A Voice Without Reason, page 11
Becca smirks and once the woman is out of earshot, she asks, “Taken, huh?”
Guiding her until her back is pressed against the wall, I lean over her and brace myself with my hand above her head. “Yeah, I’d say so.” I brush a kiss to her neck and she lets out a sigh that quickly turns into a moan. Fuck. I love that I can do that to her.
“Let me grab my purse. We can head out,” she says breathlessly.
I groan against her shoulder. “I thought you didn’t want to be seen together.”
“You can keep your hands to yourself for a few hours.”
“Doubtful.” I nip at her earlobe, which causes her to swallow hard.
Becca places her hands on my chest and gently pushes me away so she can head into her apartment. I wait at the doorway, itching to touch her, but remain leaning against the frame while she grabs her things.
I feel like I’ve been waiting my entire life to meet someone like her—someone who makes our conversations feel like an exciting chess match. She’s vivacious, so full of fire. One taste of her and I’ve developed a bit of an obsession.
“Are you ok?”
I blink away my thoughts. “Yeah, why?”
“You were frowning. Kind of an international sign for something being wrong.” She swipes her thumb between my brows and her simple touch has my face relaxed into a more neutral expression. “There. That’s better. Can’t be seen in public with a grouch. What would the tabloids say?” She playfully nudges me backward so she can close the door and lock it.
“Where are we headed?” I take her hand and kiss the back of it. “I need to give my driver a heads up.”
“Driver? No, we’re calling a rideshare or walking. I’ve already been spoiled enough by your lavish but incredibly magical trip.”
I chuckle. “I hired him earlier today. He’ll be my driver until I leave New York.” Which might be never. “No need for a rideshare or taxi.”
“Ok, fancypants. I accept your ride, but I’m buying the drinks.”
Not a chance.
“Or, you can just let me take you out on a date, like a normal couple,” I counter.
She raises a curious eyebrow. “Now we’re a couple?”
I close the distance and tuck her hair behind her ear as I lean in with a low voice, in hopes of seducing my beautiful stranger. “You want to be mine as much as I want to be yours, my Becca.” When I pull back, her cheeks are flushed and eyes wide. Fucking perfect. “You can pick the place, but”—I take her chin between my thumb and forefinger and kiss her softly—“I’m treating my girl to a real date tonight.”
“I’ll have two Manhattans, please.” The bartender nods and dives right into making our drinks.
Becca chose a jazz club four blocks from her house so that we could A) walk here and B) she could ensure we wouldn’t end up naked. Since it’s dark, I can still touch her. Hold her hand. Whisper to her how much I want her.
I do none of these.
I reign in my temptation and focus on the music as soon as I return to the table with our drinks. This game of cat and mouse we’re playing is torture—as if she wants me to test her. She places her hand on my thigh, entirely too close to where I desperately want her. A quick unzip and she’d have the freedom to touch me.
If anyone were to ask me, what my intentions are when this audiobook is done, my answer would be simple: Becca. I’d give up every dime to my name for just one day with this woman. We already missed out on sightseeing in St. Tropez because my cock had other plans. If I want to play this right, I need to keep it in my pants.
The trumpet blares with a solo, but I can’t enjoy it. Becca’s hand wanders lower between my legs, her pinky grazing my balls. Fuck. I take her hand in mine, interlacing our fingers, squeezing tight. She groans. I’m not about to give in to her sexy as fuck game she’s playing.
I softly kiss her neck and insist, “Keep that up and I’ll have a car here in less than four minutes to take you home. Be my good girl and keep your hands to yourself or expect my own hand between your legs.”
Becca bites her lip, as if this is a dare. “When have I ever been a good girl?”
“Fuck,” I mutter.
“When’s your birthday?”
Her question takes me by surprise. “July 19th. Why?”
She chuckles. “I knew you were a Cancer, but not exactly six months from mine.”
It dawns on me that I have no fucking clue how old she is. So, I ask.
“I’m 33. You?”
