Interfering, page 8
His mouth covered mine, gentle and careful, as if I were made of the most fragile crystal he was careful not to break. I moved my lips against his, and my eyes fluttered shut. The horses stopped, but I barely paid notice. I was being kissed by Trent. He didn’t frighten me but brought out a carnal need for more. I grasped a fistful of his shirt, and he snaked his hand around to cup the back of my head. His fingers stroked my hair. A shiver of raw desire coursed down my spine.
I shouldn’t be doing this, but I didn’t care about what might be the right thing for both of us. I couldn’t think clearly enough to make sense of the sensations gently gliding through my body, as if I were floating in warm tropical water, and I never wanted to get out.
For this one moment, I let all my doubts and fears dissipate and lived in the moment.
Chapter Eleven
That Kiss
~~Trent~~
Kissing Heidi was the most arousing thing I’d done in a long time, and I’d done a lot of arousing things in my life.
She drew back first, her pretty face glowing with embarrassment and something else, desire most likely. Once again, I was presented with proof she did feel the same about me. Then, right before my eyes, she withdrew and crawled back into her shell. I kicked myself for moving faster than she was comfortable with.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” I rushed to do damage control.
She lifted her face to mine. “It’s okay. I liked it.” Her voice was faint, and I barely heard her, but I did hear her. Those whispered words gave me hope. My heart soared higher than it should’ve. I was probably reading too much into her remark, but I needed something to hang on to.
“So did I.”
We locked gazes once more. A slow smile kicked up the corners of that sexy mouth I’d been kissing only moments ago. She gave Star a nudge to wake him up. He’d been dozing through all the good stuff. I guess kissing wasn’t good stuff to horses.
Red heaved a big sigh as I directed him to fall in step beside her.
“We interrupted their nap.”
“I know, right?” She giggled.
The pleasant sound reminded me of the tinkling of the wind chimes my mom hung on our front porch back home. That was Heidi. Being around her was comfortable, like going home. She may not be the most gorgeous woman, or have the hottest body, or the best dressed, but she was all that to me. Heidi had become my personal preoccupation during the off-season. Yet it went further than that. I’d been interested in her during the season, too. My interest had ramped up when I didn’t have hockey to distract me.
“Do you know you’re the most beautiful, sweetest, kindest woman I’ve ever known?” I spoke from the heart and hoped she’d hear the sincerity in my voice.
Instead of blushing and ducking her head, which she often did when issued a compliment, she giggled again. “Then I guess you haven’t known many women.”
She was teasing me, and I loved it. We were making progress.
“I’ve known more women than I care to admit.” I realized my faux pas the moment it came out of my mouth. My words were meant to flatter, and I hope she took it that way. Her past was her past. I’d love to know more about her background, but only to understand her better, not to pass judgment.
We do what we have to do with the tools we’ve been given at the time.
My major concern was how dangerous her former profession had been and what might’ve happened to her along the way. Sex workers were assaulted all the time, and few rarely reported it for obvious reasons. Not only was prostitution illegal, but they feared no one would take them seriously.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
She held up a finger to silence me. “It’s okay. I know you didn’t. You’re not like the rest.”
I’d take that as a huge compliment. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
Once more, we locked gazes, and my world flipped on its axis, throwing me off-balance. My breath hitched as my lungs forgot how to pump air. Every part of my body floated in the oasis that was Heidi’s essence.
“Why won’t you go out with me?” I blurted, once again not sticking with the plan, because being around her destroyed my brain functions.
She frowned and fiddled with her reins, running her hands up and down the leather and arranging them across her palm multiple times. I gawked, fascinated by her nervous response, even a little turned on, if that wasn’t weird as fuck.
“Heidi? I want to go out with you. There’s something magical between us. Something I’ll regret if I don’t explore these emotions I feel for you.”
“But this could go bad real fast.”
I didn’t understand. “How so?”
“You’re a popular hockey player, one of the team captains. People pay attention to who you date.”
“And that’s a problem?” I knew it was to her, but I wanted her to understand I didn’t care.
“It could be. They’ll crucify you in the media if they delve into my past.”
“Heidi, stop worrying about me. I’m a big boy who can handle myself. I’m a first-line hockey player with a secure career. I’m good. But are you?”
“I…I don’t know. I’m not sure I could handle the exposure.”
“It’s the off-season. The media isn’t paying much attention to me. Why don’t we dip a toe in the water and see where this goes? I don’t care about what others think. The people who matter to us won’t care either.”
“What about your sisters?”
Well, that was a different issue. Over the years, my sisters hadn’t liked any woman I’d dated. I doubted Heidi would be any different, but I didn’t dare tell her and destroy what confidence she had.
“I can take care of my sisters. Besides, Livy likes you.”
She didn’t look convinced. I sighed, not wanting to force her beyond her comfort level, yet knowing that the only way to grow is to be forced out of that comfort level. I’d protect her. She’d do fine. I might be a hockey player, but I’d always kept a relatively low profile. I doubted things would change.
