Hoopee Do, page 15
part #16 of Bob and Nikki Series
“That’s fine, Tina. I just need to ask someone some questions about an old warrant, and what the Patrol might want done about it.”
“Go ahead, then.”
I gave her the details, and she looked it up. “I should have known you weren’t kidding when you said the warrant was old. I don’t understand why it would still be active after so long.”
“I don’t either, but the fellow in question isn’t from around here, so I’m thinking bringing him in would cause more trouble than it’s worth.”
“You’re saying the fellow this warrant was issued against is one of your friends from out of town?”
“No, I can’t say he’s my friend. So far, he’s pretty much of a pain in my behind. Besides which, he’s not one of any of the folks we’ve met before.”
“Hang on one, Bob.”
I heard doors closing. Tina said, “I’m a little more secure than I was, Bob. Did you just say you made first contact with a species, and the fellow you met has paper out on him in the Commonwealth?”
“I did. Do you have any advice on how to proceed?”
“It’s going to take a minute for me to get up to speed here, Bob. How was he able to pass for human, to get this paper issued on him, in the first place?”
“He doesn’t look that odd, if he keeps his tail hidden. His folks appear to be descended from monkeys, rather than apes.”
“So, you’re saying that if you brought him in, as soon as he hit the showers in prison, his secret would be out?”
“That would appear to be the case, yes Ma’am.”
“What do you propose?”
“He also has paper out on him, where he comes from. Would it be acceptable to turn him in on that, and call it good?”
“It says here he got away with some high-tech research material. Do you happen to know what became of that?”
“I’m pretty sure Steve destroyed all of it, getting to his saucer. He hung it all up for a booby-trap.”
“I’m lost, Bob. What did he steal?”
“Monomolecular wire, as near as we can tell. He had it rigged for a booby-trap around his ship.”
“If I knew what that was, I’m sure I would be more scared than I am.”
“Wire thin enough to cut through just about anything, with very little force. If you were to, say, walk into it, unawares, you’d be sliced to ribbons, before you knew what hit you.”
“Nasty. Why would anybody make such a thing?”
“It has industrial applications. Our boy Hoopee seemed to think that there were other things it was good for.”
“Hoopee, did you say?”
“That’s what he introduced himself as. Whether that has any connection to reality is anyone’s guess.”
“Well, Bob, the one thing I can say for sure is that I’m glad you’re the one dealing with this, and not me. I can’t imagine anybody in the Patrol wants anything to do with it. Deal with him as you see fit, and if anyone asks, we never had this conversation.”
“Clear enough. That’s what I expected, but I wanted to make sure, before I did anything I couldn’t take back.”
“Thanks for checking in, Bob. Wish we could still play paintball once in a while.”
“So do I. Good talking to you, Tina.”
“And you. Bye, Bob.”
“Bye, Tina.”
I noticed the transit was waiting for me to exit, and I said, “Thanks, Gene.”
“No problem, Boss. All part of the service.”
I met Milly as I was headed for the door. She said, “It was good to get to weld again. Thanks, Boss.”
“You’re welcome. Just wish I could come up with an excuse to do it myself.”
“Dream on, Boss. Important people like you don’t get to weld.”
“I know. There’s no way he can access ship’s systems from where he is, is there?”
“Nope. Even the Commonwealth Navy was smart enough not to route any data or power through those walls.”
“I still feel like we’re playing into his hand, even so.”
“No matter how slick he is, Boss, you can’t pick a weld.”
“That’s the truth. Angus and the boys will keep an eye on him, anyhow. I should let them do their job, and quit worrying.”
“Don’t do that, Boss. You worrying is the thing that keeps us all safe, way out here in the black.”
“Understood. Have you heard anything out of your Grandma, lately?”
“I haven’t heard anything since you talked to her, if that’s what you mean. I guess you’ll have to check in yourself, if you want to know how it’s going with your Mom.”
“That’s not nearly as scary as it once was.”
“Grandma is doing a lot better, isn’t she?”
“Yep. I, for one, am glad to see it.”
“I don’t doubt that a bit. I’ve got a big day tomorrow, Boss. I need to turn in.”
“I probably should, too. No telling what we’ll find out tomorrow.”
From my perspective, it seemed like I snuggled into Nikki, and then Snitz licked my ear. Since time had passed, I must have gotten some sleep in there, but I was out like a light. I got up, and got ready to face the day. Then I took Snitz to deal with his business. Jim was there, with Molly. “Morning, Boss.”
“Morning, Jim. Afraid I’m going to have to put you and Janice to work today.”
“You want us to interview the new fella?”
