I get up and make myself busy cutting up tomatoes, lettuce, and onions. We’re making tacos, which are quick and easy, but also goes a long way to feeding a bunch of hungry bikers. At least if I’m busy, I’m not worrying about Reid and what’s happening.

  “They’re going to be fine,” Mackenzie assures me quietly, handing me a few bowls to place my cut veggies in. “They know what they’re doing.”

  I think for me, it’s the not knowing that’s the most bothersome. I don’t know their plan. Don’t know what kind of trap they were planning, even though I know they had to have been walking into one if Tonto was using Mico to get them there. He’s only a kid and already being pulled into a dangerous life.

  “They’re back!” Harper says.

  The roar of the bikes vibrates the floor, and then there’s silence once they kill their engines. The door pushes open, and Lucien walks in first. He’s wearing a grin on his face, so I assume things went well.

  Harper rushes over to him and jumps into his arms, kissing him fiercely. “You’re filthy!” she says, breaking the kiss.

  He’s covered in smut, and now that she’s kissed him, she has it on her face. The rest of the guys come in, all looking the same. Dirty and grimy. When I see Reid, I hold myself back from reacting the way Harper did, but I do go over to him.

  “You’re safe,” I whisper as I wrap my arms around his neck, smelling the scent of smoke on his hair.

  “We got him, Phoenix. We got Tonto.”

  I close my eyes and relax in his arms. Two of my captors are dead. I can live with that. I can live with the governor walking free. I know the Sinners won’t allow him to take any other girls.

  “Food’s ready!” Mackenzie calls out.

  The women begin to fix plates and passing them out. Everyone starts digging in despite how dirty they are. I guess food comes before showering. Reid takes a seat on the sofa and calls me over. I carry a plate to him and start to sit beside him, but he pulls me onto his lap.

  “You belong right here.”

  “Mico?”

  “He’s fine.”

  I don’t ask anything else, unsure what he’s willing to tell me and not wanting to be told that he can’t answer me. The little boy is all right, Tonto is dead, and that’s all that is important to me.

  We sit like this, me in his lap, feeding each other tacos until he tells me he’s going to go shower. I slowly get up and start helping the others clean up the kitchen.

  Every part of this feels normal, feels like I’m where I’m supposed to be. I wonder for a moment if I hadn’t been taken, would I have found my way here?

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Reid

  I press my hands to the shower wall and let the hot water spray down my back. Things went as planned tonight. No innocent lives were lost. Mico and his brother are safe. Tonto is dead.

  An explosion isn’t exactly the death sentence I would’ve carried out on him. I wanted to prolong his death, make him suffer for what he did to Phoenix. Take my time enacting his punishment.

  But we’ve been looking for him for months, and this was the first lead. It was almost too easy. The governor gives him up, Mico sets us up, and we were supposed to walk in and be gunned down. My gut tells me that things like that don’t happen so easily. Why couldn’t we find him before? Why now?

  We rigged the duffel bag with a bomb, courtesy of Fletcher. Who knew the cocksucker was capable of actually contributing something to the club besides a mixed drink?

  Harco took care of the logistics, and we blew it the moment Mico and his brother were safe. Of course, we didn’t trust that the bomb did the job. That’s the reason I need the shower now.

  The bomb didn’t demolish the building. The bomb was meant to kill those in its close vicinity, not blow them to pieces, though. We searched the entire fucking building, made sure no one got out alive. And we ID’d Tonto. I had to know for sure. Had to confirm it was him.

  Over half of his body was burned, but his hands were recognizable. Those tattoos of his confirmed it was him. No one else in the building had the same tattoos. He’s dead. Now, if only I could kill the governor, Phoenix will be avenged.

  Pissed, knowing that I can’t carry out that deed, I turn the water off and step out of the shower, wrapping a towel around my waist. Water from my hair drips down onto my chest as I open the door.

