Ahead of her, Amanda suddenly pulled Charlie to a halt and swung around to face her. “I know you’ve been wrestling with a lot on your mind since Nash died, but it’s time to get your head out of the sand. We could have lost Charlie today just because you weren’t paying enough attention and wanted to be alone. Life and death decisions are being made, and if you persist in walking around ignoring everything, you could get hurt, or worse, cause someone else to get hurt.”

  Again. While Amanda didn’t say it, Savannah heard it loud and clear. She was responsible for Nash’s death, and just as Amanda said, they could have lost Charlie today because of her—this sweet horse who didn’t hurt anyone. Just like Nash, the sweet guy who’d only wanted to help everyone survive. “I’m sorry. I would never purposely hurt him.”

  “I know that, Savannah. I do,” Amanda said, stroking the horse’s side. “But it being an accident doesn’t change anything.”

  Savannah felt tears on her cheeks. “I’m sorry,” she whispered again.

  “Look, we’re all under a lot of stress, and sometimes we want to get away and forget about our responsibilities, but that doesn’t make them disappear. Even if he hadn’t broken his neck like I said, what if Charlie had stumbled and broken his leg? I’d have had to put him down. Or what if he’d knocked you against a rock or down a slope and broken your leg?”

  “Well then, you’d just have to put me down,” Savannah bit out. “At least I’d be put out of my misery.” Savannah swiped at the angry tears on her cheeks.

  Amanda stepped towards her, concern all over her face. “Savannah, that’s not what I meant.”

  Savannah knew that, in her heart, but it didn’t matter. Amanda was right—this could all have gone so horribly wrong, and it would have been her fault all over again. Without giving Amanda a chance to say anything more, she turned and ran, going nowhere in particular. She couldn’t go back to camp. The horses were more useful than she was. Amanda didn’t have to say the words for it to be true. She herself may not have done it, but it was her fault Nash was dead and she’d almost gotten Charlie killed. She ran blindly, down toward the stream and along its bank, finally stopping when she couldn’t see through the tears anymore.

  She collapsed to the damp ground there, burying her face in her hands. The pain and anguish that had plagued her since Nash had died was erupting in loud sobs that she couldn’t hold back anymore. She struggled to draw a breath, pain radiating through her body. Life was not okay. The world was not okay.

  “Savannah!” she heard Malachi’s voice coming through the trees.

  She wanted to crawl under the prickly bushes she’d found herself next to. The last thing she wanted was to have Malachi find her. She looked a mess.

  “Go away,” she croaked out when he came crashing in next to her.

  He was beside her anyway, breathing hard. “Are you okay?” he gasped out.

  “I’m fine. Just leave me alone. I’m toxic!” she wailed.

  He dropped to his knees beside her, putting his hand on her back and gently rubbing. “You’re not toxic.”

  “I am. I got Nash killed and I almost killed Charlie.”

  Malachi looked at her. “Savannah, I told you, you can’t blame yourself for what happened to Nash. He chose to go off on his own, and you certainly didn’t do anything to Charlie. We found him and he’s fine; all he did was go for a run and give the rest of us some exercise. Probably figured we’d been sitting still in the clearing long enough.” He smirked a bit at that, but Savannah couldn’t muster a smile. Nothing was okay. Not for her.

  “Malachi, I didn’t fit in anywhere before the EMP and I don’t fit in now. I have nothing to offer the group. Face it—I’m dead weight,” she said, her heart twisting and cramping as she struggled to breathe.

  “I’ll stay here with you while you calm down,” he replied simply, settling down beside her on a rock.

  “No. Go back.”

  “I’m not going to leave you out here by yourself,” he said.

  She wiped her face with her hands. Knowing how stubborn he could be, she took a few deep breaths to try and slow her breathing. And then, as if it were carried on the stream, a sudden sense of calm washed over her. It was like, in that moment, the proverbial clouds parted, and she could see clearly. She knew what to do. It brought her peace and a little fear, but the fear would ease.

