Broken Bonds, page 31
“Still bleeding? More clots?” she asks as she types on the computer near my bedside.
“Yes,” I say, swallowing around the lump in my throat.
Link comes in with my bags just as I hand the nurse the signed paperwork, looking frazzled with his hair sticking up like he’s been running his fingers through it. Grabbing everything she needs to start an IV line for me, the nurse grabs my arm gently to search for a vein, asking me to make a fist for her. As the needle pierces my skin, I wince, and she gives me an apologetic look while she tapes everything down. Once that’s done, she draws some blood before hooking me up to a saline bag. When she leaves, Link comes straight to my side, kissing the side of my head. He tries to hide it, but I can see the fear in his eyes as he leans his forehead against mine.
“They’re going to be okay. Lake wouldn’t let anything happen to them, you hear me?” he whispers, and I close my eyes and nod my head as tears drip onto my gown.
It feels like forever before Doctor Moreno finally comes in and my nerves are frayed. I can’t stop crying and Link hasn’t left my side. He’s holding me up as I try not to completely lose it.
“Okay, mama. Let’s see what’s going on,” she says, her steps hurried as she slips on a pair of gloves after washing her hands.
She has me bend my knees and let my legs fall open, pulling the sheet and my gown up so she can get a look. Link looks at my face the entire time, kissing me when I wince at her prodding. She covers me back up and disposes of her gloves, but I still catch the blood on them. Next, she opens my gown to expose my belly and squirts the gel on me before placing the wand for the ultrasound machine in the same spot. She moves it around, eyes flickering over the screen, and I hold my breath, squeezing Link’s hand in mine in a death grip.
“Any pain, Ramsey?” Doctor Moreno asks me as she moves to my left side.
“Yes. Sharp pains, but bearable. Are they okay?” I whimper, unable to take my eyes off of her.
Letting out a deep sigh, she reluctantly tucks the wand away.
“Two of the babies’ placentas have detached. We’ve got to get you in for an emergency c-section right now to get them out, so we don’t risk you hemorrhaging or clotting complications for you or the babies.”
She looks over at the nurse that came in with her, telling her to let them know we’re on our way up to the OR and to page anesthesiology to be ready. The nurse leaves again and Doctor Moreno looks at me, trying to put on a brave face for me.
“This is it, mama. Time to meet those babies. You ready?”
I sniffle, my lips trembling.
“Tell me they’re going to be okay. Tell me you’ll do everything you can to make sure my babies make it, Isabel. Please,” I plead with her, using her first name for the first time ever.
She grabs ahold of my other hand and squeezes.
“I promise you I will do everything I can to make sure all four of you make it out of that operating room alive.”
After that, my room is a flurry of commotion as multiple people enter. They ready my bed to be wheeled out, raising the side rails. Two nurses take up either side of my bed while Link stays by my head, and they wheel me out as everyone else that came into the room follows close behind us.
We’re almost at the end of the hallway when I hear someone running from the opposite end. Then I hear Forde hollering my name. He comes to a sliding stop on the opposite side of Link and grips my other hand, swiping the hair on my forehead out of the way and wiping away my tears.
“Jillian is on her way, Baby Doll. They were right behind me, so she should be here any minute,” he says, kissing my cheek.
“They can’t wait on her. Will you come with me? I don’t want to do this alone,” I sob, tears streaming down my face as the fear of the unknown threatens to choke me.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Please. I need you with me,” I say, sobbing against his cheek as he rubs it against mine.
“Let’s go meet your babies then,” he whispers, kissing me softly on the lips.
I sniffle, wiping my nose on my gown, and glance over at Link. He smiles at me, but his blue eyes are filled with pain as his concern for me threatens to send him into a tailspin.
“Nothing could pull me from this hospital, Sunshine. I’ll be here when they wheel you out, ready to kiss you all over your beautiful face and meet those babies,” he tells me, leaning down and kissing me on the forehead again.
