Make a Wish, page 3
Her gaze darts from me to Gavin and back again as she reaches for Ella. Which is the exact moment I realize that Ella’s diaper was unable to manage its job and I’m now wearing its contents.
“If you can let Lynn know I’ll be right back to get the party started, I just need to change out of this,” I say to Gavin as I keep Ella on my hip to conceal the problem.
“I can take care of it.” London tries to take her from me again.
“It’s not contained,” I mutter.
“Of course I can do that,” Gavin replies.
“There are refreshments and food in the adult tent. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
“Sure. Okay.”
I rush toward the hotel, a now-fussy Ella bumping on my hip.
“Do you want me to stay behind and deal with the party or with Ella?” London calls after me.
“You can come with me!” I shout over my shoulder.
She catches up to me. “Are you sure I shouldn’t stay behind?”
“They’ll be fine for a couple of minutes. I might need to change. What the hell did you feed Ella this morning?”
“I think Jackson gave her broccoli last night.”
“She smells like rotten eggs.”
It isn’t until we’re in the office that I can assess the damage to my fairy outfit. There’s no salvaging it. It needs to be washed, probably several times before it’s wearable again. I have to change, and my only option is one of the princess dresses that’s from the eighties, with huge poofy sleeves that are nearly as big as my head. I wrangle my way into it as London finishes up changing Ella’s diaper.
“Who was that man you were talking to? He looked familiar.”
“That’s because he is. That’s Gavin Rhodes. I used to nanny for his daughter, Peyton.”
Recognition dawns, and her expression shifts from shock to disquiet. She moves behind me to tie the giant bow at the back of my dress. “Wait. What? Why is he here?”
“For the party.” I scratch my left arm, then my right. “I gotta get back out there.”
She grabs both of my hands and stretches them out. “Are you having a reaction? These look like hives.”
I glance down at my arms and notice that what I originally thought were bugs bites are indeed forming into welts that now cover my forearms and are working their way up my biceps.
“Sugar beets! I need an antihistamine.”
For a handful of months after Gavin left, I would spontaneously break out into hives. Often when I thought about what almost transpired in his kitchen.
London puts Ella in her playpen and rushes to the bathroom. I give Ella a kiss and promise I’ll be back soon as London returns with the bottle of antihistamines. She shakes one into my palm, and I toss it in my mouth, swallowing it without water. Which is a terrible idea, because it gets stuck in my dry throat. She hands me a glass of water, and I chug it on the way back through the hotel foyer.
“Are you going to be okay out there?” London asks, voice laced with concern.
“Yeah.” I nod a bunch of times and tip my head back so I can get the last few drips of water from the glass.
“Are you sure? I mean, you haven’t broken out in hives in years.”
“It’s a two-hour party. I’ll survive it.”
“Message if you need me, okay?”
I nod and rush back out to the party. I find Gavin in the middle of the kids, wearing an ill-fitting tutu around his waist, pretending to grant wishes. It shouldn’t be a surprise. When I used to be Peyton’s nanny, he would often wear her cute tutu skirts on his head to make her laugh.
“Thanks for holding down the fort. I can take it from here, if you want,” I say as I make my way through the throng of excited kids toward him.
“I feel like you’re the more appealing fairy godmother.” He passes me his wand and gives me a somewhat-chagrined smile. Then he joins the other adults in the adult tent, minus the tutu.
I spend the next two hours immersed in the excitement of eight- to eleven-year-olds. Their enthusiasm helps take the edge off my anxiety. I try to split my time among the kids evenly, helping where I’m needed, and focusing on Claire, the birthday girl. But it’s hard not to steal glances at Peyton every so often.
We decorate edible wands and paint individual photo frames, play games in the field, and finally sit down for pizza, subs, salad, cake, and presents. At the end of the party, each child gets their own gift bag, complete with their edible wand, and a picture of the party tucked into their frame. They’re happy, tired kids and it’s been a great afternoon, although bittersweet knowing it’s the last time I get to do this.
