NEFARIOUS: B723 SERIES BOOK THREE, page 54
I jerk my head to her room. “Go ahead and go to bed, Rus. We’ll talk in the morning.”
I’m not going to force her to do something with me because I’m pissed and want to pull Mr. Caveman on her. Do I want to fuck her, of course, but she’s going to come to me. And she’s already had one hell of a week.
“That was it?” she asks with a raised brow.
“Yep.”
Her arm lifts to wrap her slender fingers around the hand of my blade before yanking it out of the wall. The remnants of drywall crumble to the floor as she glances down at it and looks back at me.
“You think because you’re an assassin that you have power over me?”
I shake my head. “No. It’s because I love you that I do. Because you love me, and you own me. Because I’m not giving up that easy. Not on you and not on us.”
“So you’ll never let me go?” She doesn’t sound mad at me anymore, or B723, but herself. As if one day I’m going to wake up and despise her in every which way because of every fear she ever had, every decision she ever made, and the doubt that brims in her head.
The answer is no. I don’t want to. However, I’m not going to cause her any discomfort if I did chase her around like a lost puppy.
On the other hand, I’m unhealthy obsessed with this girl, and leaving her behind doesn’t really hold two cents in my head.
“If you’re asking me that because you think I’m going to have a change of heart,” I say, pushing my forehead to hers. “Don’t hold your breath or put any money on it.”
She glances down at the knife. “How many people have you killed with this?”
“None.” She slices her eyes back to me. “It’s not mine. But I did stab Odette with that knife…multiple times.”
“Whose is it?”
“Bishop’s.”
“Why?”
“He wanted me to have it in case I needed it. To be a part of it. It’s special to him, and whether he admits it or not, I’m something to him. We’re family. We love each other. Which means they’ll love you too because of how much you mean to me.”
The funeral was beautiful, I guess, not that I paid much attention to it. My head is a cloud of mixed emotions and feelings, and I’m scared. I’m terrified of opening up my entire world like I did before and having Mills’s life come in like a wrecking ball to shatter it into tiny pieces.
When I woke up this morning, it was in his arms. He kissed the top of my head, made me coffee, and—not sure where he got it from—but dressed in a black suit for the funeral that I’ve been dreading since we picked out everything.
He said he’d drive separately from me, but I needed him. He comforts me without speaking, and…he’s become a piece of my every day that his not being around guts my stomach out into a hallowed space of pain and anguish.
Laurent and Dad were happy to see him when we arrived together. Dad actually hugged him and thanked him for coming. During the service, Mills held my hand through the whole thing. I only cried during the depressing music because it matched my mood.
I also didn’t know if not shedding a tear for Odette and Mom’s deaths made me a monster. Or if my continuing to be with Mills made me a heartless bitch like all three of the women in my life put together.
I’m not sure what I’m becoming, but I don’t want to be like them. And I don’t want to hurt Mills.
I don’t want to hurt myself either.
When the service ended, we went to the cemetery then the luncheon afterward. Mills claimed he wanted to give me some time alone with my family, but like a baby who couldn’t make up its mind, I quickly spoke up.
“Stay,” I tell him, my palm finding one of the lapels of his suit. “Please…Mills, I’m so sorry.” I feel like a bipolar idiot who can’t make up if she wants to end this relationship or stay in it. I need to be put on meds because I don’t know what I’m doing.
“For what?” One of his large hands finds my waist, and he gives it a light squeeze. “You’re upset, Rus. You’re full of emotions, some you have for certain reasons. And you have every right to be. Just don’t shut me out.”
“I…how does someone like me deal with someone like…you.”
Mills slowly cocks a brow, but I notice the faint curl of his lips gracing the corners of his face. “Baby—“ He bends down closer to whisper in my ear, ”—I know it’s been days since I fucked you, but you dealt with it just fine. Better than anyone I could imagine. Like a damn champ even.”
I scoff but grin, trying to wipe the stupid thing off my face when he straightens his spine. “If you want to go rest or something…maybe call Emmy.” His face twists then, alluding that he hasn’t spoken to her since the news. This has affected him as much as me. “You need to forgive her.”
“What, like you’re going to forgive me?” His tone is clipped, but he softens it when he continues with, “I don’t know what to say to her.”
“Just talk,” I urge. “She’s your best friend. You love her.” I attempt to smile, but I know it falls short because he’s right. I have to move past this with him and his extended family.
“Mhm, you’re too good for everyone. Ever hear of letting someone sweat it out?”
I narrow my eyes against his stubbornness. “And here you are.”
“I don’t count. You were trying to kick me out. Big difference.”
“You know she’s driving herself crazy.” His eyes flick to mine, and I sigh. “Like you have been.”
“Because it was you.”
I wave a hand in the air. “Stop turning this into about me. I’m worried about you and your relationships with people you’ve bonded so strongly with.”
Mills blinks at me. “They’ll be fine.”
“But will you be?”
His grayish blues slit at me. “Not if you decide to throw me to the curb again.”