  Big decisions were always scary; that’s what her dad always said. She’d work through the fear and everything would be okay.

  “Okay,” she said.

  “You’ll come back with me, or you want me to stay with you?” Malachi asked with confusion.

  “I’ll go back with you,” she said, getting to her feet and wiping the dirt from her pants.

  “Oh, okay, great,” he said, getting up and quickly falling into step beside her.

  She didn’t speak as they moved up through the trees. Her mind was already planning. She knew what she had to do.

  Her dad was standing off to the edge of their camp when they returned, his arm around Amanda’s shoulders. They both had their backs to everyone. The sight was difficult to see. Her dad was more worried about Amanda than he was her. Savannah looked away, glancing around the faces of the others sitting around the campfire. The way they looked at her, with annoyance and irritation… it hurt to see how useless they thought she was.

  “Hey, you,” Ennis said, coming up to her and giving her a big hug. “Are you okay? You just ran off,” he said.

  “I’m fine,” she snapped, a little too abruptly.

  “Why don’t you have a seat by the fire?” he suggested softly. “Have something to eat. You’ve hardly eaten anything these last few days.”

  “I’m not hungry. Besides, it’s better that someone who doesn’t make so many mistakes should get the food instead of me.” Savannah felt Malachi trade looks with her uncle and come to some silent agreement—he walked over to his mother, and she cringed. Even Malachi thought she was a useless child.

  “Savannah, we all make mistakes.” Her uncle reached out to her, but Savannah didn’t think she could handle another pity hug.

  “I’m tired and I think I want to go to sleep,” she said flatly, stepping away from him.

  “It’s early,” Ennis protested.

  She shrugged. “I was up early.”

  After a moment, Ennis nodded and let her go. She walked behind the lean-to—something she’d been prone to doing lately. The space out of sight of the others allowed her to be with the group, but still separate. It was the only place she felt alone.

  The others stayed up late into the night, sitting by the fire and talking. She needed to get her rest, and did her best to calm her brain. Despite her best attempt to sleep, though, she couldn’t get her mind to stop running. It was nonstop. Thoughts of the past, before the world as she’d known it had been stolen away. Then Nash had died. So many people had died. She had to get away; that was the only way to shed the pain that seemed to be following her.

  Darkness fell. Slowly, one by one, everyone crawled into their own little spots and settled in. She didn’t know who was on watch, but didn’t care. And while Sarah was most certainly awake, she’d still be absorbed in the laptop. They wouldn’t see her leave. That was another benefit to crashing behind the lean-to. When she heard no more voices, she sat up, waiting to see if anyone noticed. No one said anything. She grabbed the backpack she had carefully positioned under a bush behind the shelter. No one had noticed, or if they had, they hadn’t mentioned it.

  She crawled on her hands and knees in a straight line, keeping the lean-to behind her as a shield from sight. The dark night was perfect for her grand escape. Little rocks and sticks poked her palms and her knees, causing her to wince, but she never stopped moving. When she felt confident she was far enough away to be seen, she got to her feet and moved cautiously around to the other side of the clearing, coming to where the horses were tethered and being sure to keep the horses between her and the camp.

  Not hearing any noises from the camp, she quickly tacked up Raven. Charlie was Amanda’s baby, and while the woman would miss Raven, Savannah thought she’d understand and just be glad that Savannah herself was gone. She wouldn’t make another mistake around horses, and Amanda would know that once she thought about it. Plus, Amanda would still have Charlie.

  But by the time they found that Raven and her tack were gone, Savannah would be long gone with her.

  She took a deep breath, feeling a huge weight lift from her shoulders. She knew being alone was dangerous, but it felt right. She needed some time alone to work things out in her head. She couldn’t take any more looks of sympathy, pity, or outright anger.

  She needed to be free.

