“That is not what I said.”

  “You didn’t have to. I can see it in your eyes. You don’t want to chase down missile silos. You’re ready for normal!”

  Ennis sighed. “We’re all ready for normal, Wendell.”

  Wendell climbed to his feet, staring at Ennis. “You’re ready for it now. So am I. So are a lot of them. We don’t have to do this. Let’s get out of here; we’ll head for Oregon like we talked about. Forget the NWO. People will follow you. You know how to fish, hunt, live off the land and all that. They’ll follow you!” he said excitedly.

  “Follow me to what, Wendell? Don’t you see that’s the problem? There’s nowhere to go. Oregon doesn’t solve the problem. We can’t have ‘normal’ with the NWO still out there!”

  “Okay, so we go to Oregon and we don’t stop. We head to the west coast and we get a boat. We sail away to an island. There are islands everywhere! We can set up far away from everyone else. We can grow and plant and do all that stuff we’ve been talking about,” he gushed, grinning like a fool.

  Ennis found himself listening, though, letting himself believe it was an option. However temporarily. Then… “I can’t,” he muttered.

  “You can’t or you won’t because you don’t want to upset your brother?” Wendell shot back.

  “It isn’t that. We’ve come a long way together. He’s my brother.”

  “Your brother is going to get us all killed for nothing! You’re the older brother. You should be the one making the decisions,” he insisted, crouching down beside the firepit as if to convince him.

  “Yeah, Ennis, you’re the older one, you should be the boss,” Austin said, stomping towards them with Amanda right on his heels.

  “Stop, it isn’t like that,” Ennis said, holding up his hand to stave off another confrontation between himself and his brother.

  “Sounds to me like Wendell here wants to separate you from the rest of the group,” Austin said, glaring at the much shorter man.

  “No, I want to save the group from your reckless decision making,” Wendell spat.

  Ennis saw his brother’s clenched jaw and knew he was on the verge of knocking Wendell into the next state. “Stop, Austin. He’s just worried, and he has a right to his opinion.”

  “Ennis, I thought we all agreed this was the right thing to do,” Amanda said. “We wait to see if we can do something, and we have a back-up if not.”

  “But we have to do something if we can,” Austin pressed. “That’s the right thing to do for all of us. For everyone.”

  Ennis felt himself shrugging, looking off into the trees. “I don’t know if it is right. What chance do we have, really, even if Sarah finds the information we need? And if she doesn’t, we’ve only lost time. Wendell brings up a good idea. We could get to the west coast, find a boat, and sail to an island.”

  Austin rolled his eyes. “Oh, shoot, that sounds like a much more solid plan.”

  “Austin, we all deserve to decide our own fate. We’ve been in this position before,” Ennis said, meeting his brother’s eyes finally. “Everyone needs to make their own choice for their future. They need to hear the options, and not be pressed into a course that’s going to decide their lives.”

  “Ennis, have you seen a lot of islands in your lifetime?” Austin asked.

  “No, but that doesn’t matter.”

  “It does matter. What are you going to hunt?” he shot back.

  “Fish. You can fish all day,” Wendell chimed in.

  Austin shook his head again, but kept his eyes on his brother. “Really? What about water? Do you two have a desalinator handy?”

  The plan did have some hiccups, Ennis knew, but so did any plan for going after the NWO. “It’s worth a conversation,” he said quietly.

  “You’re dividing the group again, just after we finally all came together,” Amanda insisted.

  “I’m giving the people a chance to make a choice. They aren’t warriors, Austin,” Ennis said. “You can’t drag them into another fight that’s absolutely going to end up with people dying. You’re talking about going into a war zone with no real guns, no gear, no nothing. You’ve seen the NWO fight, more than once, and they aren’t going to leave a computer center unguarded. Think about that!”

  Because it was true, and they all knew it. What Austin wanted to do wasn’t just dangerous—it was reckless, maybe suicidal. So what if they were the only ones who could do it? What did that matter if it was impossible? Wendell might be a fool, but at least he wanted to live.