My eyes close as his lips linger, and when he pulls away, I have a hard time letting go of his hand.
“We’ve got to get you in there now, Ramsey,” Doctor Moreno tells me softly, but urgently, prompting me to let Link go.
I watch him until we go through a set of doors, and they close, cutting him off from me. When they do, I look at Forde, needing his strength more than ever as the feeling of dread tries to overwhelm me.
Chapter Thirty-Six
FORDE
As they wheel Ramsey into the operating room to get her ready, someone hands me a set of scrubs before leading me to a bathroom to change. I don’t even see them, everything around me feeling like a stop motion film. My hands shake uncontrollably as I undress, kicking my jeans into the wall as my frustration at this situation gets the better of me.
Gods, please. Please let her be okay. Please let the babies be okay.
I rip my shirt over my head and growl under my breath.
Why does this have to happen now? When she was so close to having them with no issues. When we were finally getting her to let us in more.
If I lose her, I won’t survive it. And if she loses one or all of those babies, I know she won’t survive it. Not after losing her alphas as well.
I can’t fucking lose her.
Tears blur my vision and I swipe them away angrily, taking deep, heaving breaths as I try to calm myself. I’ve got to be her strength right now. I can’t lose control of my emotions when she’s so fucking vulnerable right now.
So scared.
When Rion told me Ramsey had been trying to get in touch with me and that she was on her way to the hospital because she was bleeding, I nearly lost my godsdamn mind. I ran out of the bar so fast, nearly tripping over my feet in the parking lot as I rushed to my truck, unconcerned with how Rion or Jillian would get to the hospital. My only concern was getting to Ramsey.
But I did see them jumping in Jillian’s car as I spun out of the parking lot of Jinx, so I know they were right behind me.
When I exit the bathroom, a nurse hands me a bag to put my clothes in and takes it from me, then leads me into the operating room. I’m led to a sink to wash my hands and then they help put gloves on me. The room is packed, so many people in such a small area, but all I care about is my omega.
Ramsey is on the table, thick blankets piled on top of her as she shivers beneath them. There’s a piece of fabric put up close to her head, blocking her view of what they’ll be doing when they get the babies out.
I rush to her side immediately, taking a seat on a stool that someone pushes over for me. Gripping her hand in mine, I kiss her knuckles, holding them to my lips, and breathe in her salted caramel scent. She rolls her head to look at me, smiling softly.
“Thank you for being here with me,” she mumbles, and I blink back my tears.
“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but right here to experience this moment with you. I’m so proud of you, Baby Doll. In just a few minutes, you’re going to meet your babies, hold them in your arms. Gods, you are incredible.”
I lean forward and kiss her quickly, unable to help myself.
“Okay, Ramsey. This is it. You should be numb now. Making the first incision,” Ramsey’s doctor calls out, her voice muffled behind her mask.
Ramsey takes a deep breath and squeezes my hand, locking her eyes with mine. The room is silent other than the monitors and the sound of Ramsey breathing, and the next few minutes are tense as we wait.
“Baby A coming out,” Ramsey’s doctor says, and Ramsey holds her breath.
“Will you watch?” she asks me quietly, eyes blinking slowly, and I nod.
Standing up, I watch as the doctor pulls out the smallest squalling infant I’ve ever seen. He has a head full of dark hair and big eyes that are squeezed tightly shut as he scrunches his face angrily and wails.
He’s perfect.
“It’s a boy,” the doctor says, a smile in her voice as she passes him to a nurse, who quickly wraps him in a blanket and holds him up against Ramsey’s cheek for her to see him.
“You have a son,” I whisper in Ramsey’s ear, tears flowing down my cheeks at getting to witness this.
She smiles sleepily against his head and whispers, “Dawson Parker Daniels.”
The nurse quickly takes the baby and puts him in a bassinet before wheeling him out of the room. I can’t take my eyes off Ramsey, worried about how lethargic she seems. She’s struggling to keep her eyes open and my heart pounds in my chest as anxiety courses through my veins.
