Love, Again, page 2
Bruce nodded and went back to whatever he’d been doing before setting me straight. I took a deep breath and walked over to the stretching mats. “Luke, upon reflection it’s best if I follow the schedule until I get back into the groove. If you’re still willing to work with me, I’ll make it worth your while later with coffee. I’m not a fan of this time of the year and leaving a warm gym for the grey November outdoors chills me to the bone. Coffee always helps.”
Luke stood and pulled his sleeveless shirt down to cover the strip of skin exposed during this last stretch. “Thanks, I’d be willing to work out with you regardless of the bribe. I’d like to get to know you better. Having a regular workout buddy keeps things interesting.”
I pushed the weights harder than necessary, probably because Luke insisted I keep it simple. I came to realize I’d preferred the machines to free weights and treadmill to the stationary bikes. Luke reminded me to keep hydrated and tossed me a small towel while I ran my ass off on the machine. My muscles burned and my lungs worked overtime to suck in enough oxygen to keep me going. It surprised me how quickly the 5K mark arrived and I went for more. After another two kilometres, I hit the cool-down button, relieved as the machine scaled back on speed.
I emptied my water bottle, wiped the sweat off my brow, and noticed my shirt stuck to my skin.
Luke approached with a wide grin. Sweat plastered chestnut hair to his head and stained his shirt. “That was awesome, Daniel. Keep moving until your body shifts from recovery mode.”
We walked around the indoor track for a few laps before getting ready to shower. I followed my pattern of wrapping my towel around my waist before pulling off my pants and underwear. Luke chuckled when I grabbed the extra towel from my bag.
“Daniel,” Luke called from the communal showers. “Instead of a coffee shop would you be willing to come over to my place? I’ll brew us a pot of Huehuetenango to go with a few healthy snacks.”
I thought for a moment. That was the second time he called me by my proper name. “That sounds like a fine idea, Lucas.” I waited for a response. His voice came from directly outside the curtain of my shower stall.
“It’s Luke. It isn’t short for anything. My folks liked the name, and that’s how it shows on my birth certificate.” He paused, “I didn’t mean to offend and if you’d prefer that I call you Dan, that’s fine by me. It is your name.”
“I’m Daniel, but everyone shortens it. I’ve gotten used to Dan but I like to hear my proper name occasionally. Thank you, Luke.”
I’ve gained a new respect for Luke. He’s polite, charming, and patient. His house was unassuming, tastefully decorated, and clean. It made me reflect on how my pride had fallen by the wayside. That was another thing I could change.
After coffee and fresh fruit, I decided it was time to head home. Luke’s house was on the Halifax side of the harbour, my place in Dartmouth. The commute from his place, across the MacDonald Bridge and to my apartment was only a fifteen-minute drive. I stopped at my usual outlet and bought an eight-pack of beer. I skipped the junk food since I was still full. I parked, took the beer inside, and looked around my place. It didn’t feel like home. I took a beer and popped the tab. That wasn’t what I wanted either. I put the remaining cans in the fridge and emptied the opened beer down the drain. I was ready for a change.
Chapter 2
After a month of my routine, I was feeling better, both physically and mentally. I even looked forward to workouts with Luke. We’d often go for coffee or snacks afterward. Logically I knew I shouldn’t expect huge changes after only a month. Emotionally I felt I should carry my physique like an Adonis. Before dressing, I scrutinized myself in the mirror. Dammit, thirty days busting my butt and I looked no different. What was the point of continuing this charade if I wasn’t getting anywhere? I shook my head. Listen to yourself, asshole. Only a few minutes ago you were thinking about how much better things were. Now you’re whining that you don’t see physical results.
I dressed and decided it was time to do Christmas shopping. For the last year, I only sent money transfers to the kids for birthdays or special occasions, including last Christmas. Now I challenged myself to get out there and buy gifts for them. I’d even go out on a limb and buy for their significant others. There were no real in-laws yet, but I’d shop for gifts for girlfriends and a boyfriend. I enlisted the help of my workout buddy.
