When You Were Mine, page 1
When You Were Mine
Jordan Marie
Copyright © 2019 by Penny Dreams LLC
All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever, including but not limited to being stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the written permission of the author.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, groups, businesses, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Cover Designer by: Sarah Hansen
Photographer: Wander Aguiar
Models: Kerry Smart & Tiffany
WARNING: This book contains sexual situations, violence and other adult themes. Recommended for 18 and above.
Created with Vellum
To My Husband.
Happy Anniversary. Thirty years have flown by.
May we ride through this world with many more years together.
I love you more today than yesterday and I never forget to thank the Lord for bringing you into my life.
J.
Contents
Title
Blurb
Prologue
1. Chapter One
2. Chapter Two
3. Chapter Three
4. Chapter Four
5. Chapter Five
6. Chapter Six
7. Chapter Seven
8. Chapter Eight
9. Chapter Nine
10. Chapter Ten
11. Chapter Eleven
12. Chapter Twelve
13. Chapter Thirteen
14. Chapter Fourteen
15. Chapter Fifteen
16. Chapter Sixteen
17. Chapter Seventeen
18. Chapter Eighteen
19. Chapter Nineteen
20. Chapter Twenty
21. Chapter Twenty-One
22. Chapter Twenty-Two
23. Chapter Twenty-Three
24. Chapter Twenty-Four
25. Chapter Twenty-Five
26. Chapter Twenty-Six
27. Chapter Twenty-Seven
28. Chapter Twenty-Eight
29. Chapter Twenty-Nine
30. Chapter Thirty
31. Chapter Thirty-One
32. Chapter Thirty-Two
33. Chapter Thirty-Three
34. Chapter Thirty-Four
35. Chapter Thirty-Five
36. Chapter Thirty-Six
37. Chapter Thirty-Seven
38. Chapter Thirty-Eight
39. Chapter Thirty-Nine
40. Chapter Forty
41. Chapter Forty-One
42. Chapter Forty-Two
43. Chapter Forty-Three
44. Chapter Forty-Four
45. Chapter Forty-Five
46. Chapter Forty-Six
47. Chapter Forty-Seven
48. Chapter Forty-Eight
49. Chapter Forty-Nine
50. Chapter Fifty
51. Chapter Fifty-One
52. Chapter Fifty-Two
53. Chapter Fifty-Three
54. Chapter Fifty-Four
55. Chapter Fifty-Five
56. Chapter Fifty-Six
57. Chapter Fifty-Seven
58. Chapter Fifty-Eight
59. Chapter Fifty-Nine
60. Chapter Sixty
61. Chapter Sixty-One
62. Chapter Sixty-Two
63. Chapter Sixty-Three
64. Chapter Sixty-Four
65. Chapter Sixty-Five
66. Chapter Sixty-Six
67. Chapter Sixty Seven
68. Chapter Sixty-Eight
69. Chapter Sixty-Nine
Epilogue
Before We Fall Sneak Peek
Social Media Links
Also by Jordan Marie
Stone Lake Series
Book 2
I loved a boy.
Gavin Lodge.
He was sweet, gentle, kind and he made me feel alive.
Letting him go was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life.
A hundred times I wished I had done things differently.
A thousand times I wished I had gone with him.
A million times I wished he had chosen me.
I didn’t. Neither did he.
Now he’s back.
No longer a boy, but a man.
I can’t love him again.
It almost destroyed me once and I won’t let that happen again.
That should be the end of it.
And maybe it would have been.
If someone wasn’t trying to kill me…
Prologue
Gavin
* * *
“Why did you leave me, Gavin? I needed you.”
I jerk awake. My heart beating rapidly, and a cold, clammy sweat covering my body. I throw my legs over the side of the bed, bend down almost to my knees, my hands holding my head. I breathe deep, until I get a hold of myself, then I get up and walk into my bathroom. I turn the shower nozzle until it’s definitely more cold than hot and get in.
The icy water runs over my body forcing any urge to sleep out of my system. I grab the body wash and rub it against my face and neck, my eyes closed tightly.
Luna’s face is there waiting.
It never fails. You would think after thirteen years she wouldn’t haunt me. It doesn’t happen all the time, but anytime I have this nightmare, she’s there waiting for me in my mind… torturing me.
Sometimes the craziest things can bring on the nightmare. I’ll see someone on the street that reminds me of Luna. I’ll hear someone laugh and it sounds exactly like her. Other times it’s a sunset that reminds me of one I watched with her on that old dock years ago. Tonight’s nightmare wasn’t because of any of those.