“24.” I try to keep a serious face but fail immediately. “36.”
She lets out a sigh of relief and a short laugh. “I mean, you look young but not that young. Ok, so what’s your middle name?”
“Shh. What is this? Twenty questions? We came here to enjoy the music.” I have no issue telling her but I want to watch her squirm. Becca’s obviously on a mission for information and I intend to draw it out as long as possible. She’ll win this round, but in the end, I’ll be the real winner.
Becca shifts uncomfortably in her seat, as expected, but she looks down slightly. “Sorry,” she whispers.
Fuck. She must’ve taken me seriously. Just like me, she’s looking for answers. I should’ve just told her instead of playing hard to get.
I lift her chin and kiss her harder than I should dare to do in public, hoping she won't stop me. “James,” I say against her lips. I reluctantly break our kiss, pulling back but still sharing a breath. “My parents wanted me to be J.J. but it never stuck.” Her eyes dart between mine. “But turn away from me like that again, and expect to be punished for it—I won’t let you come as I taste that delicious cunt of yours.” She bites her lip and it takes everything in me to not drop to my knees and worship her right here. “You want to know something? Ask it. I’m an open book.”
21
BECCA
This all feels like a game—one I’m losing. I’m torn between wanting to get to know him and shielding my heart from the inevitable pain that’s to come when this is over. Against my better judgment, I resign myself to the fact that this is a once in a lifetime love… lust. Once in a lifetime lust. I’d be foolish to not give in to whatever this is.
Maybe he wasn’t joking about moving here? What if he moved here and it didn’t work out? I’d feel like a real bitch if he moved across the country and things didn’t end in a happily ever after. Why am I even considering this? I’ve known him a fucking week…
“You’re notorious for non-answers, my Becca, but I’ll ask anyway. What’s yours?”
“My what?” I’m so lost in thought that I’ve completely forgotten what we were talking about.
“Your middle name. Unless you want to give me the infamous name of your…” Julian glances to my lap and back up again.
The music stops and there’s clapping all around us but I don’t break eye contact with Julian. I contemplate not telling him either name, keeping the mystery alive.
The air is thick between us. My heart rate has slowed and it’s as if time has stopped altogether. The flame from the candle on the table casts shadows on his face, the flecks of gold shimmering in his eyes as the firelight dances across them.
A cocktail waitress approaches the table. “Pardon me. Can I grab you two something to drink.”
Julian’s eyes never leave mine as he reaches into his pocket, pulling out a few bills. He glances at her long enough to say, “Two Manhattans, please. Keep the change.” He hands her the cash. I sneak a glance and it’s two $100 bills. His gaze returns to mine as she walks away. “You’re really not going to tell me, are you?”
I swallow hard. “Marie.” I clarify, “My middle name is Marie.”
He leans in to kiss my neck, and whispers, “I suppose I don’t need the name of your pussy. The only thing I intend to ever call it is mine.”
My breath catches. “Um, well, someone’s been reading romance books. You have the growly book boyfriend thing down.”
“I’m not fictional. But I wouldn’t mind being…” He sits back and takes a drink, setting down the now-empty glass.
“Mind being what?”
“Since you’re a romance author, I would’ve assumed you’d be able to pick up on a man flirting with you. Your boyfriend, Becca. I wouldn’t mind being your boyfriend.” A boyish grin spreads across his face.
“Are you going to give me your letterman’s jacket too? Or your class ring? Are we courting, my Julian?”
Julian laughs, biting his lip. “Baby, I’d give you whatever you want, if you were mine. I’m sure I could go back home and rummage in the basement of my parents’ house to find my old jacket. I was captain of the football team, you know. You’d be the talk of the whole school wearing it.” He shrugs off his jacket and places it around my shoulders. “This will have to do for now.”
The waitress returns with our drinks. I take a sip of mine and say into my glass, “You said if I was yours. Sounds to me like it’s undecided.”