  12

  Austin’s eyes popped open when the sun was barely breaking over the trees. He felt like something was wrong. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but it was there. He rolled his head to the left and saw Amanda’s sleeping face. Then he scanned the area. He could see the others all still sleeping, some of them under the trees, others partially under the shelter. Sarah was passed out, as well, just inside the lean-to with the laptop hugged against her chest.

  He sat up, rubbed his eyes, and saw Ennis sitting up, leaning against the trunk of a tall pine. His brother looked over at him and gave him a small wave.

  “Anyone else up?” Austin asked as he approached.

  “Nope. Probably not even five yet.”

  He got to his feet, doing a quick roll call in his mind as he looked around. He moved to check behind the lean-to where Savannah had gone to bed last night. He could see the pile of pine needles where she’d slept, but she wasn’t there. He assumed she must have already gotten up and moved into the trees for some private time.

  He went back around and sat next to Ennis. “So, an island?” he started.

  Ennis chuckled. “It’s an option. Look, I don’t want to fight over this. I know you don’t like Wendell, but he did bring up a valid point.”

  “Ennis, we could do something to end this whole thing. Don’t you want to have a normal life again? Don’t you want to have a house with running water and electricity? Drive a car, surf the internet, go to a restaurant?” he asked.

  Ennis let out a long sigh. “I do, but, Austin, you have to be realistic. Do you honestly believe we have a chance of ever getting into the computer center or into a missile silo?”

  “I do,” Gretchen said, sitting up.

  Austin’s mouth dropped open. The previous night had been nothing but arguing about what to do; their group had broken up in the afternoon, saying they’d all think about it, but squabbles had broken up from then on until late into the night. Gretchen especially had been staunchly against the idea. She’d been one of the loudest voices pushing for a peaceful existence far away from society.

  “You do? What changed your mind?” Austin asked.

  “I did. God did,” Tonya answered, propping herself up on a shoulder. “If we have the opportunity, we’ll try to help you make your plan work.”

  “We prayed on it, Austin, and after giving it to God, we listened to our hearts. We are against violence, but we are all for helping our fellow man. We have the tools—most of them, anyway. We have to try and help our brothers and sisters. If we can save lives, even if it costs us our own, we’re ready for it,” Gretchen said.

  Austin looked over to Amanda, who was still lying down but had her eyes open. With Gretchen and Tonya on board, Austin was convinced that the rest would follow suit. They did all share the same God. Maybe Wendell would disagree, but so what if he did?

  Austin blew out a loud breath. “Great! Sarah thought she was getting somewhere last night—let’s see if she did.”

  He’d been thinking about what the soldier had said continuously since they’d gotten back, and he couldn’t shake the idea that if they didn’t stop this madness before that date, it would be too late for them, for the U.S.—possibly the world.

  The doctor sat up, and he could see her taking a minute to shake herself awake. Then, she looked around. “What’s the verdict?” she asked. “Are you all cutting and running for Oregon?”

  Austin grinned despite himself, trading a look with Amanda before he looked back to the doctor. “No. You have to find those locations for us so we can move against the NWO. Any chance—”

  He didn’t get a chance to finish.

  “I narrowed it down to three locations. That’s as good as we’re going to get if we want to have time to make it work.”

  Austin’s heart stopped for a moment. “You mean it? You found what we need?”

  She didn’t even bother responding—apparently, his pushing her had put a fire under her that had resolved into an all new resolve. “We need to move now, before they figure out that we’ve figured out the codes; I don’t think they’ll be able to tell that I’ve been searching through data on this laptop or that I know what I do, but I don’t want to wait and find out.”

  Austin nodded, moving over to stand closer even as the rest of the group gathered up, only Wendell hanging back. “Okay, what do we do? Where do we go?” he asked.

  Sarah’s lips pursed, and then she began explaining. “There are three locations where the computer centers might be located. There could be others, but after reading a lot of the information Callum included, I believe they’re in southern Idaho and that these are our best bets. All of them are within a few hundred miles of where we are.”

