Damned Sinner, page 9
part #1 of Jayne Series
She pressed the button that would take us to the lobby, and then turned to face me. She was close, only a few inches away from me, and I turned my head, glaring at the reflection staring back at me.
I felt her hand on my chest and hissed, jumping back. “You know,” she started, moving closer to whisper. “This is something I’ve wanted for a long time. A nice romantic dinner with you.”
I grunted in response. What the hell was I supposed to say?
Her fingers drifted upwards over my shoulder and around my neck. I couldn’t look at her; if I did, all hell would break loose.
And then she dug her fingers into my neck like a mountain lion. “It just pisses me off that you’re only doing this because you’re jealous—not because you want to.”
She let go, and my hand went immediately to the wound. I glared at her as she stood smugly in the corner of the elevator.
“You’re a little bitch when you want to be, aren’t you?”
She shrugged unapologetically. “You hurt me, and you don’t seem to get it. Hurt me, and hurt me again. You’re the one with issues, Vince. Not me. I only agreed to this dinner to get a few things off my chest.”
I gave her a menacing smile. “You came because I told you to.”
She shrugged again, and it was beginning to piss me off. She’d thrown me right off the high I was on after seeing her, and she had no idea what kind of bear she was poking at.
“You’re going to keep your mouth shut and be nice until we get to the restaurant, and then you’re going to listen to me and let me have my damn say.”
She looked over at me with a wry smile. “I plan on listening—but I won’t shut my mouth. How dare you talk to me like that?”
I let out a frustrated breath. “This is not going the way I thought it would,” I mumbled. I looked over at her again in her pretty dress and shiny hair and wanted to say screw it and call it a loss.
“Maybe because this should have happened a long time ago,” she snapped angrily.
We were silent again for the remainder of the ride down to the lobby, and as soon as the door opened, I stepped out and held a hand out for her to take. I felt claustrophobic and almost crazy being crammed in that box with her—especially her little attitude.
God! When was I going to get a damn break?
As soon as she was out of the elevator, I pulled her toward me by the shoulders and shook her hard.
“Listen, Kels,” I said through clenched teeth. “I leave tomorrow, and I don’t plan on coming back for a while. All I wanted to do was spend my last night with you and clear things up. When you’re mad at me, it makes me crazy—I’ve told you that before. I can’t have this conflict between us when I leave. Do you understand?”
She looked up and nodded. Her eyes were moist and her lips pressed tight, but at least she understood. I wasn’t there to play games or make things worse.
“Let’s just pretend it’s the good old days, and we’re still friends. Okay?”
Her smile was somewhat forced, but she stepped beside me and shoved her arm through mine, looking up at me with bright eyes. “I think we should go to Antonio’s. Don’t you, friend?”
****
She finally relaxed, and we were able to talk civilly on the way to the restaurant. When she called it a date, I panicked. I had never been on a real date in my lifetime. With her, I could fake it—at least I was pretty sure I could.
Antonio’s was a very upscale restaurant, and when we pulled up, I looked down at my appearance and sighed.
“I’m not really dressed for this gig, Kels.” I gave her a sideways glance and shook my head. “Why do you want to eat here anyway? It’s not that great.”
She looked up at the restaurant and sighed. “I was supposed to eat here tonight. I’ve heard it’s the best, and I guess I was curious.” She looked back over at me and leaned her head back against the seat. “I wouldn’t mind a burger and fries, though.”
I smiled and instinctively brushed a strand of hair away from her face. I tried to convey with my eyes just how idiotic the whole charade was. The drift between us was massive. I’d never had the desire to wine and dine a chick, but the inclination to try was there for her. It was there, but I had no idea what to do with it. She, on the other hand, had been ten steps ahead of me since day one. The moment our eyes met in that dingy strip club, I knew there was something about her that would change my life. I didn’t know how, or what it was, but she did, and she’d never been shy about telling me.
“Burger and fries. Are you sure about that? You seem awfully disappointed.”