He takes my glass and sets it on the table. “It’s for you to decide. For the next few weeks while we’re recording, I’ll keep my distance. Flirting aside, I like you. A lot. So, you better believe as soon as we’re done, I want to date you and, dare I say, be with you. But you get to decide what you want here.”
I want you.
Whatever this is going on between us, it’s feeling dangerously close to a serious relationship. For the first time all week, I’m actually ok with it.
“Daddy’s a cat?” Julian tries to contain his laughter
“What? You thought he was some sexy old man? It’s ok, I thought so too.”
I open the can of cat food and it smells horrid. I quickly scoop it into a bowl for Daddy so we can get the hell out of here. The last thing I want is for it to permeate my clothes.
I lock up Mrs. Goldstein’s place and walk down the hall to mine. I pause with the key in the lock, but I don’t turn. “Would you, um, like to come inside?” I ask, my gaze fixed on the handle.
“Yes, but…” Julian’s pause has me looking up, my eyes searching his. He was waiting for it. “I would rather take you out tomorrow night. Would you go out with me, my Becca?”
“Maybe.”
His eyebrows raise. “Maybe?”
“Yeah. Maybe,” I confirm. “If you can pick somewhere we won’t get caught.”
He cages me in with his hand, propping himself up against the door behind me. “If I promise, is that a yes?”
I swallow hard. My voice nearly cracking, I reply, “Yes.”
Julian closes the distance and kisses me softly. It’s warm, sweet, and gentle… a first date kiss. I laugh lightly at the thought.
“Is there something funny?” He pulls back an inch. I whimper at the loss of contact.
“Oh, no. I was just thinking that we technically had a first date. Kind of backwards, don’t you think?”
“Only a little. I knew the moment I met you that this would be anything but normal.” He presses a chaste kiss to my cheek. “Goodnight, my Becca. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Julian pushes off the door and steps away to head downstairs. “Wait.” He turns back. “You forgot something.”
“I’m not coming inside. As much as I’d love to have your naked body wrapped up in mine, I have to prepare for tomorrow. Big day recording a book by the sexiest woman I’ve ever known,” he says with a wink.
“No, I mean yes, I want you to stay with me. But you forgot to ask for my number.” I can’t help the grin on my face.
He shakes his head, amused. “You’re absolutely right.” He hands me his phone and I put my name and number in his contacts.
“There. Now there’s no reason for you to pop by unannounced.” I hand it back to him.
“Sorry about that.”
“No, you’re not… but neither am I.”
22
JULIAN
Beads of sweat collect on my forehead and I run my sweaty palms over my pants. I’ve never been so nervous. I’d rather be in a spelling bee naked than narrate this book in front of her. When I did it before, it was in the comfort of my hotel room, where I could control everything. Also, I was trying to seduce her… and it epically backfired.
They placed us in a small recording space, since it’s just the two of us. “When I start, you’ll need to not move or make any sudden noises or I’ll have to re-record it.”
Becca lets out a soft laugh and nods. “Ok.”
I set everything up and begin. “Chapter Two. Bryan.” I click my clicker twice to indicate the end of narration for the female narrator to take over. “No one has to know, kitten…”
I pull off my headphones after four paragraphs. Bile rises in my throat at the thought of him being with her. I’m not sure where her story ends and fiction begins. I know this is a role reversal, where Anna is the one who cheats on Bryan, but the fact that he was with her in the first place… I want to punch a wall.
“What’s wrong?” Becca genuinely asks. “That sounded great.”
I tilt my head to crack my neck. “I just need a little break.”
“Break? You’ve only narrated a few paragraphs.” She looks at the equipment. “Is the recording off?”
I nod, unable to look at her for fear that I’d do something reckless and steal her away from here and never look back. I had no idea I’d be walking into this when I took on the book. I just wanted to spend time with her.
I am spending time with her, I remind myself. Without this book, I wouldn’t be with the most fascinating woman I’ve ever met. I know we haven’t slapped a label on whatever this is between us, but I’m hers in every sense of the word.