“Hey, Luke, I’m about to go shopping. Do you have any suggestions what Bruce might like? Usually, Jennifer would shop and for the last year I never went out.”
Luke laughed. “I was thinking the same thing, about shopping I mean. Bruce is a hockey fan so a few tickets to Mooseheads games would go over well.” He paused, thinking. “He was never fussy, so he’d appreciate anything you give. Mind if I tag along? I’d rather not do this on my own.”
I liked that idea. Luke was good company and usually gave me a few laughs. “How about I pick you up in an hour? We can either go to MicMac Mall or Halifax Shopping Centre. Hell, we can do both. If we’re efficient, I might even spring for a meal.”
“Oh yeah, you’re on and Daniel, I like the idea of food.” He chuckled. “I haven’t been asked out on a dinner date forever.”
A date? I quickly hurried to my closet to see what I might have that didn’t understate my already bland appearance. This wasn’t a damned date. I only wanted guidance on gift buying. Was that too much to ask? I contemplated going with what I already wore, but Luke’s date comment made me reconsider. Grabbing my favourite jeans and a crisp white shirt, when I looked in the mirror, it shocked me. The pants sagged around my ass and the shirt was too baggy. In a moment of terror, I realized my workouts were paying off. The clothes that used to fit me well were now too big. I knew I had to tighten my belt more, but never thought about it—until now. Once I peeled off the shirt I glanced down and to my horror, I could see my toes without sucking in my gut. This was so wrong. Luck was with me and I found jeans from my thirty-three inch waist days, added a long sleeve Henley that always been snug, while cursing Bruce and Julia for this. I’d have to buy lots of new clothes and I hated shopping. Even when Jennifer was alive, I’d always found an excuse to avoid it. Obviously, my chromosome with the gay gene missed the parts that included disco dancing, interior decorating, and shopping. I got an abundance of the hunky-testosterone-laden-guys-making-me-hot protein. Even my coat sat like a tarp over my shoulders. I sighed and grabbed my keys.
I wondered what Luke would be wearing. He looked good in everything I’d ever seen him, and even when he strutted buck naked in the locker room. I chided myself for not checking out everything. I wondered if everything was as proportional as it appeared in my peripheral vision. Next time I would look. Lord forgive me, but I intended to see that magnificent man in his naked glory from head to toe with some possible lingering in between. Does that make me a pervert? I glared at myself in the rear-view mirror. It makes you curious and an admirer of nice things. Get over it. My outside voice kicked in. Holy fuck, what if he wants to have sex? As in hot, sweaty man-to-man sex? I caught myself in time before the car that suddenly braked for an unsignalled turn met my hood ornament. I was a wreck by the time I got to Luke’s place.
“Hey, you look great. Want to come in for a drink or something before we head off on our first shopping trip?” Luke’s smile caught me off-guard. Well, more off than I had been while driving here.
“No, yes, I mean no alcohol drink but yes, maybe some tea, or not, if you’re not having any. What do you mean I look great? I look the same as I always do.” God, I was incoherent. “What do you do with your fans before you have your way with them?” I blurted out before I could engage my filters.
Luke smiled and nodded. “I guess I shouldn’t have suggested our dinner would be a date. I didn’t mean to ruffle your serenity.” He paused and put a hand on my shoulder. “To answer your question, I treat everyone with respect and take the time to find out one’s comfort level. If you’ll relax, we can get past the date comment and get on with the business at hand, gift shopping.”
Luke impressed me. He had great gift ideas for my sons’ girlfriends and even went as far as suggesting Julia might appreciate a mix of smaller gifts. Hers would be a few dinners out and more tangible things including a gold chain and an antique desk that had belonged to my grandfather. My sons got the usual socks and underwear along with gold coins bought by Jennifer and me when we struggled in our early married years. Financially, they were very valuable now, with the price of gold today, but there was the sentimental value. Bruce was getting home game tickets to the next Mooseheads season.
After winding down our shopping, Luke suggested we visit Triangles for our meal. In the heart of downtown, I knew the place was a gay bar, but never thought they served food. It must be decent for Luke to suggest it, since he appreciated fine dining.