  Austin had gone silent, but Ennis faced him head-on, willing himself to stay calm. “You’re family. We’re all family now.” He couldn’t bring himself to say that he was terrified of losing his brother, his niece, or his own life. Austin would just have to understand that, and it seemed he did—his eyes softened, and he took a step back.

  Austin sat on the ground, and waited for the others to do the same before he spoke, though Wendell remained off to the side, pacing. “I know it’s a huge risk,” Austin began. “I know it and I’m struggling to do the right thing. I want to run away and put my head in the sand, but I have to think about the future, Savannah’s future.”

  “But Ennis has a point,” Amanda said, siding with him suddenly.

  “What’s that?” Austin asked, looking at her with irritation.

  “We can’t force these people into a battle they don’t want to be a part of,” she offered, her voice quiet. “If they go in there half-hearted, everyone dies. Assuming we do this, whoever wants to fight back has to be all in.”

  “You want everyone to hear Wendell’s island idea?” Austin asked bitterly.

  Amanda looked to Ennis, then Wendell. “I do. I think it’s better we find out who’s on board now rather than later when we really need them.”

  Austin sighed. “Fine. No one’s really doing anything. Let’s get this hashed out now. I want to know who’s with me and who’s not.”

  “It isn’t personal, Austin,” Ennis said.

  “Feels like it.”

  Ennis swallowed down a retort and forced himself to speak calmly. “You’re making this about you. It isn’t only you that has to decide what they are willing to die for.”

  Austin looked at his brother before turning and walking out of the clearing. Amanda followed, leaving Ennis and Wendell alone once again.

  “Sheesh, he acted like we tried to impeach him or something,” Wendell said.

  “It’s a big deal, Wendy. Your idea sounds great in theory, but it amounts to avoiding the fight, and Austin brought up some good points. I suggest you think about how you’re going to answer those questions when they’re brought up by the others,” Ennis said before stalking away into the trees for some shade and some space.

  It was hot and miserable—an ugly dry heat that made his throat feel dry.

  Ennis watched as Austin and Amanda walked toward the stream together, heading off through the trees. There was a strange symbiosis to the way they moved, as if they were of one mind. Amanda was the only one Austin seemed to listen to. She was the only one who could tell him no without his brother blowing up at her.

  It wasn’t long before everyone had been rounded up and brought back to the clearing to discuss Wendell’s plan. Ennis stood off to the side, torn between his sense of patriotism and his desire to survive and live in a peaceful world, separated from the horrors gripping the country.

  “What’s going on?” Drew asked.

  Ennis quickly told them about the idea of moving west immediately, and finding an island retreat, forgetting about the NWO entirely. The discussion got lively quickly, and Ennis only watched, no longer sure what he wanted. Off to the side, Sarah was the only other person who stayed out of it, intent on her own personal mission.

  “We could fight the NWO with the information on that USB,” Austin interjected. “We could fight back and possibly have a real chance at a real future and not a temporary solution to a problem that’s only going to get worse.”

  “We’re tired of fighting,” Gretchen said, her voice carrying over the group.

  Ennis looked around, seeing the others slowly nodding in agreement.

  “We want to live a peaceful life,” Tonya acknowledged.

  “How peaceful will your life be when the NWO finds your island and kills all of you?” Austin snapped. “Or when you’re dehydrated and out of supplies because you’ve trapped yourself on an island?”

  “We deal with that when that day comes. The constant fighting isn’t getting us anywhere,” Gretchen said.

  “It’s keeping you alive. You can’t give up. You give up, you die,” Austin stated simply, staring at her until she looked down to the ground.

  “Who’s to say we can fight the NWO?” Jordan asked. “We can’t beat them. The plan you and Sarah are talking about, that’s pipe dream stuff, it sounds like. We’re just biding time here, waiting to know that for sure. All we can do is keep running from the NWO and hope they don’t send out their full army to kill us. It makes sense to stop running sooner than later and find somewhere to live.”

