To Fall Or Not To Fall, page 10
Chapter Eleven
Ava
I lie back on the couch, and all I can think of is Theo's face, his lips, his touch. My face goes bright red with heat. I feel wanton. Sexy. Sensual. I might be losing my mind.
“Why are you looking like such an idiot?” Arabella says as she walks into the living room, a tub of vanilla ice cream in her hand. “You really look like the cat that just got the cookie. But I’ve got the ice cream. So why are you looking so happy?”
“No reason,” I say, turning my eyes away from her. I don’t want her to know what happened. Maybe because I’m slightly embarrassed. Maybe because it’s completely out of character for me to just make out with some random dude. I don’t even know how I feel about it myself.
“Hey, Aria, come in here!” Arabella shouts.
“What’s going on?” I say, sitting up.
“That’s what I want to know,” Arabella says as she takes a seat. “Aria, come!” she calls out.
Aria comes running out of her bedroom, her hair wet and a towel around her shoulders.
“What’s going on?” She glares at Arabella. “You’re not finishing the ice cream, are you?”
“It’s just the vanilla. Don’t worry. I haven’t touched your Ben & Jerry’s.”
“Good. Because I was about to pig out as soon as I finished blow-drying my hair.”
“Guys, I’m trying to relax here on the couch. If you want to talk about ice cream, you can—”
“We’re not talking about ice cream,” Arabella says, folding her arms and looking at me. “I want to know what’s going on with you and Mr. Theodore.”
“Since when do we call him Mr. Theodore? And there’s nothing going on.”
Arabella looks over at Aria. Aria looks back at her, then at me.
“Girl, something happened. I know when we came out to look for you, you and Theo were looking guilty as hell. You hadn’t gone on the hayride, but your sweater looked like it was all crumpled. It was up around your waist,” Arabella says. “And Theo had traces of red lipstick on his lips.”
“What? No, he didn’t,” I say quickly. Then I stare at them with narrowed eyes. “Did he?
“Oh my gosh. Could everyone tell that we—”
“So it’s true!” Aria shrieks. “You guys kissed.”
“Okay. Maybe. But I was just trying to process it before I said anything to you guys.”
“Why wouldn’t you tell us?” Arabella looks sad. “We’re your best friends. We wouldn’t judge you.”
“I know you wouldn’t judge me. But it’s a bit more than just a kiss.”
“What?” Arabella shifts closer to me on the couch. Popsicle jumps up and rests her head on my lap.
“Guys, we did more than kiss,” I moan, and then I scream—not too loudly though.
“Oh my God. Did you have sex with him? Ava! Oh my gosh, tell me the truth.” Aria looks absolutely shocked. “I mean, I’m totally not going to judge you. Well, maybe a little bit, but only because I’m jealous. Was he good in bed?”
“It wasn’t even a bed,” Arabella says. “Did you guys have sex on the haystack? In the stables? Is that why Grumpy the mare was neighing?”
“Oh, shush. Guys, don’t be stupid. Of course, I didn’t sleep with him. I don’t even know him.”
“So? Plenty of people have sex with men and women they don’t know.”
“We didn’t have sex. Come on, you know me better than that.”
“Yeah, and we know that you’ve been horny for ages.”
“No, I have not.”
“Yes, you have. You’ve been looking for a man for—”
“I’ve been looking to save my store, which is what I’m trying to concentrate on right now. I’ll have you know that I’m not making enough money and—”
“We don’t want to hear about the store right now, Ava.” Arabella shakes her head. “We can figure that out later. Right now, we want to hear about Theo Wilder.”
I close my eyes and rub my forehead. “Look, he’s a tourist. He’s just being polite and friendly, and I’m just showing him the Coconut Beach hospitality.”
I hear Aria snorting, and my eyes open.
“What?”
“You were just showing him the Coconut Beach hospitality by making out with him?”
