I'm Fine....Thanks, page 31
“You’re in shock,” Carol wrapped her arms around me and kissed my cheeks. “I’m going to be a grammy again.”
“Yes, you are.”
“Are you alright?”
“Just shocked. I am happy, this is just unexpected.” I hugged her back.
“You make my son so happy, and I can see he does the same for you. When love is involved, time never matters. I fell in love with Bray’s father in one weekend. I knew when that weekend was over that I wanted to spend forever with that man, and I did until his last breath.”
Now we were both wiping tears away. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I experienced the greatest love of my life. Was it perfect? No. Show me a love that is perfect, and I’ll show you a liar. A love like the one you and Bray share only comes around once in a blue moon.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Carol.” I hugged her tightly.
She spoke so highly of her husband and the love they shared. Bray was a direct result of the love they shared, and if we could even have half of that, I would be satisfied.
“Happy New Year, Auntie!” I smiled into the phone, knowing there was a time difference. She would more than likely be asleep by the time the ball dropped back home.
Keeping my pregnancy a secret from Bray these past few days had been so hard. I wanted to reveal it to him in my own way, and tonight was perfect. Ember, Harlym, Ashton, and Laurent flew in to celebrate New Year’s with us. My mom was staying at Harlym’s house with my aunt while she was here in Paris.
“Thank you, baby. How is it there? Does it get crazy like here?”
“Girl, yes. Fireworks and everything. Look,” I flipped the camera so she could see the Eiffel Tower. “You see it?”
“It’s beautiful, Stori. I’ve always wanted to visit it.”
“Auntie, we will come back here the day you’re in remission. I promise you.” I held back my tears as I watched her.
Harlym had tears in her eyes. “We will eat in the restaurant and pop the most expensive fucking bottle,” she added.
Ashton was sitting next to her. I was waiting for him to say something slick, but instead, he handed her a napkin. “And that’s on me.” He said.
I smiled at him. “I’m holding all of you to it.” She pointed her finger at me.
“Hey Auntie, how you feeling?” Bray came behind me and got into the camera.
“Better. Radiation is always so rough on me. I want to thank you for helping us with that oncologist.”
“We’re family.”
“We never count favors,” Ashton said.
When she yawned for the third time, I knew she was tired. “Alright, Auntie. I will call you tomorrow. I have some news to tell you.”
“Okay. Love you, girls.”
“Love you more.” I handed Harlym back her phone.
Em was over near the bar on facetime. I waited patiently while she finished up her call and then hugged her. “Happy New Year, Em.”
“Whew, we’ve had a tough year.”
“We did.” I held her closer to me and whispered. “I’m pregnant.”
She pulled back with wide eyes. “Are you serious?”
“I wanted to tell you because I know how sens—”
“No. We’re not doing that. I am happy for you, Astoria. Just because my blessing hasn’t happened doesn’t mean I’m not happy. Does Bray know?”
“I’m going to tell him later.”
“You deserve this and everything that is happening for you and the girls.” She hugged me tightly.
“Thank you, Em.”
“See, it was worth going on that trip.” She winked.
Everyone danced until the early hours of the morning. Me and Bray went out onto the patio, and the Eiffel Tower lights had been shut off. “Damn, they turn it off?”
“Apparently so.” He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me on the neck. “I haven’t been honest with you, Bray.”
I could feel his body tense up behind me. “Doc, let’s enjoy tonight.”
“I have to get this off my chest.” I turned around and stared up at him.
I dug into the wide leg trouser pants I wore and placed the pregnancy test into his hand. “You’re pregnant?”
“Yes.”
Bray swooped in and picked me up while spinning me around. “I knew it. I fucking knew I had knocked you up.”
“How?”
“You’ve been tired all the time, and you started getting picky with the food you wanted. I felt like something was off with you.”
“Well, now we know why.”
“Do you know how you feel about it yet?”
“I’m happy. Excited that I get to go on this journey with you. I raised two babies in survival mode, and I never got to truly enjoy them because I was so busy trying to make sure we could afford to eat. I guess I’m excited to experience being a mother that has time to spend with her newborn.”
“I know how much your career means to you, so I would never ask you to quit.”
“Not quit. I am okay with taking some time away to focus on having a healthy baby.” He was surprised by my response.
I had a man that wanted to take care of me, and I was going to allow him to do it. Bray had told me numerous times that I didn’t have to work unless I wanted to. With me and the girls moving into the new house with him, I wanted to focus on this pregnancy and turning that house into our home.
Bray kissed me on the lips. “I love the shit out of you, Astoria.”
“I love you so much more, Baby. Thank you.” I kissed him on the lips and rested my head on his chest.
Whenever someone used to ask me if I was alright, my natural response was to say that I was fine and then thank them for their concern. The truth was that I was never actually fine and had been operating on autopilot. Masking my emotions because I knew that the person I was with didn’t give a damn about them. Now, whenever someone asked if I was alright, I could say that I was fine and actually mean it.
The End
Jahquel J., I'm Fine....Thanks
