Old Dogs, Older Tricks, page 9
part #2 of Junkyard Pirate Series
"You've had some dumb ideas, but I feel like you've outdone yourself on this one," Darnell said. "You know this thing fails for a million reasons, right?"
"Just working with what I've got." AJ finished lugging the last of the machinery into the small, boxy vessel Gargun and Sharg had utilized to travel to the moon.
"What if the big girl decides to bail on us and the cops don't follow because she warns them? This ship has a radio." Darnell said.
AJ held up a small phial of Fantastium. "That, my friend, is an excellent point, but a moot one," AJ said. "We are working from a considerable disadvantage, but I would draw your attention to something you quite often draw mine to."
"And that is?"
"Cop behavior."
Darnell narrowed his eyes. "I don't follow."
"You think I'm doing the black thing again." AJ grinned.
"We'll see. Get on with it."
"If Sharg and Gargun take off, do you really think the cops would let them go, even with a phone call?"
"Not if they're anything like cops on Earth. Matter of fact, they'd probably stop everyone, empty both vehicles, and call a dog out to search the car," Darnell said, nodding. "I see where you're going. Still feels like you're messing with me."
AJ waggled his eyebrows. "Only fun if I can do both."
"Sharg says Galactic patrol approaches," Gargun said. "Needs Fantastium."
AJ held the phial out to the shorter Vred. "Here you go, my good man."
Their two Vred friends exited the ship and Darnell clasped his buddy’s puffy shoulder. "This could get intense. You sure you're up for it?"
"What's the worst they could do?"
"I bet even enlightened cops carry guns."
AJ pursed his lips. "If you get a chance to get free and I'm not gonna make it, I need you to promise me you'll take the out. Lisa is still back on Earth and you need to get home to her. Jayne, well, she deserves better than all this."
"Sure, buddy. Will do."
"You're a horrible liar."
"You're a horrible friend."
AJ chuckled to himself as he bounded across piles of garbage with Greybeard barking at his heels. "Greybeard, go back," he said. "BB, tell Seamus to get Greybeard loaded in with Big D and Jayne."
Beverly blinked into view, wearing her silver Lost in Space suit and a rocket pack. "Seamus says that Greybeard is ignoring him."
"He can do that?"
"Greybeard's loyalty to the pack is instinctive. The portion of his brain that responds to rational commands is overridden by his expectation that you will be in danger. It also does not help that you are running and he enjoys the chase."
"Crap." AJ scanned the horizon. In the several hours since they'd landed, met with Sharg and Gargun, and then loaded their parts for trade, the sky had cleared significantly of debris. "Can you pick up the patrol vessel? I can't see it."
"It is twenty miles out," she said. "It also appears you have been spotted. They have adjusted their course," she said.
"How soon will they arrive?"
"You should increase your pace."
AJ's stomach soured as urgency drenched his system with adrenaline. Having made the trip back and forth a few times, his skill at navigating the piles of junk had steadily increased. Marveling at how his age-defying new body responded to strenuous tasks, AJ grinned broadly, pushing himself faster and faster.
"You're going too fast," Beverly finally warned as the Lumbricus ship quickly grew in front of them.
AJ angled his legs each time he landed, absorbing as much inertia as he could before he lost contact with the surface again. "Aw, crap, this is gonna hurt!" he exclaimed, just before slamming into the side of the ship. His vision flirted with the black edges of consciousness as he fell into the hole, which would give him access to the hatch.
"AJ, you are concussed. I'm going to help you through this," Beverly said. "The Galactic Police landed their vessel twenty yards away and are preparing to disembark. It is imperative that you find the strength to enter the ship. It is likely they will deploy non-lethal means of capture. You cannot afford to be caught out in the open."
AJ shook his head. For a moment, he was right back in Vietnam, hunkered behind sandbags, bullets whizzing overhead. Blinking quickly, his head pounding, he became aware of Greybeard's insistent barking. Beverly's words hadn't registered. It sounded like she was talking underwater.
