The Dover Cafe Under Fire, page 38
‘School at the caves, is it, Don?’ she asked from the doorway.
He nodded gloomily. ‘And after all that racket last night, I didn’t get much sleep.’
Lily smiled at the grown-up way he was talking. ‘We weren’t that loud.’
‘Not you. Gran and Auntie Edie. Then I heard Edie run away.’
‘What do you mean?’
He shrugged. ‘She left. Then it was quiet.’
Edie must have told their mum she was pregnant, she thought. And no doubt Nellie hadn’t taken it well. She needed to find her sister. She gave Don a quick kiss on the head. ‘Have a good day, love,’ she said. ‘I’m off to see Jasper.’
Five minutes later, she ran through the door of the forge and straight up the stairs. After knocking briefly, she walked into Jasper’s flat. ‘Have you seen—’ She stopped short as she saw Bill sitting in one of the chairs, his head in his hands, while Jasper awkwardly patted his shoulder.
‘What’s happened?’ she asked.
‘No idea, love. He comes in here, slumps down and hasn’t moved since. It’s been a while, too.’
‘Has Edie been here?’
‘You an’ all? No. Your mum was in here first thing askin’ for her. She were in a terrible state. Then Bill ran out after her. And he came back like this . . .’ He looked at her helplessly. ‘Have you seen your mum?’ he asked. ‘Cos the way she was when she left, I’m worried. Do you know what they rowed about?’
Lily cast a quick glance at Bill, who had taken his hands away from his face and was looking at her.
‘I can’t say,’ she muttered. ‘But I really need to find her.’
Bill let out a short laugh. ‘If you think they rowed cos Edie’s pregnant, then just say so.’
Jasper’s eyes widened. ‘She never is,’ he whispered. ‘That Greg, was it? Wait till I get my hands on him. I knew he were trouble the minute I set eyes on ’im!’
‘It does take two, you know?’ Bill said drily.
Jasper threw him a glare. ‘Oh, I see clearly now what your problem is. You were startin’ to have feelin’s for Edie, but now this has happened, you’re thinking she’s not worth the bother.’
Bill coloured slightly.
‘Because all of a sudden, you’re thinkin’ she’s not the girl you thought, am I right?’
Bill stared down at his hands.
‘So now you’re thinkin’ she’s tainted somehow. Not the same Edie you’ve been spendin’ all the hours God sends with these last few days?’
When Bill still didn’t answer, Jasper nodded. ‘You blame her, dontcha? She’s proven herself to be just another human bein’ what makes mistakes, and now you feel let down, is that it?’
‘Don’t talk to me like that!’ Bill responded heatedly. ‘I never thought she was perfect! I was able to overlook her affair with a married man.’
‘Oh, able to overlook it, were ya? What a gentleman you are!’ Jasper said mockingly, two bright spots of colour on his cheeks. ‘Tell me this, Bill, can you say with your hand on your heart that you never got a girl in trouble? Can yer?’
‘Of course I haven’t!’ Bill said indignantly.
‘An’ how do you know?’
‘I just . . .’ He trailed off uncertainly.
‘Exactly. You ain’t got a clue. So don’t you go blamin’ that poor girl for lookin’ for love in all the wrong places. Don’t you bloody dare! And if you are blamin’ her, then you can leave my house!’
Exhausted by this speech, Jasper slumped into his armchair and lay his head back. ‘All me life, I’ve seen girls in trouble. Hester were one, Marianne another. Then there were poor Annie Brown what Donald left high and dry, and him a married man! And for every girl what’s had her life ruined, there’s a bloke walkin’ around with not a care in the world!’ He pointed at Bill. ‘Think on it, Bill. Think on all the girls you’ve known and tell me that you know for sure that you ain’t one of them blokes.’
Bill looked away.
‘Course you can’t. Cos that’s what men have bin doin’ since time began. Gettin’ girls in trouble, leavin’ them to pay the piper.’ Jasper rubbed his face. ‘It makes my blood boil. I did me best for Annie and for Hester. And for a couple of others I won’t mention. An’ Edie shouldn’t fear – I’ll do me best for her and all. But what about you, Bill? What’ll you do?’