  Phoenix is in my room, on her knees, head down. It’s the same stance she took when I saw her at the governor’s mansion. I drop the towel to the floor and walk over to her, running my finger over her jawline and tilting her head up to me.

  “I told you before; you don’t have to kneel to me.”

  She gazes up, her blue eyes pools of desire, and licks her lips. I trace my thumb over her lips, and she sucks it into her mouth, running her thumb over the pad of it before releasing it with a pop.

  “I want to,” she replies.

  I walk around her, my dick practically eye-level with her. She licks her lips again, and it jumps. She sucks dick like a damn pro, and I don’t want to think of why she knows what she’s doing. I only want to think about the fact that mine is going to be the last one she wraps her lips around. The last one to slam inside her pussy.

  “Why?” I ask, walking over to my dresser and grabbing my phone.

  Phoenix eyes me as I turn it on, and I see the moment the fear takes her. She was recorded before. When that fucker Suggs raped her, he filmed every sadistic second of it.

  This will be different. I need her to know that. I’ve never felt the need to record myself when I fuck. Never wanted to capture the moment. But I want to capture this one. I want to be able to watch it over and over again. And I want to replace that horrible fucking memory she has.

  “Why, Phoenix? Why do you want to kneel to me?”

  “Because you killed Tonto,” she answers, despite her fear. I’m so fucking proud of her. “You deserve a reward.”

  I step back in front of her, my phone aimed down at her face so that she absolutely knows I’m recording us. I wait for her to protest. For her to tell me to stop, but she doesn’t say anything. She understands what I’m doing. Why I’m doing this.

  “Show me.”

  Instantly her hands go to my thighs, and her mouth closes over my dick. She takes me in deep, letting my head hit the back of her throat. Her soft humming as she blows me nearly makes me come in less than two minutes. Her nails dig into my flesh, her head bobbing faster and faster. She’s enjoying this as much as I am. Okay, probably not quite as much.

  Before I come in her mouth, I ease her back. Her lips are swollen, cheeks flushed. She’s the most beautiful fucking thing I have ever laid my eyes on. And I have the way she looks right now saved.

  I hold my free hand out, and she takes it, letting me help her up. I slip my hand between her legs, stroking her wet pussy lips.

  “I haven’t tasted you yet, Phoenix.”

  I don’t know how that’s possible, but I have yet to devour her sweet pussy. Yet to lick her from hole to hole and hear her scream my name from my tongue-fucking.

  “Do you want me to lick your pussy?”

  She bites her bottom lip and nods her head, her gaze ever so often going to the phone I’m holding. I push a finger inside her.

  “Do you want to come on my face?”

  She nods her head frantically, gripping my shoulders as she rocks into me. I ease a second finger in and pump them in and out together. I want to hear her say it. Want to hear her ask for it. Fuck, I need to hear it.

  “Have you been a good girl?”

  “Yes,” she cries out. “Yes!”

  I remove my fingers, and she crawls onto my bed. She lets her legs fall apart, her pussy glistening, and I have the camera taking it all in.

  The sinner inside me is filled with delight when she smiles at the camera and says, “My turn.”

  Phoenix

  I am probably crazy for doing this ― for allowing Reid to do this ― because I’ve heard the horror stories of sex tapes getting leaked to the internet and the entire world viewing your private moment of intimacy. But I trust him. Without a shadow of a doubt, I trust that he would never let that happen.

  So, I take the phone from him as he lowers himself between my legs. His eyes are on me as his tongue snakes out and licks between my folds. I nearly drop the damn phone; it feels so good. This recording will be a shaky one, that’s for sure.

  I grip his hair, making it a tangled mess as he eats my pussy. His teeth graze over my sensitive bud, his tongue delving in and out of me. My back arches off the bed, and I’m unsure what I’m even capturing on the video because my eyes have rolled into the back of my head in sheer ecstasy.

  “Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! I’m coming!” I scream, bucking against his mouth.

  Reid greedily laps up my juices, growling in the back of his throat. My arm falls to the bed, the phone with it. A light sheen of sweat covers my body, and I’m breathing heavily, completely content while at the same time craving more.