“We weren’t making out. I mean, did we kiss? Yes. Did my sweater come off? Maybe. Did he pull my bra straps down? Maybe. And did his lips possibly meet my nipple? Perhaps.”
“Oh my gosh!” Aria shrieks, and I can see Arabella’s mouth open.
“Did you guys have oral sex? Did he literally eat you out in the—”
“No, he did not. My bra straps were down for two minutes max. We were kind of teasing each other and bantering. And he may or may not have made a comment about my breasts. And I may or may not have teased him. And he may or may not have kissed me. And then I may have regained consciousness and pushed him away and quickly pulled up my bra and put on my sweater.” I laugh.
“But was it hot?”
“Yes. And do I regret it? No. And can I get him off my mind? No. But he’s just a tourist, and I don’t even know when he’s going back home. I feel stupid for liking this guy. And why do I like him? He is not always the nicest, and he’s super condescending to me about money.”
“I mean, you’re not the best with money,” Aria says.
I glare at her.
“I mean, you’re not the worst, obviously.”
“But it doesn’t matter. I just—what am I doing? I’m meant to be focusing on raising money and looking for a serious relationship. Someone who can take me to the fall festival.”
“He can take you,” Arabella says.
“He’s probably not even going to be in town. Plus, my grandma is not going to be super impressed if some random man from the city takes me to the fall festival and then goes back to where he’s from. What is she going to say to Maribel Laribel then? ‘Oh, well, my granddaughter also had a date, but he’s gone.’ That is not going to make her feel better. And honestly, that’s not going to help me win the war with Eloise.”
“The war with Eloise?” Arabella starts laughing. “Since when is it a war?”
“Since she told my grandma that she’s getting married in the Maldives and is going to go scuba diving for her anniversary—and invited her.”
“Eloise did not invite your grandma.”
“She did. She told my grandma to extend the invitation to me, and she assumed that my grandma would be my plus-one because I was chronically single.”
“She did not say that.” Aria raises an eyebrow. “Wow. What a bitch.”
“Exactly. I didn’t want to mention it earlier because I didn’t want to dampen the mood, but how dare you send me an invite to your wedding when we’re not friends? Not actually even invite me, and then tell my grandma she’s likely coming as my plus-one. She’s doing that just to make me feel bad.”
“She is totally trying to make you pay for one-upping her in high school by being more popular with the boys.”
“The thing is, I didn’t even one-up her. I was chronically single then. All the guys just wanted to be my friend.” I laugh slightly. “I wasn’t a hot cheerleader. None of them wanted to date me.”
“But everyone liked you, and you had us, and we were best friends. And who did she have?”
“She had the cheerleaders.” I remind her. “And they had the football, baseball, and soccer players all over them. We were in drama club and reading books every five minutes, like nerds.”
“Yeah, but they were all fake friends. The guys only wanted them for sex and to explore. They genuinely liked you.”
“I guess.”
“And do any of them even speak anymore?”
“I mean, they do speak. But I think they just try and one-up each other. And they sleep with each other’s boyfriends and husbands.” Arabella’s eyes twinkle. “That Chrissy Maxwell—remember her? She was dating Johnny, the quarterback.”
“How can we forget?” I say.
“Well, anyway, I heard that she slept with Brittany’s husband.”
“No. Not Brittany.”
“Yep. Brittany. Her cousin and her best friend. Chrissy slept with Brittany’s husband, and then she got pregnant. And she doesn’t know who the baby daddy is.”
“No way. But weren’t they just hanging out a couple of days ago at Larry’s bar?”
“Exactly. Pretending like they’re all nice and sweet, because that’s the image they like to put out to everyone. Because they’re the crème de la crème of Coconut Beach.” Arabella rolls her eyes. “But we know the truth.”
“I guess. I mean, that’s not going to help me with my situation right now.”
“What do you want?” Aria asks me.
“What do you mean, what do I want?”
“Do you want to have fun?”
“I mean, of course, I want to have fun.”