Bill stood up. ‘I’m going to pack,’ he muttered. ‘And then I’ll be out of your hair, Jasper.’
He walked into his bedroom and shut the door and Lily went to sit on the arm of Jasper’s chair, putting her arm around him. ‘That was quite a speech,’ she said with a lump in her throat. ‘I’ve never heard anyone speak like that about it. And the last person I’d have expected to hear it from was a man.’
‘Yeah, well, it needs sayin’. An’ the reason I feel like this is cos my mum – your gran – were one of them women, Lily. She were just a slip of a girl when some brute abused her. You have the look of her, you know. She were a beauty, too. Oh, how she’d have loved you. But she never got the chance. Instead she worked herself to the bone to keep me. She died when I were fifteen, exhausted and alone ’cept me. That’s why me and Donald was such good friends. He wouldn’t stand for anyone calling me names. I thought he were the best bloke in the world. Turns out, though, he were just like all the rest.’
Lily kissed the top of her father’s head. Jasper hadn’t had much of an education, but his compassion, how he seemed to instinctively understand people – that was something that could never be taught. ‘I need to find Edie. Where do you think she’d have gone?’ Lily asked against his hair.
‘Only one place she will go now. The garage.’
Lily nodded. Of course that’s where she’d go; she should have thought of that herself.
‘I ’spect your mum’s gone off somewhere to cool down after hearin’ Edie’s news.’ Jasper sighed tiredly. ‘No doubt she’ll turn up sooner or later. An’ when she does, you leave her to me.’
After Lily had left, Jasper sat staring into space for a long time. Why had his heart chosen this family? he thought ruefully. His life would be a sight more peaceful if he’d just kept himself to himself.
Bill came out of his room with his kitbag over his shoulder. ‘I’ll be off then,’ he said.
Jasper nodded, his eyes narrowed. ‘You’re a good lad, Bill, but I can’t pretend I’m not disappointed in you. I saw how you an’ Edie were together – how you worked together, helped each other. Everythin’ she’s done for Clive these last days, don’t that mean anything to you?’
Bill looked shamefaced. ‘Course it does.’
‘So what’s the problem?’
Bill shrugged, avoiding his gaze.
‘She ain’t as pure as the driven snow, is that it?’
Bill snorted. ‘I already knew that. I don’t care about that.’
‘But you blame her anyway. You think she ain’t worthy of you anymore. St Bill bloody Penfold, is that it? Well, get on yer way, then, son. But think on what I said. Think on it carefully. And try to stay safe, eh?’
Bill nodded briefly. ‘You take care, Jasper,’ he said. ‘And thanks. For everything.’
Jasper shut his eyes after he left. There was nothing more he could do there, he realised. He just hoped that after Bill had had some time to digest his words, he’d come round. Because he had a feeling that Edie’s heart would be truly broken this time if he didn’t.
Chapter 73
The flat above the garage smelt of a combination of damp and smoke when she entered and Edie went through, opening all the windows, despite the cold. Then she went into the kitchen and filled a bucket of water and took out all the cleaning utensils. If Mr Pearson ever returned, she didn’t want him to come back to this mess.
For the next couple of hours, Edie managed to keep her dark thoughts at bay as she dragged out the ruined bedclothes, the destroyed bed, the burnt carpets and threw them onto the forecourt. She didn’t care if anyone saw her, not now. She had nothing left to lose. If they arrested her, so much the better. At least she’d have somewhere to stay.
She’d just finished scrubbing the walls in Mr Pearson’s bedroom, when she heard a noise downstairs. She stood quietly in the middle of the room, holding her breath as she waited to hear the heavy footsteps of the military police on the stairs. But instead she heard lighter steps, and she knew immediately who it was. ‘Like the pitter-patter of rain’ her mum had said, and turned out she was right.
She sighed and went into the sitting room. If it had to be anyone, then Lily was the best of a bad bunch, she supposed.
‘Jasper said you’d be here.’ Lily came into the room, her eyes taking in her sister’s dishevelled figure – her face smudged with dirt, her clothes damp and the knees of her trousers black where she’d knelt on the carpet to pull it up.
Edie smiled slightly. ‘Course he did. Jasper always knows.’
Lily went to hug her but Edie moved away.
