her mother looked over at the door. “Welcome home.” Her tone had a slight scolding quality to it, but not as bad as Rae feared. “I hope you had fun with your friends, though I really wish you would’ve told me you were serious about….”

  She sighed. “I did tell you. I don’t want to take the test - not today anyway - ”

  “Too late…” Carl interjected and her mother glared at her little brother.

  “Hush, Carl.” She turned off the TV and shouted up at the ceiling. “Honey, Rae’s back.”

  “OK coming!” Upstairs, her father sounded excited.

  “I already ate.” Rae crossed to the stairs, but saw him coming down with packages in his arms. “Somebody’s got birthday presents …” he chuckled and set them on the table.

  “I need to take a quick shower first.”

  A look of concern washed over her mother’s face now and set into a scowl. “So where were you tonight?”

  “I went to the beach,” she replied, “with some friends - I told you.”

  “Yeah,” her dad commented. “I can see that. You tracked in some sand.”

  “I know. Sorry. I’ll vacuum it. But I need to take a shower first.”

  “Don’t worry about the rug,” her mom insisted. “I’ll do it. It’s your birthday. Wash up quick and come back down for presents. There’s also cake and ice cream.”

  Rae meant to take a quick shower, but once she was in she didn’t want to get out again.

  She let the warm water spill over her, massaging her shoulders, washing away what had happened with Logan and what was said. The white noise of the shower was like the white noise of the ocean, and she heard voices in it, and all the voices belonged to Logan.

  She tried to listen to the words, but there were no words just sounds and syllables in his voice, and she couldn’t understand what he was saying or who he was or whether they’d ever have a future together, or even if that was what she wanted.

  She turned the water off and dried herself, then slipped into a t-shirt and sweatpants and came downstairs.

  “Don’t take any pictures,” she announced on her way down.

  “But we have to,” her father said. His cell phone camera was already capturing the moment. “It’s your birthday, and you’re only sixteen once.”

  Thank goodness …

  There was cake on the table already cut into slices and passed around on small plates with forks beside them. It looked like chocolate cake. The usual. There were three kinds of ice cream.

  “Which one would you like?” her mother asked, with the ice cream scooper in hand ready for combat.

  “Peanut butter chocolate.”

  Her mother dished up the ice cream, and everyone sat around the table. The TV was off, and Carl had cleared away his homework. He seemed to be happy about the distraction from homework to the birthday celebration, even if the presents weren’t his.

  “You’ll never guess what I got you, sis.”

  “I don’t have to guess,” Rae teased. “I can just open it.”

  She grabbed the present with the sloppiest wrapping job. That was Carl’s gift, she guessed and his scrawl on the wrapping paper confirmed it. To sis, from bro.

  “Can I open the presents now?”

  “If you want to,” her father said.

  He and her mother exchanged a look. Something important passed between them.

  What was that about?

  She opened the small box that Carl had given her.

  “Carl picked it out himself.”

  Inside the box was a bracelet, a blue bangle. “Thank you, Carl.”

  “Do you like it?” he asked eagerly.

  “It’s perfect,” Rae said, and put the bracelet on, then showed it to her mom and to her dad for the cell phone video he was taking. “It’ll go with all my clothes. Thanks, Carl.”

  “Told ya, mom.”

  “You did good Carl.”

  “Okay,” her mother said. “This one’s from me.” She handed Rae a box. Inside was a new cell phone, an upgrade from the kind she already had.

  Rae found that amusing. She thinks my phone doesn’t work.

  She’d gotten out of the habit of picking up calls from her mom, who always called at the exact wrong moment, and was always happy to hear from Rae when she called back, because of course she had been without exception, ‘worried sick‘.

  “Thanks Mom,” she said, giving it some energy. “I really need a new phone.”

  “I know and this one has a lot of new features, but you can talk to your dad about that, because it’s not really my thing, but happy birthday honey, I love you so much.”

  Her mother got up and circled the table and kissed Rae on the forehead and on the cheek, and hugged her just a little too tight and a little too long.