“Julian,” she sighs. “Was this a bad idea?”
Yes.
“No. Of course not. I just… Why did you name your character Bryan?”
The question takes her by surprise, warranting a few moments to reply. “I was writing my way out of a break up. My agent said to keep it in, so I did. I didn’t expect Delivery of Fate to take off. Who the fuck wants to read about a woman who cheats on her boss with his brother?” She shakes her head. “Can we please just get through this?”
“No, baby, I can’t do this. Not with you here.”
Her eyes wide, she glances again at my switchboard. “Julian—”
“It’s not on,” I assure her. “Come here.” Becca freezes, her eyes wide. I roll my office chair so I’m facing her. Her breathing is heavy in anticipation. I cup her cheek and kiss her. “I’m sorry,” I mutter against her lips before pulling back. “I don’t want you here when I have to get into character, calling Anna ‘kitten’ or when I have to say things from his point of view… as him.”
“You’re not him,” she says softly. “The story is fiction.”
“When he tells her that she’s his good girl and tells her to drop to her knees? That was fiction?”
Becca wets her lips. “He never said that to me. Tonight, I’ll go through the notes and highlight things that were real. I promise that wasn’t one of them; he never called me that. So, if you want me on my knees for you, you better not be walking on eggshells when you ask.”
My cock twitches in my pants. I ask for a compromise. “I won’t record in front of you, but I’ll do edits with you.”
“One condition.”
“Ok?” I eye her suspiciously.
“During the on-page sex scenes, will you do them live?”
“Fuck no,” I blurt out.
Becca leans in to press a soft kiss to my lips. It’s sweet but also sexy as fuck. She knows she has me wrapped around her finger. “Those scenes were completely fictional,” she insists. “When you’re moaning, I want it to be real.”
“I’ll be moaning someone else’s name. I have no desire to call out ‘Anna’ as I come.” She reaches between my legs and rubs her palm across my length, making me groan.
“Fuck it. Get over here.” I pull her onto me and she giggles in response. I don’t care if she dry humps me, I need to feel her body against mine. I want to claim her, own her.
“I doubt you’ll get any work done this way. I should go.” She pretends to get up but I keep her firmly rooted in place, gripping her hips. “Fine, I guess I’ll stay. Hot, broody man requires my assistance. Who am I to say no?”
“I sure as hell could never say no to you. What do you want, my Becca? Ask and it’s yours.”
“That’s a lot of power to give someone.” Becca bites her lip and grinds herself onto me.
“I’ll make you a deal.” I kiss her neck, lightly nipping as I pull away. She leans into my touch, making it incredibly difficult to focus on, well, anything. “You get your sexy ass out of here. I’ll record a few chapters, and when I’m finished, I’ll take you out on the date I was promised.”
“Counter offer.” She takes off her shirt, revealing a lacy dark green bra. “You touch me. Right now.”
“Oh, my sweet Becca, if I touched you, we wouldn’t leave here until well after hours. I’m not going to start something I can’t finish.” I pull down the top of her bra and take one of her nipples into my mouth; teasing, licking, sucking. She leans into me, arching her back. “Tasting you, on the other hand, is something else entirely.”
My phone vibrates on the table. I’m normally careful to keep it on silent but have been too distracted by her to keep with routine. It breaks the sexy spell she has me under and I reluctantly pull the cups of her bra back up and over her perfect fucking tits.
“You’re mine, my Becca. The minute I’m done recording, I intend to pick up exactly where I left off.”
She exhales slowly. “Alright, my Julian. You win, but it better be worth the wait.”
I grip the front of her neck and pull her lips to mine. She moans into my mouth as I own this piece of her.
Mine.
“Baby, you have no idea what I’m capable of. In six hours, I’m coming by your place. I want you naked and spread wide for me on your bed so I can feast on you until you can’t take it anymore. So help me, if that sweet old woman knocks on your door asking you to keep it down, I’ll have her rethinking the name of that cat of hers.”
