“You’re a freak of nature,” her friend teased, but with a hint of admiration.

  Rae knew that her friend looked up to her a little. Jenny was smart too, but not confident about it. Rae helped her with the assignments sometimes, but mostly Jenny just needed encouragement and focus. Her Interim parents hadn’t finished college and weren’t book-smart, so Jenny had latched onto Rae as a sort of role model.

  “You?” Rae asked, though she could guess the answer. Lately, her friend was more focused on boys than books, she thought fondly.

  “I didn’t finish it,” she admitted. “But I will tonight.”

  Kevin said, “I saw the movie.”

  Roger added, “I saw the Wiki page.”

  “Okay, everyone,” Mrs D said, getting down to business. “The subject today is Frankenstein, by Mary Shelley.”

  A general mumbling swept through the room. It had a low tone. Mostly the boys.

  Jenny whispered mischievously. “Cover for me, pretty please?”

  Rae smiled at her friend.

  Of course I will.

  Mrs D continued, “It’s a short book, and you’ve all had the long weekend to finish it, so I want everyone to participate today.” On the board she wrote the name of the author and title of the book. When she was done, she turned back to face the class. “So who here had a chance to finish it?”

  Rae raised her hand, but only a few others did. The usual suspects. Aaron, Carl, Teresa, Alex and Logan. That surprised her. Logan Suttor was more of a jock than a reader. He liked to talk a big game, but when it came to answering questions from the teacher he usually passed it off and blamed football practice for being late with the homework.

  Must be nice. Some of us have to actually do the work.

  But now Logan had his hand up, too, so maybe she was wrong about him.

  Wouldn’t be the first time.

  He glanced over at Rae and gave her a smile which made her realize she’d been staring right at him. Again.

  Hot blood rushed to her cheeks. She looked away a bit too quickly, and let the hair fall over her face to hide her annoyance.

  She didn’t know why she’d been noticing him lately; he was a jock and kind of a player with the girls, and she’d known him all her life. Her mom was good friends with Logan’s but they’d never really hung out together, nor had Rae any desire to.

  Until lately.

  “Wrong answer,” the teacher said, frowning at some of the kids who didn’t raise their hands. “You all had a chance to finish it. Looks like only a few of you did.” She sat down at her desk. “Okay, who wants to tell me what the book is about?”

  Everyone put their hands back down.

  “Jenny?”

  “Erm, I was … sick.” She punctuated her excuse with a cough.

  “I tend to get more reading done when I’m sick. All that time in bed. How far did you get?”

  “Not very far. Sorry.”

  “Gabriel, did you finish it?”

  “Most of it.” Gabriel was a short kid with acne and glasses. A slow reader but he liked monsters, and Rae had heard him yesterday in the hall talking about one of the movies, the one with Kenneth Branagh, which he didn’t think was any good, but was supposed to be more like the book than the black and white movies.

  “Dr. Frankenstein is the crazy guy who builds a monster and brings him to life, and then the monster terrorizes and kills people.”

  “Okay, good. Who is the hero?”

  “I guess the doctor. Victor Frankenstein.”

  “And who is the antagonist?”

  “I don’t know what that means.”

  “We talked about it last week. Protagonist and antagonist.”

  “I was out,” Gabriel said.

  The teacher checked her roll sheet. “Right.”

  Mrs D locked eyes with Rae. Time seemed to freeze, and she felt her heart skip. Though she loved English class, she hated being the center of attention. “Rae, do you remember what an antagonist is?”

  Okay, I know that one.

  Her heart started working again. “The bad guy,” she said.

  “Yes. The protagonist is the good guy, and the antagonist is the bad guy. Usually. So who do you think is the antagonist is this story?”

  The teacher was still talking to Rae, so she answered, with more confidence this time. “The monster.”

  “Is the monster a bad guy?”

  * * *

  Rae thought about that for a second. “Well, he kills people…”

  “Why does he kill people?”