“Trent, I have done a lot of things I’m not proud of. I just don’t know if I’m strong enough to weather a media storm if one hits.”
“I’ll be there with you every step of the way, but we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Let’s try something safe for starters. Be my date for the big wedding next weekend.”
The big wedding I referred to was Michella and Briggs. When they decided to do something, they jumped in with both feet. They’d only recently gotten engaged, but Briggs wasn’t taking any chances and wanted the marriage to happen sooner rather than later. The Barlowes volunteered their mansion as the venue, and everything took off from there.
“You were already going, and I was going, so it makes sense.”
“Okay. I think that would be fine.”
I grinned wider than a guy who’d won the Stanley Cup. “Great,” I said.
“We should be heading back. It’s getting late.”
I glanced at my watch and realized we’d been riding on this path for an hour and a half. It’d take that long to get home and another half hour to cool out the horses.
“I guess we should.” I was reluctant to end this, but she was right.
We turned our horses around. As soon as we headed toward the barn, Red and Star picked up their heads and eagerly increased their pace. We’d probably be back sooner than I thought.
“I guess they’ve had enough of us for today,” Heidi laughed.
“I guess they have.”
As we rode back, I regaled her with funny stories from my hockey career, some self-deprecating, others about guys I’d played with. Her face lit up as she laughed at my stories. Satisfaction raced through me at making her happy.
Heidi left as soon as we put the horses away. My world dulled without her. I stood in the driveway and watched her old Toyota disappear around a bend in the road. Hogan shoved his nose into my palm, as if to make me feel better. I scratched his head and sighed.
“Heidi left? I’m sorry I missed her,” Livy said.
“Yeah, she’s gone.”
“Did you have a good time?” She studied me closely, and by her smug expression, she already knew that answer. I nodded anyway.
“I like her, but she’s secretive. She’s hiding something. Never wants to talk about herself. Always steers the conversation away from her.”
“She didn’t have the best childhood, and she’s ashamed of it, even though she shouldn’t be. She’s a survivor, and I’m proud of how far she’s come.”
“How far has she come?” Livy asked pointedly.
“Far enough to be where she is now.”
“That’s a cryptic answer if I ever heard one.”
I shrugged, grateful that my other two sisters chose this moment to return from their excursion. Evie spotted us and stopped her car near the barn. The two got out.
“How’d it go?” Livy asked her sisters.
“Great. We have some ideas we’re definitely going to implement. I’ll fill you in at dinner.” Evie’s gaze swung between Livy and me. “What’ve you guys been up to?”
I shrugged. “Not much.”
Lill wrinkled her nose. “You smell like horses. You’ve been riding?”
“Don’t sound so incredulous,” I said.
“You don’t like to ride.”
“I never said that.”
“But you insinuated it.”
“Whatever.” I waved her off.
“Did you and Liv go for a ride together?” Evie pushed, intuitively knowing we weren’t telling her the entire story. She wouldn’t give up until she got it, so I spilled the truth.
“Heidi came out to ride.”
Evie scowled, and Lill followed her lead. “Why did you do that?”
“Because I like her, and she was dying to ride a horse.”
“She didn’t have to ride our horses,” Lill pointed out.
“This is my farm, and I invited her. End of story. Get over it.”
“Aren’t you touchy, big brother?” Lill teased, while Evie narrowed her gaze and studied my face.
“Trent, you aren’t falling for that woman, are you? I thought you were smarter than that.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“She’s not good enough for you.”
“How the fuck would you know that? You don’t know anything about her.” I’d inadvertently thrown down the gauntlet and made a huge mistake. I knew my oldest sister, and I’d unwittingly challenged her to find out everything she could about Heidi. I tried to soften my statement. “Give her a chance. You might like her. She did Livy’s hair last week. Livy’s giving her a chance.”
Evie’s and Lill’s heads swung toward Livy. “I wondered who did your hair.” Evie left that statement hanging between us, not giving me a clue if that was good or bad.
“Yes, you guys should try her out. She’s reasonably priced, listens, and does a good job.”
Evie harrumphed, and Lill grimaced.
“Girls, I appreciate your concern, but I make my own decisions on who I hang out with. You’ve disliked every girlfriend I’ve ever had.”
“And rightfully so. You choose the manipulative gold diggers the three of us can see right through.” Evie punctuated her point by jabbing her finger at me, much as our mother did when I stole a handful of cookies from the cookie jar.
Only Heidi wasn’t a cookie, and I wasn’t a child. I was a grown-ass man with needs and desires, and I needed and desired Heidi.
~~Heidi~~
I was racked with doubt. I shouldn’t have agreed to go to the wedding with Trent. It sent a message I didn’t want to send, yet I wanted to go with him. My resistance was all shot to hell around him. I craved being near him, even while I rejected doing so.
He was a public figure, and this would never end well. But maybe for the summer, while the media focused on baseball and weren’t paying attention to hockey players? Or was that how it worked?
I should be safe being seen with him this summer. No one would probably notice. Right?