“Or do you want to find the love of your life?”
“Why can’t I have fun and find the love of my life?”
Aria lets out a deep sigh. “I mean, I hate to say it because Theo is cute, but he is a big-city man. Shit, the first time we saw him, he was in a suit. He’s gorgeous, and he looks like he has money. I noticed he was wearing a Rolex, and his Italian leather shoes looked like they cost thousands of dollars. But big-city men like Theo don’t stick around small towns like Coconut Beach. And they certainly don’t end up with small-town girls who own quaint little bookstores.”
“Thanks, Aria.”
“I’m not trying to be mean. But I can see you really falling for him. When I thought it was going to be an innocent flirtation, I was all for it. But now, he’s kissing you in barns and taking off your clothes and, well, I just want to make sure you know what you’re getting into.”
“He’s probably not relationship material, and he lives in New York. I know that. You don’t have to remind me.”
“Just be careful. If you want to just have some fun and see what it’s like to be with a big-city man for the next week or whatever, go ahead with it. But if you’re looking to find the guy who wrote you that love letter, who wants to spend the rest of his life with you—”
“We don’t know that whoever wrote that love letter wants to spend the rest of their life with me.”
“I think we might kind of have an idea. Why else would he have written it?”
“I guess. But it’s not like they’ve come forward.”
“Yeah, maybe not. But what I’m saying is, you can either go for your short-term temptation with Theo…”
Theo’s face flashes into my mind, and I blush.
“I mean, that’s the sort of temptation that I like. I can’t lie.”
Aria laughs and just shakes her head. “Or you can really think about just searching for the one. Remember what I told you?”
“What did you tell me?”
“I told you that the love of your life doesn’t necessarily have to be the man you find most attractive.”
“But I have to find him somewhat attractive,” I say, staring at her.
“Yeah, but that’s not—come on now.”
“I know what you’re saying. But if I don’t find them attractive whatsoever, it’s not going to happen. Look, I am not naïve. I know that Theo is not my happily ever after. I know he’s not going to go with me to the fall festival. He’s not going to come to Sunday dinners and impress my grandma. And he’s not going to go to the Christmas bash in the town square, or to the lighting of the tree so I can show him off to Maribel Laribel.
“He’s not going to come to our high school reunion so that I can show Eloise that I got a more handsome man than her. But… there’s something about him that just intrigues me. He’s got such gorgeous eyes. And the way he smiles makes me feel like a million bucks. And I can’t lie. He has a body to die for. And when he touches me, I just feel like I’m on fire. Like I’m the only woman in the world. When he looks at me, I feel special. I feel seen. And I don’t know… there’s just something about him that draws me into him like a moth to a flame. He makes me feel like a private investigator wanting to understand every facet of his personality. Which is really kind of ridiculous.
“There’s something about him that makes me think of the world as a larger space than just Coconut Beach.”
“But you love Coconut Beach,” Aria says.
“You say you never want to leave,” Arabella continues.
“I love it here,” I say, cutting her off. “We’ve grown up in the best little town in America. But that doesn’t mean there’s not a big, wide world out there. That doesn’t mean that someone like Theo can’t come along and sweep me off my feet and make me think of other places.
“It doesn’t mean that I want to leave. It just means that, hey, if he wants to take me on a weekend getaway to Italy to fuck me senseless, I’m not going to say no.”
“Oh my. You are totally falling for him,” Arabella says. She lets out a light sigh. “So if he called you tonight and he was like, ‘I want to take you to Venice next week and sweep you off your feet,’ would you go?”
“Well, I don’t know that I’d go next week,” I say, grinning. “Next week is the Cozy Coastal Bonfire Bash, and I’ve got to get ghost stories prepared, and s’mores, and sparklers, and hook up the singles of this town so that I can save the bookstore.”
I rub my forehead again. I can feel a headache coming on.
