Interfering, page 16
After we finished, we cuddled together on the outdoor wicker love seat and sipped wine. Heidi was sated both sexually and nutritionally. Now was as good a time as ever to bare my soul.
I turned toward her and took her hands in mine. She gave me her complete attention, as if she’d picked up on the seriousness of what I was about to say.
“Heidi, my life has changed for the better since you’ve come into it.”
“So has mine.” She gazed up at me with a flushed face and a shy smile. I loved my timid Heidi just as much as I loved my bold-in-the-bedroom Heidi.
I cleared my throat and placed a finger under her chin to lift her head. “These last few months have been some of the best of my life.”
“Mine, too.” She averted her gaze momentarily before leveling me with a meaningful glance. “Trent, you’re my savior. The one person who believes in me above anyone else.”
“I’d love to take credit, but you saved yourself, sweetheart. I was just along for the ride.”
“You underestimate yourself.”
I shrugged. She was trying to make this all about me and deflecting attention from herself. I wasn’t letting her get away with it this time. Tonight was about Heidi, not me.
“I don’t want to lose you.” If I sounded a little desperate, well, I was.
She blinked a few times before her eyes widened, but she didn’t say anything. I’d clearly caught her off guard, and she didn’t know how to respond. I had to tell her what was in my heart, even if I feared rejection.
“Heidi, since I’ve met you, I’ve discovered there’s so much more to life than hockey. I live for our moments together. You occupy my thoughts during the day, and you’re the only woman I want next to me at night. You’ve become the most important person in my world.”
“I—I—don’t know what to say.”
“I love you.” I blurted out those three little words before fear of rejection prevented me. I’d planned on making this romantic speech extolling my love for her and pledging to always be there when she needed me, but my brain had stalled. The only way I could jump-start it had been to say I love you.
Heidi gasped, and her luscious lips formed an O. I’d rendered her speechless. I waited patiently for her to say something, but she didn’t.
“I can see your wheels turning. You’re trying to justify in that pretty little head of yours why I couldn’t possibly love you, but I do. I fucking love you, Heidi. I want you in my life. I want everyone to know we’re together. I want you at my games, and on my arm, and everywhere else. I want to give you everything you’ve ever dreamed of.”
“You’ve already given me everything because you gave me yourself.”
I swallowed, momentarily unable to speak around the lump in my throat.
“But Trent, what if people find out about me?” Heidi stood abruptly and walked a few steps to lean on the deck railing. The anguish on her face twisted my stomach. Suddenly things weren’t going the way I’d hoped, but sadly, her reaction wasn’t surprising.
“Oh, baby, I’d love to tell you that no one will ever find out, but I’d be lying. They will find out, because there’s probably stuff online if the right person looks for it. But together, we can handle anything that’s thrown at us. We’re stronger together than we are apart.” I rose to my feet and wrapped her in my arms. She didn’t resist but hugged me back, giving my worried soul a little comfort.
Heidi buried her head in my chest before those sky-blue eyes full of worry lifted to mine. “There could be awful things out there. You might not like me much if they come out.”
“There’s nothing that’ll change how I feel about you.”
“This will.” She sounded so convinced, I rushed to reassure her.
“I love you. This person in front of me. You. With all your baggage, I still love you, and nothing will change that.”
“I don’t know.”
The fact that she hadn’t said I love you back slapped me up the side of my head. “Heidi, you can talk to me about anything. I hope you know that.”
She sniffled and managed a half- smile. “I love you, Trent. I wish things were simpler.”
She loved me. My heart sang a hundred love songs in the span of ten seconds. She loved me. Everything else was background noise. She mattered. That was it.
“We can do this, Heidi. Don’t let fear push me away.”
She nodded slowly. “I don’t want to, but your reputation, what would it do to you if this got out?”
“Not a damn fucking thing. I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve already talked to Addison. She’s on top of it and has contingency plans for whatever might happen.”
“Okay.” She spoke in that small voice she’d used when we’d first met— the one that relayed she didn’t matter, that she was nobody, that she was damaged goods. Damn it. I had to convince her she did matter. A lot. To me. But first, I had to know…
“Heidi, what happened during that month you were missing?”
She shook her head violently. “I can’t…I can’t talk about it. Maybe someday.”
“Okay.” I conceded, knowing this was one battle I wouldn’t win tonight.
“What about your sisters?”
“What about them? They’re not dating you. I am. They don’t get to decide who I fall in love with.”
“Trent—” Heidi looked away, but not before I saw the anguish on her pretty face. “ Family is important to you. I don’t want to be a wedge between you and your sisters.”
“You won’t be. They’ll come around.”
“Do you really believe that? Especially once they know my background?”
“They don’t need to know.”
“Trent, you’re not making sense. You said it was inevitable that my story would get out. I’m not living that lie with them. I’m not. They either accept me as I am, or they don’t, but I’m not lying to them. I don’t want them to find out elsewhere.”
