Damned Sinner, page 21
part #1 of Jayne Series
I leaned down, kissed her softly on the lips, and carefully fit myself on the bed next to her. It creaked loudly, and I was afraid for a minute I would break the damn thing, but it held, and I hadn’t felt that alive in months. Not since the last time I slept next to her.
“It’s just for now, but it’ll do. I’ll buy us a bigger house before...” I paused, unsure how to breach the topic of the baby. It seemed to be a sensitive subject with her, and after the clusterfuck we’d just worked through, I had a feeling I knew why.
“We’ll need room for this,” I said, running my hand down over her belly. “Our baby.”
The room crackled with tension, and my entire body tensed.
“I’m happy. I’m so happy, but it scared the shit out of me wondering what you’d do.”
I snorted. “I’m that bad, huh?”
“Yes,” she said with a small laugh. “You are. I just didn’t think you’d want us.”
I wasn’t sure what to say. I didn’t blame her for thinking that. I wasn’t sure I wanted a kid either. Ever. It wasn’t one of those things I thought about, mostly because I didn’t think it was something I deserved. I sure as fuck knew a kid didn’t deserve an asshole like me for a father.
“I didn’t think I did, until I knew it was here. Now, I want nothing more. I want this. I want you, I want that baby, and I want us to be a family. It’s meant to be, so there’s no reason to question it. We’ll figure it out.”
She looked at me, surprised. “Are you happy?”
I nodded and pushed her hair away from her face. “So fucking happy.”
“Who are you,” she said with a small laugh. “I thought I’d seen all sides of Vince Donovan. This one is new. Very new.”
“This is me,” I told her. “I’ve fucked up just about everything in my life, but not this. I’m done running, done being on the outside, Kelsey. I’m tired. The day I left you in front of your house, the only plan I had was to change. I knew then I was too tired to run tricks. I was tired of keeping up this bullshit, and I didn’t want to end up like Sammy.”
She grappled for my hand and I met her halfway, folding her tiny fingers between mine.
“I love you,” she said.
I laid my head back against the pillow and smiled, one hand on hers and the other protectively over her belly. My family.
****
The late fall sky grew darker, and the stars had just started to pop and scatter. I’d been sitting by myself for a while, clearing out my thoughts now that we had finally calmed down after all the frantic hysteria.
Once again, I wondered if life would ever slow down for us. Would we ever get the peace and normalcy we all wished for and deserved?
It felt like we were getting closer, at least. We got Kelsey settled in Flynn’s house in Summerlin, and things were finally starting to calm down.
I looked out over the yard at the scenery that surrounded the house, and wondered if I’d ever have a place to lay down roots. I wanted that—a home, a yard, a family inside, the smell of dinner bubbling on the stove, and the sound of laughter from the open windows. I often tried to talk Jayne out of those dreams, and now, sitting there alone and dreaming about the same damn thing, I felt a certain amount of guilt. It wasn’t that I didn’t want her to have it—I was just saving her from the disappointment. We’d been deceived by life, both of us dealt the worst of all of it. But, now, I had perspective, and I understood her desire to have a solid future.
Since the moment I found Kelsey in that hospital bed, I’d done nothing but think about what I’d done wrong in my life, and what I could do to fix it. Ultimately, there was no way of undoing the worst, but I was determined to move forward and give her the best life I possibly could.
I heard the back door slide open and then close quietly. Since there were only the three of us at the house, I knew right away it was Jayne. Kelsey was still unable to walk—crutches were out of the question with her shoulder injury.
“What are you doing out here?”
She came over, sat down on the edge of the chair I was in, and shoved her way next to me. I scooted to give her room and swung my arm around her shoulder.
“Just thinking.”
She hummed and laid her head on my chest. “We haven’t had a chance to talk about all of this. How are you doing?”
I gave a little grunt, signifying that talking wasn’t on the top of my list of things to do at the moment, but in typical Jayne fashion, it didn’t matter what I wanted.