‘What are you doing here, anyway?’ Lily asked, wrinkling her nose as she looked around.
Edie shrugged. ‘There’s nowhere else for me to go.’
‘You can go to Jasper’s?’
Edie laughed. ‘I don’t think so. Especially as Bill’s there.’
‘What’s the deal between you two?’
‘Nothing.’
‘You like him though.’ It was a statement.
Edie shrugged again. ‘Doesn’t matter if I do.’
‘Well, it does, really.’
‘Seeing as you’ve decided that I don’t have the right to try to get rid of this baby, then no, it doesn’t. Who’d want me now?’
Lily had no answer to that. Despite Jasper’s speech, she wasn’t sure if it would change how Bill felt.
‘Why did you tell Mum?’ she asked instead.
‘Because I don’t care what she thinks. I don’t care what she says, does or even whether she’s alive.’
Lily was stunned. ‘Surely it can’t be that bad? What did she do?’
Edie looked her square in the face. ‘You’ll have to ask her that because I don’t want to talk about it. Now, unless you want to help me clean this place up, you may as well go.’
‘Funnily enough, I don’t want to help clean up. What I do want is for you to come home and talk to Mum; you’re gonna need her,’ Lily said.
‘No, I’m not.’
‘Please, Edie. At least try. And if you still feel the same, then I’ll do everything I can to help. Just come. For me.’
Edie was silent for a long time. In her mind’s eye, all she could see was her mother’s face. The regret. The grief. The devastation. The memory of last night was bitter, but she couldn’t forget the way her mother had held her either. Comforted her. Could she trust her ever again? she wondered. She put her hand on her stomach. She wasn’t sure.
‘No, I’m not coming. But feel free to tell her where I am. If she really wants to talk then she can come to me.’
‘Look, I know how angry you are—’
‘You have no idea, Lily. No idea at all. So if you’re not cleaning, then just go.’
Seeing the stubborn set of her sister’s jaw, Lily knew there was no point pushing it. But she’d at least got a small concession from her, so that was better than nothing.
*
Edie sat in the cold flat for a long time after Lily had left, the cleaning forgotten as her mind went over and over everything she’d learnt the night before. She wasn’t sure what to think anymore. What to feel.
And then there was Mr Pearson. She needed to know he was all right. Even if whatever had been growing between her and Bill over the last days could never come to anything, she couldn’t give up on his uncle. She pushed the heels of her hands into her eyes. Lily was right in one way. She couldn’t just leave home. She had nowhere to go and a baby to support. She needed her family. And if she left, she’d lose her brothers and sisters too.
A car door slammed outside and she went to the window to see Mr Pearson’s little Morris Minor sitting on the forecourt, Bill walking around to open the passenger door.
She watched in astonishment as Mr Pearson’s head emerged. He looked haggard, exhausted, but he was there.
Without thinking, she flew out of the room and down the stairs.
‘Mr P!’ she yelled, throwing herself into his arms. ‘You’re back! Oh my God!’ She burst into tears, squeezing him tight, noting how bony he’d become.
Mr Pearson stumbled back slightly, then his arms came around her. ‘Edie, love,’ he said. ‘Oh, Edie. Am I glad to see you.’
They clung together for a long time, Edie’s tears soaking into the shoulder of his jacket. She couldn’t be sure, but she could have sworn her own shoulder was a little damp when they finally drew apart.
She cupped a hand round his cheek. ‘Are you all right?’ she whispered. ‘They didn’t hurt you?’
‘I’ll live,’ he said with a tired smile. ‘But I’ll never listen to a bad word about your cookin’ again. Prison grub ain’t for the faint-hearted.’
Edie laughed. ‘That bad, eh? Not surprised you’re so thin.’ Her eyes filled with tears again. ‘I thought I’d never see you again,’ she whispered.
‘Pah. It takes a bit more than the might of the government to keep me down, girl.’ He smiled into her eyes and her heart broke at the shadows she could see in his face.
Mr Pearson cleared his throat and stepped back, looking embarrassed.
Edie looked at Bill enquiringly.
‘You and I were meant to go to see Mr Wainwright today,’ he said. ‘But as you were otherwise occupied with the reverend and your mother, I went by myself. And look who I found, sitting by the fire in his office.’