Shaking my head, I reach for one of his hands and squeeze. “No, I’m not deciding to do any of that, Rhett Mills. Shove it from your brain. I promise.”
“You know I love you, right?” He steps closer to me, encasing me into his mild scent. “I love you more than anything or anyone.”
“I do. And I—“
“Mills.” I feel him tense underneath me before his eyes narrow at the sound of the voice behind him. I can’t see anything because he’s still in the way, but it’s who I told him to just go and talk to.
Emmy.
I give him a reassuring nod even though I don’t want to see her myself, but it’s not just her.
It’s all of them.
When Mills finally steps aside, they’re all a perfect line, dressed for the occasion of a funeral and so not welcome here right now.
My blood burns in my veins as I lock eyes with Blue, who remains emotionless and stone-cold just like the rest of them.
Mills wraps his arm around my waist and tucks me into the crook of his hard body. I feel safe there, but I can’t be forever.
No, there are threats in the room.
Ones that I need to face head-on if Mills and I are going to stand a chance.
“We’re sorry for your loss,” Bishop conveys flatly in an all-black suit, tie, and shoes. He looks like the devil with a beard and longer hair. His bright blue eyes inviting if they weren’t always in a scowl.
“What are you doing here?” Mills grounds out. “This isn’t the time nor the fucking place.”
“We wanted to support you,” Kyson quips, looking stylish and handsome in a navy blue jacket and pants. It looks really good against his red hair and, if I didn’t have to figure out how I’m not going to loathe him, I’d ask him to model for me. He’s tall and not too bulky and would look great in my future fall line. “And Amirah.”
My eyes slice to him and slit, but Mills speaks before I do. “Think you’ve all done enough.”
“We want to apologize,” Emmy concedes softly. “We know this is a difficult time for you. “
“You all need to leave.” Mills steps forward, his voice hard and unrelenting. “We’re not doing this here, now.”
“Do you mind if I steal Amirah for a—“
“Yes,” Mills snaps. “I do.”
I reach down for Mills’s hand, knowing that their presence here is just as hard for him as it is for me. He’s said it time and time again that they are everything to him. So his fighting with them ticks at a piece of my heart because I want him to be happy. I want him to have that warm place to go to where he’s supported and loved.
I don’t want him to hate them.
“We can go outside,” I reply, lacing my fingers with the man who has been nothing but here for me. “We’ll have privacy away from the guests.”
Emmy gives me a weak smile, her hand on top of her pregnant belly as Bishop raises an arm for her to come with him.
Mills and I follow his squad outside to the front of the house, and that’s when Emmy turns around.
It’s when I give her a piece of what she gave me the first time we met.
My hand cracks across her face, and there is no doubt for anyone that wasn’t paying too much attention that I just hit a woman who was expecting.
Blue is at Emmy’s side within two seconds, and I just scowl down at Emmy, hoping to God her little friend touches me.
“She’s pregnant,” Blue censures through clenched teeth, her features masked in rage. Emmy doesn’t bother to touch where I hit her, nor does she whimper away. No, she’s as badass as Mills always claimed her to be.
“You’re only going to get one,” Bishop sneers at her other side, glaring down at me with so much darkness that the sun might as well just set at this point.
It’s okay because I gave back what she gave me weeks ago.
“It’s fine,” Emmy whispers, clutching onto his suit jacket. “She’s upset.”
“Damn right, I’m upset,” I spit out. “How fucking dare you all be here.”
“Sometimes family isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be, Amirah.” Marty wedges his way between Emmy and Blue, shoving his hands into his black dress pants. “We’re not sorry that we did it, but we apologize for how it had to go down.”
“You all have no respect for me.” I make sure I look at every single one of them while I continue. “You asked my brother but never or even bothered to ask me how I would want to have this handled or—“
“We never asked your brother,” Bishop claims. “He approached us.”
“And we all know you would’ve said no,” Kyson quips calmly. “No point in asking you again. You made it quite clear to Mills that you weren’t going to budge.”
“So you took it upon—“
“Cut the shit,” Bishop claps back and steps forward to get my gaze to land back on him. “You’d rather have my boy killed, a man you allegedly love so that you can let your psycho family walk around?” He flicks his eyes down the length of my body like I’m either the biggest idiot he’s ever seen or that I’m pure disgusting to the thought that I’d keep Mills out of harm’s way.
“That’s enough.” Mills gives a small yank to the back of my dress to put me behind him. “What is it that you came here for?”
“To pay our respects to Amirah and show our support even though her mother and sister were fucking cunts,” Blue spits out. “Regardless of what she thinks we are.”
“I think you’re a bunch of ass—“ Mills uses his body to block my vision completely off from his second family, and it’s then that I realize he’s picking me over them.
Seeing them physically here over urging Mills to speak with Emmy are two different things. I didn’t expect for me to be so rude.
And I don’t want Mills to cut himself off from them.
I don’t want this to be a thing.
“You paid them,” Mills vouches through a growl. “You can go now.”
“I need to speak with her,” I hear Emmy say, gentle and sweet and not pure killer running through her veins. “Just for a moment.”