Gavin hangs back with Peyton while the rest of the parents gather their children and head out. “You sure haven’t lost your knack with kids. That was amazing.”
Peyton holds onto her dad’s arm, a wide smile on her face. “That was the best birthday party ever! Can we have my next birthday here? And costumes like this one?”
“We have half a year before your birthday, and you’re already looking to plan your party?” Gavin asks with an amused smile.
Peyton props her fist on her hip. “It’s already July, next is Halloween, then Thanksgiving, and then Christmas, and then I’ll be ten!”
“Wow! I can’t believe you’re already nine years old! The last time I saw you, I could still carry you on my hip, just like my niece, Ella!” I fight a cringe and the urge to scratch my arm. The last thing I need to do is bring up the past. “Anyway, if you’re serious about the party, I’m sure we could plan something fun.” I probably shouldn’t be promising things like this when this is supposed to be my last birthday party, but I can beg for forgiveness later.
“Can we, please, Dad?” She clings to Gavin’s arm and bounces up and down.
“I’m sure we can work something out.”
Peyton’s bright smile turns down at the corners. “I don’t have a lot of friends here yet, though.”
“You’ll make lots of new friends as soon as the school year starts, kiddo,” Gavin reassures her.
Peyton nods and looks to me. “Dad says I make friends wherever I go. I met three new friends today, and they’re all going to the same school as me and Claire. Hopefully by the time my birthday comes, I’ll have even more friends to invite.”
“You sound like my older sister Avery. She’s forever making new friends too.”
“I miss my old friends, but sometimes we have to embrace change and go on new adventures. Right, Dad?” It sounds like something her dad has repeated in order to help make the transition to her new home easier.
“That’s right, kiddo.” He ruffles her hair as she brings her hand to her mouth, yawning widely. “I should probably get you home, huh?”
“I might fall asleep in the car,” she warns.
“That’s okay. It’s been a busy day.” He gives her shoulder a squeeze.
He turns her in the direction of the parking lot, and she slips out from under his arm and grabs my hand. I guess I’m walking them out. She tugs me along as she regales me with all of her birthday party ideas.
When we reach his SUV, Peyton looks up at her dad. “Can we come back to Spark House again soon?” She turns back to me. “Maybe you can come over and see my new house. My bedroom is decorated with fairies and princesses. We could make magic cookie wands again!”
“Oh, uh, well, maybe we should get the rest of the house unpacked before we go inviting guests over.” Gavin gives me an apologetic, chagrined smile.
Peyton frowns. “But you said it’s going to take forever to unpack, and I don’t want to wait forever before I see Harley again.” Leave it to kids to be painfully unaware of the tension in the room.
“If we’re hosting your birthday party here, I’ll definitely get to see you before forever happens,” I tell Peyton, trying to let Gavin off the hook without feeling like I’m being personally snubbed.
Her lips twist and pull to the side. “I guess that’s true.”
Peyton climbs into the back seat and Gavin closes the door. He gives me another wry, uncertain smile. “I’m sorry about putting you on the spot like that.”
I wave off the comment. “No apology necessary. It’s great to see Peyton again.”
He nods and then pauses for a beat before he says, “Uh … I don’t know what your schedule is like, but maybe if you have some free time, Peyton and I could take you out for lunch? We could catch up?”
I’m not sure if he’s being genuine or he feels compelled to ask because of Peyton, but her comment about not seeing me for forever prevents me from turning him down. “Uh, sure. That would be nice.” And embarrassing. I’ll definitely need to take an antihistamine if it actually happens.
“Great.” He smiles and his shoulders drop, as though he was worried I would say no. “We can exchange numbers? I’ll call you later and we can figure out a day that works?”