Suddenly, a bright red arrow like one would see in a Tom and Jerry cartoon snaked between his feet and pulsated upward in front of his face. Struggling for consciousness, AJ's eyes followed the arrow’s path. With his mission reduced to a single action, AJ knew what he had to do. He jumped. Unfortunately, on the first try, his helmet struck the underside of the ship and he fell back onto the piles of junk. On the positive, the impact didn't further damage him and he took a second try. This time, he landed inside the maintenance bay's airlock.
"Greybeard, get in here!" AJ shouted, struggling to grab the handle on the hatch he needed to close. A moment later, Greybeard leapt in, striking AJ squarely in the chest.
"You need to calm, AJ," Beverly said. "Your blood pressure is spiking."
AJ pulled the metal door closed as something blurry slid through. "Any idea what that was?" AJ asked, spinning the wheel closed. With Beverly's help, he found the interior hatch and waited as atmosphere transferred into the lock.
"I believe it was a restraint device," Beverly said. "Either quick-expanding foam or an electrical charge. The device was not in visual range for sufficient time to identify it."
"Man, those guys move fast," He spun open the inner hatch and pulled himself inside. "You coming, boy?"
Greybeard barked, catching up with AJ who was already inside the worm tracks that made up the main corridor of the ship.
"There are two individuals preparing to deploy some sort of countermeasures," Jayne said.
"What kind of countermeasures?"
"I would expect to disable electronics," she said. "I believe they are having difficulty due to the position of the ship within the garbage dune."
"Garbage dune. Nice visual." AJ wriggled into position at the helm, his slippery worm-ejection-covered suit sliding easily onto the pilot platform. "Show me that patrol vehicle in relation to my ship, BB."
"Aye, aye," Beverly answered smartly. Her image appeared in his peripheral vision, this time wearing the blue uniform of a Naval seaman.
The Galactic Police vessel was a quarter the size of the large Lumbricus ship and had been positioned aft and to the left of the central bridge. It was a strategic spot to park, AJ imagined, since most ships took off going forward, accelerating in a long arcing curve. The thing was, however, due to the limited dexterity of the Lumbricus pilots, their ships required three hundred sixty degrees of flexibility, happily sacrificing speed in the tradeoff.
"Where are those patrolmen?" AJ asked.
"Directly aft. It looks like they're considering entering the hole that gives access to the hatch," Beverly said. "They appear hesitant."
"Smart," AJ said. "Raccoons bite if they're cornered."
"I wish you would stop with those references," Beverly said. "I do not see you or any human as a raccoon."
"Know your enemy," AJ said, nudging the ship's controls.
The Lumbricus ship jumped straight up almost ten yards, showering garbage onto the ground below. Without hesitation, AJ jammed forward on the stick, causing lateral movement at the same time he lowered the ship.
"Crap, did I miss?" AJ asked as the ship plunged back down into the pile of garbage, the star's light disappearing as a mountain collapsed atop him.
"Were you aiming for the Galactic Police vessel?" Beverly asked.
"Yes."
"Then you did not miss," she said.
"Good."
Taking a page from Darnell's playbook, AJ scooched the ship up and forward. Slipping from the helm, he glided expertly on his stomach all the way to the maintenance bay, grateful for the inflation of his atmospheric suit.
"You know, if you're a worm, this ship is actually laid out pretty well," he said, grabbing the edge of the maintenance bay hatch and swinging his legs onto the slotted metal floor.
"I'll be sure to send a note to their ambassador," Beverly said. "I am sure he will appreciate your critique of his ship."
"If he didn’t want it stolen, he would have put a lock on it," AJ reasoned.
"I do not believe it would have stopped Seamus."
"Good point. Now to make sure we keep that patrol ship where it belongs for a few days." AJ opened a small panel and extracted the remainder of the Fantastium. Tucking the vial into a pocket, he made his way to the airlock.
"I still question how this will suffice," Beverly said. "Galactic Police are still on the surface. They will simply capture you."
AJ worked the ring on the airlock and jumped down into the small space. With a little urging, Greybeard joined him.
"What are the odds those boys have seen combat?"
