Old Dogs, Older Tricks, page 1
part #2 of Junkyard Pirate Series
Old Dogs, Older Tricks
Jamie McFarlane
Contents
Preface
1. Gilded Cage
2. Get 'em, Ray
3. A Plague Upon
4. The Whole is Greater
5. Maelstrom
6. Pickle
7. Welcome to the Tribe
8. Dust Off
9. Kraken
10. Sea Change
11. The Ocean Blue
12. Poison Pill
13. For Meatloaf
14. Starting Over
15. Babel Fish
16. In a Flash
17. Plan B
18. In the Family
19. Goldilocks and the Bairds
20. General Displeasure
21. Inside Job
22. Swamp Talk
23. Locked and Loaded
24. Bug Juice
25. Cookie Duster
Epilogue
About the Author
Acknowledgments
Also by Jamie McFarlane
Preface
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1
Gilded Cage
"What a pile of crap," Albert Jenkins said. "Beverly is royalty. You'd think she'd have access to a nicer place than this damn windowless hut."
"Any word from her yet?" Darnell asked. The two men were stretched out on opposite ends of a thickly padded couch. Their friendship had been forged decades ago while serving together in Vietnam.
"Not a freaking peep," AJ grumbled, waving at a wall panel to switch from an old Diamondbacks baseball game to an even older Arizona State football game. Greybeard snuffled at the edge of the couch and scratched softly at his leg. AJ lifted the heavily muscled dog next to him and smoothed his gray fur back. "Seriously, would one window kill them? We've been trapped in here for days. I'm about to go insane."
"I got a glimpse outside when we transferred from the shuttle," Jayne piped up from an overstuffed chair. "There wasn't much to see. It was all red dirt and mountains. Hard to imagine how any species evolved in such a place." Doctor Amanda Jayne had been a late addition to the close-knit team, although she too had earned her stripes in Vietnam as a surgeon.
As if summoned by AJ's grousing, the image of a ten-inch-high woman wearing a formal black robe appeared on the edge of the table between AJ and Darnell. "I apologize for my extended absence," Beverly announced. "There were many questions regarding my team's survey mission to Earth. It is not too strongly said that Mother was quite angry I undertook such a dangerous mission."
"What's the plan, BB? Is the Galactic Congress going to send a ship back to Earth and run those damn Korgul off planet?" AJ asked. BB was the nickname he’d assigned to her … Beverly from Beltigersk.
"The Galactic Congress Subcommittee on Sentient Rights has formed a panel to review the data gathered from the survey. After initial review, the panel's recommendation is that the Sentient Rights subcommittee formally review this data for future presentation to the congressional subcommittee on interstellar trade practices," Beverly said, uncomfortable in her delivery. "I requested that the Sentient Rights panel send a delegation to Earth to gather additional data in order to expedite the elevation of Beltigersk's complaint against Korgul. That request is under consideration."
"Holy crap, BB," AJ said. "I feel like you just used a hundred words to tell me the Galactic Congress doesn't give a shit."
"That's a wildly inaccurate oversimplification," she said, her tiny cheeks growing red. "Beltigersk representatives filed a request to censure the Korgul for illegal mining on planet Earth. This action could be completed within eighteen to twenty-four months. If enough representatives vote positively for censure, Korgul could face significant trade sanctions and even tariffs on all goods suspected to have originated on Earth."
"Hogwash," AJ spluttered. "We need action. Those damn Korgul are stripping Earth. According to that survey, more than two-thirds of the Fantastium and Blastorium have already been removed. We don’t need a bunch of politicians running around, rubbing their hands together."
Greybeard, AJ's English Bulldog, barked loudly, seemingly in agreement with AJ's outburst.
"Hold on, AJ," Jayne said, interrupting the anger she knew was about to boil over. "What would you have the people of Beltigersk do? They're a tiny, nano-meter-sized civilization. Negotiating is their strongest action."
"I wish we could do more," Beverly said, staring at the table her virtual projection stood on. "Is there anything I can do to make your stay more comfortable?"
"We could do with some windows," AJ grumbled. "When can we get out of here? If you won’t do anything for us, I'd like to go home and join up with that resistance group. We need to take more direct action – politics through other means, if you know what I mean."
Beverly shook her head. "I don’t think you understand. I'm home. Beltigersk won't let me leave. I have responsibilities."
"What? Ever?" AJ asked. "What about Jayne? Darnell?"
"Beltigersk is not a common destination for trade. We have few material needs and we produce nothing. Finding a way back to Earth is quite difficult. This is now your home."
The words were too much for Jayne. "This, as in Beltigersk? Or this as in this small residence?"
"The residence is configurable. You should find it quite comfortable. For example, the windows you asked about are simple." Beverly waved her hand. A three-foot-tall transparent strip appeared at roughly waist height and encircled the rectangular room.
For the first time since they'd arrived, the group was able to see outside. The bright red landscape of Beltigersk Five closely resembled photographs AJ had seen of Mars. Now visible at the bottom of a valley were roughly fifty white rectangular structures resembling the size and shape of their own habitat.
"Are those living spaces for hosts?" Jayne asked.
