Gift Wrapped in Tentacles, page 10
I offered a suggestion. “Is it out of battery?”
“Oh, maybe. How long has it been?”
“Only a day.”
He looked round, taking in the glittering Christmas tree and the fireplace and the snow that was still falling outside, barely visible in the dusk.
“It felt like a very long day.”
I could only agree. It had been the longest, worst day.
Except for the part where Erik was on my lap, his lithe body grinding down on me and his lips fused to mine.
I shifted uncomfortably.
Sonny was fiddling with his phone, turning it over and over in his hands. He was building up to something, and I was afraid to find out what.
Suddenly he said, “Were you with me? While I was asleep? I was dreaming—”
“Of tentacles,” I finished.
“Oh. Yeah.”
It sounded like I’d been wrong, and he’d been about to say something else. Damn, I should have let him finish.
“So were you?” he asked.
“Was I what?”
“With me. All day.”
“Some of the time. One of us was with you all afternoon.”
He sat in silence, staring at the empty fireplace, and I was desperate to know what he was thinking.
It was unnatural for Sonny to stay so quiet. He was always the one who talked and he expressed himself so freely, it was a marvel to watch.
At last, I couldn’t stand the silence any longer and I said, “You know staring at that fireplace won’t make a fire appear.”
“Huh? Oh yeah. Right.”
That wasn’t an explanation for how he was feeling, though, so I had to ask again. Only, this time I had to ask an actual question and not just hope that Sonny would tell me what I wanted to know because Sonny always did.
Look at me, learning not to cut myself off and to express myself properly. Erik would be proud.
The thought of Erik made me squirm again, and I blurted out, “So why do you want to know? Whether we were with you or not?”
“I just wondered, that’s all. Apparently I was talking out loud. I wasn’t sure whether I’d said it or only thought it.”
I swallowed. I knew where this was going.
This was the time to actually admit what I wanted and put myself out there, just like Erik had said.
Sonny twisted round on the couch to face me, his big eyes staring at me out of his pale face, his fair hair still sticking up a little from where he’d towel-dried it.
“I think I told you that I love you.”
“Yes.”
It wasn’t what I meant to say. I meant to say so much more, but my words somehow got tangled up in my mouth and that was the only word that came out.
Sonny kept eye contact with me, as though he could read my very soul if he looked hard enough.
“You haven’t asked if I meant it.”
“I know you mean it. You’ve told me before.”
His eyes went wide. “You mean all those times when I told you I love you, you actually heard me?”
I nodded.
“You pretended you didn’t hear.”
“I—”
It was hard to explain why. I hadn’t worked out what I’d been thinking and feeling at the time, so trying to justify it now seemed an impossible task. But what Erik had said stuck with me. I’d made that choice, and it wasn’t my choice to make. It was ours. Mine and Sonny’s together.
Ironic, since we’d made every choice together for years anyway. Why had I made this one alone?
Sonny stood quickly, which meant he didn’t see me take a breath, ready to talk.
“It’s okay,” he said. “I get it. You didn’t feel the same and you didn’t want to reject me.”
He was walking further away from me, but the cottage was so small that there wasn’t anywhere to go. Two paces and he was at the tree, and it took up most of the spare floor space.
He kept his back to me, reaching out a hand to fiddle with one of the decorations, twisting it round on its ribbon.
“Sonny,” I said. I wished that was all I needed to say. It was the only thing I could articulate. Why was I so bad at words?
He took a deep breath and I saw it in the way his shoulders rose and he stood up tall. He turned back to me, a big, fake smile plastered on his face.
“It’s just one of those things,” he said. “I think Erik is great. You deserve someone like that.”
His voice cracked at the end of that sentence, and I was too confused to answer. I struggled up out of the couch, glad it was high and upright, with a high arm rest to give me leverage.
“What does this have to do with Erik?”
Even as I asked, I tried not to remember the taste of his sweet mouth. I was sure I was blushing, which didn’t help. Why was I so hot for both of them? I needed to choose one of them properly or I’d lose both of them.
Sonny’s smile slipped a bit before he caught it and hauled it back onto his face. “I know you like him. I can hear it in your voice. And you’ve been dating him.”
“No, I haven’t.”
“No?” Sonny raised an arch eyebrow, and I hated that I could feel my face heating up. Sure enough, Sonny said, “You took him on a date.”
“I—”
That smile faltered again and I couldn’t bear it. I stepped closer, almost pressing myself right up against him. Sonny was slim, but as tall as I was, and I could look him straight in the eyes.
“Sonny, I love you. I’ve always loved you.”
That adorable little frown came back. “But you pretended not to hear me. Why didn’t you say?”
“Because I’m an idiot.”
“Shut up, no you’re not.”
“Because I-I thought you’d move on. I assumed you’d find someone better.”
Apparently once I actually worked up the courage to talk, my mouth ran away with me. I could almost hear the words coming out of my mouth but I had no conscious way of processing them. I described to Sonny one of the blades that had been slicing into my heart for months.
“I saw your socials. All those photos of you on nights out, surrounded by beautiful, healthy men.”