"I do not believe it is clear that they are male. Vred have not engaged in war for over a century, so it is unlikely they've experienced combat."
"Then they've probably never experienced what we call a dust off."
"Dust off?" she asked, as AJ pushed aside loose trash and scrabbled out the other side of the airlock.
"Check out your Vietnam archives. Big D didn't always fly gunships. He started out flying slicks. If those Vred boys don't have something better than foam, they're in for a rude surprise."
AJ glanced up and realized he'd somewhat overdone the compression of the two ships into the garbage dune. He was at least forty feet from the surface. His head felt just like it would if someone was beating on it like a steel drum and every movement seemed to take way too much energy. He tried to climb, churning his arms and legs, but his efforts did little except dislodge the trash around him. He watched jealously as Greybeard scampered up the side of the pit. AJ took a breath and tried again, soon finding purchase to slowly follow.
"You will cease movement or be shot!"
AJ held up his arms as he turned toward the voice. Forty yards over, two figures wearing matching uniforms struggled to cross the uneven floor of garbage. Greybeard barked madly, spinning in a tight circle as he ran at the approaching police and then back to AJ.
"AJ, hit the deck!" Darnell's voice boomed in his ears. AJ didn't need to be told twice and he dove away from the approaching figures.
AJ's body didn't hit the ground so much as the ground rose up to meet him. Debris struck, not stopping him, but instead carrying him several yards away. Unable to mitigate the impact, AJ tumbled, struggling to regain his footing.
"Get in!" Jayne's voice was tight with excitement.
Small tornados of debris swirled all around as he searched for Jayne in the chaos. He caught the glint of steel and an overlay of the restored passenger liner popped up, thanks to BB. Their new ship rested on the garbage only yards from where he now lay. He experienced the same feeling of salvation he’d had so many years ago when he’d been racing over swampy ground to the welcome embrace of a Huey. With no urging required, he threw himself at the airlock where Jayne stood beckoning him.
"Greybeard, we gotta move!" he exclaimed.
"Now, AJ," Jayne pushed.
Seeing the small, bulbous bullet that was Greybeard rocketing toward safety, AJ leapt into the hatch and did everything he could to bring his legs up beneath him. A moment later, the small furball, still wrapped in what might as well have been an innertube, smashed into him.
"We're in, Darnell," Jayne called, slapping a panel on the sidewall that closed the exterior hatch.
"How are those GP boys doing?" AJ asked.
"Knocked 'em over," Darnell answered. "They're both moving, though."
"Damn good flying there, Skippy," AJ said, accepting Jayne's outstretched hand.
"This thing is a cream puff," Darnell said. "What kind of messed-up society mothballs a ship like this because they think it's too leaky?"
"We're holding atmo, right?" AJ asked, suddenly curious. "Seems like we'll care about that."
"Not that kind of leak," Darnell said.
Jayne pulled off her helmet and nodded at the airlock, which AJ was currently blocking.
"What kind of leak are we talking about?"
AJ pointed at a panel that looked like the one Jayne had used on the other end of the lock and got an affirmative nod from her. He pressed it and was rewarded with the airlock releasing them into the main section of the ship.
"Apparently, it has waste lines that leak small amounts of unrecyclable material," he said. "Overall, it's not good stuff, but it’s microscopic. According to 2-F, the ships are considered toxic to Vred."
"Are they?"
"It is still a matter of discussion," Beverly said, joining the conversation. "There are reports of Vred who have neurological disorders associated with the waste in question. There is broad speculation the reports were financed by a competitor, however."
"I'll risk it," AJ said, working his suit gloves off. "What are the odds those police will get a comm off to home base before we make it to Halfnium-8?"
"Not good," Darnell said. "This baby has some punch to her. We just caught up with Sharg and we'll hit atmosphere in twelve hours. Just how deep did you bury their patrol ship?"
"It was forty feet from the top of the Lumbricus ship to the surface," AJ said. "Then another thirty feet to the bottom side. Seventy feet or so."
"I kind of feel bad for 'em," Darnell said. "How do you suppose they'll report this?"
"What do you mean?" Jayne asked.