She had a point, and I knew it. In fact, I was surprised that one of my sisters hadn’t cyberstalked Heidi and found that she’d been arrested for solicitation on a couple occasions. But they hadn’t, because they’d have told me if they’d found out. The animal rescue kept them too busy to be their usual nosy selves; for that, I was grateful, but their lack of research wouldn’t last indefinitely. I knew my sisters. Once they found out I was serious about a committed relationship with Heidi, they’d do their damnedest to find out everything they could about Heidi and protect me if necessary. Only I didn’t need or want their protection. I was a big boy. I made my own decisions.
“I’ll tell them. I promise.”
“We’ll tell them. Together. Maybe this weekend?”
“Are you sure you want to be there?”
“I don’t want to be there, but I have to be there, or they’ll forever see me as someone they can walk all over.” She had that right. My sisters were ruthless when they perceived weakness.
“Damn, but I love you. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.” I wrapped her once again in my arms and held her tight, never wanting to let go. She clung to me as if she feared losing me, but I wasn’t going anywhere. I was in this for the long haul.
Chapter Twenty-Five
My Family
~~Heidi~~
The next night, Michella, Aspen, and I sat at the bar in the Puck. Our friend Leila was bartending and occasionally joined us when things were slow. Of course, she didn’t partake in the alcohol since she was on shift, but she did put in her two cents regarding the conversation.
We sipped on wine and gorged on nachos. The Puck had the best nachos in Portland, all gooey and dripping in cheese, topped with green onions, tomatoes, jalapeños, and onions. Meat and beans were under the chips. We joked that it was a meal for four women or one hockey player.
“Any news on your mom?” I asked Aspen. Even though her mom was a sore subject, I felt, as a concerned friend, I should ask for an update once in a while.
“No, nothing, really.” Aspen sighed and swished the wine around in her glass as if it held the answers to her questions. But it didn’t.
“I’m so sorry.” I patted her hand while she blinked back tears and wiped her eyes with a napkin.
“Carla and I are working on it. There’s just so little to go on.” Michella’s sympathetic gaze held disappointment.
“I know you’re trying, but it’s hard not to get discouraged.” Aspen managed a half- smile that didn’t override the sadness lurking in her eyes.
“Something will break. Time passes, and someone has to know something. Eventually, their conscience will get the best of them, and they’ll spill what they know. Carla has a cooperative relationship with Portland PD. The lead detective was her old partner. He’ll inform her of any break in the case.” Michella’s positive spin wasn’t much but seemed to help.
“Let’s talk about good things,” Aspen said. “How’s married life, Michella?”
Michella laughed, and Aspen and I exchanged glances.
“Hey, it’s great, but there are challenges with two strong, stubborn individuals both wanting things their way. We’re learning to compromise. And the makeup sex is great.”
We all shared a laugh, and the tension from earlier faded. Michella and Briggs loved each other passionately, and I would guess they’d also fight and make up with the same passion.
“What’s the status of your love life?” Michella turned the attention to me, just as Leila returned to the bar and slid over to our little group.
“They’re going at it hot and heavy. In fact, if Heidi’s working, Trent is usually sitting at the bar.” Leila grinned in my direction before turning to the other two. “They’re so damn cute together, and two of the nicest people I know.”
“We’re so happy for both of you,” Aspen gushed.
“Trent said he loved me.” Usually I didn’t talk about the details of our relationship, except for that one girls’ night when I was wasted drunk.
Michella shrieked with joy and hugged me, followed by Aspen. Leila leaned across the bar and squeezed my arm. Their reactions assuaged some of my doubts, but not all. I needed to talk with them.
“You don’t seem happy about it.” Michella was pretty perceptive and noticed stuff.
“I’m over the moon, but his sisters don’t like me.”
“Sisters can be brutal. I should know. I have two sisters.” Leila made a face, which I wasn’t able to interpret. I’d never heard before that she had two sisters. She’d never mentioned them, let alone introduced them to any of us. Maybe they lived elsewhere. Leila and I had been good friends for a few years, but I couldn’t recall her ever talking about her family. I’d never asked questions because that’d only expose me to questions about my own highly dysfunctional and abusive family.
“I thought Livy was a friend.” Michella reached for some nachos and popped them into her mouth. She chewed slowly, but her eyes were on me.
“She’s not a good friend but is way more accepting of me than the other two.” I guessed what they were thinking and answered the question I knew they wouldn’t ask. “They don’t know about my life as an escort. Trent and I are telling them tomorrow night before they find out for themselves.”
My three friends absorbed this tidbit of information without a word, and I felt I should say more.
“I don’t know what’ll happen. I’m scared they’ll really turn on me then.”
“Maybe at first, but give them some time to absorb the information and appreciate that you were honest and straightforward.” Leila filled our wineglasses without us asking. This was only my second and my last of the evening. The last thing I wanted was to battle a hangover tomorrow. I’d need my wits about me for the big reveal, as I secretly thought of it.
“Remember, Heidi. Being an escort was your job, not who you are. And if they can’t see the goodness in you, then that’s their loss.” Michella bristled, already in protective mode.
“Trent is such a good guy. His sisters have to be good people, too, deep down. They were all raised by the same parents. Give them time, and don’t take their first reactions too seriously. You hold your ground, and you stand proud. You’ve come a long way. You never succumbed to drugs like many others in that profession. You’ve always been an honest, kind person. That’s what really matters.”
