Midnight Magic, page 100
Which really is not a bad thought at all. Better than some smelly and hairy fifty-year-old I’d probably manage to wrangle up.
The thought of having sex with Vance makes me sick to my stomach with nerves, but there is nothing bad about it.
Vance is gorgeous and kind and I know he’ll at least try to make this special, even if it is for the wrong reason. I could at least pretend it’s for us and not for a spell.
“We’re heading to the shop!” Vance calls from downstairs.
“Okay!” I shout back.
A moment later, the front door opens and closes and the car out front starts.
I’m definitely going to do this. It’s the best choice for so many reasons.
When Vance gets home tonight, I’m losing my virginity.
CHAPTER 15
I prepare Vance’s bed just before they get home by putting the cleansed crystal beneath the mattress. I haven’t spoken to either of them since breakfast and I’m trying so hard to ignore my nerves and the awkwardness I know is coming. I don’t want this to be weird. I keep telling myself it’s for a purpose and that purpose isn’t because of the feelings I have for him… have had for him for years. Thinking about that makes me dizzy and on the verge of passing out. Instead, I keep saying this is what I need to do to make me feel better. The only way to exact revenge on the girl who has made the last almost two years of my life a living hell.
This is the only way.
The door downstairs opens and closes.
My heart stutters and my mouth goes dry.
This is it. The moment I’ve been anticipating and dreading all day.
I have a plan, know exactly what I’m going to do. I spent at least two hours today going back and forth on what I would say. Something that wouldn’t sound too cheesy. I went from going out shopping for lingerie to surprise him to just being like “Okay, I’ll take you up on that offer,” but none of those fit. I had to think back to us and what we used to be like when we were younger.
I grew up with Victor and Vance, spent so much time with them. Things have been different since I left, but there is no reason we can’t get that back. Or something like it, anyway. After all of this, we will not go back to what we were. Not even close.
But we could be more. So much more.
Checking myself in the mirror one last time before I move to the door, I place my hand on the knob, ready to do this. Only I’m stopped when I hear them talking loudly. It sounds like they’re downstairs, so maybe they think I can’t hear them, but I do. I press my ear to the door and don’t feel an ounce of shame for it.
“So what are you going to do then?” Victor asks. He sounds like he’s trying to be quiet, but I can hear the anger all the way up here.
“Go up there and talk to her.”
“Just talk?”
“Yeah, Victor, just talk. If you wanted to be the one to do this, you should have offered first.”
“I didn’t realize this was a damn contest!”
“For fuck’s sake, Victor, really?”
“Vance, I’ve loved her as long as you have, you know this. Why do you get to be her first?”
I back away from the door just as Vance lets out an annoyed sound.
Did Victor just admit that he loves me? On top of being upset at the thought of me losing my virginity to Vance and not him.
Whoa, that is a lot.
That messes up my plans entirely. I assumed Victor didn’t care about this… Not in the way Vance does, anyway. Vance has always been the sweeter one. Shy and quiet, but still just as fierce when needed. I saw him punch a kid straight in the nose once because he catcalled me when I was walking outside to get my mail. You’d never know it by seeing him out in a social setting, but when you really get to know him? It’s all there. Victor has never had an issue voicing his wants and concerns, hence him being the one to bring this up in the first place, but Vance is right… why didn’t Victor say something if it’s so important to him?
Footsteps on the stairs has my heart pounding and my mind going blank. I’ve lost every bit of the plan I came up with. Not that it would do me any good now with what I just heard. I step back until my legs hit the bed and I fall onto it just as there is a knock at the door.
“Adi, can we talk?” It’s Vance.
“Come in.” The words come out in a whisper, and I know there is no way he heard me, so I clear my throat and try again. “Come in!”
Vance opens the door, steps in, and closes it behind him.
He’s dressed the same way he is every day—black T-shirt, jeans, and boots—yet for some reason, he looks even better today. His curls fall over his forehead in a way that’s messy but stylish.
He gives me a small smile that melts my heart. “Can we talk?”
“Uh, yeah. Of course.”
I pat the bed beside me and instantly regret it. I do not need him that close to me right now. Why did I do that? Before all of this, it would be such a normal thing, but now? The thought freaking terrifies me. So as he moves closer to sit on the bed, I scooch up and rest against the headboard.
Vance takes a seat, resting his forearms on his thighs, and stares at the ground for a moment. The room is so silent there is ringing in my ears. My mouth is so dry I can barely swallow. If I can’t even talk to him, how am I going to get naked in front of him?
Gods, this is so stupid. I should call the whole thing off.
But damnit, I really don’t want to.
“About what I said,” he starts, turning his head towards me and I meet his brilliant green eyes. “What I offered?”
“What about it?” I try to sound calm but I don’t think I do.
“We didn’t really talk about it and I think we should.”
“Okay.”
He looks at me for a long moment but I’m not sure what to say. He came in here to talk, so I allow him to lead the conversation.