  “Well - ” she started again, but before she could find the words, Logan jumped in.

  “Because he doesn’t know his own strength.”

  That’s not why, Rae thought, a little annoyed at the interruption, yet at the same time slightly thrilled that it had come from Logan Suttor.

  Mrs D stood and began to walk around the room. “Let’s talk about this idea of a monster. What is a monster? Not this one necessarily,” she clarified, “but the idea of a monster. That’s what Mary Shelley is trying to get at, isn’t it? The central question, the theme. What is a monster?”

  “The monster is life after death,” Logan said in confident velvety tones, like he owned the room. His dark eyes bore into the teacher’s and he flashed his everyone’s-favorite-star-quarterback smile. “He’s like a walking version of hell. Like a punishment or something. It’s unnatural to die and be brought back to life.”

  The teacher nodded automatically.

  Wow, she’s falling for it too. All the guy had to do was smile at the teacher, and get an easy A.

  “So the monster is anything that’s unnatural?” Mrs D asked.

  “Yeah basically. I mean, if you believe nature is good, then going against nature is bad. The doctor goes against nature. He brings the dead back to life, but that’s not natural, and it’s not good. So he’s punished for it, like sinning against the laws of nature or something.”

  “Is a car natural?”

  “No, not really. It’s artificial.”

  “Is a car evil?”

  Logan laughed. “Hell, no. Cars are cool!”

  “But they also kill people.”

  “Drivers kill people.”

  “Well then are cars good or evil?”

  Logan shrugged his broad shoulders. “Neither. They’re just a thing, a tool. It’s what you do with it that matters. Shelley, the author, is emphasizing death. The creature looks dead, like in a horror movie. You see this dude walking down the street, you know he’s a monster. He can’t hide it. He’s a creature of death, and death is evil, and he’s a walking evil dude of death.”

  “Dude of death!” someone echoed.

  It was Caleb, one of Logan’s best buds. Caleb always agreed with Logan, but never had any ideas of his own.

  “The creature is a metaphor,” Rae said eventually, and met Logan’s eye as if to challenge him. “And …” she hesitated.

  “Yes?” the teacher encouraged.

  “I don’t know.” She had an idea swimming in her thoughts, but she couldn’t quite put it into words and Logan staring back at her wasn’t helping. “There’s a kind of connection.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Between Victor Frankenstein and the creature. I think they’re like two sides of the same coin. Or like mirror images, but dark and light.”

  “Excellent, yes. Go on.”

  “It’s death. That’s the whole point.” It was Logan speaking up again. “The doctor is alive, and the creature is dead.”

  She countered his argument, her interest in the subject temporarily superseding anything else. “But the creature isn’t dead. He’s more alive than the doctor, almost. He acts out. He rages, he wonders about things.”

  “He’s a serial killer,” Logan pointed out. “He’s death.”

  The teacher said in a mediating tone, “It’s kind of a similar point, though. The monster acts out the doctor’s passions, and it ends in death. What does that say about the society the doctor lives in?”

  “It’s totally repressed,” Rae said. “And that’s the danger. Society has to keep these passions contained or—”

  “Hey it’s not a romance novel,” he joked and the boys all laughed.

  Rae felt her cheeks redden in annoyance. “That’s not what I meant by passion. I meant anger and fear. Emotion. Something you clearly don’t know anything about.”

  The rest of the class ooohed and Logan met her gaze head-on. She could see in his eyes that he was faintly impressed that she’d dissed him like that. Satisfied, she cocked an eyebrow as if daring him to reciprocate.

  The teacher stepped in. “Okay easy now. Let’s not get personal here. This is a civil discussion. But I think the point is well made on both sides. The Gregorian era, the society of that time was starting to become more controlling, more regulated, more industrialized. It was the beginning of the Industrial Revolution in Britain remember, and science and technology are starting to break down the old structure. Society changes slowly and how are people reacting emotionally when there’s no release from these new pressures? And so the doctor creates a creature that is the id, the seat of the primal human emotions, as Freud might say a generation or two later, and the creature, this primal force, wreaks havoc with society, burns down buildings and kills people.”