“Absolutely.” I pull out my phone and discover that I still have Gavin’s contact, although there are no messages attached to it, which makes sense since I’ve upgraded my phone a few times since he moved to Boulder. I still remember the last message he sent more than seven years ago, thanking me for all I’d done and letting me know that he’d direct deposited my last paycheck into my account. I’d responded with keep in touch. And a week later I’d messaged, asking how the move had gone, but I’d never gotten a reply. I hadn’t wanted to push, so I’d stepped back and moved on with my life. I’d tried to bury the guilt along with the memories, but clearly the grave I dug wasn’t deep enough, since the day he announced they were moving away lives rent-free in my head.
I swallow down my fears as I send him a message and his phone pings. Part of me would love the opportunity to finally apologize the way I wanted to back then, but the other part of me worries that dredging up the past like this is only going to cause those old wounds to reopen.
He checks the screen without opening the message. “Looks like I still have your contact. I’ll be in touch soon.” Gavin opens the driver’s side door, but pauses before he gets inside. “It’s great to see you again, Harley.”
“You too, Gavin. Both of you.”
He smiles and drops into the driver’s seat. I wait until he’s pulling down the driveway toward the road before I return to Spark House.
I’m barely in the door before my sisters are on me. “I need to know everything. Tell me what’s going on. London said a hot dad you used to nanny for was here. Sorry I didn’t come out to help, but I was getting things organized for the upcoming proposal with the Mills brothers.” Avery is pretty much on top of me as she follows me down the hall to the office.
“Do you remember Gavin and Peyton?” I ask.
Avery drops into her chair and pats her belly—she’s pregnant and finally starting to show. She’s also eating like it’s her second job. There’s a platter on top of her desk that’s been picked over. “Not really, no.”
“He lost his wife during childbirth,” London supplies. “Harley nannied for Peyton for a year and a half.”
“Oh!” Avery’s eyes light up. “I remember them. They moved, didn’t they? Isn’t that why you stopped working for them?”
“Yeah, that’s right.” And Peyton was the last infant I took care of. In fact, I only had one charge after that, and he was older, already school-age, so it was only before- and after-school care, and I didn’t live in the house with the family. They ended up moving because the father was in the navy and was being stationed overseas. After that, I started working for Spark House.
“Is he still hot?” Avery asks.
“Yup,” London chimes in, letting the P pop with affirmation.
“So? What’s the deal? Was he just here for the party?”
“I guess they moved back to town. He asked me if I wanted to go for lunch with him and Peyton.”
London frowns. “What did you say to that?”
“I said sure. He was probably only being nice, so I doubt he’ll call.” And honestly, I’m on the fence as to whether I want him to. I had a lot of great memories with Peyton and Gavin, but the last ones overshadow everything else. And they inspired a lot of personal changes. I put college on hold, stopped working with kids and their families, and joined Spark House with my sisters. I didn’t trust myself not to let something like that derail my life again.
* * *
Two hours later I walk through the door to my apartment and find my boyfriend, Chad, sitting on the living room couch, a controller in one hand and his phone in the other. We’ve been dating for a few months, and I met him through a mutual friend. “Awesome. You’re home. Everyone’s already at the Firkin, you ready to go?”
“I should probably change first.”
He hits the pause button on his controller and drags his gaze away from the TV. His eyes widen. “Why are you dressed for Halloween?”
“I’m a fairy godmother. I had a birthday party for a ten-year-old today, and it was princess-themed.” I drop my purse on the counter and kick off my shoes. They’re flats, but it’s still nice to set my toes free. I prefer sandals to any other footwear. Unfortunately, Colorado winters are not conducive to open-toed shoes.
“Ah. That makes sense. Too bad there isn’t a theme park around here. I feel like you would have loved being one of those princesses.” His nose wrinkles as I cross the room. “Are you … sparkling?”
I glance down at my arms. The hives are pretty much gone at this point, thank God. “Probably. We had glitter crafts today.”
He holds out a hand before I can get close enough to bend down and kiss him hello. “You need to shower, babe. That glitter business gets all over everything. The last time you had a birthday party, I couldn’t get it out of my hair for weeks and the guys at work gave me shit for it.”