  He sits back on his heels and grips my hips, sliding me down to him and positioning my legs over his shoulders. He leans over to grab the phone, and I watch as he aims it down, filming us as he pushes his cock inside me.

  “Fucking incredible,” he murmurs. “So wet, so fucking tight.”

  “And yours.”

  There goes that growl again. My damn nipples respond to it, hardening even more, and my pussy clamps down on him.

  “You’re damn right it is. No one else, Phoenix. Not ever.”

  He fucks me hard; our flesh connecting makes this sweet slapping noise, his balls hitting my ass cheeks. I dig my fingers into the sheets, grasping them and wrinkling them up.

  “Never,” I reply. “I promise.”

  He tosses the phone onto the bed and lowers my legs down, climbing over me. He pins my arms above my head and drives into me, bottoming out. I cry out, the thin line between pleasure and pain blurring.

  Water droplets from his hair drip onto my cheek, and I reach up and cup his face, watching him. His brow is furrowed, lips parted, eyes closed in concentration.

  “I love you.”

  His eyes fly open, the shock of my three words evident. I don’t expect a response. I know he won’t say them back. Instead, he kisses me, his lips damn near bruising mine. My orgasm builds again, and I tear my lips from his, sucking in a deep breath as it hits me.

  “Yes! Reid! Yes!”

  Reid has always pulled out, come on my stomach or back, never inside me, but this time, he stays buried deep, his hot seed coating my insides. I know I have nothing to worry about, the birth control still implanted in my arm, but he doesn’t know that.

  He pulls out and lies behind me, pulling me back against him. His heart pounds hard in his chest, so hard I can feel it against my back. His cum leaks out of me and onto my legs. I should shower, but I don’t want to ruin this moment. Don’t want to leave his arms.

  I told Reid I loved him, and he’s still here. He’s holding me and didn’t kick me out of his room the second we were finished. I pray that means something. I can’t bear to lose him.

  He pulls the cover over us and gently kisses my shoulder. I relax against him, the steadiness of his breathing relaxing. It isn’t long before my eyes feel heavy. The hell with the shower.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Reid

  When I wake up, it’s nearly three in the morning. The spot where Phoenix was sleeping is cold and I can hear my shower running. There’s a damn wet spot on my bed, and I’m lying in it. Fuck, I nutted inside her. With a groan, I stretch and run my fingers through my hair before getting up and heading to the bathroom.

  I can hear her softly sobbing when I open the door. I pull back the curtain and step in behind her. Her body is pressed against the wall, her hands covering her face as she cries.

  I place my hands at her hips and kiss her shoulder, letting her know I’m here. She relaxes against me but doesn’t stop crying.

  I was a fucking idiot for filming us. Sure, she was into it during the act, but I can’t imagine what she’s thinking now. On top of that, I nutted inside her and came so close, so very fucking close to telling her I love her.

  What the fuck was I thinking? Love? I don’t think I’m even capable of that shit. But damn it, whatever it is I feel for her, it has to be close to it. Has to resemble it in some way. There’s no other explanation for it.

  She is on a level with my brothers. I would seek out vengeance for her. I would kill for her. I will fucking die for her.

  “I’m sorry,” I say, kissing her shoulder again. “I fucked up.”

  She shakes her head, wiping her eyes. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “I shouldn’t have ―”

  “You didn’t do anything wrong, Reid,” she says, turning to face me. “Everything was perfect. You’re perfect. I had another nightmare. You make them better, though, okay?”

  I nod. “Tell me about your nightmare.”

  She shakes her head, looking down. “I don’t want to relive it again.”

  I tilt her head up to mine, knowing that a part of me doesn’t want to hear what happened to her. Doesn’t want to know what haunts her dreams. I saw some of what was done to her, but that was only a part of her horrors.