  “Yes, the monster is man.” Rae finished, returning her concentration to the task in hand. This was what she’d been trying to put her finger on. “Only man can create monsters. That’s Mary Shelley’s theme.”

  “Nope. It’s death.”

  Rae glared at Logan and continued addressing the teacher. “In Frankenstein, the monster is a menace to most people, except for a little girl. She doesn't see a monster. She sees a friend.

  “Death is nobody's friend. A grim reaper attitude represents everything that's wrong with the world.”

  “Logan, don't make this personal,” the teacher warned again.

  This time Rae addressed Logan. “And you're in denial.”

  Mrs D glanced up at the clock. “Okay, I think we’ll have to leave it there for now. Thanks everyone, you all made excellent points. Now I want you to go home tonight and finish the book if you haven’t, and think about it if you have. You have a paper due tomorrow, and a test first thing, which reminds me by the way—”

  The bell rang.

  Everyone started to rise, and collect their belongings.

  “Wait, hold on,” the teacher continued. “We have a birthday girl today, don’t we? Rae, happy birthday, sweet sixteen. Are you excited about your cryptograph?”

  “Not particularly,” Rae murmured.

  “Why not?”

  “‘Cos I’m not doing it,” she muttered glumly on her way out the door.

  She didn’t want to know her lifespan, her expiration date, appointment with eternity.

  Chapter Three

  “Rae – wait.”

  She felt a tug at her arm then turned and saw Jenny. The two of them stepped aside out of the flow of student traffic and leaned against the row of lockers.

  “What was that all about?” her friend asked.

  “With Logan? It was just a stupid argument. He’s - ”

  “No, about the cryptograph. I thought I heard you say you weren’t doing it.”

  “I’m not.”

  A look of shock washed over Jenny’s face. “Are you serious? I thought you were just thinking about that. I didn’t think you were serious.”

  “I was. And I decided.”

  “When?”

  “Last night. I’m not taking the test. Not today, anyway.”

  “It’s really not a big deal,” Jenny said. “I took it, everyone does.”

  “Just because everyone else does, doesn’t mean I have to,” Rae groaned, irritated. “I don’t want to know. Why would I? What’s the point? Maybe I die tomorrow. Maybe I die in a hundred years. Either way, I’d rather just go on like every day mattered.”

  “Well I know how long I have left. Thirty five years. And every day does matter.”

  “That’s exactly what I mean,” Rae said. “I don’t want to schedule my death on some calendar. I don’t want to be waiting for it, planning for it. I don’t even want to think about it.”

  “But you have to.”

  Rae started walking again. “We’re going to be late.”

  Jenny didn’t say anything for a while. And then she spoke again. “It’s like what Logan was saying in class, about death — ”

  “Don’t even go there. Logan was just being …”

  “Rae yo! Wait up.”

  Speak of the devil …

  “Oh man,” Rae muttered, flustered. “Just keep walking.”

  “Wait—”

  Logan caught up with them and kept pace. “I like what you said about the mirror, and the alter ego. Dark and light. You were onto something there.”

  Rae stopped, turned to him, and crossed her arms. “You’re admitting you were wrong then?”

  He flashed his famous QB smile. “No, I think maybe we were both right. Why don’t we talk about it some more? We have that paper due tomorrow and thought maybe we could catch up after class or something, and put our heads together.”

  “Put our heads together?” She couldn’t help but imagine Logan’s head literally next to hers, him staring into her eyes, that chiseled jaw leaning towards her, close enough to run her fingers through is dark tousled hair. She blushed, and the heat of it made her embarrassed, then angry that she could be so easily affected by him - just like everyone else. “I don’t have time.”

  “Oh right, you’ve gotta take the cryptograph today.”

  “No.”

  “You’re not taking it?”

