The Sins of Our Fathers, page 4
“I have to go.”
“No.” His arms tightened around me again. “Stay for dinner.” He kissed me right near my ear and whispered, “Stay the night.”
My knees buckled, and Ike caught me with an arm around my waist. “I can’t. I have to go home for dinner. House rules, and school just started. I don’t want to mess things up already and I need to hug my dog.”
“When are you sleeping over?”
I laughed. “I don’t know.”
“You don’t think your mom still hates me, do you?”
“No. It’s just normal mother-daughter stuff now. I think.”
He kissed me again. It would have to hold me over until the next time I got to see him. “Be careful going home. Let me know as soon as you get there.”
“I will.”
“I love you, Ever.”
“I know.” I walked toward the parking lot and disappeared on the third floor of the garage before taking off into the air. Nothing could heal me like Ike.
“MOM, CAN I sleep in Ike’s dorm with him tonight?”
Solid.
Nothing.
Not even a blink of the eye. My mother had missed her calling as an interrogator of some kind.
“I know it’s asking a lot.” I really wasn’t sure what to say. I wasn’t technically an adult. I could tell her how much I loved him, but she’d already heard that a hundred times.
“I know I can’t control who you see or where you are every minute of the day,” she said. I stayed silent on my spot on the edge of her bed. “And I know you two love each other.”
“But?”
“But I want him to be able to experience college for himself, and I don’t want you to miss out on your senior year. There are a lot of adventures you’ll have this year that will never occur again, and they’re all with Gwen and Ruby and Maya. If you spend every weekend at Rowan, I’m afraid someday you’ll regret it.”
“I won’t.” The only thing I regretted was having to go into the high school and not see Ike in front of me in physics, on the stairs, or playing football every Friday night under the stadium lights. I was spoiled. He was close enough to get my hands on every day, but I wanted a whole night with him. To lay next to him and not worry about an alarm going off and having to fly home.
“How about we make a deal?” This sounded promising. She was thinking and not just saying no. Everything was negotiable. At least according to Ms. Garrison, my economics teacher. “You can stay the night once each month. From Saturday morning until Sunday afternoon as long as your homework is done. I won’t ask any questions. I just ask that you answer my calls if I need you and that you’re safe.”
This was not a bad starting offer. She’d already exceeded my expectations for this conversation. I thought it was going to be a much more direct, “No,” and then swift movement to the next topic.
My mother sat next to me on her bed. She smiled when she looked into my eyes. “And at least two weekends a month, you spend with your friends. Not just Maya and Gwen and Ruby, either. I mean Mick, Sam, and all the rest of the crew that texts you guys all the time. Go out. Stay in. Do homework, whatever, but I want at least two weekends a month to be completely Ike-free.”
I inhaled as I considered her request. I should have known the second part would be painful when the initial offer was generous. I would not see him for a month to sleep with him. I exhaled and asked, “The other weekend I can see him?”
“Yes, but not overnight. Not every day of the weekend.”
“Here or at Rowan?”
“Yes.” She seemed to be equally as uncomfortable with the compromise, which according to Ms. Garrison, meant it was a good one. Neither party should feel they’d completely won or lost. “And you need to go on birth control.”
My eyebrows raised at this. I’m sure my eyes were the size of half dollars. “I thought that was all up to the universe.”
“When your little witch is born, yes, but other babies may come. Ike for instance.”
“I guess I’ll know for sure when Gwen, Ruby, and Maya are pregnant at the same time.”
“That will probably be your first clue.”
“I haven’t had sex with Ike.”
I threw that at her as she was lost in thought. It wasn’t fair, but when the courage comes to say those words, you toss them out.
“Oh. Well, that’s great.” She took my hand in hers. We were having a moment, which made us both laugh. Moments weren’t typical between us. I couldn’t remember if they were a thing before my father died, but after his death, everything was a moment and few were recognized. We survived by just stringing moments together until they became days, weeks, and finally years. “There’s no rush. I’m putting you on some type of birth control anyway.”
“Okay. That’s good. Then maybe we won’t have to talk about this again.”
“Ever, you can tell me anything. Even if I’m going to hate hearing it.”
“I know. I’m just not sure I can if I hate saying it.”
“Do it anyway.” She stood and exhaled. Conversation done. We could go back to our lives, and I could take out a calendar and plan out the nights for the rest of the year that Ike and I could be alone. He was going to have to find out if his roommate was planning on any Saturdays away. Just the thought of multiple hours of privacy with him infiltrated every other thought I tried to keep in my head.
I fell asleep and the nightmares continued. Ike was lying on the side of the road. He was hurt, but whenever I got close to him, he moved. Sometimes a few feet, others times several yards. He hopped away, bloodied and bruised, and I kept running to save him. I could see his broken body, but I couldn’t touch him. He would just keep moving until finally, he jumped and then never reappeared.
I sat up in bed awake, opened my eyes, and realized I was still in Auburn. We were all safe. Including Ike. I fell back against my pillow and settled myself until I heard Ruby roll over in her bed. She was always the first one up. Gwen and Maya would soon follow.
