The Crane Moon Cycle Duology, page 23
Liu Chenguang looked over at the yard. Through the broken gate, they could see the willow trees overhanging the pond, choked with ash. “Was there someone you cared about there?” he asked, a little catch in his voice.
“Just one person I knew,” Hong Deming said, thinking of Wu Fan. “But you must have known others. You came there that night…” He looked away.
Liu Chenguang’s gaze moved over the courtyard, raking over the building. “The fire was intense,” he said at last. “Anyone still in there is unlikely to have survived, but I don’t see many bodies. Hopefully, your friend escaped.”
“He wasn’t a friend, exactly, but I hope he escaped.” He turned and kept walking.
Past the quarters nearest the gate, the damage became more focused. Only specific cultivational sects had been targeted.
“It’s still so obvious,” Hong Deming said.
“What do you mean?”
Belatedly, he thought maybe Shen Lu hadn’t meant for Liu Chenguang to know this, but then, with a burst of anger, he decided that Liu Chenguang was a disciple and he damn well deserved to know. “Shen Lu told me that this was planned. It was to cover attacks on the cultivational sects that don’t support the new dynasty. Our sect is allied with others in support of the Son of Heaven.”
Liu Chenguang frowned. “Teacher Zhu may well be involved then, but why Peaceful River? They support the emperor, as far as I know…”
“Aren’t you shocked?” he asked.
“Not shocked exactly. Traveling with Teacher Zhu has been an education in that way…The dynasty is unstable, people are not safe, and after years of this, there’s a need to take action to make things better. That’s what I’ve gleaned from what I’ve heard, anyway…There are so many refugees on the road, so many poor people…Did you know that in the Wan Zhao rebellion, when Zhashan was attacked, hundreds of thousands of people came and slaughtered and looted? Starving farmers turned into bandits…and we still had a dynasty, then. The Feng had a few decades left to go.” Liu Chenguang lifted his robes to step over a corpse. “So much death, tainu. So much suffering. Teacher Zhu says that it’s only with a stable dynasty that holds the mandate of heaven that we can avert it. That’s what he says to everyone, at least in public where I can hear. So, I’m not shocked that action is being taken to strengthen the dynasty.”
“But wasn’t it…wrong? For the Crane Moon to ally against cultivators? To help attack a city? So many innocent people died.” So many were killed by me, Hong Deming thought, innocent or not.
Liu Chenguang stopped after walking in silence, seemingly unable to answer. “Look, here’s a good place.”
They were well beyond the damaged quarter now. This inn was well appointed and peaceful, as though in a different world from the corpses at the gate.
“Tainu, wait here. Let me get the room and then bring you in. You’ll frighten them. They won’t rent to you.” He smiled. “This is another education from Teacher Zhu: how to choose a good inn.”
Hong Deming watched him go up the steps and decided that he hated Zhu Guiren with all his heart.
After a while, Liu Chenguang came back out, waiting until the front counter cashier was looking away to lead him upstairs. The room was pleasant, with a window of translucent paper panes filtering the afternoon sunlight, a large bed platform, and a table for tea.
“I’ve already sent for hot water,” Liu Chenguang said. “You should bathe up here.”
For a moment they stood staring at each other. The silence drew out.
Liu Chenguang cleared his throat. “I’ll have them send up extra water, so you can…get really clean. Leave the dirty robes. Do you have clean ones?”
Hong Deming gratefully held up the bag Shen Lu had brought.
“I’ll go, then.” Liu Chenguang turned to the door.
“Will you come back?” Hong Deming asked quickly.
Liu Chenguang turned and smiled. “Of course,” he said.
Hong Deming felt something warm him inside. Everything would be well, as long as Liu Chenguang would be there and would smile at him like that.
After he left, Hong Deming stripped off the bloody robes and threw them outside the door in disgust. He wiped himself off with a bathing cloth and settled into the bathing tub after getting off the worst of it. He poured water over himself till it turned cold, thinking about what to do next; he was so exhausted that nothing seemed to come to mind. When he thought of Shen Lu’s calm explanation — of the Crane Moon collaborating with bandits to hide an attack on cultivators — he felt sick to his stomach. The corpses in the street and the burned houses lingered in his mind, too, as he washed the blood from his body. He did hope Wu Fan had gotten away, somewhere safe.