  Austin was shaking his head. “You’re giving up. How can you give up? The island dream isn’t a long-term solution.”

  “The only thing long-term in this world is death,” Wendell shot back. “You’ll surely lead us all to our deaths if we keep following you!”

  Amanda held up her hands, effectively stopping the comeback from Austin and quieting the group. She had that kind of authority which everyone seemed to respect.

  “Look, the point is that everybody needs to decide whether to prioritize fighting back against the NWO or not. If Sarah comes up with the information we need, we have to be ready to move if we want to, and those who don’t want to fight don’t have to. Let’s take a day to think about it. Pray or do whatever it is you do, but no matter what you choose, you have to be fully committed to the idea. This isn’t something you can change your mind on. Think about your life in a year, five years, twenty years. What do you want? No one can force you to do anything, except the NWO maybe,” she murmured. “But let’s decide by tomorrow where all of our priorities lie.”

  Her calm, authoritative method worked. Everyone quieted down, though Ennis doubted any of them knew for sure what they wanted—except maybe his brother and Wendell.

  “We’ll reconvene tomorrow and see where everyone’s at,” Ennis said, feeling like a day or two to mull over their options was definitely the right decision. He also needed some time to think it over. What made sense? Running to the battle, hoping they had a shot—if Sarah could even offer them a chance—or running for the hills and accepting this world for what it was, however dark a place that might be?

  10

  Malachi rubbed his eyes. The wind had kicked up and he kept getting dirt in his eyes. He’d left the clearing behind earlier, tired of listening to the adults fighting and arguing about what they should do. He didn’t really get a choice in the matter anyway. His mom would decide what was best for them, though he’d push for them to stay with Savannah and her dad if he could.

  “Savannah!” he called out into the woods.

  The sun was setting, blinding him even through the trees when he looked to the west. He squinted, seeing her figure moving down from the area where the horses were; he must have just missed her when he’d left the clearing.

  “Savannah! Wait up!” he called out, jogging towards her. He’d been trying to talk to her the past couple of weeks. He felt horrible for treating her so badly. She’d wanted to be friends and he’d pushed her away. He hated watching her suffer in silence, though. She hadn’t been the same bubbly Savannah since Nash had died. Malachi felt his own share of the guilt, but Savannah was taking it the hardest of any of them.

  “Hey,” he said when he finally caught up to her.

  “Hi,” she returned, not offering anything more as she continued down into the woods. He fell into step beside her.

  “What are you doing out here?” he asked.

  She shrugged a dainty shoulder. “Taking a walk.”

  “It isn’t safe for you to go out walking alone,” he said, noting that she didn’t have a thing on her that she could defend herself with.

  “There’s no one out here,” she replied.

  “We always think there’s no one here until there is.”

  “It’s fine. I’m fine,” she said, not bothering to look at him.

  “How are you doing?”

  “I’m fine,” she repeated.

  It was the same answer she always gave him.

  “What do you think about the options they’re talking about up there,” he asked.

  Her hair got caught in a pine’s limb and she angrily pulled away from it. Usually, she used her fingers to comb it and tie it back. He’d noticed she hadn’t done much with her hair in days. It was like she was wilting away right in front of their eyes.

  “I don’t know. I don’t care.”

  “You have to care. I know you have an opinion,” he teased.

  “Not really,” she said flatly. “It doesn’t matter if I do. My dad is going to decide for me regardless of what I want to do, and he should. I’m terrible at making decisions. My decisions get people killed.”

  Malachi bit back a groan. He’d hoped she’d gotten beyond blaming herself so much. “That isn’t true. Savannah, you saved all of us. Your decisions kept us alive before we got to your uncle’s. I know we wouldn’t be here today if not for you,” he insisted.

  She let out a long sigh, staring out into the overgrown trees. “I hate this. I hate all of it so much.”

