To Fall Or Not To Fall, page 15
“Okay, Theo, look at it like this: I’m spying on myself.”
I just stare at her, and she bursts out laughing.
“I mean, when you put it like that, it doesn’t really make sense.”
“I mean, I don’t know. I just have a bachelor’s degree and an MBA, and I run—”
I pause, realizing I’d been about to admit that I run a Fortune 500 company.
“You run what?” she asks, eyebrows furrowing.
“I run marathons. Sometimes,” I say quickly. “But not that it has anything to do with this. I’m just saying I’d love to do whatever you want to do. And if you want to go around town spying on yourself, then you just tell me what to do, and I’ll do it.”
“Obviously, I’m not spying on myself. I’m looking to see who’s spying on me.”
“They’d have to be a pretty bad spy if we caught them.”
She puts her hands on her hips. “Theo Wilder. Really?”
“I told you—just call me Theo,” I say. I hate it when she mentions the fake last name I gave her.
“Well, anyway, I want to know who loves me enough to have left that love note. And I need a partner in crime. Are you going to help me?”
“I can help you. I mean… are you seriously asking me to sleuth through Coconut Beach to find a guy who may be your soulmate? Before we go back to my place and make love?”
I tilt my head to the side. “Is this your way of asking me if I’m looking for a devil’s threesome or something?”
“Oh my gosh. No. Of course not.” She shakes her head. “Really, Theo?”
“I’m just wondering,” I say, laughing. “Why do you want to know who left the letter so badly?”
“I don’t know.” She looks away. “I have my reasons.”
“Okay.” I nod slowly.
I wonder if I should tell her that I’m the one who left the letter. That I’d done it in a fit of madness, thinking it would be a good way to learn more about her. But I’d quickly dismissed pretending to like her as a means to gain information because I realized I did like her.
Maybe that’s why I feel so conflicted. Maybe that’s why Jenna’s words got to me. Because in the back of my mind, I know I’m in a terrible position if I come clean.
I don’t see how Ava could forgive me. I don’t know if I would forgive me. And yet, I know I need to. But I don’t want to. Not yet.
I don’t want to give up this feeling of being happy, this feeling of being warm and cozy. This feeling of having someone to do things with, to smile with, to laugh with, to joke around with.
“So we’re going to be Sherlock Holmes and Watson, then?” She grins at me.
“I don’t know if you’re Sherlock Holmes, and I certainly don’t feel like I am,” I say honestly.
She glares at me. “What are you trying to say? You don’t think I could be Sherlock Holmes?”
“Well, did Sherlock Holmes ever spy on himself?”
“Theo!” she says, hitting me on the shoulder.
I grab her hand and pull her toward me. I kiss her again, deeply, softly, with passion. I stare into her big brown eyes that are laughing, and I shake my head.
“What am I going to do with you?”
“I don’t know. Maybe take me to the fall festival.” She says it under her breath.
“What did you say?”
“Nothing.” She pulls away quickly. “I’m just going to finish with this customer, and then we’ll close up and go sleuthing.” She grins at me.
“Okay.”
I watch as she walks away and pull out my phone to look at my calendar. I have meetings waiting for me in New York City. I should have left Coconut Beach ages ago.
I scroll to see when the fall festival is. I really shouldn’t still be in town for that. And yet, I want to take her. I want to be with her. I want to experience it with her.
She’s the fall queen. I want to go to a kissing booth, eat cotton candy, ride the rides, hold her hand, bob for apples, carve pumpkins, and hold her close. I want to feel the cool breeze on my cheeks as I press her against the barn again and kiss her, touch her. I want to feel the crisp leaves beneath my feet.
I want to be here. I want to experience the festival Coconut Beach was made for.
And yet I know what it means—to her, to her grandma, to the entire town. Taking a date to the fall festival means the relationship is going somewhere.
