A Voice Without Reason, page 12
Becca’s infectious laugh fills the studio. “I thought I was going to be taken out on a date tonight, not bringing home a Dom. And I’m not calling you Daddy.”
“We are absolutely going out tonight; I’m a man of my word. You, my beautiful stranger, are going to come all over my face before we leave, though.”
23
JULIAN
Recording without her present is the only way I’ll be able to get through the book. Every time Bryan called Anna kitten, I had to stop recording—my jaw would tick and the lines were coming out gritty. I know she wanted a commanding voice for this character, but the unadulterated anger I felt coursing through my veins wasn’t quite the same thing.
I got through a few chapters after she left. Now that I’m done for the day, all I want is to drive over to her place and claim her as mine. One week was all it took for her to turn me into some sort of possessive fae prince in a fantasy book.
Becca’s not expecting me for a few hours and I have a bit of work to do. The drive to the hotel is quiet, so I take out my phone, which is still on silent from recording, and switch it over to regular volume. There’s a few hundred emails but only four text messages—all four from her. I can’t help the smile that crosses my face the moment I see her name.
My Becca
Not sure where we’re going tonight, but will this do?
It’s followed by a photo of her in an all black dress with a low v-cut neckline that makes me want to trace the outline with my tongue.
Or this?
I’m hard the minute I see the next photo. My slacks are now entirely too tight, I have to adjust myself. She’s on the bed, naked and covered by a thin white sheet. It hugs her incredible curves and…
“Damon, change of plans. Take me to Becca’s.”
My driver looks in the rearview mirror and asks, “The one on the Upper East Side from yesterday?”
“That’s the one.”
Damon nods and we make our way to her apartment. Thankfully, it’s only a twenty minute drive, but it’s also the longest twenty minutes of my life. The pull I have towards this woman is fucking intense.
When I was here yesterday, a man was entering the building and let me in. Today, I’m not as lucky. I press the intercom button for apartment 17 to call her.
“Hello.”
“Good evening, my Becca.” I keep my voice low and purposefully seductive.
“You’re early.” The door beeps to unlock. “Come on up.”
I take the stairs two at a time. When I finally reach her door, I blow out a deep breath and knock three times.
“It’s open,” she yells, muffled through the door.
When I open the door, I find her cross-legged on her couch, with her laptop perched on her lap. She’s wearing a pair of black leggings and oversized NYU sweatshirt that has seen better days, but she’s still fucking stunning. Her hair is tied up in a messy bun and she has her purple rimmed glasses on. I haven’t seen her wear them since the plane and it gives me flashbacks to meeting her for the first time, when my life changed forever.
Becca doesn’t look up from her laptop. “Five more minutes.” I sit down on the couch next to her, kissing her on the cheek. She hums in response. “You’re early.”
“So I’ve been told.” I try to take a peek at her work but she shuts the laptop as soon as she realizes what I’m doing. “Care to share?”
“It’s not ready. I… I’m working on something new.” Becca’s cheeks are now dusted dark pink.
“Must be quite the steamy scene you’re working on. You’re flushed.” I move a rogue strand of hair out of her face and tuck it behind her ear. “When can I read it? Or I can act it out for you.” I move to kneel in front of her, carefully taking off her glasses and setting them on the coffee table behind me. I remove the laptop from her lap and set it aside. “I thought I told you to be naked when I arrived.”
Becca removes her sweatshirt, tossing it to the ground, revealing she was wearing nothing underneath. Fuck. “You were early. I had work to get done.” She uncrosses her legs, placing one on either side of me as she slips off her leggings… without underwear. “Why are you still dressed?”
I pull her legs, forcing her closer to me. “Because I’m not going to fuck you… I just missed the taste of you.” I don’t have condoms with me, otherwise I’d be deep inside her. Right fucking now. I lick slowly up her beautiful cunt and swirl my tongue around her clit, making her shudder.
“You can’t just keep… ahhh… going down on me, Julian.”
I chuckle against her and, between licks, reply, “This pussy is mine. I can do whatever I like with it.” Her head falls back as she lets out a soft moan. “That’s right, baby. Let me make you feel good.” I press two fingers inside her and curl them at the same pace as my tongue.
“Oh, fuck!” she cries out and I add a third.
Hearing her sexy moans has me fantasizing about waking up every morning with her—getting her wet and ready with my fingers before I drive into her bare. I allow myself to live in the daydream for a moment. She’s close to coming for me, tightening around my fingers as I suck hard on her clit, nearly sending her over the edge.
“Julian.” My name comes out as a plea.
“Yes, baby?”
“Right there. Don’t st…” She comes hard and fast for me. Fuck dinner. I’d gladly feast on her all night if it meant I’d get to hear my name spill from her lips over and over again.
I kiss the inside of her thigh, looking up at her through my lashes as I carefully remove my fingers from her pussy, sucking them clean. She grips my shirt, pulling me to her. Our lips are less than an inch apart. Her breath is labored and I steal it for myself, kissing her hard. She wraps her arms around me as if she can’t get close enough.
“Are you ready to head out?” I ask against her lips.
