Drown in You, page 25
“Speaking of Sienna, she stopped by to see me.”
I hit Pause on the video game and toss the controller. “She came by?”
She must’ve made sure to visit when I wasn’t here. The reality makes my gut twist.
“You know, I never talked to you about how guilty I felt over your father's death.”
The change in subject throws me. “Why would you feel guilty? He had a heart attack. Nothing you could’ve done.”
Ma wasn’t even there. I was the one who was with him when it happened. The one who held his hand while he took his final breath. I’m the only one who should feel guilty.
She bites her lip when it starts to quiver, wringing her hands. “He asked me to go with you two to practice.” She clears her throat, the memory still painful. “I didn’t want to go because I was stressed with work and the house was a mess. I wanted some time alone, so I stayed home. I spent so much time after that feeling guilty. Like I could’ve done something to save him if I’d been there.”
I knew Ma mourned my pops for a long time after his death. She still does. But I had no idea she was harboring the same guilt that I’ve been hanging onto for years. “You couldn’t have done anything.”
She manages a small smile. “I know. And you need to learn that too. With your father, and with Chloe.”
I swing my feet onto the floor, ducking my head in my hands. She and Sienna have both been trying to knock sense into me for a long time. I might’ve been with Pop when he died, but that doesn’t mean there was anything I could’ve done for him. I might’ve been at that party with Chloe, but I didn’t give her that drink or push her in the pool.
Even if I wish things could be different, this is how they are. Now I have to pick up the pieces and deal with it. Figure out a way to be okay without them. What I can’t figure out is how to be okay without Sienna. Not while she’s still within reach.
“I don’t know what to do about Sienna.” I swallow around the lump in my throat. “I couldn’t open up to her. Be honest with her. Now she wants nothing to do with me. I ruined her life.”
I can’t meet my mother’s eyes while I speak the words. Too afraid to see the disappointment in them. Still too afraid.
Sienna would’ve been better off if she’d never met me. If I’d never put that mask on and sent her that message all those years ago.
“If you love her, you find her and own up to your mistakes. Be fully honest with her now.”
I was. And she ran from me. “What if that’s not enough?”
Ma pulls my hands from my face, forcing me to meet her gaze. Gentle and caring, like I’m not a disappointment. Like despite everything, she’s still grateful to have me for a son. “If it’s real love, it’s worth the risk of finding out.”
“Keep it up, Valentine!” Coach shouts across the ice.
Knox snatches up the puck I blocked from the net after Damien’s shot. He fakes left, then smacks the puck to my right shoulder.
I leap and make contact with a thud, sending it flying in the opposite direction.
Even though we’re opponents during today’s practice, Knox flashes me a proud smile. “Killing it today, Valentine!”
I haven’t played this well in weeks, and it pisses me off that I wasted so much time killing myself in the gym and during practice only to perform like shit when it really mattered.
Sienna was right—I needed balance. Working out too hard was holding me back, keeping me from being my best on the ice. She knew it’d catch up to me eventually. I’d break.
My heart isn’t in the game, though. Not with thoughts of Sienna circling through my mind on an endless loop.
Damien’s lip curls into a sneer when he launches a shot at my net. I block it just in time. “Didn’t think you were a quitter, Valentine.”
“What makes you think I’m a quitter?”
He ignores the shouts of his teammates as they dart to the opposite end of the rink. “Haven’t gone after your girl.”
Knox’s skates slice through the ice. Beneath his helmet, he flashes me a wicked grin. “Better go get her before somebody else does.”
“Yeah, no-sisters rule doesn’t apply anymore.” Damien skates off before I can swing my stick at him, Knox following.
I’m no fucking quitter, and I’m definitely not quitting on Sienna. I’ll tell her she was right, about everything. When I show up with flowers and chocolates and jewelry and a teddy bear and any other goddamn thing I can think of to tell her I’m sorry. To convince her to give me another chance, even if I don’t deserve it. I’ll earn it. I’ll prove to her I’m worth it, because she’s been proving that to me since we met.
After practice, I’m winning her back.
Chapter 31
Sienna
“You really didn’t have to do this, Juliet.” Mom grabs another box to slide into my father’s hands. I can’t believe we’re moving his stuff back into our apartment. They already have plans to move into a house outside of Wakefield.
Juliet shrugs, grabbing a box. Impossibly, she’s in a dark shirt, but I’m sure her tiny shorts offer some relief in the heat. “I had nothing better to do.”
A gleam of sunshine reflecting off metal temporarily blinds me until I make out the red car whizzing past.
A red Cadillac.
Juliet flips him off. Marcus hasn’t been arrested yet, but he will be.
For the first time, seeing him doesn’t make my stomach plummet to my feet. I’m not scared of him anymore. I won’t let him have that control over me. I’m the one who deserves justice now.
Inside, my parents tease and hug each other. Dad plants a kiss on her cheek before he follows me out the door, and it’s like they haven’t spent any time apart. They’re right back to where they were, before everything went wrong.
I’m still not totally convinced everything won’t go wrong again. But I’m holding onto hope that whatever the future holds for them, they can get through it together.