  Fighting the urge to give her a hug, Malachi came to a stop beside her as she leaned on a tree and simply reached out to hold her hand. She let him, which seemed like progress, and he finally answered, “I know. I do, too.”

  “Is it worth it?” she asked.

  “Is what worth it?”

  “All of this pain and suffering. We’re probably all going to die anyway. I don’t want to die like Nash did. I want it to be over and done with fast. He suffered a long time. Did you see his face?” she whispered.

  Malachi winced. “You can’t keep thinking about that. It isn’t healthy.”

  “How can I not think about it!” she wailed, tearing her hand away from him and crouching down against the tree as if to shrink into the ground. “I did that to him. I was horrible to him. He left because he was mad at you and me. We made him feel like he didn’t belong.”

  Malachi crouched in front of her, pulling her hand away from her face and holding onto it, gripping it as if that could send some of his reason into her. “I’m sorry for what I did. I pray to God every night to please forgive me for my part in him leaving. But we didn’t actually hurt him, Savannah. You can’t think like that.”

  “I do think like that! I can’t stop thinking like that! I hate myself for what happened to him. Every time I close my eyes, I see his big, bright smile…. He was a nice person, so nice. He saved my life, and look at how I repaid him. It hurts, Malachi. I mean, it really hurts,” she said, putting a fist against her chest as tears began flowing down her cheeks.

  His heart ached for her suffering. “Savannah, will you pray with me?”

  “For what? Forgiveness? No. I don’t want forgiveness. I don’t deserve it!” she hissed, scrubbing at her tears.

  “Yes, you do. You made a mistake. It was Nash’s decision to leave the group. No matter what happened at the house, it was his decision to go to that mine by himself. He knew it was dangerous.”

  She covered her face with her hands, shaking her head. “I can’t deal with this. I can’t do this anymore.”

  He acted on instinct then, reaching out and pulling her into his arms, hugging her tight. She tried to get away, but he refused to let go. Instead, he held her until she quit fighting and relaxed into his arms, both of them there on the ground leaning against a giant pine. Her soft sobs tore at his heart. He hated to see her suffering, but the only thing he knew to do for her was be there and pray she found peace.

  11

  After spending some time with Malachi, Savannah had felt moderately better, but then she’d come back to the clearing. The adults were bickering over what made sense, and it brought all of the stress she’d felt lately pounding back into her head. The tension in the group made it all the more difficult to cope with her own heartache. It felt like there was nowhere safe to turn. Everything was life or death, and there was no safe place to just let her guard down, and simply feel.

  Malachi was a good friend, and she was glad to have him around, but he was about the only thing keeping her sane. He’d assured her things weren’t as bleak as she’d thought. Yes, they had made mistakes, but they were in the past. Crying had actually helped her calm down, weirdly enough.

  Unfortunately, things were never easy. She was convinced she wasn’t meant to be happy. It was one horrible mistake after another for her.

  Now, Savannah felt like crap as she watched Amanda calm Charlie, whispering nothings to him as if Savannah weren’t even there. Amanda stroked his nose, softly whispering as she ran her hand over his neck.

  Finally, Amanda turned to face her, gathering his lead in her hand. “You should have been paying more attention—horses aren’t dogs that you can just give half your attention to!”

  Savannah shrank back from the woman’s anger. “I just wanted space from the clearing, and I thought that part of the stream would be a nice change of pace for him. And me. I wanted his company and didn’t think you’d mind.”

  “I wouldn’t have, if you’d acted responsibly!”

  Amanda turned away from her without another word, leading Charlie back up toward the clearing. The set to her shoulders made her frustration clear, and she had every right to be angry—they were lucky Charlie hadn’t gotten hurt. Savannah had looked away for only a moment, but she’d been holding his bridle too loosely, and something had spooked him. Amanda guessed it had been a snake, but one way or another, he’d bolted. Savannah had screamed for help and run to catch him, but these woods were so thick… they were lucky his bridle hadn’t gotten caught on something and broken his neck.

 

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