Heart of Midnight, page 1
Heart of Shattered Glass
J. Darlene Everly
Copyright © 2022 by J. Darlene Everly
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This is a work of fiction, any similarities to people living or dead, places, or actual events is purely coincidental.
Copyright © 2022 J. Darlene Everly
All rights reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced or used in any way without the prior written consent of the copyright holder, besides brief quotations for a review.
To request use of the copyrighted material, please contact the author at jdarleneeverly.com
Hardcover: ISBN 978-1-954719-27-9
Paperback: ISBN 978-1-954719-26-2
Ebook: ISBN 978-1-954719-25-5
First paperback edition January 2022.
Edited by Jupiter Alley.
Cover art by Miblart.
Layout by Wishing Well Books.
For the ones who think they have to save everyone, save yourself first
Contents
Introduction
1. Now
2. Ready
3. Fragile
4. The Time
5. Remember
6. Returns and Reasons
7. Barbed
8. Decide
9. Toasts
10. Wrong
11. Good Surprises
12. Throw Things
13. Her
14. Change
15. Wrong Dress
16. Wrong Woman
17. Sharp Edge
18. Failure
19. All New
20. Ladies In Training
21. Death Count
22. Private Space
23. Shine
24. For Now
25. Communications
26. Name Change
27. Focus
28. Dizzy
29. Empty
30. Venom
31. Promises
32. All of Them
33. Legend
34. High
35. Tonight
36. So This Is
37. Not Winning
38. Fighter
39. Beginning
40. Taking Turns
41. Best of Intentions
42. Real
43. Lost
44. Claim
45. Away
46. Tell Ourselves
47. Need
48. Center
49. Last Place
50. Face of Death
51. Maybe
52. Hostage
53. Shattered
54. Kill at Ease
55. Target
56. Price
57. Dream Before Death
58. Crash
59. Leave Me
60. Black of Midnight
Afterword
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Introduction
Heart of Shattered Glass is just the second book of the Cinders in Midnight Glass series, the first book, Heart of Cinders is out now. And the third book, Heart of Midnight is coming soon! If you would like to be the first to hear about the next book in the series titled Heart of Midnight, get an exclusive prequel to this story and more free books, as well as see what else the author has written, please go to jdarleneeverly.com and sign up for her newsletter.
Chapter 1
Now
“I must implore my councilors, for the safety of all involved, to end the hunt for a potential queen, and send all the participants home.”
All? Did he mean me? I wanted him to send me home all this time. Now that I no longer wanted to go, was he actually doing it?
Jacquetta grabbed my hand on one side, a strange high-pitched sound coming from her.
Gus grabbed my other hand and squeezed. A little bounce made me pull my gaze from Tristan. She was smiling.
None of the other potentials had smiles on their faces. They looked crestfallen or downright hostile.
My Ladies in Waiting thought this was some big announcement of a proposal, but Tristan wouldn’t ask anyone to marry him in front of the whole palace, let alone in front of some who may be hurt by it.
But…
I swallowed, far from feeling like I should smile as he looked out on the crowd, and waited for everyone to focus again.
A chill rode by on the wind, making me regret this dress again.
“This idea to find a queen was not a flippant one. I want to assure you all that it has been an honor to have you here, but I cannot in good conscience put you all at further risk.” He turned without looking at me, and walked back into the palace with a stiff spine.
“What?” Gus whispered, all the joy disappearing from her face.
“He’s not proposing?” Jacquetta mumbled, like she was as lost as I was.
Chamberlain Rezan, followed by a herd of other advisors, hustled after Tristan, calling his name.
General Pace sighed and turned to me, “Stay. Don’t leave yet. I’ll get him to change his mind.”
She climbed the stairs after all of them, and I was left to pretend I was fine. That the smug looks on the faces of some of the other Ladies in Waiting—as if him calling it all off was some kind of personal failure on my part—didn’t leave me even more confused.
And as if some part of me that I didn’t understand wasn’t in agony.
I shoved all of it away, and pulled Jacquetta and Gus forward toward our apartment.
“Let’s go pack. We need to be ready to go. I’ll take you both back to Madam’s, and then I’ll have to order a carriage to take me home.”
They shook their heads, but didn’t argue. Nor did they try to stall and keep us in the courtyard. For which I was grateful.