I suppress an eye roll. “You won’t have to worry about glitter after today.”
“Oh? Well, that’s good news. Right?” He unpauses his game.
“I guess.”
“Glitter isn’t really something you want to wear unless you’re a unicorn.” He glances up and then back down at the TV. “Why no more glitter after today?”
“Because this is the last birthday party I’ll be hosting for kids. I told you that last week, remember?”
“Right. Yeah. I forgot. Those things kind of seem like glorified babysitting, anyway.” His phone pings with a message and he glances briefly at the screen. “That’s Allen asking when we’re gonna be there.”
“Give me fifteen and I’ll be ready to go.” I leave him in the living room and stop in my bedroom to grab a change of clothes before I hit the bathroom so I can wash away the birthday party, and hopefully some of the sadness that goes with it.
Three
LUNCH DATE FOR THREE
HARLEY
Two days later I get a message from Gavin saying that Peyton has been hounding him about seeing me again and asks if I would be up for lunch with the two of them. I wait half an hour before texting back, to see if I break out in hives again. When I don’t, I agree. I meet them at Chuck E. Cheese on a Monday afternoon, which is always slower at Spark House since most of the biggest events take place on weekends. I’m dressed in Chuck E. Cheese-appropriate wear—a T-shirt, jeans, and flats.
Gavin and Peyton are already there when I arrive. I stand outside for a moment, take a few deep breaths, and tamp down the familiar embarrassment. It happens every single time I think about Gavin and Peyton, so it makes sense that seeing them magnifies it. I’m hoping that with repeated exposure, it will lessen, not worsen like an anaphylactic allergy. I took a non-drowsy antihistamine in preparation for this event. Just in case the hives decided to come back.
“You can handle this. You can have lunch with a nine-year-old and your former boss,” I mutter as I push through the doors.
As soon as Peyton sees me, she slides out of the booth and rushes over. She grabs my hand and pulls me over to the table where Gavin is sitting with a glass of soda cupped between his palms. “Can we play games now that Harley is here?” Peyton is bouncing like she’s been mainlining sugar.
“I think we should let Harley have a seat first and order a drink, don’t you?” Gavin arches a brow and gives me a wry smile.
“Oh.” Peyton’s face falls for a second, before she smiles up at me. “I’m really excited. I’ve never been to Chuck E. Cheese ’cause Granny says there’s too many germs and the food isn’t healthy.” She lets go of my hand and climbs into the booth across from her dad, then pats the seat beside her. “Let’s decide what we’re going to eat! Then we can play some games!”
“Okay. I like the sound of that.” I take the spot beside Peyton, which means she and I are seated across from Gavin, who takes up most of the booth with his broad shoulders. Which I need to stop admiring.
“What do you like to drink? You can have soda, or juice, or even chocolate milk. Dad lets me have chocolate milk when we go to restaurants, or Sprite, but not anything with lots of caffeine because Dad says I already have enough energy and I don’t need the kind they keep in colas.”
I grin and glance at Gavin who seems amused by this explanation.
“It is sort of a special treat, isn’t it?” I agree.
“It’s like that movie Monster Truck, where they give the monster gas from the gas station instead of the stuff straight from the ground. It has all kinds of other stuff in it, and it gives the monster too much energy,” Gavin explains. “And then what happens?”
“The monster has a sugar crash. Have you ever seen that movie?”
“I sure have! It’s one of my favorites.”
Peyton’s eyes light up. “Mine too! I love princess movies, but that movie is so fun, and the monster is so cute. I used to watch it sometimes when I went to Granny’s after school.”
“Did you spend a lot of time with your granny?” I ask as we scan the lunch options. Peyton has a child’s menu on a place mat that she can color.
“Every school day,” Peyton tells me. “Except for Friday. Dad would always take me for pizza and chocolate milk on Fridays. I like that it’s Monday and I get my favorite foods and I get to see you and we get to play all these games!” She motions excitedly to the open floor where the carnival-style games fill the room.