The image of a ruined Zhashan kept haunting him. His birth family had been killed in the Wan Zhao rebellion. At least, Taiqian had thought so…
And Liu Chenguang…how could it be that there was so much hatred for him in the sect, so much distrust? Did he sense it, did it hurt him to know? Or did he really not care at all? Out loud, as though Shen Lu could hear, he said, “Tainu, I’m not that stupid. I know he’s not like other people, but why does it matter?” Why did it matter so much that Shen Lu would simply walk away without even greeting his own taine? Why did it matter so much that his own willingness to accept Liu Chenguang’s oddities was proof that he was incapable of good judgment?
His body was beginning to ache all over and he felt the drain on his qi from the nonstop fighting. The water in the bath had turned pink, and he was glad that Liu Chenguang had arranged for the second tub so that he could fully rinse off before staggering toward the bed to collapse.
He was startled awake by Liu Chenguang’s voice above him. “Tainu, the food’s here. You should eat. It’s gotten late, almost dark.”
Hong Deming struggled to get out of the bed, but winced and fell back; his arm and side wouldn’t bear weight, and his entire body felt bruised and battered.
“What’s wrong?” Liu Chenguang came over and stopped still, staring down at him.
Hong Deming looked down at himself. He was wearing only an inner robe after the bath and it had opened slightly, exposing enormous, multi-layered bruises over his throat, collarbone, and shoulder. His entire left side was shades of dark red, blue, and purple.
Liu Chenguang knelt next to the bed, staring at the bruises, biting his lip till the blood showed. “You said you were fine,” he accused. “Why didn’t you tell me? It wouldn’t have gotten this bad if I’d taken care of it right away. Can you even move at all?”
Truthfully, moving felt quite difficult. He tried to get up again, but the bruises had now set deeply and his muscles and tendons didn’t seem to want to respond. “I’m fine,” he said nonetheless. “Really. It’s just from a qin attack. I–”
He broke off into inarticulate gasping because Liu Chenguang grasped him by his right shoulder so he couldn’t move and leaned over to kiss the bruise on his throat. It almost felt as though Liu Chenguang was licking him, his mouth moving over his throat and below to his collarbone, kissing, pressing gently, the blood and saliva soothing his skin. Wherever Liu Chenguang’s mouth went, intense pleasure followed through Hong Deming’s body, heating him beyond his ability to bear.
“Ah, please,” he begged. “Please, I can’t–”
Liu Chenguang looked up, blood bright on his lips. He didn’t look particularly aroused; he looked furious, his long eyes narrowed. “Where else? Where else are you hurt? And don’t lie this time.”
Hong Deming shook his head, still trying to get his breath. He was fairly confident that if Liu Chenguang did that to his hip, he couldn’t be responsible for the consequences. “There’s nothing. Nothing–”
“Get up then,” Liu Chenguang said coldly.
He couldn’t.
“Tainu!” Liu Chenguang yelled in exasperation. “Fine then.”
He laid his hands on both sides of Hong Deming’s face to hold him still again, bent down, and kissed his lips. Hong Deming tasted the salt of his blood as Liu Chenguang’s tongue slipped effortlessly between his lips and teeth. He groaned, grasping Liu Chenguang’s shoulders and then the nape of his neck, holding on tightly. Liu Chenguang’s hair fell down around him, teasing at his bared throat and chest and engulfing him in his scent and warmth. Liu Chenguang’s body responded to him, not struggling to get away but pressing closer. He heard him gasp as well, the two of them softly breathing and panting together. He moved his hand down Chenguang’s back to his waist, bringing them closer; it seemed to him that they couldn’t get close enough.
“Chenguang,” he breathed, opening his eyes at last to look at him.
Liu Chenguang’s eyes were partly closed, hazy and unfocused, his bitten lip swollen, but the bleeding had already stopped. “Deming,” Liu Chenguang responded, and kissed him again, gently, eyes still half closed.