“But I don’t know if I’m going to do it, girls. So far, the matchmaking events are going well, but I’m not really making that much money. I’m not finding that people are really buying more books. I feel like—”
“Don’t say it.” Aria comes and sits on my left side and grabs my hand.
“I’m just really nervous.” I take a deep breath.
Arabella sits on my other side and grabs my other hand. “It’s going to be okay.”
“What if it’s not? I haven’t wanted to scare you guys with how bad it is, but I’m running out of money. If I don’t figure out a way to raise a lot of money soon, I’m going to lose the store.”
“Have you thought about selling it before it comes to that?”
I shake my head. “I’m never going to sell out to a corporate bigwig. The last thing this town needs is some big, ugly, modern hotel. We don’t want to become another commercialized city that will take away everything we love. I can’t do that. I won’t do that.”
“But if you lose the store, who’s to say they won’t buy it anyway?”
I stare at my two friends and shrug. “I guess I’m just hoping for a miracle to happen.”
“We’ll think of something. We have to,” Aria says, nodding slowly. “We won’t let you lose the store. You love it. I love it. The town loves it.”
“I wish they loved it enough to spend their money there. Or at least more money. The matchmaking events… they’re just not going to cut it.”
“I have an idea,” Arabella says, jumping up. “I need to think about it, but I have an idea. Maybe something that will help.”
“What is it?” I ask.
“I don’t want to get your hopes up yet,” she says. “But let me see what I can do.” She grins at me. “It’s going to be okay.”
“I hope so.”
“It will be. And you know what? Why don’t you give your Theo a call?”
“He’s not my Theo.”
“Anyway, call him. Maybe have phone sex or something. Let out some of that anxiety.”
“What? Don’t say that. I’m not going to do that.”
“I’m just saying. They say when you’re feeling stressed out, good sex always helps.”
“I’m not going to sleep with a man I know is leaving town.”
“Who says you have to sleep with him?” she says. “You can just bounce around.”
“Oh my gosh. What?”
“Or at least let him go down on you. That’s just as good.”
“I’m not going to let him do that,” I say, laughing loudly. “I mean—not that he’s even offered.”
“If he offered, would you say yes?”
“Maybe,” I admit. “I mean, not that I’m going to ask him that.”
“Of course, of course,” they say, laughing. “But who knows? Maybe he’ll ask you.”
“Girls, shall we watch a movie?”
“Yeah, let’s do it,” Aria says. “Because if we continue talking about oral sex, I might have to go out there and find a man myself. Because it’s been a while for me, too.”
“It’s been a while for all of us. But you know what’s great?” I look at them, suddenly feeling lighthearted.
“What?” they say in unison.
I beam at them. “I have you two, my best friends. And we live together. And we truly get along. And I love you. And you know what? Even if I never have the man of my dreams, I’ll always be grateful that I have you both. And hey—vibrators and dildos were made for a reason.”
They look at me and burst out laughing. I laugh with them.
I sit back as Arabella grabs the remote and turns on the TV. I watch her scroll to a movie, and we watch it in companionable silence.
I am 100 percent sticking by what I say. I’m so grateful to have them as my best friends. But I can’t stop thinking about Theo and what he’s doing. And if he’s thinking about me. Maybe I’ll go against every instinct I have and just let myself have fun with him. Because what is the point of life if you’re not living it and just letting go? Sometimes you can’t think about the future. Sometimes you just have to think about today.
Chapter Twelve
Theo
I haven’t seen Ava in a week, and I feel like a bit of a schmuck, especially considering what went down the last time I’d seen her. I haven’t even been to the bookstore, though Jenna’s been twice. And Jenna told me that both times, Ava looked up and asked her if I was going to be coming in.
I felt guilty, but not as guilty as I would’ve felt if something more substantial had happened between us.
“Hey, boss,” Jenna says as she walks into the conference room in the hotel. She looks like a tourist in her white hoodie and blue jeans, and I can tell from her golden tan and glow, she’s been enjoying pool time.