And how could it possibly? She has no interest in coming to New York City, and I can’t give up my life to be in Coconut Beach. And I don’t know that she’d want me to if I ever built the hotel.
But what if you don’t? a voice whispers in my head.
I freeze. Because if I’m not here to make sure I close the deal for the hotel, then it means I’m only here for Ava.
Then it means emotions have guided me these last couple of weeks. And that’s something I abhor in people. I’ve always believed people should think with their brains, with their smarts, not their emotions.
I can’t let myself turn into one of those people I hate. I can’t let myself stray from my lifelong dream, my goal, my plan. Even if it’s for someone like Ava, whose smile is so bright it could stop traffic.
I groan as I feel a headache coming on. I’m in over my head. And I don’t know what I’m going to do.
Chapter Seventeen
Ava
“We’re like real-life detectives.” I giggle as we stroll through the town square, bundled up in wool jackets and colorful scarves. The leaves crunch beneath our feet, and I look over at him to see if he’s having a good time.
“You want to get some apple cider?” I ask him.
“Finally. That would be nice,” he says, grinning. “And maybe we can get some donuts.”
“Donuts? I have muffins back at the store.”
“Wait. I want something other than pumpkin spice—don’t kill me.” He says it quickly, and I burst out laughing.
“Are you trying to say you’re not into pumpkin spice?”
“I’m trying to say that one pumpkin spice something was okay. Two was pushing it. And three? Well… I don’t like it that much. I’m sorry. I like you, and I want to love pumpkin spice as much as you do.”
“It’s okay.” I shake my head. “I didn’t actually think about how much some people might not like pumpkin spice. Maybe—just maybe—I should have more items that don’t cater to just that.”
He nods slowly. “Might bring in more people.”
“True. So what I was thinking is maybe we’ll go and sit in the square and observe the store.”
“Which store?” He looks confused.
“My bookstore, of course.”
“But why would we be observing your store?”
“Because maybe I’ll see someone go in and write a letter. And if I see who’s written the letters, and there’s a letter for me tomorrow, I’ll know that they’re the one who left me the anonymous love letter.”
“That seems like a pretty absurd idea, Ava.”
“What? Come on. You’ve got to think it’s ingenious.”
“That’s not the word I’d use.” He laughs. “But if it allows me to spend more time with you…” He snakes his arm around my back. “Because I do love spending time with you.”
“And I love spending time with you.”
“Shall we get the apple cider and then figure out where we want to position ourselves?”
He nods as we make our way into the local coffee shop.
“I love it here,” I say. “It’s weird, because I’ve lived here my entire life, and most people want to leave the small town they grew up in, but I love it. This town feels like a storybook that you want to live in. It’s like a fairytale.”
“You think so?” he says. “Which fairytale would it be?”
“I don’t know. Snow White? Cinderella? But they had witches, and—you know what I mean. It just feels magical. Every season here feels magical. Fall, Christmas, spring, summer even.” I smile at him. “I think you’d like it here in the summer. A lot of people like it here in the summer, right? It’s one of the top destinations for tourists.”
“Yeah. You’re inundated with people. I’m guessing that’s why that corporation wants to buy your bookstore.”
“Yeah, I mean…” I shrug. “Not really. Of course, the money would be great, but I don’t even think they want it anymore, to be honest. I haven’t heard anything from them in the last week and a half. Maybe the developer realized that this is not the place for them, that we don’t want their big, fugly hotel taking over our town.”
He nods slowly. “That makes sense. This is a very picturesque and unique town. Very different from what it was like when I was growing up.”
“What was your childhood like? You never really speak about it,” I ask him gently. “Don’t feel pressured to tell me, of course. You don’t have to.”
“It’s okay. To be honest, all my parents talked about was money. How much money my dad was making on the stock market, how much money my mom was spending on clothes, how much money they had in the bank, how much their stocks were going up, and how much their real estate was worth. It was just always about money. We were constantly indoors. They didn’t really have time for me. It’s cliché, I suppose. Poor little rich boy and all that.”