I could picture them now, each one a fresh wound to my heart that took far too long to heal.
That frown came back, as though Sonny couldn’t even remember all those clubs and bars he’d been to, while I’d been obsessing about each image.
“Those were office nights out. None of them were dates, unlike the date you took Erik on.”
“Sonny,” I said, and reached for him. My fingers twisted into the soft material of his borrowed hoodie, and I held on, terrified he’d run from me and I wouldn’t be able to follow, too slow to catch him. “I love you.”
If I’d hoped, somewhere in the back of my mind, that Sonny would fall into my arms, I was wrong. He starred at me, reading my expression, for what felt like an age.
Then he nodded. “Yeah, you do, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“You love Erik too, though.”
I hesitated.
Shit, why did I do that?
All I had to do was say no and then Sonny would kiss me and be mine. I could be with him all the way, as fully as I’d always wanted.
But I’d hesitated too long.
Sonny pulled back and I was forced to let go of his hoodie.
“I’ll go and help Erik change those sheets.” He pulled away and walked into the bedroom, closing the door behind him.
Chapter 19
Erik
Those two men! I was tempted to walk up to them and knock their heads together.
I’d been hiding in the bedroom with the excuse of changing the bedding for fresh linen, and I’d heard every word. Even without shifter hearing, I’d probably have picked up most of it.
The shifter hearing helped, though, although I wasn’t sure I was glad of it at that moment.
Declan and Sonny had both admitted that they loved each other.
My heart had squeezed inside my chest, as though invisible tentacles had wrapped around it to choke the life out of it. And yet they hadn’t done anything about it.
Sonny had come into the bedroom and helped me finish making the bed and that had been it.
If Declan had told me that he loved me, I’d have been on him in a moment, taking his mouth again because feeling Declan’s lips under mine and his tongue in my mouth had been absolute perfection and I really, really wanted to come all over him. I’d been desperate to mark him up for weeks, my animal wanting to mark our territory.
Except, even as I thought it, I knew I was lying to myself.
I’d had my chance to get off with Declan, and I’d stopped us before we’d finished.
And I’d heard what Sonny said. Declan loved me.
He hadn’t denied it.
So maybe it had been true. Declan wanted me. I longed to hold him close, to wind myself around him possessively, but I wasn’t doing that. I was standing in the kitchen cooking while the washing machine whirred and shook beside me, drowning out the soft Christmas music that was on in the other room.
It was the only sound, because Declan and Sonny were sitting in silence.
My octopus rippled uneasily inside me, unhappy, but I couldn’t work out what it wanted me to do. I could go into the other room, throw Declan across my shoulder and carry him into the bedroom and ravish him. That wasn’t a bad idea.
I didn’t do it, though. Why?
Sonny’s image floated into my mind. Declan loved him. He was beautiful. And, in the grip of his fever, he’d begged me to hold him tighter with all my arms.
God, this was so confusing. Maybe I needed someone to knock my head with theirs, too.
I stewed on it while I cooked and, when I carried the dinner into the other room, Sonny shuffled over and dragged Declan into the middle of the couch so there was room for me to squeeze onto the end beside Declan.
We were pressed against each other, elbows knocking and finding it difficult to eat, but we were all too hungry to care. As soon as Sonny finished his dinner, he started talking. He kept up a relentless monologue for an hour, sounding so cheerful and bright that I nearly believed it.
Declan looked devastated, though, looking at Sonny with such longing and hurt in his eyes that I couldn’t mistake it. The chatter wasn’t as cheerful as he wanted me to think. It was a distraction.
Eventually, I couldn’t take the look in Declan’s eyes any longer and I suggested a film. Grabbing the crocheted blanket back off the bed, I spread it over our legs and we settled in to watch Die Hard. After the usual argument about whether it counted as a Christmas film, of course.
Was that a Christmas tree in the background? Then it was a Christmas film.
It didn’t matter for long because not half-way through, Sonny’s head lolled onto Declan’s shoulder and he fell asleep. I could see his reflection in the window, with the dark lake blending into the black sky outside, and I spent more time watching their faces than I did the film.
As the credits rolled and Michael Kamen crooned, ‘let it snow, let it snow, let it snow’, Sonny half-woke.
His voice was delightfully sleepy. “Did Hans Gruber fall from Nakatomi Tower?”
“Yeah.”
“Then I guess it’s Christmas now.”
I couldn’t stop a little smile tugging at my lips. “You do like Die Hard.”
He huffed and closed his eyes again. “It’s not a Christmas film.”
Declan spoke for the first time in hours. “He likes it, he just likes to argue about it every year. It’s tradition.”
“Like hanging the stockings from the mantle,” mumbled Sonny.
I stood, slipping out from the small space on the sofa where my body had been pressed against Declan’s, warm and cosy.
“I guess it’s bed time.”
Sonny’s eyelids fluttered as though he were trying to wake up but couldn’t do it. “Sorry. I don’t know why I’m so tired. I slept for like a whole day.”
My voice was firm. “Your body is recovering.”