We found our seats and soon a pleasant young man brought us menus and water. When he left, I looked at Luke with a raised eyebrow.
Laughing, he said, “During the daytime hours this is a popular lunch-time place, even for those unfortunate heterosexuals. After six in the evening though…” He waggled his eyebrows.
I laughed. “Well, thank you for breaking me in during the safe zone.” I thought for a moment before looking at Luke once again. “Do you come here often after hours? I’m not trying to be nosy, just curious.”
Luke nodded. “Yeah, I used to come here often, but the novelty of getting off with strangers left me in my youth. I still visit, but I pretty much keep to myself and a few other regulars.”
“I’m going out on a limb here but I’m guessing you don’t have a regular partner? Someone special in your life? What’s that like? I’ve been alone for over a year now and each day I’m not sure how I’ll get through to the next.”
Luke nodded solemnly before speaking. “I’d met someone, a few years ago, someone like nobody I’d ever met. I thought everything had been perfect, but the one hitch was that he couldn’t get past the idea that Bruce came first in my life. He tried to get me to persuade Bruce’s mother to take him. When he suggested my parents, or hers, should raise him, it was the final straw. It broke my heart to make a choice between family or a new love but it was no question for me. You’re a father; you know what that’s like, I’m sure.”
I nodded and reached across to pat the back of his hand. He turned it and his fingers locked with mine. “I could never give up my kids. The things I told you a while back, about them being terrors was me being a smartass. They were the joy of our lives. Do you still miss him? Sometimes I get the impression that feeling alone is one thing we may have in common.”
Luke leaned back and glanced at the ceiling. “Miss him, no. But I miss having a person in my life to share things with.”
The waiter came to take our orders and drop off the drinks. I chose club soda and Luke ordered a mixed cocktail that was definitely at odds with his regular diet and workout routine. I wondered if I’d pushed him too much. He’d only just excused himself for the washroom when a young and slightly inebriated man leaned on the table. He winked at me.
“I was watching you both since you came in. You’re one hot daddy.” He passed me a napkin with an address and phone number written in blotched ink. “When you’re done here, call me and I’ll be your son for as long as you want. You can teach me the facts of life, daddy.” He grinned and turned away just as Luke returned.
Luke raised an eyebrow, so I shrugged and glanced over to see the young man leaving the bar—he has a nice ass—and handed him the napkin. “I think he meant this to be for you.”
Luke unfolded it completely and laughed. “He wrote a poem, ‘eenie, meenie, miny, moe. Which daddy do I blow?’ He signed it Trevor with the Treasure Trail.” He folded it and handed it back. “I left you alone for less than four minutes and someone hit on you? I see I can’t let you out of my sight for long.”
I felt the blush. “Oh, for God’s sake, Luke, he called me daddy. I think he was making fun of an old guy being in his bar.”
Luke chuckled. “On the contrary, Daniel, many younger men look for an older and experienced guy. Daddy is a term of endearment in the gay world. You ought to feel flattered.”
I shook my head. “My kids are only slightly older than him. It would be weird for me to, um, you know. Not that I’m planning to, you know, with anyone but to do it with a kid? Pardon my French, but ewww.”
Our meals arrived, and I practically inhaled mine. I wanted to finish and get out of here. It was a nice place, but Trent or Travis or Trevor left me feeling like I didn’t belong. “I’ve got the tab, Luke. I have a bundle of cash sitting in an account doing nothing.”
“Thanks, Daniel. I don’t like to pry, but why don’t you consult an investment advisor and get it working for you? The credit union I belong to has a handsome one. His family roots are Italian and he won’t steer you wrong. I’ve never had advice yet that didn’t work to my advantage. If you’re willing, I’ll introduce you.”
I nodded. “I never gave it much thought but yeah, it would be good to have it growing so there’s something for the kids when I finally go.”
“Great, I’ll call Vittorio tomorrow to see when he may have time to meet with you. Then you’ll have that out of the way. Mind if I ask, what are your plans for Christmas? We’ve done this shopping together. Would you be willing to make it a family affair? We’ll have Christmas dinner at my place and see how things go from there?”