She smiled, but it was empty. “It’s okay. Really. This isn’t a real date, anyway. One day I’ll come back here, and it’ll be real.”
I rubbed at my chest, pressing down the sharp pain her apology inflicted. Everything was going a little too fast, and the miniscule epiphany I’d had earlier was beating like a drum in my ears.
“You deserve it, Kelsey. I’m just sorry I’m not the right one to give it to you.”
Her eyes darkened. “Just go get me some food—and then we can talk.”
She turned her head quickly, sending her hair flying around her face and stared out the window.
The moment was lost and the bratty attitude was back. The truth hurt—that was something I was familiar with. It was about time she figured it out as well.
I put the car in gear and peeled away from the curb, knuckles tight around the steering wheel and jaw clenched. Somehow, some way, I was going to fix the chink in our relationship and put it back in order once and for all.
I decided it was best to get the food to go and take it back to the room. Neither of us were in any mood to deal with our issues in public, but I was disappointed that I wouldn’t get to take her out in that dress.
There was no more conversation, and once we got back to the casino, I started to freak out. I wasn’t sure how to open up the conversation and relieve the tension. For the first time ever, I wished I had Jayne’s opinion.
She stepped quietly into the room, kicking her shoes off and taking a seat on the couch. I set the bags of food on the table, took off my jacket and hung it on the hook, and ran a hand through my hair.
“Bring me anything?”
“Jesus!” I yelled. I spun around, hand on the gun in my waistband and cursed again. “What the hell are you doing here?”
Flynn merely grinned and walked over to where Kelsey sat and bent over to kiss the top of her head.
I wanted to throttle his smug neck.
He was dressed casually in jeans, a T-shirt and bare feet, and obviously in for the night. He’d never be caught dead out of his designer clothes.
“I thought we cleared this up earlier. I’m staying.”
He raised a questioning eyebrow at me and gave a small nod toward Kelsey. There was no way I would be able to talk to her with him anywhere near. I reached for the food and turned to Kelsey.
“Let’s go to the other suite so we can talk.”
She looked surprised, but she shouldn’t have been. Maybe she thought with him in the room, I wouldn’t say what I needed to. Tonight was happening. It was already a complete disaster, and I wasn’t going to attempt a do-over. It had to be before I left.
I gave Flynn one more murderous glare and slammed the door behind us. We walked down the hall in silence, each step toward the suite feeling more like a move toward death row rather than a posh hotel room. I could feel my hands sweat and almost lost my grasp on the crumpled bag of food by the time we made it to the door.
Kelsey fumbled through her little bag for the key card, slid it in with a shaky hand, and waved me inside.
Jayne’s suite was a freaking eyesore. It was gaudy as hell, girly as fuck, and ugly as sin. I had to give Flynn credit for the effort, but he’d definitely overdone it by a mile.
“How can you stand it in here,” I grumbled. I reached over and touched one of the statues, cringing. “Jesus.”
She laughed. “It’s not that bad. A little much, but I think it’s romantic that he made her a palace. That’s the sweetest thing ever.”
I grunted and set the food down on the end table before sitting down on the velvet sofa. Running my hand over the smooth fabric, I shook my head. “Fit for a queen... my ass.”
Kelsey came over, sitting down across from me, and folded her hands in her lap. The tension was beginning to crackle, and my brain ached from it.
“Our food is probably cold,” she said regrettably. “I could fix us something in the kitchen if you’d like.”
I did want something, but it wasn’t food.
“It’s fine. I can call and have something brought up... I don’t want you to cook, Kelsey. Listen,” I said, turning to face her. “If I would’ve had time to change, I would have taken you to that place. You know that, don’t you?”
She looked up and smiled. “I know. It doesn’t really matter. The place, I mean.”
Her smile was forced, not genuine or okay in any way. She was hurt—again, and I felt a jolt of rage. For myself, for her pretty face, for the whole damn situation.