What are you guys doing after school? I asked with my head still on my pillow. Carl was still snuggled under the covers against my legs.
I’m supposed to go to Sam’s.
I’m going to the mall with my mother. I need new boots. Gwen thought and rolled over toward us.
I’m doing nothing. I’m sure my mother will want me to cook something. Maya was awake, too.
Billy wants me to meet him in a clearing behind the woods between Auburn and Woodstown. Somewhere called Stoners Lane.
Billy, the cat killer who says he knows our secrets? Maya asked.
Go. I want to hear what he has to say, Ruby thought. We’ll be there.
They would drop everything. As usual. I would do the same for them. I’d already filled them in on Billy’s afterschool activities. As much as I could say aloud without feeling sick. The look on his face, his expressions, both of utter disregard for the cat’s life and then enjoyment at its death would stay with me forever.
“If he smiles or seems to move from being completely disconnected to suddenly involved, strike. Before he does.”
“Why would he want to hurt you?” Gwen asked.
“I don’t know. He’s always had some issue with me.” I thought back over my and Billy’s history. “I think at first, he wanted to be friends, but I don’t think he’s capable.”
School dragged, and by lunch, my stomach was starting to knot. I should have told Billy the meeting was off. I’d go home to my mother and tell her everything about him. She’d do something to make being near him this year not so disturbing. I wasn’t sure what.
“Thanks for agreeing to meet me. I think it will be a fresh start,” Billy said as he let me leave the cafeteria before him. It was what a normal person might say when they’d gotten off on the wrong foot upon first meeting, but he wasn’t a normal person—he was a cat killer.
We’d only been in school a week and new bruises showed up on Billy’s face and arms. That day, he had been pulled out of English and sent to the office. Later, I heard he was being interviewed by a woman who wore a navy dress and carried a huge canvas tote filled with files. Nothing seemed to come of any of the attention Billy received except maybe a new injury. He needed help. Regardless of what I’d seen, that was true.
The four of us flew from the school to Stoners Lane. Gwen, Maya, and Ruby fell back when we reached Seven Stars. I felt them move to circle Billy, who was already standing alone in the middle of the space. I showed myself at the lane leading back from the road. A large tree blocked it. There was no vehicle anywhere in sight, but the other side of the clearing led to Kings Highway. Billy could have parked somewhere on that side.
I made my way toward him with Ruby chirping in my head about not turning my back on him. She was going to move in closer as I approached.
“You weren’t afraid to come?” he asked. I didn’t answer. I wouldn’t let him lead this conversation down whatever path he’d planned. I was there to figure out what he wanted and how I could spend the rest of my life without him being in it. Billy nodded at my lack of response. “What are you afraid of, Ever?” He stepped closer to me, and I moved back.
“Why did you want to meet me?” His lips pursed. He wanted to toy with me, and I wanted to go home and eat dinner. “Our mothers knew each other.”
“My mother knew of your father, too.”
He lifted his hand to his chin, considering the information I’d just shared. It was more than the recognition of our parents’ acquaintance. I’d just told him that I’d checked into his past, which meant I knew all about the tragedy that left him in his uncle’s care.
He reached down into his backpack. His movements were swift. I responded by shifting my weight to my back foot. The aggressive stance wasn’t lost on Billy. The corners of his mouth tilted up, obviously pleased by my reaction. He pulled out a faded purple book with a leather cord wrapped around the center of it.
“This was my mother’s.” The book had to have been twenty years old. “It details how she was able to fly, disappear, and move things with her mind.” My eyes widened, but I didn’t say anything. My instinct was to launch into the air and get far away from him. My heart raced at my family’s secret being spoken by the monster in front of me. The air swirled around us as Maya and Gwen moved in closer to Ruby, who was only a few inches behind me. “My father thought she was crazy. My mother showed him her powers once after they were married, and he beat her for it.”
I cringed and closed my eyes.
“Look at me, Ever.” I still didn’t understand why I was there. What was it that Billy wanted from me? “Violence comes easy to the men of my family. It is their power.”
“It isn’t right.”
“There was someone my mother was more afraid of than my father.”
The Virago, I thought. Maybe his mother had written about them, too. I’d want that information to be shared as much as my craft with whatever loved one read my secret book.
Billy watched me as if he were listening to my thoughts. “There was a man who my mother wrote about. He threatened her because of her powers. Someone other than my father.” If it was a man, he wasn’t part of the Virago. “She thought he might convince my father to kill her.”
“That’s impossible.”
“Is it? A man that could punch his pregnant wife until her tooth went through her lip. Would it be so unthinkable that he could be used to kill her?”
“Billy, you need to talk to someone. An adult that can help you. This life. Your history. It doesn’t have to be repeated in you.”
“Shut up, Ever!” He held the book against his head.
I stared at the book. So little of our craft was written down. The fear that our secret would be shared with someone who could destroy us was a real part of our history. The Salem witches had no powers, and they were burned at the stake. Our ancestors watched in horror as the small-minded townsfolk murdered innocent women.
“She never mentioned her gifts again, but he caught her appearing in their backyard after a rare flight. That was the night he shot her. He thought she was insane, but when he told his defense attorney all of this, my father was the only one who seemed crazy. The rest of the town thought my mother was a sweet and loving wife and new mother.”