"That is correct," Beverly replied.
"And those are ships?" Darnell asked. "It looks like most of 'em haven't been used in years. Why, some of them are almost buried."
AJ huffed in frustration. "Nothing more than a prison planet. You Beltigersk are no different than Korgul. To you, we're just a bunch of dumb raccoons and this is our cage."
"That's a bit harsh, don't you think, AJ?" Jayne said. "Beverly and her crew put their lives on the line for humanity. I can't believe they intend to keep us in a cage."
"It's not like that," Beverly said.
"Oh?" AJ said. "Then what's it like?"
"The residents of those homes are here voluntarily," she said. "For most species, it's a great honor to join with a Beltigersk. The rooms are locations for their corporeal bodies to rest while the hosts virtually intermingle with Beltigersk society."
"You want us to intermingle? What about Jayne? She doesn't have a rider anymore," AJ said.
Beverly dropped her head. "No. Humans are considered limited sentients and are therefore precluded from this possibility."
"And you're okay with this?" AJ swallowed hard. "I thought you didn't buy that whole raccoon thing."
"If you could be part of Beltigersk society, would you?" Beverly asked, her eyebrows lifting. "I would negotiate on your behalf. I must go, but will return in a few hours. Please, if there is anything that would make your stay more comfortable, do not hesitate to ask."
With her point made, Beverly disappeared, causing Greybeard to bark.
"I know, boy," AJ said, moving the dog's legs from his lap to the couch. "Pisses me off, too. Did all our Beltigersk buddies take off or are you still in there, Seamus?"
Greybeard barked and held AJ's gaze. The Beltigersk rider, Seamus, had made a tremendous sacrifice by bonding with Greybeard. It was an odd pairing, but Seamus had been unwilling to separate from the dog, knowing Greybeard wouldn’t survive the separation.
"2-F is still here." Darnell referred to his own rider, who Beverly had explained was immature and therefore either unable or unwilling to project himself visually. Instead, 2-F's interaction with Darnell was primarily through a virtual HUD only Darnell could see. "BB is the only one wrangling with the political types."
"Good," AJ said.
"What's on your mind?" Jayne asked. "I see those gears churning. You're not thinking what I think you're thinking, are you?"
"Big D, ask your buddy, 2-F, what the Beltigersk atmosphere is like," AJ said.
"Not directly breathable, but not toxic. Atmospheric pressure isn't bad either. 2-F has a filtration mask that just needs a small support tank," Darnell said, walking over to the manufactory. The machine had, to date, only produced replacement clothing and unexpectedly good replications of Earth food dishes.
"AJ?" Jayne pushed, but he didn't seem to hear her. "You're not thinking …"
"Right now, that's all I'm doing," AJ said. "For some reason, every alien out there believes they can push us around, including Beverly."
Greybeard barked. It wasn’t immediately clear whether Seamus was irritated or supported AJ's statements.
"But we're trapped on an alien planet," Jayne said.
"See, there you go," AJ said. "Hitting the nail right on the head. Way I see it, as long as we're trapped, we're not much good to anyone, so we work the problem."
"Well, hell. That wasn't too hard," Darnell called, lifting a thin mask from the outfeed tray of the residence's manufactory. "Think you can get what you want
"What are you going to tell Beverly?" Jayne asked.
AJ shrugged. "Darlin', me and Big D are just going out for a walk, that's all." He caught the mask Darnell tossed at him. Greybeard barked again and stood on his hind legs next to the manufactory. A moment later, a more conical mask plopped onto the outfeed. "And it looks like Greybeard is coming."
"Count me in," Jayne said. "I don't know if you noticed, the door we came in isn't there anymore."
AJ raised his eyebrows when he glanced at the blank patch of wall that had once been an entryway. "That does present a problem. See if you can find a seam or a latch or something." He joined her near where the entry had once been.
After several fruitless minutes of searching, Jayne stood and placed her hands on her hips. "I swear it was right here."
"It was," Darnell said. "2-F says it's a reconfigurable Vred bulkhead. Since we're not expected to go outside, they probably didn't think we’d need the hatch."
"Well, ain't that a pickle," AJ said, slamming his fist into the wall partly for emphasis and partly to get a feel for the structure. "It's plenty solid."
"There's got to be a way out," Darnell said. "Maybe Greybeard can break into the software and do some of that voodoo cypher crap he does."
Greybeard growled and shook his head.
"Maybe we eat dinner and think about it," Jayne said. "I, for one, am getting hungry."
"Yeah, my blood sugar's getting low and I'm feeling grumpy," AJ said.
"Couldn't tell," Jayne deadpanned while raising an eyebrow in exasperation.
AJ chuckled and turned away from the wall. "Big D, you suppose 2-F could program that wall thingy to make something resembling steak? And maybe a bottle of Scotch?"
"Not like you to give up so easily," Jayne said.
"Who said anything about giving up?" AJ asked. "Or have you forgotten that I'm an engineer by trade."
"What's that mean?"