“If it had been about Antonio’s, I would’ve had Lucas take me out, but I didn’t. I wanted to be with you.”
I opened my mouth to respond, but she reached over and pressed her finger over my lips to stop me.
“Don’t say anything. I’ve heard it all from you before.”
She scooted closer, her eyes intent on mine as she spoke. “You won’t let yourself believe you’re a good man, but you are.” She moved again, straddling my thighs, and placed her hands on my shoulders.
I gulped and pressed myself back against the cushions, staring up at her in disbelief. The air in the room shifted. It was thicker, even tenser than before, but with a new flavor. A dangerous flavor.
Sliding a hand over my shoulder and down my chest, she flicked at the button of my shirt. I merely held my breath and waited to see what she’d do next.
She released a button through the slit, and worked her way down, releasing one at a time, slowly. My hands were clenched into tight fists at my side, tight enough to break bone. I couldn’t move or look away; all I could do was watch and listen.
“A bad man wouldn’t protect a girl—a total stranger—especially the sister of a woman that put so many people he cared about in danger.” She pushed my shirt open and spread her palm across my chest. “But you did.”
“Kelsey,” I said. I tried to sit up, but apparently, she wasn’t done.
Her lips met the skin of my neck, and my entire body shuddered. I groaned and squeezed my fists harder, forcing myself to stay still. She was killing me, and she knew exactly what she was doing.
“I’m not afraid of you, or who you are,” she whispered against my throat. “I’m not afraid of what you do, either. Or care. It doesn’t bother me, and never did.”
“Fuck,” I growled. “You’re playing with fire, little girl.”
She chuckled and pressed her tongue against my skin. “You can lie to yourself about this all you want.”
Her hair tickled my chest as she laid small, wet kisses on my chest. “I fell in love with a beautiful man. A man strong enough to hold a broken girl together when he didn’t have any reason to. A man with a beautiful soul.”
Her lips pressed down on my heart, and she sighed. “The man that held me night after night while I cried, scared out of my wits and terrified for my life, is a good man.”
My jaw clenched down so tight I thought my teeth would shatter in my mouth. I’d never been brought to my knees before—not by a man, and definitely not by any woman, but in that moment, the urge to drop down and beg was intense.
But, while her words were pretty, her little fairy tale had a very grim ending. I had to make her face that and see the reality.
Vince Donovan was a death sentence.
I grabbed her face between my hands and pulled her close so I could look into her eyes.
“You want to spend the rest of your life holed up in a whorehouse with a criminal? I’m a fucking pimp! I’m not some damn matchmaker, Kelsey. What I do is illegal.”
“I don’t care!” she cried. “There are worse things.”
There were worse things. “Yeah, there are. I’m a felon and a killer. This isn’t a fantasy world. You can’t reform me, or change what I am or what I’ve done. No matter how much I want you, or how much I care, this is who I am.”
She tried to shake her head, but I held her eyes firm on mine.
“I won’t make you happy. I don’t even know how.”
Tears fell down her cheeks, and the impulse to wipe them away and kiss away the pain was strong. Now was not the time, though.
“You killed them to save people. It’s not the same thing.”
I dug my fingers into her cheeks and shook her head. “Do you think that’s the first time I’ve killed, Kelsey?”
She whimpered, and I let her go. The tiny bit of control I had left snapped.
I stood, shoving her off my lap and spun her around so her back was against my chest. I pushed one hand up her skirt and cupped her pussy, and held her down with the other across her chest.
Her shuddered breath washed over my forearm and I pressed my nose into her throat, breathing her in—the tangy scent of arousal and the sweet smell of fear.
“I don’t care,” she whispered. “I only want you.”
I pulled her leg up, placed it on the table in front of us, and drove two fingers inside of her, causing her to yelp in surprise. She had no idea what she wanted—but she was finally going to get it.
She was warm, tight as a drum, and so damn soft. I cupped her breast, squeezing lightly through the fabric of her dress.