“Okay.” He takes a deep breath. “Basically, I want to know if you’re accepting. Or if you’ve changed your mind about the whole thing. Or—and I hope this is not the case—you’re just going to do it with someone else.”
“Yes.”
“What?” His brows furrow.
“I mean, yes.”
“Yes, what?”
I let out an unwarranted giggle and tuck some hair behind my ear.
“I’m sorry, Vance, this is just…” I blow out a breath. “This is a lot.”
He turns his body towards me. “I know that, Adi. And I don’t want you to think I’m pressuring you into anything. I’m not. Ultimately, this is your decision, it’s your body and your life. I just want you to be safe and I really don’t want you regretting anything.”
“What makes you think I won’t regret you?”
Wow. I have no idea where that came from, but go, Adi!
He lets out a humorless chuckle. “Well, I don’t know that. I just know I wouldn’t be a dick to you. Wouldn’t make you do anything you don’t want to do, and you’ve known me for years so I’d like to think you’re more comfortable with me? That you trust me?”
“I do,” I say quickly. “I do, Vance. Both of you. When I started school, I figured it would be awful. And it has been, but there is no way I could have gotten through any of it without the both of you, even if I didn’t tell you what was going on. Just seeing you helped. I know things aren’t like they used to be when we were little, but—”
“It could be.” Our eyes meet and I know he’s telling me the truth. Speaking right from his heart. He means what he says. “If you let me, let us, it can be even better.”
I smile and look down at my hands tugging on the string in my sweatpants. Yeah, when I said I was trying to keep things as close to us as possible, I meant it. And that means me in sweatpants.
I sigh and look back up at him. “I… do accept your offer, but only on one condition.” I nibble on my lip.
“What’s that?” he asks, looking relieved. Not in the sense that he’s happy to be getting laid, but in the way that he’s happy I made the right decision.
“Obviously I’ve never done this before and—”
“I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do.”
“I know that, but that’s not where I was going with that.”
“Oh, okay. Sorry.”
“I don’t know much about how this whole thing works, other than the basics and the crazy shit I’ve heard in the showers, but I need Victor to be involved too.”
His eyes widen at that and his mouth drops open.
“You want Victor here too?”
“Is that a problem? Oh my owls, it’s a problem.” I run my hands down my face. “Vance, I’m sorry!”
“No, Adi, no.”
“I just thought he—”
He reaches over and takes my hands in his, moving closer to me.
“Adi, listen to me.” I nod, chewing on my bottom lip. I’m surprised I haven’t chewed a damn hole through the thing at this point. “I am not offended and I am not upset with you. I was just shocked that you want your first time to be with both of us.”
I glance around the room, trying to avoid his gaze for as long as I can. With two fingers on my chin, he tilts my head up and I can’t help but look into his eyes.
“What is it? Just say what you want to say.”
“Okay.” I take a deep breath before letting it out. He drops his hand but I keep his gaze. “I’ve loved you and Victor for as long as I can remember. I always chalked it up to a teenage crush. Even after I moved away, I thought about you guys every single day. And seeing you again was life changing. It was like I had a piece of my old life back, which was so important to me because it was at a point when I felt like I had nothing. But then, I saw all these things that somehow turned into you two dating and I pushed my feelings aside, but they’ve always been there, Vance. Always. I love Victor and I love you.”
I don’t know what I expect him to say to that. I pretty much just laid everything out for him. So when he doesn’t say a word and leans forward to kiss me, all of the air leaves my lungs. He crawls forward, leaning over me, trapping me between him and the headboard, and my entire body flushes. He only pulls back after giving me the sweetest, softest kiss.
“I love you, Adi. And I’d speak for Victor but I think it’s only fair he tells you himself.”
I bite on my bottom lip again and nod my head.
“Can I ask for one more favor?”
I’m pushing my luck, I know.
He nods. “Anything.”
“Can we pretend that none of this conversation happened? That none of this was planned? Can we just go downstairs like this isn’t going to happen and just—”
“Let it happen naturally?” he asks with a smile, finishing my sentence.
“Yes,” I breathe out. “Please.”
“I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
CHAPTER 16
When Vance and I get downstairs, Victor is just getting off the phone.
“I ordered food,” he says as we enter the kitchen, giving us a curious look.
“Sounds good,” Vance says, walking to the fridge and opening the door. “Want something?” he asks me over his shoulder.
“Water?”
He nods, then looks to Victor.
“I’m good.”
Vance grabs two bottles and hands one to me before opening his and taking a long drink.
The three of us were brought up in a community that didn’t rely on our magic. Our parents did just about everything by themselves because it’s how they were raised, and if I ever have kids, I’ll probably do the same.
There are plenty of people in the world who use their magic for everything, but I don’t like the thought of that. Yes, I can’t wait to be able to use mine and I’m sure I will go a little crazy at first, but I don’t want the magic of magic to get old. And I don’t want to get bored with life. When everything is just a snap of the fingers away, what are you really getting out of that?
“Want to watch a movie?” I ask. It’s probably the best thing to do, right? Getting comfy on the couch, waiting for food, eating, finishing the movie, and then… sex?