She chuckles and pulls back. “Does it look like I’m ready?” I glance down at her beautiful naked body, biting my lip. “I was promised a date, but if you want to do other things, I’m not opposed.”
“No,” I groan. “We already missed out on seeing St. Tropez because I was inside you the entire time. You’re not missing out on what I have planned, no matter how much I want that lady garden of yours wrapped around my cock.”
Her head hangs back in laughter and I can’t help myself as I kiss her exposed neck. I refrain from leaving a mark like a fucking vampire, as much as I want to claim her. I’ve waited my whole life for a woman like Becca, and it’s fucking irrational that I’m feeling this way, but I want her to be…
Mine.
She cups each side of my face, kissing me once, then gets up without a word and walks toward her bedroom to get dressed.
Pausing at the door, she turns back. “Oh, you might want to rein in the whole growling mine against my neck. Unless you plan on following through on that.”
Fuck. I’m falling in love with her.
24
BECCA
I’m wound up so damn tight. About an hour before Julian showed up, there was a delivery from a courier containing a giant dress box with a note saying simply “Wear me. -J.” As if he wasn’t spoiling me enough with selfless orgasms, he buys me yet another extravagant gift.
I slip into the emerald green, floor-length silk dress that makes my ass look amazing and trumpets at the bottom. It’s low-cut and my boobs are practically spilling out of it. It leaves little to the imagination—it may as well be painted on. Staring at myself in my full length mirror, I swipe my hand down my body at non-existent wrinkles. My gaze lifts as I spot Julian approaching. We lock eyes in the mirror briefly before his arm wraps around me from behind. My favorite move of his.
Can I have a favorite move? We’ve known each other for, what, eight seconds?
Julian kisses my neck and whispers, “You look incredible.”
“A fancy dress will do that.” I turn in his hold, placing my hands on his chest. “You didn’t need to buy me anything, I could’ve worn the black one.”
“The green one matches your eyes… among other things,” he says, biting his lip.
“Where are we going that I’d need something this… naked?”
He chuckles and brushes his nose against mine, practically begging me to kiss him. “Can’t I just buy you something pretty and enjoy how fucking amazing it looks on you?”
“As long as your reasons are completely selfish, I’ll let it slide.” I close the short distance, only offering a ghost of a kiss. He groans in response and pulls my body closer to him. “Where are we going?”
“When was the last time you saw a Broadway show?”
“This isn’t Broadway, Julian. This is Hamilton… orchestra seating.” I don’t need to research it to know these seats are incredibly expensive, especially since we have backstage passes to meet the cast after the show.
Julian rests his arm behind me and whispers beside my ear, his breath tickling my neck, “Only the best for my girl.” While he says it playfully, my stomach flips at the implication that I’m his.
He’s not wrong. I know things have moved fast between us, but I’ve never felt this way about someone before. Since the moment we met, I’ve felt a connection with him, like we are old souls that found each other after years apart.
“It’s too much, but… thank you.” I kiss his cheek and his sweet smile spreads from ear to ear.
Lights flash, indicating the show’s about to start. I sit back in my seat and his thumb swipes slowly back and forth on my shoulder. I lean into his touch. We shouldn’t see anyone we know here, but if we did, his touch is innocent enough that I could say we’re just friends and I’m cold.
Ok, that’s a lie. All of this is incredibly compromising, but I enjoy his touch so much that I really don’t care who sees his arm around me.
I’ve watched the show so many times on streaming services, I can recite the entire thing from memory. Song after song, I’m biting my tongue to not belt out the lyrics. When the final song before intermission ends, we give a standing ovation. Julian’s hand wanders down my back, squeezing my hip once before he begins his own applause. The simple touch gives me butterflies.
“Let’s stretch our legs; it's a three hour show.” He offers his hand and I debate taking it, but I know he can sense my hesitation. I take a deep breath and place my hand in his. Bringing our joined hands up to his lips, he asks softly, “What are you doing to me, my Becca?”
“I don’t know,” I reply honestly. The world around me doesn’t exist. In this moment, it’s just Julian.
I search for his trademark gold flecks in his irises, not finding them. His hungry eyes are almost completely black as he stares back at me.
A woman clears her throat behind me, forcing my gaze from Julian to her as she attempts to move past us. When it returns to him, he slides his free hand into my hair and kisses me. I let him, even if it’s a risk. As he tries to take it further and dip his tongue into my mouth, I become acutely aware of how this looks and pull back.
“Not here,” I whisper.
He chuckles, shaking his head. “I’m sorry. I’m a grown man trying to grope you here in the middle of a theater.” He takes a deep breath. “I can’t not touch you. I can’t explain it.”
“Come on. I have an idea.” I bite my lip and take his hand, guiding him down the aisle. I feel like a damn teenager trying to skip class; I’m half tempted to pull him into a secluded bathroom or dark corner. I’m ready to go home and make love… have sex with this beautiful man.
When we reach the main lobby, it dawns on me that he was able to secure these tickets fairly quickly, but on the plane he asked me for museum recommendations. He also seems to know this theater like the back of his hand. This isn’t his first time here. I pause and look up at him, my eyes searching his. “How often do you come to New York?”