"Will they admit they got played by a bunch of raccoons?"
AJ helped Greybeard remove his suit and walked to the galley. "I'm more concerned those patrolmen won't get a message off. They're going to need help moving that Lumbricus ship off theirs. I took the remaining Fantastium, so that ship isn't going anywhere."
"There's some chance they could dig out the patrol vehicle and punch their way out," Darnell speculated.
"BB, don't suppose there’s any food back here? I'm feeling pretty jacked up about now."
"The manufactory appears to be stocked with basic proteins and carbohydrates," Beverly answered, standing atop the counter. "I believe I could provide it with sufficient instructions to produce something along the lines of spaghetti."
"I'd take some of that," Darnell called.
Following Beverly's instructions, AJ punched a few codes into a small manufactory on the counter in the galley. The machine operated in silence, and a moment later a small light illuminated on its front panel.
"You'll find utensils and bowls in the overhead compartment," Beverly instructed.
"Why would they leave all this on here?" he asked.
"Because it's tainted," Jayne said, brushing up next to him and pulling out a very convincing pile of spaghetti.
"Doesn't smell tainted," AJ said, experimenting with and discovering the operation of a water dispenser. Filling a bowl, he set it down for Greybeard, who greedily lapped at it. Jayne slid a good portion of noodles into another bowl and set it next to the water.
"Does it seem weird that Sharg and Gargun are taking parts off tainted ships and selling them?" AJ asked, picking up two bowls Jayne filled with pasta and walking toward the front of the ship.
"They didn't seem overly concerned about helping us," Jayne said. "As I recall, Gargun's initial concern was the payment he would require for their help. Sharg didn't disagree. Matter of fact, she seemed relieved when AJ mentioned he had a trade in mind."
"They could be exotic pet traders, looking to add raccoons to their menagerie" Darnell said.
"I agree, Sharg's a wily one for all her pacifistic talk," AJ said. "I feel like she's been holding back."
9
Kraken
"Join me," Jayne said, patting the synthetic leather cushion next to where she sat.
AJ considered the small rectangular table that held Jayne's meal in place and wondered where it had come from. The table hadn't been part of the couch configuration as he'd last seen it. Setting his plate on the table, he felt the tug of a magnetic connection between his own plate and the table.
"I can't believe they scrapped this ship," he said. "At a minimum, they could have sold it to other species who aren’t as sensitive."
"At the end of WWII, the United States dumped military surplus vehicles into the ocean so as not to crash the economy," Jayne said. "Vred are well known for manufacturing ships. Perhaps they didn't want to cause a similar ripple."
"I was talking with Gargun when we were getting loaded," Darnell said, joining the conversation from the cockpit, only a few yards forward. "He said the environmental types didn't like the idea of their poisons being offloaded onto someone else. He didn't sound too impressed."
"But they were okay dumping them on the moon?" AJ was astounded.
"I guess hypocrisy isn't limited to humans. Comforting in a way, if you think about it." Jayne rested a hand on AJ's arm as she slumped further into the chair, her head coming to rest on his shoulder. "How soon before we're on the ground?"
AJ caught Darnell's turned head and the two exchanged raised eyebrows but said nothing on the incidental contact.
"Eight hours," Darnell replied. "You two should get some sleep before we hit the atmosphere. We'll have turbulence. I don't care how nice this ship is, it's still physics."
"Don't you need sleep?" Jayne asked, her eyes fluttering open. "We can take shifts."
"No need," Darnell said. "2-F and I are taking turns. Halfnium-8 doesn't have much space traffic, so there's not much to do."
Ever since waking up on Beltigersk Five, AJ had been on edge, either scheming to escape or actively working toward that goal. With the blue-green planet growing slowly on the monitor, a full stomach, and a comfortable seat, he finally felt like he could allow his guard down, if only for a moment. Turning his hand over, he made room for Jayne's to slip into his own. With a soft murmur, she pushed her arm forward and interlaced their fingers. Not wanting to ruin the moment, AJ rested his head against the soft cushion and allowed his eyes to close.