It was because of the orders I got from Quantico.
Another murder.
That’s nothing new. It’s my job and I’ve been doing it long enough to know that there is nothing surprising. People are good and bad, but there are some that are evil to their very core. Those are the people I hunt. That’s what I do.
My hand goes automatically to the scar on my side.
That’s what almost killed me…
No, getting orders from Quantico, is nothing new. Although, it usually revolves around cases in and near Montana, since that’s where I work the majority of time. I work out of the Montana field office, so that’s to be expected.
Today the orders weren’t about Montana. Tonight they want me to go to Maine.
Christ.
I never wanted to step foot back in Maine.
Never.
Turning the shower off, I reach for a towel, and step out. I pat myself dry enough and then hook the soft cotton around my body, exiting the bathroom and going to the phone. The bedside clock says three in the morning. It’s too fucking late to be calling, but I dial.
“This better be good, Kid,” Lawrence says when he answers.
“Don’t pretend you were sleeping.”
“Hell no. I wouldn’t care if I was sleeping. You interrupted my drinking.”
“Did you know?”
“Know what?” he asks.
“Know that Brass was going to order me to go to Maine.”
“Fuck.”
“You can say that again,” I mutter.
I hear him take another drink and slam a glass or maybe a whole damn bottle down.
“What part?”
“Stone fucking Lake,” I answer, the words feeling as if they burn my throat as I say them.
“You could tell them no.”
“You know that won’t work, Dern.”
“Yeah, I know. What are you going to do?”
“Go to Stone Lake. They think it’s the Cremator.”
“They should have never named that son of a bitch,” Lawrence grumbles. “Just gives these sick fucks a taste of fame.”
“Yeah, probably,” I agree.
“You there, Boy?”
“Christ, Lawrence, I don’t want to go back to that shithole.”
“Wrong. At least don’t lie to yourself. You don’t want to see her.”
“She might not be living in Stone Lake anymore.” I cup the back of my neck and part of me is hoping that’s the truth—the other part of me is hoping she’s still there. Always where Luna is concerned… there’s chaos in my head.
“She is.” My chest squeezes at his words.
My brows knit together, and my lips turn down. “How do you know?” My mouth hangs open, and I blink away an image of her that flashes through my mind.
“I might have checked up on her through the years. She’s never left Stone Lake.”
I recover from the initial shock. It’s one thing to think she’d be there but another to know that she truly never left. “That’s not surprising. She sure wouldn’t leave the place for me. It doesn’t matter anyway. It’s been thirteen years. She’s probably married with kids,” I tell him, even if that thought is painful.
“Probably. Women like that kind of thing.”
“What would you know about it?”
“Not a damn thing and that’s how I like it. I thought you were following in my footsteps.”
“I am.”
“Nah. You’re just still stuck in the past.” He’s not entirely right, but he sure as hell isn’t wrong either.
“You want to go to Maine with me? They said I could pick my partner.”
“You don’t need an old has been like me with you, Kid.”
“I trust you and that’s definitely something I need in Stone Lake.”
“There’s a reason I’m on a desk. Take Clayton with you. He’s a good agent, even if he is a little green.”
“I want you.”
“Jesus, you’re a demanding little prick.”
“I’ll be at your house tomorrow night, be packed and make sure you’re sober.”
“Were you always such a bossy S.O.B.?”
“Later, Dern.”
“Later, Kid.”
I hang up the phone and stare at the wall, seeing nothing, simply thinking over the turn that my life has taken in the last twenty-four hours.
Whether I want to or not….
I’m coming home to Stone Lake…. And I’m going to see Luna again….
Chapter One
Gavin
I see her standing there. I’m maybe ten yards in front of her, but it might as well be a million miles.
Luna Marshall.
The woman that has haunted me for years. The woman I left behind to start over. I’m sure she hated me back then. Hell, even now, thirteen years later, she probably still hates me. I can’t blame her. I hate myself for leaving her.
I don’t want to, but I take a step toward her.
And then another.
It actually becomes automatic, my body moving without me telling it to. Of course, whenever I got near Luna, gravity seemed to pull me to her. That apparently hasn’t changed through the years.
She’s maybe ten feet in front of me now, and I can see her so clearly that it’s a little painful.
Luna hasn’t changed much over the years. Her body has filled out more, matured, rounded from girl to woman. Her golden blonde hair is shorter, falling just to her shoulders. Some things always remain the same though. Even over the crowd, I can hear her voice. It’s as soft and sweet as I’ve always remembered.