She was talking.
“You called her your wife,” she said bluntly. “At the hospital.”
I groaned. “The bitch at the front desk wouldn’t let me in. I’m smart enough to figure out they’d have to let me see her if I was her husband.”
She looked up at me, drawing her eyebrows together. “Are you going to marry her?”
“Not today,” I said dryly.
Pinching my side, she sat up on her knees and scowled at me. “I didn’t mean today, smart ass. Have you at least thought about it?”
In fact, I had. A lot. I reached into my pocket and toyed with the tiny object I had hidden there.
“Yeah,” I admitted after a few moments. “I’ve thought about it.”
“You’re going to be a dad,” she said softly. “I have to know what’s going through your head right now. A baby, a wife... this is a little surreal, isn’t it?”
I wasn’t even sure I could sort out what was going on inside my head. The one thing I was sure of was how I felt.
“I’m happy,” I said, looking at her from the corner of my eye. “Never thought I would be, but I can’t stop being happy about it.”
She smiled widely. “You’re going to be an amazing dad, Vince. I’m excited. Are you excited?”
“Scared, excited, happy... yeah, I’m all of that.”
“You’ll be great. This is going to be great.”
I shrugged. “I hope so. Even if I’m not great, I just hope I don’t fuck it up.”
She hugged me tightly around my neck and curled up in my lap. “You will be. You’ve got a big heart, Vince. I just hope you have a boy,” she said wryly.
“Why’s that?” I asked.
She laughed. “God help the boy that shows up at the door to get one of your girls,” she smirked and cocked her head to the side. “Just ask Flynn.”
I wasn’t sure what kind of father I’d be, but I knew I was ready to find out. The steps I’d had to climb in order to get to where I was made me the man I was always meant to be, and that was Kelsey’s man.
Chapter Twenty
“Are you comfortable?”
Kelsey groaned and pushed back on the cushion, pressing herself forward as far as her stomach would allow.
“I am so not comfortable. God, can you help me find another seat.”
I helped her up and walked her over to one of the chairs on the other side of the room. It’d been a long day, and she was tired.
“You want to go? Jayne will understand. I can take you upstairs...”
“No,” she snapped, shaking her head. “I’m fine.”
I snorted. “Yeah, you seem really fine. I guess I’d be worried if you stopped biting my head off.”
She shot me a glare and put her feet up on the table in front of her. “Maybe you should shut up.”
I wasn’t sure if either of us would survive the next two months. She was bitchier by the minute, and I was losing patience.
The road to recovery for Kelsey had been long and painful. She still had trouble with her leg, and with the pregnancy, it just made things worse. She was seven and a half months pregnant, and when she wasn’t scowling at me, she was fucking beautiful.
Jayne put her wedding on hold until Kelsey was well, much to Kelsey’s protests. She rationalized it, though—it gave her more time to plan, gave us more time to set up the business, and it ensured that Kelsey was able to stand next to her at the ceremony.
And it was beautiful—everything Jayne deserved.
I looked over at her, an angel in her white dress. Flynn hadn’t let go of her all night. I knew that feeling, and knew how much he’d had to go through before getting to share this with her. From the first moment he saw her, I think he’d always pictured that very moment, and it was pretty much perfect.
They’d come a long way, and I could see in his eyes that he never thought they’d get here. It was comforting to watch the way he looked at her. Most of my adult life I’d spent watching out for her, and I’d never stop, but it was good to know I had backup.
As if he’d read my thoughts, he looked over and smiled, tilting his head in recognition. I gave him a nod and then looked back at Kelsey.
“She’s so beautiful today, isn’t she?”
I smiled, nodding. “More than beautiful. She’s perfect.”
I sat on the table and lifted her feet and placed them in my lap. Cherise would have a cow if she caught us defiling the furniture, but rules were made to be broken. We were proof of that.
I slid off her shoes and placed them down next to me, laughing at the shiny little things. They looked like doll shoes, only ten sizes too big. She wiggled her toes and sighed, sinking back into the loveseat.