  Rae’s birthday meant a lot to her mom. Rae was the oldest, and she’d heard it was a difficult labor with a lot of worry and tension, and her mother always cried at Rae’s birthdays because her daughter was healthy, and giving birth to Rae was she said, the best thing she’d ever done. Though she didn’t say that when Carl was around.

  “There’s another one under the table,” her dad pointed out. “Honey, can you get that? I’m filming.”

  “Sure thing.” Rae’s mother reached under the table.

  The present from her father was much larger, and a bit heavier. It was the size of a hardback book and about the same weight, but she knew her father wouldn’t buy her a real book, not at this age, so it must be a tablet computer, which is what Rae had asked for, and when she opened it, she discovered she was right.

  “Thanks Dad. It’s just what I wanted.” She didn’t have to fake any excitement this time. All her friends had tablet computers and so did the teachers, and pretty much everyone she knew except Carl. And now she had her own.

  She hugged her dad even though he was still filming, and she saw that he was getting a little misty-eyed, so she kissed him on his stubbly cheek and let him go so he could get it all on digital.

  Lastly her mother took two envelopes from the side table. She handed the small one to Rae first, who opened it. Inside was a gift card for the mall in the amount of $100.

  “That’s from both of us. Especially your father.”

  “This is great, thank you.”

  Last came the larger envelope. Rae’s mother clutched it tightly in her hand. “Before I give this one to you honey, I just want to explain something. You don’t have to open it.”

  “What do you mean?” she asked, frowning in confusion.

  “It’s yours to keep. You don’t have to open it. You can destroy it if you like. Or hold on to it. It’s your choice.”

  Rae got a terrible feeling. Something in her spine was warning her of danger. Whatever was in that envelope, it was something important but scary. Her mother looked worried—not so much worried about the present, but Rae’s response.

  Her mother held the envelope out, and Rae gave the envelope a shake. Her mom’s hand was trembling. “We’re giving you this because we love you, and want the best for you.”

  Rae took the envelope and turned it over. On the front was an OBK corporate logo. The recognition made her breath catch.

  No …

  Chapter Twelve

  The Lakeb-Oberkampf Test—developed by Dr. Lakeb and Dr. Oberkampf, founders of OBK—was the official term for what everyone called the cryptograph. The Lifespan Test.

  In the course of only a few years, OBK had become the most powerful corporation the world had ever known. They now made more money than Exxon, had their fingers in more pies than General Electric, innovated more than Apple, and were more tech savvy than Google.

  Because of the cryptograph and their resultant success in the healthcare industry and on Wall Street, they had succeeded in lobbying first the U.S. government to mainstream the test and quickly thereafter other governments throughout the world, as well as the United Nations. As a result, they had usurped the power not only of the world’s dominant industrial players, but also the political powers.

  Because unlike most multinational corporations, OBK lobbied governments on humanitarian grounds. Their cryptograph technology was not only an incredible invention, but a necessary improvement to people’s lives and wellbeing. Every democratic leader, every dictator, every political committee in the world wanted to promise their own people what OBK, and only OBK, could give them. OBK owned the patents to the greatest invention the world had ever known, and with the patents came the money.

  And with money came power.

  Rae’s face whitened. “What is this?”

  “If you want to know, you’ll have to open it,” her father said his voice falsely cheery.

  “My appointment? Is this my appointment at the test center, because we already talked about—”

  “No honey,” her mother interjected. “It’s not the appointment.”

  Her father murmured the next words softly. “It’s the results.”

  The results?

  Rae tried to process that, but it didn’t make any sense.

  “What do you mean? What results?”

  “The results of the test of course,” Carl blurted out, like she was stupid for not understanding.

  “But I didn’t take the test …”

  Carl continued. “We went to the clinic after school anyway. You missed it, but it was boring. We had to wait around for like an hour.”

  Rae stared at her mother, her heart pounding and blood pulsing in her ears. She was getting hot all over and something wasn’t right, something was terribly wrong, and everyone in the room knew what it was but her. “Mom? What happened at the clinic? What did you do?”

  Her mother brought her hand to her mouth, and her eyes grew tight and watery.

  “I’m sorry, but it was the right thing. The only thing.”