At the top of the stairs leading to the royal wing, a gaggle of advisors were yelling and gesturing. I didn’t want to be Tristan at the center of all their ire, but it let me breathe a little easier that their volume and wild hand waving rendered it impossible to see him or hear his voice.
I wanted to be sent home. I did. It was all I wanted for so much of the time I was here, but now…
Shaking my head, I focused on what I had to do next.
First, pack. Then, go to Madam’s.
Beyond that…
Going home—the thought of it, as much as I usually wanted to, now made all the past aches, pains, bruises, and breaks flare so intensely in my mind that I missed a step.
Ash would be furious.
The other potentials seemed to think their sneers were some kind of condemnation of me and my failings that led to this. But none of them knew what condemning failure really looked like.
Opening the door to our suite of rooms sent a pang through my heart.
How was it that this space—this apartment of oversized rooms in the home of the King I was supposed to kill and hated for seven years—somehow made its way into my heart? It was stamped there alongside Gus’s laugh, Jacquetta’s smile, and heat on my cheek as I slept.
Jacquetta and Gus looked at me, then at each other, and went toward their rooms while I went into mine, shutting the door behind me.
My beautiful, gem-encrusted dress was like wearing a joke now. The dragon down my back was pushing me out, and the flames on the bottom the color of hellfire water were an ominous warning about returning to Lehar ground.
But I didn’t bother to try and take it off on my own. Somehow, I had to try and resell the dresses made for me. I didn’t have reason for them as Ash’s sword arm, and my people could always use the money.
Mostly, though, I didn’t want to try to do too much while still in the palace. It was already more than I was ready to process.
I dragged in a shuddering breath as I started to pack the trunks with my discarded nightgown and other random things scattered through the room.
Worrying about what Ash would do to me was stupid. This whole thing was an exercise in the ridiculous and a waste of resources. I needed to think about my people. They needed the money far more than my wardrobe did. And they needed me to think about them.
So, no matter how hard it would be, or what kind of danger it would put me in, I was going home.
All I had to do was talk my brother into accepting Tristan as King for the good of the people of Lehar and the good of Onyx itself.
Yeah. That was all.
No matter how improbable success was, if another war was coming—this time with Corvid and their very real magic—he needed to ready Lehar. And we needed to support Tristan.
Mom and Dad were right about that.
Tears, ones I wasn’t expecting and couldn’t deal with, dripped off my chin and onto my mother’s shoes as I put them back in the trunk.
I swiped them away, and took a moment, eyes shut, to banish all threat of more before I opened my bedroom door again.
Gus and Jacquetta were already in their cloaks, and quietly directing servants to their trunks.
“You’re fast,” I said, biting my lip, and begging them silently not to talk about what just happened, to just focus on the work for now.
“Well, there’s no reason to delay.” Gus smiled and followed them into one of the other bedrooms.
“And Mom’s is just across the bridge.” Jacquetta patted me on the arm, and went into my room, leaving me alone in the parlor with nothing t
After so many years of doing everything myself, I almost laughed at the thought that these women so often left me with nothing to do.
But, soon enough, I had to leave them behind, too.
I went to the window, watching as guards went about their duties, a stable boy led a horse through the courtyard, and a regular-sized bird flew overhead.
Looking at it all now, no one would see the blood-soaked cobblestones of only days before.
Going home could help stop that from ever happening again. That made it worth it. Even if…well...I didn’t want to think about the ‘if.’
As I watched, one hand to the cold pane of glass, Tristan stormed out of the front doors and down the steps, his advisors at his heels.
Chapter 2
Ready
My breath caught in my throat, and my hands balled into fists.
He was still in heated discussion with his advisors. With every second that they pursued him and he resisted, it became clearer and clearer to me that this was more than just his concern about the coming war.
Tristan really did want us all gone from the palace. He really did want me gone.
I should have known. I did know, really.
Sword arms and weapons were tools, not friends.
And I was a weapon.
“Cinder,” Jacquetta said behind me, “one of the guards is getting someone to bring a carriage around for us.”
“Good,” I said over my shoulder, not tearing my eyes away from the gathering in the courtyard.
Jacquetta sighed and put a hand on my arm before she walked away.
The sounds of the room seemed far away, but it was clear our trunks and things were being carried out. I spent the entire time staring at Tristan as I hardened my heart to everyone.
My list of people to protect was intact, but I could do that from a personal distance. And that was best.
Finally, as a carriage rode in through the gate, Tristan shook his head and looked down at the ground. The gathered advisors slowly walked away, one by one.