  “So, we leave today, and start with the closest location first,” Austin said, no further thought needed. “One by one, and then on to Cheyenne.” Because, very simply, it was time to move. Waiting only gave the NWO more time to dig in. Every day they waited was a day the U.S. government could be working to restore the power. If they turned on the lights, so to speak, the NWO would fire their missiles and undo everything that had been done. If that happened, it would likely be the last attempt to restore order for a long time. The country would be bound in darkness until the NWO decided when it was time to turn on the lights, and then, if it happened, the country would most certainly be at their mercy.

  He looked over at Ennis, and could see his brother still wasn’t totally on board. His eyes drifted over to Wendell next, who looked downright murderous—clearly not happy to see his plan to separate Ennis from the others failing. That alone gave Austin a great deal of satisfaction and renewed energy.

  “That alone won’t work,” Sarah replied, bringing his focus straight back to her. “Not one by one.”

  “Excuse me?” Amanda asked from behind him.

  “We need to get to these locations fast. Are you listening to yourself? Thinking of distance? We can’t get to all three fast enough, assuming we won’t get lucky to strike gold on our first try, and then get all the way back to Cheyenne to launch the missiles. It makes more sense to divide and conquer,” she announced.

  “What? But we have to stay together!” Malachi spoke up.

  Austin wasn’t exactly fond of the idea, either, but he understood the woman’s reasoning now that he thought about. They needed to move fast with this countdown in play, and with that distance…. It would take days, possibly a week, to reach the location of the first potential center, and then another week or possibly longer to backtrack and head in the opposite direction, even assuming they got lucky on the first center having what they needed.

  “I think we need to consider the idea of splitting up,” Austin said, his heart already sinking at the thought. Because he knew what made sense, again—him and Amanda leading separate groups.

  “How are we going to divide?” Ennis asked.

  Sarah cleared her throat. “We’ll need three groups. One heading to each computer center.”

  Austin grimaced. Two groups stretched them, but three groups seemed extremely risky. In his mind, though, he was already putting Savannah with him. That was what mattered most. As much as he wanted Amanda to be with him, as well, it didn’t make sense. She was a strong leader and would be able to help keep a group alive. They’d find each other again after everything was through.

  “Two groups,” Amanda said. “Three groups is setting us up to fail, and by fail, I mean be killed.”

  Austin looked at her. “What?”

  “I understand the urgency to find the center, but three groups is too risky. Are four people expected to go up against an army of soldiers?” she asked.

  Austin looked to Sarah. She didn’t look happy to have her idea argued against, but couldn’t seem to bring herself to disagree.

  “I’m with Amanda on this,” Ennis said.

  That was a rarity. Ennis and Wendell were always on the other side of anything when it came to Amanda. Amanda’s eyes met his. She was waiting for him to back her up.

  “She’s right,” Austin conceded quietly.

  Malachi was sitting on the ground next to his mom, his eyes roaming the group. “Where’s Savannah?” he asked.

  Austin glanced around, only now realizing she hadn’t come back from her bathroom break. He got to his feet and moved through the circle the group had created for the conversation. “Savannah!” he called out, looking behind the lean-to. “Savannah!” he shouted again, cupping his hands around his mouth as he stared into the trees.

  Malachi was beside him a moment later. “Was she here earlier?” he asked, his voice full of dread.

  Austin looked down at the teen, remembering he’d assumed his daughter must have gone just into the trees to be by herself—just as she’d done so often lately. He hadn’t even considered… “I haven’t seen her.”

  Malachi groaned. “She took off.”

  Austin froze, staring at the boy beside him. “What do you mean she took off?” he asked, dread washing over him.

  Malachi was shaking his head, his hands fisted by his sides. “I should have known something was wrong. She came back too easy last night. I should have known she would do this!”

  Austin took a deep breath. “Do what? What do you mean she came back too easy?”

 

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