“How did you know my feet hurt? God, that feels wonderful.”
I gave her a wry smile. “You’re grouchier when your feet hurt. You’ve been on them too much today.”
I raised my eyebrow with accusation. She wasn’t supposed to be up for more than a few hours at a time, and she’d been going since before dawn with the preparations for the wedding. The night before they’d stayed up all night doing God only knew what, so she had to be worn out.
“I wasn’t on them all day. What do you want me to do? Sit around and miss the whole thing?”
I dug my thumb into the arch of her foot and rubbed upward. The tension in her face left immediately and she sighed happily.
“You’re so good to me,” she cooed. “So very good.”
Her eyes were closed, but her smile was wide and her shoulders were relaxed. That’s all I could ask for. I wanted her to have fun, but her well-being was more important.
“I could really go for another piece of cake after this. Will you get it for me?”
I laughed. “Is this all you want me for? To get you food and rub your feet?”
She opened one eye and looked up. “Oh, I want you for other things—but those are later.”
I squeezed her foot hard for teasing me. I was ready to explode watching her in her dress with her tits so full and plump and her long legs showing. She was more beautiful than ever. She was ripe all over and insatiable all day, every day. It was every man’s dream—mine especially.
“Upstairs,” I said gruffly. “Now.”
She shook her head. “Not yet. I want to watch Jayne and Flynn leave for their honeymoon. That’s so romantic.”
I growled and let my hand travel up the hem of her skirt, caressing the soft bare skin of her thigh. She gasped and tried to smack my hand away, but she was at a disadvantage with her belly. I smiled triumphantly and squeezed the tender skin between her legs.
“Stop!” she hissed. “Not here.”
I shook my head and extended my middle finger to rub against her panties. I could almost feel her throb against me as I rubbed her, and I could definitely see the want in her eyes.
I leaned forward and ran my tongue over her lips. The tiny panting breaths against my lips went straight for my cock. Those little pants were my favorite part when we fucked. With every thrust, she’d pant harder and harder.
“I want you,” I whispered. “Right fucking now.”
“We can’t,” she whimpered. “After they leave.”
I shook my head and sucked her bottom lip into my mouth and pushed my finger against her pussy. I curled it upward and flicked her clit with my thumb.
Her breath hitched and her hips jolted with the pressure, and I was sure I had her right where I wanted her. I was just about to pick her up and carry her upstairs when she pushed against my chest.
“There they are. We’ll go upstairs after they leave.”
I turned my head, and as disappointed as I was that the sex would be delayed, I had to smile when I saw them walking toward us. The party was dwindling down finally, and I knew Flynn was just as anxious to get his woman alone as I was. In fact, by the look on his face, he was desperate.
“Is everything okay?”
Jayne bent down and kissed Kelsey’s cheek and put the back of her hand against her forehead. “You should get upstairs and rest. Why don’t you two just stay here tonight,” she said, turning to face me.
“I planned on it,” I told her.
“I’m fine,” Kelsey said. “My feet are just killing me.”
I looked up and caught Flynn staring at my hands on her feet, and cleared my throat. “If you want to consummate your new marriage tonight, I suggest you get your eyes off my girl’s feet.”
He laughed. “Calm down. She just looks swollen. You need help getting her upstairs?”
“I’ve got her,” I said.
I’d been carrying her around for months, and now that she was able to walk alone, I sort of missed it. I liked her relying on me, and even though she didn’t need it, I wanted to do it.
“We’re about to head out. Are you sure you’re all right?”
“Fine,” Kelsey said, laughing. She put her hand on Jayne’s arm and sat up. “Don’t worry about me. I’m just tired. You kept me up too late last night with all your dirty stories.”
The tips of Jayne’s ears turned pink, and she shot an apologetic smile my way. “Not all of them. A girl has to have some secrets.”
I rolled my eyes. “I can only imagine.”