Even thinking about it has my stomach twisting in knots. Both out of anxiety and also interest. Desire, too, if I’m being honest.
They’ve both kissed me at this point, and neither was long enough. I want more of them.
Gods, am I really going to do this?
“Good idea, Adi,” Vance says with a smile, walking by me and heading into the living room.
“You coming?” I ask Victor.
He narrows his eyes at me before nodding.
We get settled on the oversized couch, me sitting between the both of them.
“What do you want to watch? Comedy?” Vance picks up the remote and turns on the television.
“I want something scary.”
“Really?” Victor asks, raising a brow at me.
I turn towards him. “Is that okay?”
“Yeah, it’s okay, just not normal.”
I shrug and don’t respond, taking the controller from Vance’s hand and looking through the movies. “Have you guys seen this one yet?” I ask as I click on the more info button on a movie that looks right up my alley.
“Nope.”
“I haven’t.”
“Neither have I,” I say. “So I guess this is the one.”
When there is no argument, I click the play button and settle back.
The movie starts up with chilling music, and Vance reaches over to shut the lamp off, putting us in complete darkness—other than what little light the TV is giving off. I tell myself to just go with whatever I feel and make this as natural as possible. I can do whatever I want. I already know Vance is going to allow this, so I don’t have to feel weird about being rejected. And that thought has me excited, even more eager to figure this whole thing out. Pulling my feet up, I tuck them under me and then lean onto Vance’s shoulder. When he feels me, he shifts and moves his arm, placing it around my shoulder. He’s warm and smells so damn good. A few more minutes go by, and I slide my feet closer to Victor, sticking them under his leg. He places his hand on my ankle, finger brushing against the bare skin, and I get goosebumps.
On the screen, we’re being shown through a house where a murder took place—the one the movie is based on. A message pops up to tell us they’re about to show actual crime scene photos.
The music continues to play as they go through gruesome photos and I’m suddenly wondering if I should have picked something else. Is this really the type of movie to get into the mood? Pretty sure it’s not.
Though, it doesn’t seem to make a difference because Victor’s hand is most definitely moving farther up my leg.
Yep, it’s going up there all right.
I shift a bit more, straightening out my legs and Victor lifts them up, putting them on his lap and sliding his hand all the way up to my knee and resting it there. All the while his eyes are glued to the TV as if what he’s doing is so natural. As if he knows my body so well he doesn’t need to see where he is going…
Why do I like that thought?
I try to pay attention to the TV but I’m seeing nothing. All I can focus on is the scent of Vance beside me and Victor’s hand and how close it is to my aching center—a feeling I am not used to.
I shift again, trying to get more comfortable against Vance and he moves his hand around my belly and I’m very aware of how close his fingers are to that same spot.
Just a few inches away and he could be touching me, giving me pleasure. A pleasure I’ve only ever felt by my own hand but not in a very long time.
A loud crash sounds on the TV and I jump as someone shoots up in bed. I laugh at myself at how much it scared me and snuggle into the guys more, trying to ease my pounding heart. We stay this way and continue to watch the movie until the doorbell rings. Victor gets up to get the food and I miss him as he goes, even though I know he’ll be right back. When he returns, he flicks on the light and places the box of pizza on the table in front of us. I eat only one slice, not feeling all that hungry—probably nerves—while they eat the rest of it.
Vance gets up to clean the mess, leaving me alone with Victor for a few moments.
“What are you doing?” he asks with a slight frown.
“What?” I’m not sure what he’s talking about.
He thrusts his hips up slightly and I look down, seeing a large outline in his pants. My body warms and my lips part.
“Is that your intention?” he asks softly, his normally bright blue eyes now dark.
My mouth opens as I go to say something but just then, Vance walks in, interrupting us.
He shuts the light off and sits down, pulling me close and back to his side.
We go back to watching the movie, but I can’t get the image of how hard Victor is in his pants out of my head. And it’s made even worse when he starts sliding his hand up my leg and doesn’t stop at my knee. He keeps going until he’s halfway up my thigh and I have to stop myself from shifting even though my body is crawling with the need to move. My chest starts to burn and I realize I’m not breathing. Slowly, I let the air out of my lungs, trying not to make it obvious. I don’t want them to think I’m a nervous wreck—even though I am.
The ache between my legs is back and so strong it’s almost painful.
The anticipation of this is killing me. I know what this is all leading to and I don’t want to wait anymore. The thoughts of seeing them naked, their hands on me… is driving me batshit crazy. I should have come up with a secret word to let Vance know I’m ready. But that would defeat the natural thing, wouldn’t it?
So how does all of this happen naturally? Should I just try to kiss one of them?
If I twist just a little, I can reach Vance’s mouth…
It’s a start, so that’s what I do—without thinking about it too much of course.
Moving more onto my side, I turn my head and look up at Vance and spot his perfect mouth. He notices almost immediately and looks down at me. I push forward and bring my lips to his. Seconds later, Victor’s fingers are digging into my thigh, no doubt seeing what’s going on.