When it’s just the two of us, I hand Dad a box from his car. “I talked to Deb. She’s doing really well.”
Even though he didn’t love her the way he loves Mom, Dad still cares about Deb and he wouldn’t want to hurt her. Relief softens his features. “I’m happy to hear that. I’m sorry for the mess I’ve made of our lives, Sienna. Especially yours. I really am.”
“It’s okay. You can stop apologizing now.” I stack another box in his hands. “You and Mom seem really happy.”
He turns back to the house and grins when Mom steps out of the door. “I’m so grateful your mother was willing to give me a second chance. I’ve been wallowing over losing her for ten years, and I’ll be thankful every single morning for a second chance with both of you.”
As soon as he heads for the house, I scramble for my phone.
Ten years. Dad spent ten years pining after Mom, and she spent ten years trying to find the love she shared with him.
I don’t want to spend the next ten years pining after Luke.
My phone rings three times before a bright voice answers. “Sienna!” We haven’t been friends for long, but I already miss Violet so much. “How are you? How’s the move?”
“Not bad. Sweaty.”
“When is your last final? We should meet up before you leave for summer break.”
“Tomorrow. I’m heading back this afternoon and I was wondering if you could tell me Luke’s hockey schedule.”
“Practice is happening right now, actually. Do you want me to have him call you when it’s over?”
“Actually, could you just make sure he doesn’t leave until I can get there?”
“Um, yes!” She squeals like she’s already anticipating a grand, romantic gesture. “I’ll see you soon!”
Luke held back the truth for so long out of fear. With his past, he’s been terrified of hurting me. He knew confessing would do exactly that. He didn’t want to lose me the way he lost his dad and Chloe.
But I did the same thing. I held back the truth about what happened with Marcus. I didn’t tell him about the incident or all the threatening texts for weeks.
Fear has been holding us both back. That’s why I resisted him for so long. Afraid of what other people would say, what they would think if they found out about us. Afraid of what he would do to my heart if he got ahold of it.
But what I was most afraid of has already happened. Everyone knows about us; he already broke my heart.
Yet none of that compares to my fear of spending the rest of my life without him. Never getting to touch or hold him again. Never getting to hear his laugh or watch his eyes crinkle when he smiles. Never getting to hear the voice that sends a shiver down my spine.
My parents forgave each other for the hurt they caused. They overcame the fear that their relationship might end badly again and now they’re happier than they’ve ever been. I can’t let fear guide me anymore.
I race into the house and nearly run into Juliet. “Hey, Mom? Do you mind if Juliet and I head back to Diamond early?”
“No problem, sweetie!” Mom calls from her bedroom. “Drive safe!”
“Thank god,” Juliet mutters as she follows me out. “They were definitely about to screw.”
“Ew, don’t say shit like that about my parents.”
“Fine. They were about to make love.”
I punch her arm. Juliet slides into the passenger seat and fixes her messy ponytail. “Why are we heading back early?”
“Because I need your help with something.”
By the time we reach campus, it’s already dark. Between traffic and running out of gas and a pit stop so Juliet could pee, we delayed our time by over an hour. The building that houses the rink is dim, not a single light shining from inside, and the parking lot is vacant.
My heart sinks. I missed him. I’m too late. “Shit.”
“What the hell? I set up your phone to record your disgustingly adorable reunion and he already left?” Juliet points to my phone that she hooked up to the dashboard.
“That was actually sweet of you. I guess you do have at least one romantic bone in your body.”
She sighs. “I can’t believe I’m involved in this.”
“Let’s just go to their house.” But the words have barely left my mouth when a giant hockey player in gray sweatpants opens the door and steps outside.
His smile makes my heart leap up to my throat.
Behind him, the door swings open again, and a girl with cropped brown hair peeks out. Violet beams and waves. “Sienna! Juliet!”
“I’ll go with Violet so you can make out with your man.” Juliet hits Record on my phone before she leaves.
I wait until my best friend has disappeared inside with Violet before I grab the gift, take a deep breath, and open the door.
Luke tracks every step I take toward him, keeping the gift behind my back. Eventually, he can’t stand still anymore and heads right for me, footsteps echoing across the pavement.
My heart thunders against my ribcage when he stops inches from me, his hand reaching to caress my cheek. At the first brush of skin on skin, my knees turn to jelly. I want to throw myself at him. I’ve missed him so much.
“You came back.” His voice is raw, splitting my heart in two.
“You’re still here.”
“Violet threatened me with genital mutilation if I left.” Despite his glassy eyes, a small smile pulls at his lips.
Heart in my throat, I reveal the camera from behind my back. “When you were still the man behind the mask, you told me you bought a disposable camera and called me a bad influence.” I can’t help the smile that plays on my lips at the memory. “So, since yours got ruined, I got you another one. For all the new photos we’ll take together.”
Luke takes the camera from me with a grin. “Thank you. This is the best gift I’ve ever gotten.”
“It was the best gift I’ve ever gotten too. Because you gave it to me.”