I laughed. “I see where Bruce gets his assertiveness. I don’t have the room at my place to host and Julia hinted that her brothers and their girlfriends wanted to come to celebrate this year. That’s too much to impose on you.”
“Then it’s settled. Your daughter has room in her place for one brother and girlfriend. Bruce can accommodate the other. I’ve got plenty of space for the dinner, as you’ve seen. I like you, Daniel, and I’d like to help ease things for you. Are we on?”
* * * *
My sons David and Patrick thought Luke was the best thing since Pokémon-go, based on everything their sister told them. I tried not to frown when Julia decided that, in fairness to family unity, she’d give her place up to her brothers and their girlfriends and stay with Bruce. I ignored her suggestion it would be more convenient if I’d spent the holiday with Luke, just to make it easier for preparations.
I was feeling an attachment to Luke. It started out as comfortable and grew to more. I wondered if I’d been taking him for granted, which was something I’d hoped I would never do.
We pursued the gym routine, had a few meals together, both in and out. I’d avoided bringing him to my place, but knew it would happen. On the day we were meeting with the financial advisor, Luke was driving and had arrived early. He looked around my place without comment and accepted my offer of coffee. I wondered how pathetic he thought I was, living as though I was still in my parent’s basement. He said nothing about it.
Vittorio Grancelli was an exquisite man. He exuded charm and knew how sexually appealing he was to some people, especially those of the gay persuasion. I might have smirked when I glanced from him to Luke, knowing which one truly stirred my loins.
He suggested several options with above-average rates of return and suggested that I split the money into two significant investments. One would give me some return with regular payments, while the other would continue to keep growing.
We left the credit union and drove to the gym. It was second nature now, and I was as helpful spotting Luke as he had been with me. The companionship was warm and I couldn’t help but wonder when the other shoe would drop. I sensed that Luke wanted to take things further. I haven’t been with a man for almost forty years, and even then it was only mutual hand jobs. I wondered if I was being fair to him, or worse, leading him on. He hadn’t complained, but he’s a man and likely misses the physical part of a relationship.
Luke coaxed me from the treadmill to run on the indoor track. We started out easy enough, but I was getting winded. Glancing at Luke I said, “Don’t hold back for me. Do your usual pace and I’ll catch up, or not.”
He looked at me and smiled. “Workout partners pace themselves to stay as workout partners. We’re doing fine the way we are.” We continued despite me thinking I was a hindrance. Bruce gave us a wave as we ran by him and another client. “You know, Daniel, when the weather gets better, we could do a daily run around Point Pleasant Park or Public Gardens.”
I gasped for breath before speaking. “I may try either, but don’t think of getting me to run up Citadel Hill. Even I’m not that foolish.” That hill was almost as steep as one of the office towers on the harbour front.
We finished our run and followed the usual shower routine. This time I looked—I really looked at that magnificent man from head to toe while he was buck naked. I’m sure my eyes widened to saucer size when I glanced at his manly parts. There was no question, this man was hung. I blushed when I looked up to see him gazing at me with a slight smile.
“Fair’s fair, Daniel. I showed you mine, now…” I’m sure he bit his lip to avoid laughing.
“You realize you’ve showed yours to just about everyone in the city.” Steeling my nerve, I stood straight, squared my shoulders, and whipped my towel from around my waist. Only wincing slightly when the edge pulled on my balls, I gazed defiantly into Luke’s eyes. At least until he broke the contact and let his wander over my chest and below. I tried not to blush when he lasciviously licked his lips.
“Impressive, Daniel, very impressive.” With that as his parting comment, he turned and walked towards the showers, the towel draped over his shoulder. I took advantage and admired his ass, wondering why his cheeks weren’t hanging limp and loose as I’d imagined mine did. Once again, he caught me staring when he looked over his shoulder, smirked, and shook his head.
* * * *
A late spring morning found Luke and me jogging around my neighbourhood. We’d just finished our run, and I’d expected Luke to continue on his way home. Instead, he followed me down the steps and into my flat. I turned to suggest a protein shake or some cold juice but the look in his eye stopped me.