  “Not until I have to.”

  “But you’re sixteen.”

  “Stop telling me I’m sixteen. I know how old I am. Jeez. Everyone keeps saying it like I don’t know, but it’s all I’ve been thinking about for like a year now, and now it’s here, today, and I don’t like it, but there’s nothing I can do about it, except I’m not taking the stupid test, and I’m not hanging out with you after, and we’re not banging heads.”

  She stormed off, leaving Logan and Jenny standing in her wake.

  Her friend was laughing when she caught up with her. “That was amazing. You’re not banging heads. Wow! Nice one. Believe me, if there’s any guy I’d like to bang heads—or any other body parts—with, it’s Logan Suttor. But you totally blew him off.”

  “Oh, just stop it.” But a hint of a smile passed Rae’s lips.

  “He likes you. I’ve seen him staring at you in class. You should go bang. Heads, I mean. It might do you some good.”

  “As if Logan Suttor ever did any girl good.”

  “Well, if you don’t want him …” Jenny quipped.

  Rolling her eyes, Rae nudged her with her schoolbooks. “He’s all yours.”

  Chapter Four

  Rae avoided her friends at lunch. Normally she sat with Jenny and the girls at one of the tables outside the cafeteria, near the door with a view of the football field, where some of the boys would spend the lunch hour tossing the ball around.

  Jenny enjoyed watching the football players, and Rae didn’t mind. Chloe was going out with Spencer, the kicker for the team and she knew all the jocks, and would let the girls in on gossip about the team. She wasn’t the most reliable source, but she was full of stories about wild parties and crazy away-game adventures. The girls liked to gather and listen as Chloe held court and they all watched the footballers from a safe distance.

  Not today.

  Today Rae wanted to be alone. Birthdays were supposed to be a happy time, but today wasn’t turning out so well, what with the morning drama with her parents, the argument in English class, and then Logan Suttor practically stalking her. That was confusing.

  Probably just wanted to use her to get his homework done.

  Wasn’t that what star football players always did, charm other people into making things easy for them? Whatever he wanted, Rae wasn’t going to make it easy. She certainly wasn’t going to fall for the campus golden boy just because he smiled at her.

  Though in truth he didn’t even need to…

  Still, Logan smiled at all the girls, and any one of them would be happy to write his English paper, just for a little extra attention from the QB and the bragging rights that went with it. Rae didn’t have anything against jocks, necessarily, but she didn’t like being used or conned or charmed into cheating some boy into an A he didn’t deserve.

  And if weirdly, like it seemed lately, Logan did have an interest in her, she didn’t want to be pressured into anything, either. If the rumors were true, at least half the guys on the football team were already sleeping around. Chloe said Brandon, the running back, had gotten a girl at Crosstown pregnant and she wasn’t even sixteen. Supposedly her parents had paid for an abortion and hushed it all up. But you could never really hush up a secret like that. Rae didn’t know the girl and the story might not even be true, but Chloe sure believed it and didn’t mind spreading the news around, so long as it was kept a secret.

  Yeah, right.

  Rae didn’t want anyone spreading any so-called secrets about her and Logan Suttor; that was for sure. And she didn't want to hang with the girls today. She didn't want to talk about her birthday, the cryptograph, Logan, or any of it.

  She didn't even go into the cafeteria, but got some chips and a soda from the vending machine in the gym, and then made her way up the hill behind the school to sit in the grass by one of the trees.

  She ate and thought and threw some chips at the squirrels. They seemed to appreciate it, and soon she had a dozen squirrels inching close, nervous but hungry. Rae could hear the other school kids talking and laughing and arguing and playing in the grass. She looked back down the hill and saw her normal lunch table. Jenny was there and Samantha, and they were chatting. Holding a tray, Chloe went to the table to join them.

  A bunch of boys were running scrimmages on the football field, and some were tossing the ball back and forth, or running tackle drills. The track and field guys were running laps with some of the girls.

 

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