“About once a month. Why?”
I can’t help the chuckle that escapes me. “Then, why did you need museum recommendations?” His smile gives him away. “You’re such a flirt.”
“I would have talked to you about the weather or even your favorite, boring as hell, non-fiction book, if it meant I had your attention for two minutes. Becca, I should tell you—”
“Well, isn’t this a pleasant surprise.”
I don’t know who this man is, but Julian pulls away from me immediately.
“Andre. Good to see you. May I introduce Merlot Bennet? Merlot, this is Andre, my agent.”
Shit. This is a bookish thing.
“Ah, the infamous Merlot.” Andre offers his hand and I take it. He presses a gross as fuck kiss to my knuckles, his wiry beard scratching my skin. “Pleasure is mine.”
“Nice to meet you.” The moment my hand is free, I discreetly brush it against Julian’s coat, not wanting any potential saliva on my dress. “I was just telling Julian I’m not feeling well and need to head home. I apologize for not being able to stay and socialize.” I look at Julian, his hurt apparent on his face as I back away. “Thank you for an unforgettable evening, and Andre, it was so great to meet the man Julian has said nothing but wonderful things about. Excuse me.”
I step away before things become even more awkward. The fact that I can’t openly be with Julian is shattering my heart into thousands of pieces, now more than ever.
I’m falling for a man that I can’t have… at least not right now.
25
JULIAN
“You’re a fucking idiot. You’re sleeping with Merlot, aren’t you?”
“That’s none of your business,” I grit out. I was careless when I asked about the contract, but Andre won’t say anything that would compromise his commission. Right?
“You’re in breach of contract. That’s absolutely my business,” Andre huffs.
I rake a hand through my hair. “I need to go. We’ll talk about this another time.”
Andre shakes his head in disappointment and I walk away in search of Becca. Exiting the double doors, I find her waiting out front, typing on her phone. She’s a vision, even with a scowl on her face.
“There you are.”
She looks up from her phone. “Here I am.”
“Come on, let’s head back in. Intermission is almost over and they’ll lock us out if we aren’t in our seats.” I take her hand but she pulls it back. “Don’t worry about Andre.”
“It isn’t just Andre. We’re being careless… I’m being careless. If we get caught, it would be a PR nightmare. This might just be some sort of hobby for you, but writing is what pays the bills for me. I can’t afford bad press around this audiobook, especially with my new novel coming out in a few months.” She takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I should go.”
Becca looks away but I guide her by the chin to look back at me. “No.”
“No, what?”
“No to all of it. This isn’t just a hobby for me. I might not need the money, but this is my job and reputation that you’re belittling. I take pride in my work.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said—”
“I’m not finished.” I slide my hand along her jaw and tangle it into her hair, swiping my thumb on her cheek. “I promise I won’t let anything happen to your books,” I say softly. “But I have no intention of ending whatever this is between us. You want to keep things quiet, I get it. Consider this our last outing until the audiobook is finished and I’m no longer under contract.” I rest my forehead on hers. “In case I’m not making myself clear, I want you, my Becca. So, we’ll be careful and I’ll play by your rules.”
“This doesn’t look innocent.” Her voice comes out strangled.
I chuckle and pull her closer. “You’re right.”
“Julian,” she whispers. “What the hell is this?” She pulls back an inch; her eyes dart between mine. “I want you. I want you more than I’ve wanted anyone in my life… None of this makes sense.”
I bring her lips to mine. Her kisses are gentle, cautious, but still hold the same fire I crave from her.
None of the epic romances got it right. What I feel for Becca is deeper than anything Shakespeare could have came up with. Jane Austen’s Darcy isn’t even close. Maybe that guy from Bridgerton who burns for her, but even then… it’s not enough. This woman in my arms completes me in a way I never thought possible. I’ve been hers from the moment I saw her.
A few raindrops hit the back of my head and I slowly step away from her. “Come back inside with me?” I ask hopefully.
“That was… did you just try to make love to my mouth?”
I can’t help but laugh. “Are you sure you aren’t a romcom author?” I kiss her cheek and, instead of taking her hand, I offer her my arm. “Shall we?”
We head inside to enjoy the rest of the show. I keep my hands to myself… sort of. Some part of my body’s in contact with her at all times. Once it’s over, we head backstage to meet the cast. They’re all so incredibly kind and welcoming, even offering us a tour.
“Here’s where some of the props are kept and…” The woman presses her fingers to her headset. “Sorry, I have to run and grab this. Feel free to look around. When you’re done, Linda will meet you out front and can get you any autographed swag you want.”
She walks away and, after spending the last couple hours in the dark next to her, my palm itches to touch Becca. She looks up into the rafters as she asks, “When was the last time you had a book-worthy moment, Julian?” When her gaze returns to mine, she offers a sly smile, biting her lip.
I take a step toward her. “I suppose it depends on the book.”
“How about a spicy romance about an audiobook narrator who finds himself quite taken with a romance author? One where she can’t stay away from him, no matter how hard she tries.”