“Hey, I can understand that growing up in an environment like that, you’d feel that money was the most important thing in your life. Do you think that now?” I ask him as we stop outside the coffee shop.
He opens the door for me, and I walk in.
“First, let’s look at the menu. I may actually get a pumpkin spice latte. But you can get a ci—”
“Oh, Ava.” He laughs, grabbing my hand and giving it a squeeze. I just smile at him.
“You want to share a donut with me?” he asks.
I nod slowly. “You can choose the donut.”
“I was thinking we’d get a frosted donut with sprinkles.”
“Sounds good to me. What about if I get a strawberry frosted one?”
“Sounds delicious.”
I lick my lips and rub my tummy. “Absolutely scrumptious.”
“You remind me of a girl on a TV show I used to watch when I was younger,” he says, his eyes lighting up.
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing? It wasn’t like a horror movie or something, right?”
“No. I can’t even remember the show. It would just be on sometimes. And she was always happy and smiling, and everyone in town loved her. She’d moved to this island with—I don’t know if it was her aunt or uncle or grandparents. Or maybe she was an orphan. And she just wanted everyone to like her. And she had this friend, this guy, and—I think it was set maybe in Canada…”
“Wait. You’re not talking about Anne of Green Gables, are you?” I ask him.
“Oh, maybe. That sounds familiar.”
“Was her friend’s name Gilbert? Gilbert Blythe?”
He shrugs. “Maybe.”
“It has to be Anne. Did she have long braids?”
He grins. “Yeah. And she used to wear a hat.”
“Oh my gosh. Are you telling me I remind you of Anne of Green Gables?”
“What? Only in that she had such a positive outlook, and she loved everyone, and she was friendly and sweet, and she saw the best in people. And that’s who you are. You see the best in people. Even when…” He takes a deep breath. “Even when they don’t deserve it.”
Why do I feel like the conversation suddenly got serious? I frown.
“Welcome to Coconut Beach Coffee Shop. How may I help you?”
“Hey, Jackson.”
“Hey there, Ava. How are you?”
“Good. We just came to get some drinks.”
“Wow. Haven’t seen you here in ages. Don’t you sell coffee at your own store?”
“I do, but I thought I’d support you today.” I smile, not wanting to tell him that I was about to spy on my store and thus couldn’t go in it.
“So, what can I get you today?”
“I’m going to get a large pumpkin spice latte, please.”
“And I’ll have an apple cider,” Theo says. “And can we get one of your strawberry frosted donuts with sprinkles?”
“Of course. Would you like anything else?”
“No, I think that’s all.”
“Okie dokie. That’s going to be $16.32, please.”
I reach for my wallet, and Theo glares at me.
“You’re joking, right?”
“What?”
“You are not buying the drinks and the donuts.”
“But why not? I believe in equal opportunity dating.”
“You’re not buying the drinks or the donuts.” He glares at me again, then pulls out his Black American Express card and hands it to Jackson. “This is on me. Let me treat you.”
“I don’t want you to think that I’m a gold digger.”
“It’s $16.00, Ava.” He bursts out laughing. “I would expect a gold digger to want me to buy something that costs more than $16.00.”
“Maybe I’m playing the long game,” I say, grinning at him. “Maybe I want to get millions and millions from you.”
“Are you?” he says softly as we wait for Jackson to run his card.
“Am I what?”
“Are you trying to play the long game?” His eyes narrow as he looks at my lips.
I lick my lips in nervous anticipation. I think he’s going to kiss me, and I want him to kiss me.
“Of course not,” I say, glaring at him. “I would never do such a thing.”
“I know you wouldn’t. You’re as pure and innocent as the snow is white.”
“I’m not that pure and innocent. I mean, you should know that.”
“I think I do,” he says as he leans his lips toward my ear. “The way you were sucking on my cock the other night showed me that you’re not that naïve.”