Hong Deming watched him, entranced by the sound of his name in his mouth and the shape of his lips, his dreaming eyes.
“Don’t lie to me anymore. If you’re hurt, tell me right away.”
“I’ll want to get hurt all the time now,” he said.
Chenguang laughed and laid his head down on his breast, half-lying on him. He couldn’t see himself under Liu Chenguang’s hair, but the bruises felt much better.
“I hope you don’t give this treatment to everyone, though.”
“Just to you…”
There was a knock at the door. Both of them started and sat up — it was quite easy now, Hong Deming noticed; being kissed by Liu Chenguang was evidently a magical panacea — flushed and disarrayed, trying to quickly make themselves decent.
Liu Chenguang dashed across the room to Hong Deming’s luggage and threw an outer robe at him, then went to the door. “Yes?” he asked, clearing his throat.
“Master, sorry for the disturbance, but there’s someone here that–”
“Student Liu,” interrupted a cold voice that Hong Deming now thoroughly detested.
“Teacher Zhu,” Liu Chenguang sighed. He opened the door.
Zhu Guiren swept in, wearing court robes. His eyes landed first on Hong Deming, sitting demurely at the tea table. “You survived the unfortunate attack on Peaceful River, I see.”
Hong Deming said, “Thanks to the efforts of the disciples of the sect, we did fend off the attackers successfully.”
Zhu Guiren nodded, clearly dismissing him. “Student Liu, I’ve completed what’s necessary here. We need to depart with the Crane Moon sect leader tonight. We will require their protection on the road back, after today’s events. There will be attacks from the scattered disciples of the surviving targeted sects. My name has unfortunately been associated with this.”
Liu Chenguang said, “Of course, I’m ready. Hong Deming was injured today–”
“Have you healed him?” he cut in, as though Hong Deming wasn’t right there. “I told you, no more healing until the work is complete.”
“I’ve been healing people all morning, actually,” said Liu Chenguang coolly. “And I’m fine. Check if you don’t think so.”
Zhu Guiren declined to touch the arm he held out. “Student Liu,” he said sternly, “I am still your teacher, and you must trust that I know more than you do about this. The issue is not only whether you can survive healing others, randomly and constantly as the opportunity presents itself, though I’m not sure you can, but how this will affect your powers in the next few months.”
Hong Deming looked at Liu Chenguang, whose expression was rebellious, then back at Zhu Guiren.
Liu Chenguang shrugged. “Well, it doesn’t matter. Either way, I’m fine. Hong Deming and I will be coming, of course. Just let us gather our things. I’m sure you need to change out of court dress before we leave, Teacher Zhu.”
“Oh, is he coming too?” Zhu Guiren raised his eyebrows. “I was under the impression that his sect leader had given him other commands.”
Liu Chenguang turned and looked at Hong Deming, speechless.
He nodded reluctantly. “I’m to seek yaoguai. I can’t return to Crane Moon for a year, at least.”
“A year,” Liu Chenguang echoed. He looked back at Zhu Guiren. “How fortuitous.”
“Within a year,” Zhu Guiren said blandly, “if all goes as planned, the current unrest should be addressed adequately by the stabilizing of the dynasty. At that point, cultivators might be able to return to their sects with the re-establishment of law and order and the guarantee of safety for the common people.”
Hong Deming looked back and forth between them. Certainly, he thought to his own satisfaction, no one would think these two were involved, seeing them talk together. It seemed to be pompous demands on one side and outspoken resentment on the other. Liu Chenguang showed Zhu Guiren none of the warmth he had when he smiled at Hong Deming, which was a lovely thing to think about, but there would be at least a year before they could be together again.
“I’m not going to Crane Moon,” Liu Chenguang said. He sat down to emphasize his words. “I’ll stay with Hong Deming. We’ll wander together.”
Zhu Guiren opened his mouth, then closed it again and looked at Hong Deming. Eventually, he said, “Student Liu, you have to complete your cultivational healing for yourself before you can go out into the world. I know how to get you through what will happen in the next year–”
“What will happen in the next year?” Hong Deming asked sharply.