‘How do you know where I was?’ Edie said fearfully, remembering what she’d shouted to Reverend Johnson as she’d slammed out of his house.
Bill shook his head, his lips in a thin line, his eyes avoiding hers.
Did he know? she wondered, her stomach sinking. Turning quickly to hide her expression, Edie walked her boss over to the stairs. ‘What you need is a nice cup of tea,’ she said brightly. ‘Although I’m afraid the place is a bit of a mess as I haven’t finished cleaning up. You’ll have to sleep in my room too, because yours is ruined, but a splash of paint and a new carpet and it’ll be shipshape again.’ She was fully aware she was babbling, but needed to cover up her mortification at Bill’s expression.
But then, she supposed it made no difference if he’d heard what she’d shouted at the vicar. He’d find out soon enough. As would her boss. Which meant he probably wouldn’t want her to work there anymore.
Once the tea was made, the three sat together in the sitting room while Mr Pearson described the horror of the last few days. ‘If it weren’t for you two, I don’t know what would have become of me,’ he said gratefully. ‘Mr Wainwright told me what you done.’ He took each of their hands in his. ‘And I want you to know, Edie, this place is your home as long as you want it. And, Bill, obviously it’s yours too.’ He looked between them meaningfully.
When neither of them looked at him, he sighed and stood up. ‘Tomorrow, Edie, you and me are gonna start to rebuild the business, but right now, I’m gonna leave you young people to it and catch up on all the sleep I’ve missed.’
There was a long silence after Mr Pearson had left. Finally, Edie stood up. ‘I’m really glad he’s home safe, Bill. And if I don’t see you before you join your squadron, good luck. But I best get off home now. I need to sort a few things out.’
Bill cleared his throat. ‘Wait, please. I’d like to talk to you.’
Edie sat down again. ‘All right.’ She tapped her foot on the floor nervously.
‘The thing is, Edie. You remember what I said to Mr Wainwright – that if anything happened to Uncle Clive, I’d want you to run the garage.’
She nodded.
‘I meant it.’
She smiled slightly. ‘It’s a lovely thought – I mean not lovely if anything happened to Mr P, obviously, but that you trust me enough for that.’
‘I do. I do trust you enough for that. And so does Uncle Clive. And the thing is, with the job I do, chances are I won’t survive the war.’
‘Don’t say that!’ Edie instinctively reached for his hand.
‘It’s true though. And that’s why I have to get things in order in case I don’t come back. I don’t want to leave anything unsaid and undone.’
‘You’re not gonna die. You’re gonna come back.’
‘Maybe, maybe not. But, you see . . . over the past days, I’ve been thinking that you and me, we make a good team. And if we married, then I wouldn’t have to worry about the future of the garage or who will look after Uncle Clive when he gets old.’
Edie stared at him in astonishment. ‘You want to marry me so I can look after your uncle in his old age? That’s ridiculous!’ She couldn’t lie. Her heart had leapt slightly at his words. But even if she could accept, it was hardly flattering to know he’d only married her for his uncle’s sake.
‘Why? It seems sensible to me.’
‘And what if you do survive? I’m not sure you’d feel quite so pleased to have installed me here. I mean, you hardly know me. And what if you meet someone else? Someone you want to marry for love, rather than just to secure your family business?’
He squeezed her hand tightly. ‘That’s not why I’m asking you,’ he mumbled. ‘And I’ve known you for most of my life.’
She laughed slightly. ‘I’ve known Mr Gallagher on the newsstand for most of my life, but I’m not going to marry him!’
Bill huffed. ‘You know what I mean.’
‘No, Bill, I don’t know what you mean. We’ve spent these past few days together, but that’s hardly time enough to really get to know each other, is it?’
‘I might not have time enough, Edie.’
‘Then again, you might. Marry in haste, repent at leisure – that’s what they say. And I don’t want you to regret your marriage, Bill. It wouldn’t be fair.’
‘I wouldn’t regret it,’ he said softly.
She looked at his face and her breath caught at his gentle expression. It hadn’t been the most romantic proposal, but she still longed to say yes. To leap into his arms and kiss him. But she couldn’t. ‘You don’t know me, Bill. If you did, you’d never ask me to marry you.’