“Oh my gosh, Theo!” I hit him in the shoulder, and he just laughs.
“Would you like to leave a tip, sir?” Jackson asks, handing him a screen.
I watch as Theo leaves a ten-dollar tip and then takes his card back.
“Wow. Thank you, mista.”
“It’s okay,” Theo says quickly, taking his card and giving Jackson a look. “Have a great day.”
Theo grabs me by the elbow and leads me to the side of the coffee shop.
“What was that about?” I ask him, puzzled.
“Oh, I didn’t want him to thank me too much. It was only ten dollars. Not like it was a hundred or a thousand.”
“Oh, yeah. I guess. That was really generous of you, though. Really, really nice. That’s a huge tip to give for sixteen dollars.”
“I know there is a lot of work that goes into working in coffee shops and in retail, and I like to do my part.” He stares at me.
“If you are in need of any advice…”
“Advice about what?”
“I don’t know. Business-related stuff,” he says. “I mean, I probably shouldn’t be offering to give you advice, but what the heck.”
“Why shouldn’t you be offering to give me advice?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “Maybe you wouldn’t want to take it. Or maybe… I don’t know. Anyway, ignore me.”
“You’re funny when you’re cryptic, you know that, right?”
“You think I’m cryptic?”
“Yeah, I do.” I grin. “So… do you have a lot of friends back in New York?” I change the subject.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, do you have a lot of friends? Like a group of guys—or guys and girls—that you hang out with every weekend?”
“I mean, I have some business acquaintances. I wouldn’t say I have friends like you have in Arabella and Aria.”
“Oh, that’s sad.”
“I mean, it’s fine. I’ve never really had good friends like that. Like I say, my focus has always been on education and then business.”
“That sounds really lonely,” I say, staring at him.
He looks back at me for a few moments and nods slightly. “I guess it was just my life. I didn’t think about anything else. I never cared.”
“There’s more to life than money. I mean, sure, I need money to keep my bookstore open, and I need money to pay my rent and to eat and to live. But I would still take experiences and friends and love over all the money in the world.”
“Would you take love over your bookstore?” he asks.
I stare at him for a couple of seconds, then nod slowly. “If I had to choose between finding my true love and keeping my bookstore, I would choose love every single time.
“What about you?”
“What would I choose? Your bookstore or love?”
“No. Would you choose money or love? Because you seem to love money as much as I love my bookstore.”
“Interesting question,” he says. “Honestly, I don’t want to lie to you, and I don’t know how I would answer that.”
“I think that your brain wants you to choose money because that’s what you know. But I think there’s something inside of you that wants to see what it would be like to go down the path of love.”
I reach up and touch his heart. I can feel it beating rapidly, and I look into his eyes.
“I know, Theo. When I look at you, I don’t see money. I don’t see your bank account balance, which I don’t know anyway. I don’t even see a man with a big cock that knows how to satisfy me for hours.” His lips twist into a smile. “I see a man who has grown up one way, yet is in the process of breaking down those walls. And it’s okay if they haven’t come down yet. One day, they will.”
“I want to say something, Ava.”
“Yes?” My heart is racing. For a few moments, I think he’s going to declare his love for me. And while I know it’s too soon, I absolutely want to hear it. I want him to tell me that he’s fallen in love with me, because I believe I’ve fallen in love with him, which is crazy and irrational, but that’s just who I am.
“You see me in a way that no one has before in my life. You make me feel seen and heard. You make me feel—” He shakes his head. “It’s hard to explain, but you make me feel like I’m more than just a number. Like I’m more than just a human being that exists for a single purpose. I feel like I’m really, finally experiencing life on a different level, on a different plane. And I don’t know if that makes me airy-fairy, or if it’s this town, or what’s going on. But I just wanted you to know that I feel seen by you. And to be honest, you’re the only person that’s ever made me feel that way.”