When they were all gone, he looked up and turned toward my window.
I turned my back to the view as it no longer held anything for me, and found Gus and Jacquetta standing not far from me, my red cloak in Gus’s hands, their eyes on the floor, and their mouths in matching thin lines.
“Thank you,” I said, taking the cloak and putting it on. “Are we ready to go?”
“Yes, we’re just waiting on the carriage,” Gus said, her voice flat and not sounding like her at all.
“No need. It just pulled up.” I gestured toward the door, and followed them out, not looking back at the rooms we shared for a while.
Making our way through the hallways, there were still the guards posted at regular intervals, but they didn’t bow, and they didn’t salute. They nodded, one by one, as we passed.
Somehow, I had to find a way back to the woman who came to Madam’s house the first time. I had to put away the assassin who managed to be saluted by the guard. That was a different life now. One that didn’t really belong to me.
If war came, I was going to do what I knew how to do best.
Once upon a time, I wanted to be in charge of the guard in Lehar, to train all the people in it, and to lead them in battle.
Now, all I was going to do in this conflict was protect my friends, my brother, and the King. By striking each head off the snake, no matter how large or small, and no matter how many times it regrew.
Corvids had to come down from the sky to sleep sometime.
The best part of being so good at killing one person at a time as silently as possible: all I had to do was find the right people and do what I did best.
Simple.
And yet…
We walked out the front doors of the palace, the cold wind in the air stabbing against my cheeks. The wind brought winter with it. Even in the time since we were last outside, the world itself had grown colder.
At the top of another set of stairs, on the other side of the courtyard, the Chamberlain looked from me to the carriage and back before turning away and walking in the other direction.
I clenched my jaw, clutched the cloak tighter around me, and climbed into my ride away from here.
Once we were all inside, and the wheels started to turn, bumping us over the cobblestones, I bit down on my lip. Hard.
Somehow, I needed to find a way to convince Ash not to kill me, and let me return to fight Onyx’s enemies.
But as we rode in silence through the darkness of the tunnel, my mind was just as devoid of light.
Of all the things I was sure of, that Ash would punish me for not killing Tristan was clearer than anything.
The only question was, how badly did he want to hurt me?
Did he want me dead? My life in exchange for the one I didn’t take?
We came out of the other side of the tunnel, the too-blue light of the oncoming chilly weather pouring in through the windows.
Last time, Jacquetta and Gus thrilled to watch the palace come into view. This time, there was no joy as we left it behind. They sat in their seats, their faces drawn, and stared straight ahead without seeing what was in front of them.
All their hopes and their work were always going to come to this, and I should have been brave enough to warn them. I should have made arrangements for them with one of the other potentials like I planned.
But how could I have when I didn’t even heed my own warnings, and allowed myself to grow close to them and Tristan knowing it was a terrible idea that could only end like this?
Questions. That’s all my time at the palace earned me. Questions and whatever pain Ash wanted me to experience.
“Did either of you leave a note saying goodbye to General Pace?” I asked, breaking through the block on my words, and finally thinking about how the General said we should wait for her to try and change Tristan’s mind. Which I knew would be a futile prospect from the exchange in the courtyard.
“Yes,” Jacquetta said, not elaborating on what she wrote. Not that it mattered. As long as she knew we appreciated her time with us.
The likelihood I would ever see the General or Tristan again was small.
Well, I would see them from a distance as I watched out for them. But they wouldn’t see me. It was better that way.
Maybe one day, Tristan would think of me and wonder if I was real again. Because Lady Cinder Ahmya of Lehar was going to disappear, and the only thing left behind would be a string of corpses.
The carriage pulled to a stop. As Jaquetta and Gus climbed out, I wasn’t sure I could bring myself to face Madam Valentin.
But there wasn’t much choice left to me. This was the palace’s carriage. I couldn’t take it all the way home.
I took a deep breath and shoved everything else away. No matter how many times I had to do it to make it stick, I wasn’t going to stop trying.
Stepping out of the carriage, Madam stood at the top of the steps, directing servants where to take the trunks, not looking at us for a moment.
Jacquetta stood tall, although her light was dimmed.
Gus stared straight ahead, every bit of the person she allowed out while we were in the palace retreating to hide behind the mask she wore as a maid again.
After everything, it was never real.
Not when it just led us all back here to exactly where we started.