I glanced at Declan as I said it and he gave a slight nod. I’d said the same thing to him often enough.
Sonny gave nothing more than a muffled, “Umph,” and then his breathing was evening out, deep and regular, sucked below the surface of sleep against his will.
“I can wait until he wakes up.”
I had no doubt Declan would sit there all night if Sonny wanted to use him as a pillow, but there was no need for that. I leaned down and asked, “Sonny? Can I lift you up?”
He made a noise which might have been a yes or might have been a snore. I smiled.
“I’m going to carry you to bed.”
Declan had already seen me carry Sonny easily, so there wasn’t any reason to hide my strength. I lifted Sonny and tried not to make it look too easy so Declan would never know that I could have lifted him, too, even with his bulkier frame.
Placing Sonny on the cool, clean sheets, I went to back away but Sonny frowned in his sleep and his eyelids fluttered again, fighting to swim back to wakefulness.
“Stay with me.”
Declan came into the bedroom, drawn to us, and I walked round the bed to his side. “Are you ready for bed?”
“Yeah. I just need to, um—”
He gestured at his prosthetic.
“Let me help.”
He sat on the edge of the bed and slid out of his jeans then between us we removed his prosthetic and the linings, and propped it in the corner of the room. I made sure the crutch was by the bed so he could reach it easily and then Declan manoeuvred himself into the bed beside Sonny.
I stood for a moment, looking down at the two of them together. Sonny’s fair hair glowed almost white in the strange snow-light from the window and Declan’s dark hair fanned across the pillow, slightly too long so it curled at the back of his neck. They were both so handsome, it hurt me to look at them.
I’d thought Sonny was asleep as my eyes searched his face but he suddenly wriggled across the bed to the very edge, and his hand reached out to pat the bed beside him, looking for Declan.
Once he had Declan’s arm, he tugged.
Declan looked openly relieved that Sonny hadn’t been moving away from him and he inched closer to the man he loved.
“Room for you,” said Sonny, though his words weren’t clear as his face was pressed into Declan’s shoulder again.
His eyes were closed.
I looked at the bed.
There was space on the end for me to squeeze in, just like before.
“I can sleep on the couch.”
I really didn’t want to sleep on the couch.
“Can’t throw you out of your own bed,” said Sonny, and Declan turned his head to look at me in the moonlight. I couldn’t resist and I slipped in beside them, burrowing under the blankets to absorb as much of their body heat as I could and listening to their breathing evening out.
Chapter 20
Sonny
When I woke, it took me a moment to sort out my dreams from reality. I was lying in bed with Declan, pressed right up against him, absorbing his body heat. That was nice.
The slithering of soft tentacles over my skin had vanished, meaning that was probably part of the dream. I have no idea why it always felt so nice. I’d never had any kind of tentacle kink before but, since they’d wrapped around me under that icy water, my mind had latched onto them and I wanted them everywhere.
I shifted my hips to get some friction on my hard dick. I’d woken – or thought I’d woken – several times in the night, always pressed against Declan’s hard chest, a soft tentacle wound around my thigh.
God, I was so hard.
I shifted position, realising I’d been pressed against Declan and it was his hip I was using to get the friction I needed on my dick.
Raising my head a little, I looked up at Declan’s face and met his eyes. He was awake, looking much more alert than me, meaning he’d been awake for a while. I was still wading out of the lapping tides of sleep.
He held my eyes and his arm tightened around me. I realised then that I’d been pressed right against him, my head on his chest, his arm around my shoulder. I didn’t remember when we’d got ourselves into that position, but I liked it.
I also realised that Declan had felt me rubbing against him. There was no mistaking the hardness of my dick pressing into his hip.
He hadn’t stopped me.
Because he loved me.
Declan loved me.
It didn’t feel the way I’d imagined it would. I’d thought I’d burst into a million glittery pieces of confetti so I looked like a human-sized snow-globe that had just been shaken.
“Sonny,” said Declan quietly. His voice had that slightly rusty quality he had first thing in the morning, that tone I’d always been hot for because I loved waking up with Declan and I always privately fantasised about whether he would sound like that when he was about to come.
My hips rolled forward again of their own volition, rubbing against Declan’s hot body.
Instead of cringing away, Declan’s hold on me tightened and he pulled me closer into his side. His eyes never left mine and I began to grind rhythmically against his hip.
“Need to get off,” I said.
He nodded and his breath hitched. I watched, fascinated, as his pupils dilated and I ground myself against him, chasing my pleasure.
On the other side of Declan, the mattress dipped and Erik moved. The blankets were pushed back and he was going to get out of bed.
I reached out a hand, as quickly as I could, grabbing his arm.
He looked round at me. “I’ll leave you two alone.”
“Don’t tell me you don’t want to get off like this, too.”
The hesitation was just long enough for me to know for sure that he did want to get off on Declan. I rolled my hips, my eyes nearly fluttered closed but I managed to keep eye contact with Erik, holding his gaze. “Declan feels so good.”
Beneath me, Declan panted and his arm reached up to Erik’s shoulder, encouraging him back down.