“Gavin Lodge! Is that you?”
I see the exact moment that Luna hears my name. She looks up and it’s all written there on her face.
Shock.
Fear.
Anger.
Hurt.
Thirteen years and still every bit of that is written on her face. Thirteen years is not enough to make her forget.
To make either one of us forget.
“That’s me, Wally. How in the hell are you?” I ask, pulling my gaze from Luna to look at the man I once considered my best friend.
“Doing good,” he says, stepping back and his arm loosely goes around Luna. Her body language reads stiff, but after a moment she relaxes. “Just had my second child,” he says.
That feels like a fucking sucker punch. Wally and Luna? I never saw that coming. I would have never guessed it and it feels bitter in my gut.
“Luna, how are you?” I put on a fake smile and concentrate on breathing.
I’ve been alternately dreading this moment and looking forward to it. I’ve definitely been dreaming about it, but those dreams have turned into nightmares on more than one occasion.
“Gavin. We heard you were coming back into town.”
“Yeah. I go where the case takes me,” I tell her and it’s not a lie, I do. I just never planned on it bringing me full circle—never planned on it bringing me to Luna’s doorstep.
“It’s still hard to believe you’re an FBI man,” Wally laughs.
“Been one for a lot of years,” I remind him. “I hate like hell that I have to be in Stone Lake for work, though.”
That’s the truth.
The God’s honest truth.
“I heard that. I hope you manage to get them, before they strike again.”
I don’t say anything. There’s not much to say to that. Everyone knows why I’m here. This serial killer has garnered national attention for months. He’s created havoc in twenty states and we still haven’t caught him. I never dreamed he’d end up in Stone Lake, but then I’ve never had the best of luck.
“You’re looking good, Luna,” I tell her. It’s a stupid thing to say, but I can’t not say it.
Her body jolts. I see it before she takes a second to lock it down.
“I’ll see you around, Wally,” she addresses him not bothering to reply to me. “Tell Meghan to call me.”
“Will do, honey. See you tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow,” she says. Then, she surprises me by turning around to look at me. “Goodbye, Gavin.”
She walks away like that, with her head held high and I let her go, because I fucking lost the right to ask her to stay thirteen years ago… when I was the one to walk away.
“You two aren’t married?” I question Wally, because that’s the one thing my brain latches onto during their exchange.
“What? Oh hell. Not at all. Luna would get a kick out of you saying that though. Her and my Meghan are close though.”
“Meghan?”
“My wife, you probably don’t remember her. She went to school with us but didn’t hang around with the same crowd. Her and Luna have grown close, especially since our kids are in school together.”
The hits just keep coming. This one harder, more intense, and the burn nearly cripples me.
Luna has a child.
I knew it would be a possibility, but I didn’t want it to be a reality. Years of experience keeps my voice steady and my face void of any reaction.
“Luna has a kid now. Hard to believe,” I rub my face, wishing I didn’t know. That will be another small piece of knowledge that will haunt me long after I leave Stone Lake in the dust.
“Yeah, Josh is a good kid, too. Luna and Attie did good.”
“Attie?” I ask, the name squeezing something inside of me that I thought was frozen a long time ago.
“Yeah. Fuck. You don’t know, do you?”
“Know what?”
“Attie… Shit, man.”
My brother. Atticus. Luna and my brother. I thought the other blows were bad, but this one is harder than all of those combined and they don’t hit me…
They rip through me.
My voice drops and splinters along with the part of my heart that still feels. “I didn’t know,” I tell Wally, and I don’t think I keep emotion out of my voice this time. I can’t.
“Her and Atticus were living together when he died. I can’t believe you didn’t know,” Wally says, not realizing he just lodged the punch that has enough power to bring me to my knees.
“You remember my brother and I didn’t get along. I didn’t bother to stay in touch with him once I left,” I tell him, leaving it at that. My jaw ticks at the thought of my asshole brother.
“That’s tough, man. I guess I just assumed that changed with age. Though, I knew you didn’t come to Atticus’s funeral, but we all heard how you were in the hospital. They said you almost died.”
“Over exaggeration,” I answer, completely lying. I touch the scar on my side—the one that almost killed me. The one that I was glad was there, if only because it gave me an excuse to stay away from Stone Lake back then. It’s also the one delivered by the very serial killer I’m here to catch. Life, it seems, is big on irony.
“I better get, Wally. I need to report to the local police department in the morning and introduce myself. Then, I need to start hunting this asshole and see where the clues take me.”