“Here comes baby B,” the doctor says a few minutes later.
I look over and watch as they pull the second baby out, their tiny face also scrunched up as they cry quietly.
“Another little boy,” the nurse says as she takes him from the doctor to wrap him up.
He has little tufts of blonde hair and the cutest button nose, completely opposite of his brother, but no less perfect.
I look back at Ramsey with a smile that slowly dims.
Her eyes are closed, skin deathly pale, but she still has a smile on her lips. I tap her cheek and her eyes open. She looks at me blearily, and a lump forms in my throat.
“You hear that, Baby Doll? You have another son.”
“Fisher Tate,” she croaks out, her voice sounding weak.
I glance over at the doctor when the monitor for Ramsey’s heart rate goes off, seeing worried eyes look back at me.
“What’s wrong? What’s going on?” I ask frantically.
“She’s hemorrhaging. We need to get the last baby out fast,” the doctor says, but she’s not talking to me.
They work quickly, and before long, the last baby is here.
A little girl with thick copper hair and chubby cheeks that I instantly fall in love with and know without a doubt I will protect with my whole being. All three of them.
When I look at Ramsey, her lips are chapped, face ashen, and eyes closed peacefully.
“You have a daughter, baby. Come on, tell me her name,” I croak against her cheek, my tears splashing against her.
She doesn’t move, doesn’t open her eyes, and then all hell breaks loose.
She flat lines, and my heart stops. I don’t even realize that I’m hollering her name until I hear the doctor tell someone to get me out of the room.
A few of the nurses that were in here left when they took the babies to the NICU as they came out, and the nurses still in here quickly rush me out of the room. I fight against them, not wanting to leave Ramsey. They try to calm me down, but I can’t hear anything they say.
“Ramsey!” I roar, my voice echoing through the hallways.
Falling to my knees, I cover my face with my hands when the doors shut in front of me, and I can’t see her anymore.
The sound of several sets of pounding feet running towards me doesn’t make me look up, nor do the hands on my shoulders and back. I know it’s Link, Rion, and Jillian, but I can’t speak right now. I can vaguely hear them talking to the nurses that brought me out here, but I don’t hear their words.
My mind is racing, fear for the omega that stole my fucking heart overwhelming me.
She flat lined.
I can’t fucking breathe, my chest heaving as I struggle to pull in air.
I’ve lost her.
There’s a dull roar echoing in my ears the longer I stare at those closed doors separating me from my omega.
Her heart stopped.
My skin itches, the need to be near her, to hold her and smell her, beyond overwhelming. Tears stream down my face as I clutch my head, bending until my forehead nearly touches the floor. A deep, mournful moan full of pain rips free from my throat, my soul feeling like it’s fractured, and I’m not even bonded to her.
Jillian kneels in front of me and grabs my cheeks, forcing me to look at her. Her voice sounds muffled to my ears until she finally breaks through the fog.
“Forde, breathe. She’s going to be okay. Do you hear me? They’ll bring her back. Ramsey is so strong. She won’t leave us. She won’t leave those babies. Just breathe with me,” she says, tear tracks staining her cheeks as she tries to talk me down, but I can’t focus on anything she’s saying.
Instead, for the first time in years, I pray.
I pray to the gods to save her.
I pray to her alphas not to take her from me yet.
I beg and plead and bargain with them all to send her back to me.
I pray right there in the middle of the hospital floor that she’ll come back to me, to us, and I don’t move until Rion and Link physically force me to.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
RAMSEY
Everything is dark, but I think my eyes are open.
Are they open?
How did I get here? Where is here?
It feels like I’m floating in an endless void. I feel weightless, like a feather falling softly from the sky. And then I hear it.
The sweetest little cry, calling to me, tugging on my heart.
I turn my head, or I think I do, listening for the sound that seems to echo all around me. I blink, and as I do, the darkness fades until I’m standing in an operating room. The room is a flurry of motion as monitors go off and the people in the room work on whoever is on the table. I can hear a roar in the distance, somewhere outside of the room, but I feel compelled to step closer to the table.