“I’m sure she was,” was all I added to the conversation. “I don’t understand why you’re telling me all of this.”
“Because I think you’re like my mother.”
“I’m not.” There was no need to add another word to the explanation. Billy could share as much of his family as he’d like. He could take out an ad in the yearbook and write down everything he’d read in his mother’s journal, but he wasn’t including me in any of it. My mother, and all the mothers before her, would kill me themselves before I divulged anything about the craft to this disturbed being.
“I want you . . .” He stared at the sky above us. “And your coven to give me the same powers you possess. I want you to fulfill the promise of my mother’s hopes.” He’d lost his mind. It was hard to reconcile the sad figure in front of me begging for power with the Billy I’d met last year.
“I’m willing to help you, but that isn’t the kind of power you need. Counseling, police intervention, planning for your future away from your uncle should be your only concern. I don’t have magical powers, Billy. I don’t know what your mom wrote, or what she thought she could do, but that truth died with her. I have nothing to do with it.”
“You’re selfish.” Billy dropped the book into his bag and lunged at me. Ruby flew from my right and threw him twenty feet away onto the ground without a word. Billy stood, brushed the dirt off his thighs, and slowly smiled. “What was that?” he asked as he sauntered closer to me.
“What was what?” I was done with this meeting, or whatever it was.
“I thought we were alone.”
“You’re about to be. I’m leaving.”
“And how are you getting home, Ever? Walking? Or will you fly?”
“Billy, I think what happened to your mother is tragic and sad, and you’ve certainly been put in more than one situation that was not of your own doing, but you’re creating one now that you don’t want to start. I want you to leave me alone.”
“And if I don’t?”
“Why wouldn’t you? A girl asked you to leave her alone? Why is the word ‘no’ not good enough for you?”
“Because of all the girls I’ve ever met in this godforsaken town, you’re the only one I believe is like my mother.” If he really knew, then he’d suspect Ruby, Maya, and Gwen were witches, too. As if reading my mind, he added, “I know all about your galère.” He kicked a rock toward the trees. “You’re the only one who’s kind and fearless. That’s the way she was.”
“Honor your mother, Billy. Seek help. You’re young.”
“Nothing will ever stop us, if we’re together. I can force you to be with me.”
I laughed a little.
“You’ll lose someone, the way my mother was taken from me.”
I stood tall in Billy’s face. Anger grinded from my teeth, down my throat, and rooted me to the earth. “Now you sound like your father. Where he is will be a gift if you don’t stay away from me.”
His shoulders shook with a laugh that made no sound and showed no emotion on his face. “You and your family have made enough enemies around here that I won’t have to lift a finger.”
“You’re crazy.”
My words caught him like a right hook to the face. It was the same claim his father had made against his mother. “Watch me do crazy.” He disappeared, taking his backpack with him as the wind swept across my face.
Don’t say a word, I thought. I wasn’t sure how far he’d gone or if he could fly. I walked to the woods, ran behind a tree, and disappeared. If Billy were watching, I wouldn’t let him see my power. I wondered if there were any limitations on his.
We flew back to Auburn in silence. We landed and stepped into the safety of our yard. Facing each other and the enormity of Billy’s knowledge and his sick disposition.
“Gwen,” Maya said. Her eyes were fixed on Gwen and enshrouded in fear. “What is that?”
“His mother’s diary. I want to read it.”
I stopped breathing. The reality of what she’d stolen set in. Billy would come for it.
WE FOLLOWED GWEN with the journal in her hands up the stairs. She sat on the floor in the center of our attic and opened it.
“Read it aloud,” Ruby demanded.
Gwen leafed through several pages and then returned to the beginning. She ran her hand over the thick paper and concentrated while she ignored Ruby.
“Gwen?” I asked.
“When I first opened it, it was a normal journal. It described her wedding, her pregnancy, but . . .”
“But what?” Gwen handed the book over to Ruby who stared at the same page Gwen had.
“The page changes. It’s black with silver writing and says, ‘if you’re able to read this, then you know. You’re part of our secret sisterhood, or maybe you’ve been born with the power, but you never knew it. My baby will be here any day, and I’m hoping it’s a she to carry on the craft because I’m alone.”
She flipped through the pages reading off tidbits from each one. They explained flying, disappearing, moving things, and historical details about witchcraft.
“I could have used this,” Gwen said. “I’m still trying to figure out everything.”
“You’re doing great,” Maya said.
Ruby passed the book to me. I turned the pages until the word Virago stood out. “My mother’s coven was decimated by the Virago. She died before I could walk, let alone fly. She left me one letter that was written similarly to this book. Only I could read it. To everyone else, it was a love letter to her newborn daughter, but to me, it was a witch’s doctrine. I could fly, I could disappear, I could move things with my mind, and I knew I was alone because I could cast spells. I’m the only one left, and this baby will be a coven of one, too. How incredibly sad. Covens are meant to share all the elements of our universe. We are air witches, but I’ve never felt the power described to me that would come with knowing my Earth witch.”