“No, I want to let him rot in his cell, for causing so much trouble and not being worth the effort. But letting you two interview him is the right thing to do, and I’m trying to be a good Admiral and all.”
“You don’t think he knows much that will be useful to us?”
“I’ve yet to see a truthful word come out of his mouth. Lies aren’t going to tell us much, are they?”
“I see what you mean, Bob. If he’s not even willing to tell the truth when he’s not in custody, why would we expect him to be any help when he is?”
“You hit the nail on the head. I’m almost sure he knows things that would be useful to us, but I’ve yet to see how to get straight answers out of him.”
“Janice and I will see what we can do. She’s still upset from letting that one fella through, when we interviewed those Guide fellows that wanted to join up.”
“She’ll be more careful with this turkey, then. That’s good. He seems to be a slippery gent.”
“Bob, if I didn’t know you better, I’d think you’ve got a dislike of this gentleman.”
“Well, Preacher, I’m trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but he just keeps removing all the doubt. Kinda makes it difficult, don’t you know?”
“I can see how that would be a problem. Maybe we can impress upon him the gravity of his situation.”
“Don’t take any chances. He’s already tried to take over the Gene, even if it was a lame effort.”
“Understood.”
We went to breakfast, and then I went by the office. Jeeves hooked me up, and I learned more about being mannerly. When I came out of it, I asked, “How many more of those do you think I need, Jeeves?”
“I have two more that I think will do you some good. We should be done by tonight.”
“Sounds good. Do you have any other subjects you think I need to brush up on?”
“I don’t know of anything, Boss. Sally was pretty thorough.”
“If you think of anything, don’t be afraid to tell me.”
“Understood, Boss.”
I headed over to the bridge, to check in with Topper, and see if anything was happening in our little corner of the universe today. He said everything had been quiet since I had talked to him last, but we were expecting a freighter from the Aldrin later in the day, with the fellow who had been looking for our prop man. I headed down to Engineering, to check in with Scotti. I wasn’t in a hurry, so I decided to walk. Good thing I did. About halfway there, I found Sit, asleep, leaned against the wall. I picked her up, as gently as I could, and took her to her room. I tucked her in, and slipped out. When I got to Engineering, Scotti was showing Mingus and Rangolus where they could set up. When she finished, she came over and said, “Hi, Boss. Checking up on me?”
“I sure am. You must have got the word. Looks like you’ve put away all the contraband.”
“Yep. You can’t trust us bots, we’re all in it together.”
“Anything happening I need to know about?”
“Lilly is whizzed off, because I pulled Velma to work on that new saucer. Their tech doesn’t seem to be anything special, so far. All we’ve really gained is Frank’s insight on the sensors. Thanks for giving him a team, by the way. I think he had decided you were just putting up with him. He’s happier than I’ve seen him for a while.”
“Glad I could help. Any luck with their hull metal?”
“Even with the scandium, it won’t be as strong as what we’re already using. I sent a request to the shipyard to build new hulls for all the scout ships in the fleet, with the best mix I could come up with.”
“Good deal. What do you think we can do about that bot they brought in?”
“I’ve got Thump working to adapt one of our power cores to his architecture. He may still wind up with an unsightly bulge, but Thump is doing his best.”
“I’m sure it will be great, then. Any idea when you might be ready to wake him up?”
“Late today, I’m thinking, unless Thump finds more problems.”
“Sounds good. Call me before you wake him, if you would.”
“Of course, Boss.”
“I’ll let you get back to it, then. See you later.”
“Later, Boss.”
I decided to go by the brig, and see if Jim and Janice were having any luck. Paddy was out front. He snapped to and saluted. “Good morning, Admiral Sir.”
I returned his salute, and said, “Paddy, you know better than all that. The only thing saving you, is that I don’t know where bots are ticklish.”
“Sure, and it’s grateful I am for that, Boss.”
“Have Jim and Janice gotten started with our new guest?”
“The little fellow with the tail? They’re speaking with him, I don’t know how much listening he might be doing.”
“I was afraid that might happen. Was he much trouble?”
“A great help he was. We learned all sorts of cuss words in his language, when your daughter’s friend welded him in. Seemed to think it was dirty pool.”
“What about when you got him out, to be interviewed?”
“Well then, that was our turn to educate him. Seems we’re not as slow as the bots he’s used to.”
“Clumsy fellow, then? Fell down on the way to the interview room?”
“Only the once, Boss. No bones were broken.”
“Sounds about right. His attitude any better after that?”
“Not that we could tell, Boss. He just seemed to decide to wait for a better chance.”
“So, he’ll have a fit, when we weld him back in?”