"We tried to find an existing exit. No luck. Therefore, our next option is to make one. Sure, it'd be easier if Beverly were here to help, but that kind of takes the fun out of it," he said. "I was thinking. If those masks Darnell made are a mix of oxygen and nitrogen, how hard would it be to load one with pure oxygen and another with acetylene? All we'd need is a rig to control their mix. Add a spark and voila, Bob's your uncle, we've got a cutting torch."
"Let's say that works and you make a hole in the side of this building. What if we can't get it closed back up?" Jayne asked. "Your masks are only good for thirty minutes."
"Glad you asked. Probably something we should think about. But Big D already said we don't have pressure problems. We’ll make duct-tape. It'll make me feel good to have some on hand, anyway," he said, shrugging. "Good questions, Doc. We make a good team."
She shook her head. "This is insane. So many things could go wrong."
"That's why we’re having Scotch and steak first."
"We've only an hour of daylight left," Darnell said, crouching behind AJ.
AJ had just eased a stream of the mixed gasses from his newly manufactured torch. He adjusted his dark glasses and grinned as the acetylene caught fire with an audible pop, then plunged the white-hot tip into where the door had once appeared. Black smoke billowed back at him from the burning material, forcing him to retreat.
"Get those masks on," he called over the torch noise, following his own instructions. Air from the mask smelled funny, but it was more breathable than the rapidly darkening air within the habitat.
"You should stop," Jayne called. "That smoke looks toxic."
"I slagged off a chunk of the lining inside the structure. We'll be through in a jiffy." He plunged the flame back into the wall. This time, the flame met a heavier material that absorbed the torch's heat.
"Seriously, AJ. Maybe this isn't a good idea," she pushed again.
"Doc, I got this." AJ held the flame in place. Finally, light appeared through a widening hole and the flame flickered as Beltigersk Five's atmosphere rushed through the new opening. With a practiced hand, he drew the flame up the wall, allowing the material's melting point to set his pace. He'd just turned the corner at the top of his makeshift door when the flame popped out, the torch dousing itself as the gas was exhausted.
"Want me to cool that wall?" Darnell asked.
When AJ turned, he saw the entire room was filled with the pungent black smoke. "You better make a few more cartridges for these masks. Where'd Jayne go?"
"I'm not sure," Darnell said. "There's a replacement oxygen canister by your foot. I think you still have acetylene."
AJ switched out the oxygen canisters. "We'll quench the wall once I've finished the cut. I don't want things cooling down too much."
"Copy that."
AJ gritted his teeth and fired up the torch. As he cut, black smoke continued to fill the room and he started to question the sanity of his approach. Ten minutes later, he shut off the flow of gas to the torch and kicked at the now loose panel. A plume of red dust billowed up as it fell into the dry Beltigersk Five landscape.
"Give way," Darnell said, dumping a pan full of water over the wall, allowing it to run down onto the heated material. Wind whipped past the three-foot-tall, two-foot-wide opening, pulling a small trail of the black smoke behind it, although not substantially clearing the room.
"Did you make those additional canisters?" AJ asked.
Darnell gave him a sharp nod. "Copy. On the counter."
A sudden strong breeze pulled through the opening, venting the sooty interior atmosphere through the ceiling. "We should have found that switch before we started," Jayne said plainly, standing next to a control panel near the manufactory.
"I had it handled," AJ said defensively.
"What, were we going to sleep with these silly little half-hour masks all night?" she asked.
He knew better than to argue with an irritated Amanda Jayne. Instead, he stepped through the hole. "Well, that's not something you see every day." Some twenty miles from their position, fiery slag was thrown into the air by an active volcano.
"Does anyone else think that’s closer than it should be?" Darnell asked, sliding the still hot panel away from the opening.
"I wonder if that volcano is a new feature or if it's been erupting for a while," Jayne mused. "Maybe getting off this planet isn't such a bad idea."
AJ chuckled. "Pick your poison, Doc."
"Pardon?"
AJ pointed up the valley. "Best I can count, there are at least a dozen abandoned spaceships. We need to find something compatible."
"Then we survey the lot of them," she said. "Or maybe, 2-F or Seamus have ideas on what might be suitable for human habitation."
"2-F says, other than Korgul, Vred are the most physically compatible. The only problem is, Vred companies supply hulls for a lot of different species, especially smaller ones. It'll be hard to tell which ships are Vred without opening them up."
Greybeard barked excitedly and spun in place.
"Seamus, if you have an idea, we're all ears," AJ said. "Lead on."
They trudged through the loose Beltigerskian soil with Darnell muttering complaints the entire time. "Geez, this stuff is impossible. It's like walking over fresh snow. It's going to take most of our oxygen to just get to that first ship."
"Don't give up, Big D," AJ encouraged. "We're learning a lot. If we only look at one ship, that's a good first trip."
He inspected the closest ship which sat next to an entirely opaque habitat. The ship was thirty feet long and tapered from a point at the bow to wide-swept wings at the aft. It was clearly designed for atmospheric flight and a small payload.
"What do you make of it?" Darnell asked, panting as he pushed to keep up.
"Isn't good," AJ said. "This one’s not much bigger than a fighter jet, but it's still worth checking out. Who knows what we might find?"