  They did it without me …

  Rae didn’t know how, but somehow the clinic had taken the test without her. Taken her cryptograph.

  But that was impossible.

  “I didn’t give them a sample,” she argued. “I didn’t give any blood. Without a blood sample, there’s no DNA. You have to go in and give a blood sample, right? That’s what everyone does.”

  “You can pee too,” Carl said. “Into a cup. They said you can just pee and they don’t have to stick you with a needle, but it’s easier with blood.”

  “I didn’t pee into a cup,” Rae protested. “I didn’t give a urine sample or a blood sample, so there’s no way they could—“

  “Hair,” her father said softly. “They can do it now with hair.”

  “You took ... my hair?”

  “There was some on your pillow,” he said looking a little shamefaced. “When we called the clinic after school to cancel, they told us there was another way and it was easy and if we brought them a hair sample, the cryptograph would still be good, and they could do it without you even being in the clinic. They have to do that sometimes for other patients. It’s a new test, but the results are the same; they just don’t tell people about it unless there’s a problem.”

  “I’m not a problem!”

  “You’re our child, sweetie, and we love you. Your mother’s right. That’s why we did it. Because we love you so much.”

  “You didn’t have my permission.”

  “They don’t need it,” Carl said. “Because we’re kids.”

  “Because I’m a minor …” She whispered, understanding.

  Her father nodded. “That’s right honey. Legally, that’s right. It was our decision all along. We didn’t know that, didn’t even think about that until we talked to them on the phone, but they said you were a minor, and if we brought them a sample of your hair they could do the test in an hour and have the results ready the same day. They said you didn’t have to open the envelope. But now it’s all legal, and we don’t have to deal with this in January and honey, we did you a favor.”

  “A favor?” Rae realized she was shouting now, though she didn’t want to raise her voice. It just came out that way. And she didn’t usually yell at her parents, but if ever they deserved it, they deserved it now. “You took my hair, a piece of my body, and put it in a machine that just spits out some result … that just vomits up my destiny? You did that without asking and without telling me, and behind my back? After I said no. I said no. We talked about it this morning, and I said no! And now, it wasn’t even my choice to make, because even though I’m sixteen, I still don’t get to make my own decisions—”

  “You don’t have to open it …”

  “I don’t want to open it!” Rae slammed the envelope down on the table. “I didn’t even want it to exist and now it’s here, and this is my birthday present? I should burn it. Just burn it.”

  “If you want to …” her father said, backtracking now.

  Her mother added, “We don’t know what’s inside. We didn’t ask, and they didn’t tell us and they didn’t show us or anything. No one knows.”

  “The lab knows.”

  Her father nodded. “Yes. I suppose the lab knows.”

  “And the government knows,” Carl pointed out.

  “Those records are all sealed, honey. Even if you weren’t a minor, they couldn’t give out your results without authorization.”

  The government knows …

  The world had suddenly turned on its axis.

  Rae grabbed the envelope off the table, and ran up the stairs.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Much later, she sat on her bed, staring at the envelope.

  It was past midnight and she couldn’t sleep. She’d put it in the trash earlier, but had gotten out of bed to retrieve it. Then she’d put it on her desk under the thick dictionary. Then in the closet. Now it was on her bed.

  Rae sat on top of her covers, just staring at it. The light was off, but moonlight fell from the window and it was enough to read by.

  If she wanted to.

  I don’t want to.

  But she couldn’t sleep either. An answer was in that envelope. It was the answer to a question Rae didn’t want to ask, but everyone had been asking for her, and now she had the reply locked inside on a sheet of paper.

  Her eyes were dry. She’d cried enough today. She’d cried with Logan, in front of her family, alone in bed and the tears had exhausted her. She felt wrung out, squeezed of all emotion, dead inside.

  Dead.

  That’s what the trouble was. She didn’t want to know all this stuff, her DOD and cause. It would come whether she knew about it or not.

  Maybe Logan was right, she thought, trying to work it out in her head. He knew his future, at least how long it would last in this life. He could plan for that. It would affect what decisions he made, that much was clear. Logan wanted to plan his life with someone - another Constant - wanted someone to be around and grow old with him.

 

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