“I have no doubt about that.”
“I’m assuming Gene has been recording everything he says in his own language, to build a translation?”
“What is it you always say, Boss? We were built at night, but it wasn’t last night.”
“Good work. I’m going to go see how it’s going.”
“Good talking to you, Boss.”
“You, too, Paddy.”
When I got to the observation room, Hoopee was giving the two of them a hard time. Going on about how they were Patrol, and they couldn’t do anything to him, because he was a suspect. I truly wished Dingus was here, but I would have to do my best. I summoned up all the fury I could, and stormed into the room. I grabbed him by the throat, and held him against the wall, with his feet off the floor. I said, “Listen up, runt. Just because you have a tail to pick your nose with, doesn’t make you anything special, here. We’re not Patrol, and we don’t care about the paper they have out on you. It would be simpler all around to collect on the paper your people have out on you.” I pulled my pistol, and stuffed it in his nose. “Your objective is to convince me that I would rather bother with keeping you breathing, than just send you outside for a walk. You seem to be way more trouble than you’re worth to us.” I finally got the reaction I was trying for, and the little booger almost got some on my boots. “I see I have your attention. You are going to tell these nice people what they want to know, or I’ll be back to see if a trip to the airlock improves your attitude.” I let him down, and stormed out. I went back to the observation room. Angus was there. He said, “Good job, Boss. You met a whole new species, and he needed a mop in under a minute. I think that’s a record, even for you.”
“Has it improved his attitude?”
“I think that depends on the standards you decide to measure by, Boss. He’s talking, but nearly everything out of his mouth is a lie.”
“So, he’s just wasting their time, hoping to find a way to escape?”
“I don’t know about the escape, Boss, but he’s surely wasting their time.”
“Come with me. Let’s see if we can get his attention.”
Angus followed me back to the interview room. I burst through the door again. “You don’t think we can tell when you’re lying, runt? I guess I need to get your attention, don’t I?” I held him, and said, “Angus, unlock the chain holding him to the floor. We’re going on a field trip, since he’s being such a good student.”
We walked to the nearest airlock. I handed Hoopee to Angus, saying, “Hold this garbage.”
I locked the outer door, so that he couldn’t suicide, and Angus put him in. I vented it down to the pressure at 10,000 feet, and stopped. Angus and I looked at him, and he still looked defiant. I took him up to 15,000 feet. He was beginning to look concerned, and seemed to be having a bit of trouble getting his breath. I looked at Angus. “Does that look like an act, to you?”
“It does, Boss. I don’t think he’s having anywhere near as much trouble as he wants us to think.”
Gene spoke, in English. “Boss, am I correct in assuming the purpose of this exercise is to deprive Hoopee of oxygen, and put him in fear for his life?”
I answered, also in English, “You are.”
“The partial pressure of oxygen in the airlock is much higher than it would normally be at that pressure. I can only conclude that his flight suit, like yours, is capable of providing him with oxygen, if the need arises.”
“Thank you, Gene.”
I ran the pressure back up to normal, and opened the lock. I had Angus hold him, while I removed his suit. Then Angus put him back in, and we started again. I got a demonstration of what Paddy was talking about. Hoopee cussed a blue streak, for two or three minutes, and if he ever repeated himself, I didn’t catch it. Before we got too far into the process, I spoke to Gene, in English again. “Gene, could you have Dixie send up a team, with equipment for hypoxia, and have them keep out of sight?”
“You need another team, Boss?”
“Good work, Gene.”
At fifteen thousand, Hoopee was showing what looked to be real distress. I asked Angus, in Commonwealth, “Feel like a game of checkers?”
“I could go for two or three, Boss.”
We walked off toward the office. Once we were out of earshot, I asked, “Do you think we got his attention?”
Angus replied, “If we didn’t, we’re not going to, Boss.”
We put the surveillance cam from the airlock up on the monitor in Angus’ office, and got out the checkers. After a couple of games, I asked, “Do you think he’s convinced we’re serious?”
“He could be, but he’s a hard case. I think we should cut the pressure again, and let him think on it.”
We went out, and he was happy to see us, thinking we would let him out. I ran him up another thousand feet, and we went back to our checkers. When we got to the office, we could see he was genuinely concerned at this point. We gave him a couple more games to think on it, and then went back to look in on him. When he saw me, he began babbling in his native language. I said, “Commonwealth, please. We’ve yet to decode your language.”
“I’ll tell you what you want to know. Please let me back in the ship.”
For once, I didn’t see any signs of deception. I said, “I think it would be better to call the interviewers down here, in case you change your mind, once you can breathe again.”