“Nothing. Nothing will happen that I won’t be perfectly fine doing,” Liu Chenguang said, glaring at Zhu Guiren.
“One more year, Student Liu. One more year, and everything will be done. Then, you’ll be able to go do…whatever it is you want to do. A year isn’t so long, is it, when it’s your life at stake?”
“My life is not at stake!” Liu Chenguang shouted in frustration. “I am perfectly fine! I know my powers better than you.”
“Do you refuse, then, to do what I order you to do? Your sect leader placed you under my authority.”
“Then let Hong Deming come back with me. Let him come back to Crane Moon with me,” Liu Chenguang said stubbornly. He met Hong Deming’s eyes, fierce and pleading.
“I can’t, taine. I’m forbidden to come.” He held Liu Chenguang’s gaze, trying to communicate things he couldn’t possibly say in front of Zhu Guiren.
Zhu Guiren added, “That wasn’t my decision, Student Liu. You can’t blame me for it, and I can’t change it.”
Liu Chenguang clenched his hands into fists and stared at the floor. “Will you release me, Zhu Guiren,” he asked through his teeth, “and tell Taiqian that I am able to be on my own?”
“Not yet. One more year. And Liu Chenguang,” Zhu Guiren added, using his full name, “you know that if I release you, you still owe obedience to your sect leader. I am only carrying out their authority through delegation now.”
Liu Chenguang stared silently at the tea table.
Zhu Guiren raised his eyes to meet Hong Deming’s. He said, “Student Liu, you need one more year of work with me, in an intensive environment, to stabilize your cultivation and avoid qi deviation in your healing path. You need to be in a safe and protected place where I can help you in case of emergency.”
“There will be no emergencies,” Liu Chenguang said.
Hong Deming spoke, trying to be polite, although he truly wanted to smash Zhu Guiren into little pieces: “Master Zhu, please leave first. I will bring my taine to the gate to meet you and the sect leader in one hour.”
Zhu Guiren nodded and swept out.
Defeated, Liu Chenguang stared at him from the tea table. Hong Deming readied himself for one last attempt to say what he meant, to make things good between them after everything that had happened. The silence stretched as Liu Chenguang looked at him with sad eyes.
At last, Hong Deming said, “I wish more than anything that you could come with me, or I could come with you. But your being safe means more than that. That’s the most important thing to me — for you to be safe.”
Liu Chenguang finally smiled and shook his head. “Why do you think I don’t want to let you go anywhere without me, after seeing what a mess you got yourself into today?” He stood and walked over to Hong Deming, reaching out to touch his hand cautiously. “Deming, before, were you drunk?”
Hong Deming smiled and took his other hand as well, lightly tracing the shape of Liu Chenguang’s fingers, his delicacy and strength. “I wasn’t drunk. Were you?”
“I wanted to kiss you for so long. That’s all,” Liu Chenguang said, and blushed a little bit. “I took advantage. You should know, I really don’t normally heal people that way. By kissing them.”
“But you use your blood to heal people?” Hong Deming gently stroked the dark hair back sticking to his skin, his forehead a little warm and sweaty. It made his heart beat harder. “Your hair is a mess, Chenguang.”
“My blood has healing powers, yes,” Liu Chenguang said, smiling up at him. “And if my hair is a mess, it’s completely your fault.”
“It’s your cultivational path?”
Liu Chenguang hesitated slightly. “That’s the best way to explain it. Does it frighten you, that I can do that?”
“No. Nothing about you could frighten me, Chenguang.” Hong Deming gathered him into his arms, where he fit completely perfectly. Liu Chenguang tipped his face up and Hong Deming very softly kissed him on his eyebrows, his nose, and his lips.
“It truly doesn’t bother you, that I’m not like other people?” Liu Chenguang asked through all the kissing.
“No,” Hong Deming said. He thought to himself that it was a wonderful feeling, to kiss Liu Chenguang gently like this — as though they unshakably belonged to each other and could count on having all the time in the world for everything else.