I nodded. My friends were giving me good advice, and I appreciated every word.
“We’re here for you. We’ve got your back. We love you.” Leila held up her glass, and we clinked them together.
“We love you,” Michella and Aspen repeated.
“I love you guys, too.” Suddenly overcome by emotion, I choked up, and hot tears burned my eyes. I wiped them with a bar napkin. Michella put her arm around me.
“You can do this. You’re so strong.” Aspen put her arms around Michella and me. Leila skirted the bar to join our group hug. I fought the emotion threatening to turn into sobs. I wasn’t going to cry. Not tonight. And hopefully not tomorrow.
My friends’ support meant the world to me. I wasn’t in this alone. I had them, and I had Trent. They were my family, as surely as if we’d all been blood.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Find Heidi
~~Trent~~
Saturday night, I invited my sisters to join Heidi and me for a nightcap. I’d nixed having them over for dinner. If they overreacted, which there was a good chance they would, we didn’t need them ruining our meal. I prepared Heidi as best I could, but she was in full fret mode, not that I blamed her. I wasn’t exactly looking forward to this discussion. I’d gone over my side of the conversation a hundred times in my head. I might as well get it over with.
They showed up, already on the defensive, as if they sensed something was going on.
I felt like a gunslinger at the shootout at OK Corral. Evie, Lill, and Livy were on one side of the room, with Heidi, Hogan, and me on the other. We were outmatched, but we’d do our best to hold our own. Hogan lay next to Heidi with his head on her lap, offering his support. That dog had an uncanny sense regarding who needed his support the most in certain situations.
Before I had the opportunity to execute my well-rehearsed speech, Evie took the floor. I braced myself, realizing that my offensive attack was about to turn defensive. I hadn’t planned for this situation.
“Okay, dear brother, we don’t approve of your relationship, and we’re concerned about you. You’re a good guy, and you have a tendency to only see the best in someone. The way we see it, Heidi is using you. She’s found her ticket to paradise, and she’s going to hold on for all she’s got.” Evie shook her finger at Heidi, whose face reflected her sorrow and distress. I held her hand and turned on my sister, ready to defend the woman I loved.
“That’s bullshit, and you know it.”
“It’s not bullshit. Do you have any clue what you’re getting into?”
“Absolutely. Do you?” I shouldn’t have asked that question, because I opened Pandora’s box.
The three exchanged pitying glances before facing me again.
“We know something about her you obviously don’t.”
“No, you don’t know shit.” I scowled, certain they’d already dug into Heidi’s background and beat us to the punch. I scrambled to formulate a new plan on the fly.
“You know?” A little of the wind went out of Evie’s sails, and she was momentarily off-balance and unsure how to proceed.
“Of course I know. Heidi and I have no secrets between each other.” I ignored Heidi’s quiet little gasp as I prepared to face my sisters in battle.
“Then you know she’s been arrested multiple times for solicitation?”
“I do.” I spoke calmly and kept my gaze pinned on Evie. Heidi clutched my hand harder, and I gave it a little squeeze.
“Is that how you met? Are you still paying her?” Evie crossed her arms over her chest. Her chin jutted out stubbornly, a very bad sign.
“No and no.” I tamped down my anger, knowing losing my temper wouldn’t get me anywhere. I racked my brain for a proper response as my rehearsed speech escaped me.
“Did you hear me, brother? She worked as an escort.”
“I know, but she’s not anymore. Besides, it doesn’t define who she is or negate what a good person she is.”
“She’s a sex worker. That’s who she is, and you’re her meal ticket.”
If I hadn’t been raised not to lay hands on a woman, I’d have slapped my sister’s face. Heidi wrenched her hand out of mine and bolted for the door. I ran after her, but so did Hogan, and we tangled our legs together and fell into a heap. By the time I’d regained my feet, Heidi’s car was nothing but a cloud of dust in the driveway. Livid and ready to kick some figurative ass, I spun around.
“You’re being fucking bitches, and I will not tolerate any of you disrespecting her.” I chanced a glance at Livy, but she glared back, standing with her sisters.
“We’re not going to like her, so give it up. And quit trying to force us.” My sisters could be ruthless, especially when they were operating under some misdirected belief I needed their intervention.
“Well, I do, and you don’t get a vote on who my friends are.”
“Friends?” Evie’s mouth pursed as if she’d just sucked a lemon.
“Okay, more than friends. I love her, and she’s going to be part of my life for a long time to come. Get fucking used to it.”
“You love her?” Lill shrieked as if I’d just done something reprehensible, like kick the dog.
“Yes, I love her.” I spoke emphatically, making it clear how serious I was.
“Are you planning on marrying her?” Livy glanced at me, then her sisters.
“Liv, you liked Heidi. Nothing’s changed. She’s still Heidi. So what if she has a past that’s not what the mainstream considers acceptable? She was a victim of sex trafficking. She did the best she could with the hand she was dealt. None of you have the right to pass judgment when you don’t understand her circumstances.”