Mills shakes his head. “Not gonna happen. This is over.”
Over.
I don’t know if he means them as in a family or if he means this moment, but I’m scared that it’s not the latter.
And that can’t happen.
Mills is B723. It’s in his DNA.
I might be in his heart, beating true and steady, but he wouldn’t survive without them. A whole would be missing in that vital organ because they’re all there too.
And I’d never ever make them choose.
Placing my palm on Mills’s spine, I inhale a deep breath, about to do something that I wasn’t ready to do nor thought I’d have to accomplish so close to everything going down.
“I can speak with her,” I let out, rubbing at Mills’s back to tell him I’m okay with this. “It’ll only be for just a few minutes.”
Mills pivots, turning his whole body against his family, and faces me. His features are darkly handsome and distraught, more so than me, I think. He doesn’t want me to be more upset than I already am, but I believe I might be past that now.
Everything is what it is now—it’s bleak and fucked up to say, but I haven’t cried once for the woman who birthed me and thought I was wasting my time on a career when I could be given an allowance and do what I wanted with it. And Odette and I haven’t had a relationship since we were kids, and even then, it was nothing magical or deeply set in my soul.
I wept over the possibility of never being with Mills again.
I shedded tears about not being able to get over the sudden deaths of half my family so abruptly, and the man I loved had something to do with it.
“You don’t have to do this,” Mills vouches softly. “Go inside, baby, and I’ll handle this.”
“I’m alright.” I give him a light shrug. “It won’t be long.”
“I don’t want—“ My semi-forced smile cuts him off, and I reach for the lapels of his suit and draw him closer.
“I’ll stay in your line of sight. I won’t hit her again.”
His face twists. “I wasn’t worried about you hitting her again; just don’t hit her stomach. Everything else is fair game.”
“Mills,” I chide slowly, rolling my eyes because he doesn’t mean it. “I’ll be right back.”
He grasps my hand and brings it to his lips, pressing a soft and tender kiss to the top of it and releases it. “I’ll be right here.”
With another lift of my lips, I round his body and jerk my head for Emmy to follow me along the sidewalk that goes to the side of the house. As promised, I stay in Mills’s vision and turn around to find both Blue and Emmy standing there.
Blue still looks irritated as fuck that I laid hands on her friend, but I’m not ready to apologize for that yet.
I might never be ready to do that.
“Amirah,” Emmy starts. “I’m truly sorry for how things went down. I’m sure you can understand a little on why we made a move. It was fucked up to not include you, but…we know what the answer would’ve been to that.”
“It would’ve been no,” Blue adds in, making sure to leave no hidden guffs about what Emmy is trying to say. “And this was done to protect one of our own. It was going to get worse whether you wanted to accept that or not.”
“Which one of you did it?” I ask, sliding my focus between the both of them.
They both remain silent and, at the same time, raise their chins.
Interesting.
“Do I at least know who approached my brother about it?”
“Like Bishop said, no one,” Emmy replies. “Laurent spoke with the boys about it. He came to us, not the other way around. We were just monitoring the best we could without going against your wishes and Mills’s.”
“But then you did. And you didn’t even ask me after everything I found out about my brother and what my mother was going to do to my father.”
“Answer still would’ve been no,” Blue retorts with a stoic stare. “I know girls like you. You’re good, nothing wrong with that. I can respect it. However, we don’t have time to wait on girls like you when it comes to our own. Can you stand there and honestly tell me you would’ve given the green light?”
Shame washes over me because it definitely wouldn’t have been an immediate yes escaping my lips.
Blue lifts her shoulders dismissively at my silence. “It would’ve been done eventually with the way your sisters were hanging themselves as the weeks went by. We were just hoping you’d both be alive afterward.”
“And Mills definitely wouldn’t have been a casualty while I was around,” Emmy conveys. “He’s my best friend. I love him more than anything.”
“So do I,” I return. “But we should’ve come up with something else. Together. Killing them—“
“Is what we do.” Blue takes a tiny step forward. “This is who we are. This is who Mills is. We take out the bad guys when justice won’t be served or offered too slowly, and casualties would be disastrous. Mills wasn’t or would never be one. This is just the way it is. Which leaves you only two options.”
“You’ll never find someone like him ever again,” Emmy claims. “You know that. If you let him go, you’ll destroy him.”
“And that means we won’t like you anymore.” I glance at Blue, her eyes completely serious and impassive. As if she could flick that switch right off with no problems. “Could you live with yourself if one of your sisters killed him?” Blue snorts unceremoniously before I can answer. “Nah, they would’ve just raped him until you didn’t know him anymore.”
Emmy moves forward and places a hand on my bicep, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Your father lives with Mills’s blood. Your brother won’t have to worry about protecting you. And your relationship with my best friend can move on. Sounds like you got everything you need.”
“And Solange?” I push back the trepidation of what they may have planned for her. “What happens to her now?”
“Bitch gets a free pass,” Blue emits. “She better use it wisely.”
“You’re serious?”
A sinister smile graces her face. “Unless there is a little savage in you that’s been hiding somewhere in the dark.”