His hand threads into my hair, urging me closer. “Everything you do is better than I deserve.”
I shake my head. My turn to caress his cheek, to hold him. He leans into my touch, eyes fluttering shut like he’s been to war for a decade and he’s finally home. “That’s not true. You’re amazing, and you deserve someone who treats you that way.”
He shakes his head. “I ruined your life.”
“What are you talking about?”
“The sex tape—”
“That wasn’t your fault. We were both there that night. We both wanted it. Marcus is the one who filmed us and posted that video. Illegally.”
Silence falls between us for a few beats. Luke examines the camera tenderly, like it’s made of the rarest diamond. “What made you change your mind?”
“I thought it was a weakness to keep forgiving people who hurt me.” I swallow, a lump forming in my throat. “But I realized it’s a strength. I realized my parents spent the past decade in love with each other but too afraid to take the leap. Too afraid to try again. I don’t want to spend that much of my life without you when we can be together now. We’ve both lied, we’ve both made mistakes, but what matters is that we learn from them. What matters is that we love each other, and nothing will ever change that. Like you said . . . we’re meant to be.”
He tucks the camera in his pocket and scoops me up until I’m happily in his arms again. “I really fucking missed you.”
“I missed you. I couldn’t think about anything else.”
Luke yanks my mouth to his. His tongue sweeps past my lips, and when he moans into my mouth, I melt.
I’ve missed him so fucking much. Not just in the past few days—though that was a constant ache—but I missed the friend he was to me for so many years. The masked man I confided in about my worst fears, biggest insecurities, darkest secrets. He’s been with me at my lowest, even if he was miles away, and he’s never wavered.
When he finally lets me break the kiss, I blurt, “I love you.”
“Thank fuck,” he murmurs against my lips. “I love you too.”
We kiss again, absolute bliss washing over me like a wave. I never want to be without him again. Just like my parents got their second chance, this is ours. And I’m not screwing it up this time.
Behind me, tires roar up the pavement. Headlights beam on us. Luke squints past me at the car that squeals to a stop.
Over my shoulder, I spot a group of guys in the dark interior of a red Cadillac.
My stomach drops.
No. No, no, no. It can’t be him. It can’t—
When the doors swing open, Stephen steps out of the passenger side and Kade from the back. Marcus from behind the wheel.
Fuck.
Marcus followed me here after spotting me in Wakefield. And this time, he brought back up.
Chapter 32
Luke
“You should’ve stayed out of my town, bitch. You’re not welcome there anymore.” Marcus saunters forward with dead eyes. Clearly the leader of this pack of nutsacks.
He’s back. Daring to show his face again after the Devils restrained themselves from beating him to a pulp.
I set Sienna on her feet and nudge her behind me. If they think they’re getting anywhere near her, they’re out of their fucking minds.
These are the guys who attacked her back home. Who left bruises all over her body. Who sent her running into my arms.
I’ll be dead before I let these assholes lay a finger on her again.
“You should’ve stayed out of my town.” Sienna’s normally soft soprano voice is hard, echoing back from the brick wall behind us. Even the assholes in front of us are surprised by her defiance. “I was trying to protect my friend. I’m sorry for what happened to you, Marcus. I really am. But I can’t undo what’s been done, and getting revenge on me won’t do that either.”
Silence settles around us. For a few moments, the three of them are too stunned to retort.
My chest swells with pride. That’s my girl.
His mouth twists into a snarl, a pissed-off bear ready to charge. “You’re trying to get me thrown behind bars. But it’s not going to work. You should be the one behind bars.”
“You literally posted revenge porn of us. You’re not innocent in any of this.”
Marcus takes a step forward, and I move between them, concealing Sienna behind me. “You even think about touching her and that limp will be the least of your problems. I’ll rip your eyes from your fucking skull.”
I wish I could’ve saved my pops. I wish I could’ve protected Chloe. Protected Violet.
I didn’t.
But I won’t make the same mistake with Sienna. I told her nothing would happen to her with me around, and that’s a promise I’ll keep until I’m in my grave.
All three of the assholes set their glares on me. “Three against one.” I shrug. “Seems like a fair fight.”
As soon as Marcus swings at me, I bark at Sienna to run and dodge his strike. The dude definitely fights like a fuckin’ football player. Throwing his weight around like a tough guy and never making contact with anything. No one fights like hockey players.
The scrawniest guy with the greasy hair manages to scrape a knuckle across my arm, so I throw him to the ground. All the air leaves his lungs like a gasping fish before he groans.
I’d stomp him for good measure, but the other two are already swinging. I manage to dodge Marcus, but the last guy’s fist connects with my jaw and fuck. My vision blurs for a second, eyes watering.
A terrified scream pierces the air.
Fuck. Sienna. She’s still fucking out here.
I whirl. Marcus is heading right for her, but she’s not running inside. Probably knows she wouldn’t make it far before he’d get ahold of her.
Why the fuck didn’t she run when I told her to?
But I know why. She couldn’t bear to leave me behind.
She screams her head off, and while I’m distracted, the guy on the ground gets his revenge and sweeps my feet out from under me.