I didn’t know. I’d never dated a pro athlete. Actually, I’d never dated in my life, unless I called my time with clients dates, which most escorts did.
But this was a whole new type of dating, and I didn’t know how to do it. Backing out was an option, but probably not a viable one. I was helping with the guest book, and Trent was in the wedding party. We had to be there. So what if we came together? It didn’t mean a damn thing.
Who was I kidding? A date with Trent meant everything to me.
Then there were my unspoken fears that always huddled in a dark corner of my mind, and I had a lot of dark corners, about his profession and how violent it was. Did that make him a violent man? I’d seen him play hockey. He was intense and quick and powerful, and sometimes he was violent. Was I being fair? Was it possible to play a fierce sport but not personally be violent?
When are you going to stop living in fear of your past catching up to you, Heidi?
Trent knew about my former career path, but he didn’t know all of it. He didn’t know the things I’d been forced to do during that career, and I’d be appalled if he ever found out. He also didn’t know about my reservations because of his career.
Regardless of all my doubts, I was putting on my big-girl panties and going for it.
* * *
Michella came to the salon on Saturday, and I did her hair before the wedding. After she left, I styled Leila’s and Everly’s hair as they were in the bridal party.
I didn’t have anyone to do mine, but they helped me the best they could. I left it curly and loose. Next, we went to Aspen’s place to get ready and were joined by Everly. She booted Dash out of the house, and he gladly escaped.
Everly had brought several dresses for me to try on, as we were similar in size. I was grateful that I didn’t have to spend my meager funds on an outfit I’d never wear again, nor would I have been able to afford the designer dresses she had in her closet.
“This one is so you,” Aspen gushed while the others nodded their agreement.
I stared down at the V-neck sheath in a light pink. It had a pleated ruffle on one hip that raised the portion of the dress to show more leg. It was understated, conservative, and classy. I loved it, too.
“This one it is.” I smiled gratefully at my besties. They’d rallied around me through the worst life had to throw at me this past year, and I was humbled by their loyalty. I’d never had friends like this until I’d met Everly and Leila at the Rainbow Unicorn Art Studio, a place for the homeless and disadvantaged to engage in a positive experience by creating art. Many of the pieces created there had been sold at charity auctions for generous sums of money. The proceeds had been split between the charity and the artist. I’d received a very nice sum for the dark charcoal I’d done of a little girl huddled under a ragged blanket in the doorway of a derelict building. I secretly called it a self-portrait, but publicly I called it Homeless Child. Briggs had the high bid of twenty-five thousand dollars, which was insane, but I’d heard he’d gotten into a bidding war with Michella’s ex. It could’ve been anyone’s artwork but happened to be mine. I never had the nerve to ask Briggs or Michella where he’d put the charcoal, if anywhere.
I’d been that scared little girl in my drawing a time or two, and she still lived inside me, coming out at times.
Now that I’ve started my hair design business, my confidence increased bit by bit. I was learning to defend myself and speak up when I didn’t like something, though not as often as I should. Trent had been part of my confidence boost merely by being around and showing interest. He’d never given me a reason to doubt him, yet I did.
* * *
Leila and I arrived early at the Barlowes’ mansion. Trent wanted to pick me up, but he had groomsman duties, so I came with my friend. The mansion was intimidating in its size, and I stumbled as we walked up the wide front steps. Leila put her arm through mine and gave me an encouraging smile.
“They’re just people like you and me, Heidi.”
I nodded, but I didn’t agree. The Barlowes weren’t like me. They had no idea what it was like to sleep in a doorway or dig through a dumpster for their next meal. She’d made the comment to make me feel comfortable, but it didn’t, though I appreciated her effort.
The ornately carved double wooden doors stood wide open. We stepped inside the foyer, and I gasped. I gaped wide-eyed and speechless at such grandeur. The entry was close to three stories high with an impressive chandelier hanging from the ceiling. A grand staircase curved upward toward a landing. The floors were marble. I ran my hand absently over the wooden railing and admired the color and style.
Everly was so down-to-earth and approachable, and I had a hard time coming to terms with her growing up with such wealth. Besides owning the Icehawks, the Barlowes were a pioneer Portland family who built a fortune through shipping and logging. Later, they branched out into various IT endeavors.
This house, if you could call it a house, was a hundred years old. The intricate craftsmanship wasn’t found in houses today because the craftsmen weren’t available for any price.
“This way.” Leila prodded me out of my stupor and led me by the arm through the grand entry toward the back of the house and outside.
Inez, a good friend of Michella and Everly and the admin assistant for the team president, had taken on the role of organizer, like a sergeant assembling her troops. She positioned me near the entrance to the garden area where the wedding would be held. I’d be the first person guests encountered, and I was determined to play my part perfectly, even if conversing with these strangers made me nervous. The first thing I needed to do was stop looking so amazed and pretend being around all this glamour and elegance was an everyday occurrence.
A pair of women I didn’t know handed out programs nearby. They gave me the once-over and ignored me as unworthy of their attention. I refused to feel inadequate and gave them the same treatment.