Looking down in confusion, I note that it’s me. But it’s not. Right now, it’s just an empty vessel without my soul in it. My eyes are closed as my doctor works to bring me back, and I look deathly pale. It’s honestly kind of terrifying to be looking at myself like this.
“Charge,” I hear before someone places paddles on me.
I feel the electricity as it shocks my physical body, and I gasp when it feels like a live wire is flooding my system. There’s a pull to my body, like a fishing hook has been thrown out to catch me and reel me back in. Then everything slows down before everyone around me freezes, and it no longer feels like I’m being sucked into a vortex. It’s like time has completely stopped, but I can still move.
I glance around the room, but don’t see my babies or Forde.
Oh gods.
Forde.
I turn and rush out, sprinting down the hallway as I look for Forde. For Link, Rion, and Jillian. The hall is empty, everything seems to be coated in a haze, but I keep going, looking everywhere for them until I find the waiting room. And there they are.
They’re all huddled around Forde, tears staining their faces. The sight of Forde hunched over with his hands gripping his hair and a look of pure anguish twisting his features is enough to break anyone’s heart. All I want to do is crawl into his lap and hold his cheeks, to tell him I’m here for him, but I know he won’t be able to hear me.
Rion sits on Forde’s right, staring at the wall, eyes unseeing, with his hands clenched in his lap as he leans on his knees. He looks haunted, frozen the way he is terrified on my behalf.
Jilly is putting up a brave front, but her eyes betray her anguish. It pains me to see my best friend —who has always been my rock and source of support— hurting because of me. Despite her own emotional turmoil, she’s trying her best to stay strong for the men who have been instrumental in helping me heal these last few months. Gods, I love her so damn much.
When I look at Link, his forehead is pressed to Forde’s shoulder, eyes clenched shut. A tear sits frozen on his lashes, ready to drop onto Forde’s shirt the minute time starts moving again.
If time would just tick and I could get back into my body, maybe, just maybe, I could save them this torment. To stop the fractures forming within their hearts. But how?
I hear a baby’s cry again. And then another, pulling my attention away from my loved ones. I feel like I’m floating again as I make my way down the hall, the crying seeming to get louder the farther I go until I’m at the NICU. When I look through the window, I don’t see anything, and the crying has stopped, but I can hear whispers. There are voices cooing and talking softly, so I push through the door, stopping in my tracks when it closes behind me.
Four familiar pairs of eyes turn and look at me, and a sob catches in my throat.
“Hey there, Petal. You’re not supposed to be here yet,” Lake says, a sad smile appearing on his lips.
They’re all here.
My alphas.
“Well, are you going to come meet our babies or not?” Rule asks, grinning at me and looking just as gorgeous as he did before the accident.
I look at him quizzically and make my way over to where they’re all standing, surrounding three bassinets with the tiniest little beings inside them. All three have oxygen tubes in their noses, but other than that, they look healthy. Just small. Beautiful.
Tears fill my eyes as I look back at Rule.
“They didn’t make it either?” I cry, covering my face with my hands.
I failed.
They didn’t even get to really live.
“Hey, no. Starfire, they’re alive. They’re perfect. You just…” Rule sighs, wrapping his arms around me. “You lost a lot of blood and there were a few complications.”
“Come on, why don’t we sit and talk while we can?” Ollie says, coming over and grabbing my hand.
He smiles at me, that adorable boy next door smile I fell in love with all those years ago, and I give him a teary smile back, following him when he leads me over to some hospital recliners nearby.
“I’ve missed all of you so much,” I say when I sit down and finally get to look at them all.
“We’ve missed you too, Princess. So damn much. I’m so sorry. It’s my fault we’re gone, and watching you suffer in the beginning because of my stupidity has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Not being able to hold you and comfort you when you needed it nearly broke me,” Van says, kneeling in front of me.