  “When I pledged to this club, our previous president was my sponsor. He knew a little bit about my past, my history, but I didn’t tell him everything,” I say. “That church I go to, well, I grew up there. Not there, but the orphanage it runs.”

  “Reid...” she says softly, her voice trailing off and letting me know that I don’t have to continue if I don’t want to.

  “I shared a room with five other boys. I was ten years old the first time one of the clergy came into our room after it was lights out. I watched him slip into one of my friend’s beds, thinking we were all asleep. I knew it was only a matter of nights before he would slip into my own.”

  Phoenix wraps her arms around my waist, resting her head against my chest and hugging me as I talk, telling her a story I have never told another soul.

  “Night after night, I watched him. He spent three nights in the same bed before moving onto the next. I was a ten-year-old kid with no family, no fucking money, and nowhere to go. But I left. I left the only home I had ever known, and I never told a soul what I saw. I slept on park benches, ate food out of garbage cans, and stole whatever I could to survive. I was an outcast at school because I stunk to high heaven, and my clothes were stained, but that was the only place I got a decent meal. I lived like that for years, Phoenix. And it blackened my soul. Turned me into who I am today.”

  “You didn’t have a choice.”

  “I used to lie to myself and say that all the time. That I didn’t have a choice when I killed that man for his shoes. And I didn’t have a choice when I slit the woman’s throat for her purse. I have always had a choice.”

  “You’re not like that anymore.”

  I wanted to tell her this to make her feel better. To get her to open up to me about her nightmare. But I realize I’m telling her this so that she fully knows what she’s getting into. That she knows who and what I am.

  “I went back to the church when I was sixteen. I found the clergy who was raping those boys, and I made sure he was never able to hurt another kid again. I haven’t changed, Phoenix. I need you to know that. I need you to see me for who I really am.”

  Phoenix

  When I woke up, I had that same moment of panic I always do. That same fear that I’m back at the governor’s mansion and that no one is going to save me. Then, I felt Reid’s arm around my waist, his steady breathing at my neck. I knew, without a doubt, that he would save me. That he has saved me.

  I stood in his shower crying because I’ve been given a second chance, and I’m wasting it. I’m spinning my wheels. Yes, I have Reid, and I couldn’t be happier about that, but I’m still acting like a coward. I’m still hiding out, afraid to face the world.

  Reid wasn’t afraid. He was a little boy, and he survived. Then, he came back and did something to right a horrible wrong. What am I doing? Nothing.

  “I do see you, Reid,” I say. “I see someone who never stopped looking for me. Someone who fought to find me. Someone who has kept his promise to me.”

  “I haven’t, though. I can’t touch the fucking governor.”

  “I see a man with loyalty to his family. A man who hasn’t hidden himself away from me.”

  “Is that what you’re doing now? Hiding from me?”

  “I’m shielding you from things you don’t want to know.”

  He lets out a sarcastic laugh. “And you wanted to know those things I told you? Cause there’s a shitload more I could tell you.”

  “I was back there again. They’re always the same. Somehow, I’m back there and no one is coming to save me, and they’re all there. All of them.”

  “That is never going to happen again. Suggs and Tonto are dead. The governor is not going to touch you.”

  I want to tell him they aren’t the only ones in my dreams. There’s one more. Donovan is always there. He haunts me the most.

  “I know. I know I’m safe and can move on. I know I shouldn’t be afraid anymore. I wish I was brave, but I’m not.”

  He presses his forehead to mine. “You are the most courageous person I know. When I saw you running across that lawn, I thought, fuck me. Then, you got on my bike, and from that moment, you were mine.”

  “That wasn’t bravery at all; that was fear.”

  “We have two very different ideas on what that word means.”

  “And I’m still acting like a coward. I’m either hiding here or at Mackenzie’s house. I’m afraid to be out in public, although I know I’m safe. I haven’t registered to go back to finish school. I haven’t looked for a job. I haven’t done anything. But you, you fought tooth and nail to live, and you went back to face your demons. You still go back.”

  “I go back because I have issues.”

 

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