“You don’t care that I slit my father’s neck? Killed him in cold blood?”
Her breath hitched, and I curled my fingers up inside of her, hitting her in just the right spot. “You don’t care.” I laughed. “You fucking naive little bitch.”
I slammed my fingers inside of her a few more times, and then turned her in my arms and tossed her onto the sofa. My hand went to the waistband of my pants, and I flicked the button loose as I stared down at her. Her chest heaved, and her eyes were wide and frightened, but with a note of excitement that unnerved me.
Shrugging out of my shirt, I threw it on the floor and unzipped my jeans. “You have one chance to back out. You’ve pushed me far enough, Kelsey. This is going to happen, and then there’s no turning back.”
Instead of scrambling off the couch and running for the door like I expected her to do, she propped herself up on her elbows, pushing her tits tight against her dress.
“I think I’ve made myself quite clear, Vince. You’re the only one holding back.”
The only conclusion I could come up with was that she was insane. Any sensible girl from her background would hightail it away from me as fast as she could. It worried me—could she handle it?
Something occurred to me. “What about your boyfriend?” Just saying it made me want to kill someone, but the surprise on her face told me it was a fair question, and one that couldn’t be ignored.
“I’m here with you. I think that answers that question.”
I kneeled on the couch between her legs, and leaned down to kiss her. She was pliable in my hands, and finally, finally, I was able to play with her.
“If I take your cherry, you’re mine for good, Kelsey. I mean it—this is it.”
She reached forward, grabbed my belt loops with her thumbs, and pulled me down on top of her, hooking her legs around my hips and pinning me against her.
“I’m not a damn virgin, Vince. Stop. Talking!”
My hips bucked impulsively, and I groaned. The thought both thrilled and pissed me off. On one hand, I didn’t have to worry about hurting her—that way. On the other... I raised my head and scowled at her.
“That kid?”
She shook her head and grabbed my shoulders. “No! It was two years ago—a boy at school. Who cares?”
I pushed up on one arm and narrowed my eyes at her. “I do. You should. Jesus...”
I was done. I was done fighting, done waiting, and just done. There wasn’t an inch of my body that wasn’t ready to take her. I’d been primed and ready to go for a long time, but the difference was, my mind was ready too. If this was it, the one time I got to taste her, well, fuck... I’d savor it. I couldn’t protect her from me anymore. I didn’t even want to.
My cards were laid out on the table—it was her move. From that point on, she either went all in or folded out. I couldn’t play her games anymore.
I stood up abruptly, far too gone to try to get myself under control. It was now or never. I shoved my jeans the rest of the way off, and stood bare and proud in front of her. Everything was about to be different. I’d given her the opportunity to bail, but there she was—dress rumpled, hair tangled, and legs dangling... she was as ready as she was going to get.
“God,” she said slowly as she looked me over. “You’re beautiful. Everywhere.”
I chuckled. “I think your mouth could be put to better use.” I nodded down at my cock, swollen and hard as steel. “You wanted it—take it.”
She crawled up onto her knees and laid her hands on my thighs. They were soft, but cold, and a shiver ran up my spine. I’d been with hundreds—maybe thousands of women. Nothing had ever felt the way her hands felt on my legs.
Her breath was warm as she lowered her head and finally took me into her mouth. I sighed with the relief of a sinner finally on his way to fucking heaven when she hummed around me.
My hands went to her hair and I laced my fingers through the strands, pulling her head down to take me further down her throat. My mind was full of things to say, but I couldn’t speak. The moment was sacred—and I didn’t want to screw it up by opening my mouth.
I simply watched as her mouth worked and her head bobbed. My fingers tightened in her hair when I felt her swallow around me—the constriction of her throat sent a jolt of pleasure through every inch of my body.
Finally, I’d had enough. Every impulse I had urged me to hold her head still and thrust into her with abandon. I wasn’t done with her yet. I didn’t want to scare her before I had a chance to really give her what I had.