I felt warm, like a gust of heat had rushed into the room and wrapped around our little circle. We’d been inseparable since returning, and even before that. I would miss Jayne while she was gone, but I was looking forward to having Kelsey all to myself. Jayne could be a real mother hen when she wanted to, and when it came to Kelsey, she was all or nothing.
I was glad, though. Kelsey’s parents hadn’t reached out to her since leaving the hospital, and she figured they never would. It was just as well—anything she needed, I would give her, and anything I couldn’t, Jayne and Flynn would. She wasn’t alone and never would be again.
The ring in the inner pocket of my jacket felt hot and heavy and reached for it, rubbing it slowly. It was reassuring having it there. I hadn’t decided when or where I’d ask her, but I was getting there.
I’d had several impulses to do it, but it had never been right. I wanted it to be perfect. It had to be perfect.
Jayne thought I was hesitating because I was scared, but that wasn’t it at all. I had no doubt that she’d say yes. It was just a matter of whipping out the ring and asking the question.
“Well, if you’re sure,” Jayne said. “But if anything happens, you call us right away.”
I rolled my eyes again. “Don’t you trust me to take care of my woman? Get out of here. I can see your husband’s blue balls glowing through his damn pants.”
“Thanks,” he said dryly. I gave him a shrug.
“Okay,” she said with a small sigh. “I guess this is it.”
Her eyes started to water and she turned her head, whispering something in Kelsey’s ear and then kissed her again before turning to me.
“Thank you for today,” she said, her voice wobbling with emotion. “Having you give me away today meant everything to me. I couldn’t have done this without you, Vince.”
I moved Kelsey’s feet to the side, gave her a small smile, and stood and grabbed Jayne in a bone-crushing hug. I couldn’t have been more proud if I had been her father. I guess I was the closest thing, filling the spot of father, big brother, best friend, and everything in between, but she filled my spots, too. Flynn was the missing piece for her, and he’d closed that circle flawlessly.
“Love you, kid. You’re a beautiful bride, and I am so glad I was here to see it.”
She sniffled and squeezed me back before letting go.
“Great. My makeup’s all fucked up.”
I wiped under her eyes and leaned down to kiss the tip of her nose, and then left a soft kiss on her lips.
I turned to Flynn, standing impatiently by as we said our goodbyes. I owed the man a lot. We didn’t always see eye-to-eye, but he was a good man. The best one for Jayne, and I trusted him to take care of her. I’d handed her over, and symbolically, handing over the reins was harder on me than I thought it would be.
“Take care of her. Be careful.”
He nodded, and I held out my hand for him to shake.
“You do the same,” he said, nodding at Kelsey. “Both of them.”
He kissed Kelsey, gave her a short worried lecture about staying off her feet, and then they were off, jogging through the crowd of guests toward their European adventure as a married couple.
“Jayne Maguire,” I said softly. “I’ll be damned.
Chapter Twenty-One
As a man, I was ragged and sharp, dishonest and corrupt. I never imagined the day when I’d be contemplating what color to paint a bedroom, or what an acceptable carat would be for a ring, but there I was, surrounded by love and possibilities. I’d been put back together and back on track by two beautiful, strong, and loving women. My women.
Whatever the future held for me, I wouldn’t have to do it alone. I’d have a family behind me. I wouldn’t have to wear my sins alone. My sins had become my salvation, and I was taking that shit with both hands, and with a full heart.
With those two hands, I held what I never dreamed could ever be mine. A little pink bundle with bright eyes and a head full of brown hair stared back at me, full of innocence and unfathomable wisdom, like he’d known he was the answer all along.
Immediately I counted five fingers, five long, skinny toes, and a solid package. There wasn’t much more a man could ask for in the world—especially a man like me.
I held him up like a trophy for the angel smiling up at me, and choked down the lump in my throat. My hands shook, but there was no fear of dropping him. He belonged in my arms, the same way his mother did. We belonged to each other—a team ready to take on the world.
