Ghost Days, page 10
Marie snickered and sipped her soda. “She must have been really special, hm? Christine?”
Garza started to answer, then stopped and put her thoughts in order. “It was just supposed to be sex. Fun, no strings attached, killing time while her husband was out of town. She called them ghost days. Like Christmas and your birthday. Special days that feel different than ordinary days, you know?” Marie nodded that she understood. “We only had six days together total. I know it’s crazy to think we’ve made a real connection in that time. Or maybe it’s not. But those days... they felt like more by the end. And having that taken away... it hurt.”
“I understand,” Marie said. “And look, six days or six years. The honeymoon period can be a hell of a drug. But when you know something, you just know. There’s got to be something special about this Parrish woman if she’s still got this tight of a hold on you.”
Garza said, “You think?”
“Erika, you’re sitting in a car with a sexy-as-hell firefighter who is willing to let you do whatever you want in this region.” She gestured to her torso and lap. “And you haven’t made the first move. So either you’ve got something else on your mind or I’m about to get very self-conscious.”
Garza laughed and looked down at her hands. “It’s definitely not you.”
Marie nodded. “Okay. Well, you take as long as you need. And I’ll be here, either as a friend or...” She shrugged. “Or for whatever you need me to be.”
“Thank you. That means a lot.”
“You’re welcome.” She pointed at the movie screen. “There’s a really good gag coming up...”
Garza settled in. She wasn’t fully relaxed, and her mind was still turning Parrish’s name over and over again, wearing smooth the edges of it. But Marie’s words had helped calm the storm a little bit. It gave her hope that maybe someday, maybe someday soon, she could forget about Parrish and move on.
It was enough for her to relax and enjoy a movie with a beautiful firefighter.
Chapter Eleven
Garza returned from a marathon trip to Vancouver on a Wednesday night. She had to stop in Calgary to refuel, which gave her flashbacks to the trips with Saul. It was almost exactly a month since Christine Parrish first walked into her life. Two weeks with her, two without. And when the ‘without’ period started with an unreturned declaration of life and a murder, she felt like moving on was the only viable path.
Maybe with Marie. Marie was pretty. She was fun and smart. And, when they realized neither of them could focus very much on the movie, she had proven herself to be a fantastic comedian. Garza had laughed more at her than at the movie. She could see herself dating Marie. It would be easy. Well, as easy as a relationship like theirs would ever be.
She landed, put the plane to bed, and headed inside. She would call Marie in the morning. They’d make plans. Maybe just a quiet dinner at one of their houses. She was excited at the possibility.
Garza had eaten dinner in Calgary so she passed through the kitchen and went straight to her bedroom. She untucked her shirt and started undoing the buttons as she turned on the lights.
Parrish raised both her hands as if warding off an attack. “Please don’t scream.”
Garza thought it was more likely she’d throw a punch. She couldn’t classify any of the emotions she was feeling in the moment. Relief, joy, anger, confusion, frustration, panic, fear. It was Parrish, but her hair was red now. She was dressed in a man’s white undershirt and blue jeans. It would have been a good look for her, but the clothes were dirty, as if she’d been wearing them for days. Her hands, still raised in defense, were shaking.
Garza stepped closer, like she was approaching a potentially feral dog. She reached out and brushed her fingers down Parrish’s cheek. Parrish closed her eyes and leaned into the caress.
“You’re real,” Garza said, breathing a sigh of relief.
Parrish opened her eyes again. “What? Of course I’m real. Why--”
The kiss was like an attack, and Parrish actually flinched away from it before she realized the intention. Garza pushed her back against the wall, forcing Parrish’s mouth open with her tongue, arms around her waist like she was afraid of falling or being pulled off of her. Parrish returned the kiss with equal passion once she got her footing, holding just as tightly to Garza.
They parted to breathe, but kept their faces close to each other. Parrish’s breath was bad, and she smelled of sweat and grease, but at the moment Garza didn’t care.
“When was the last time you took a bath?”
“I don’t remember.” Parrish’s voice broke.
Garza stepped away from her. She slipped her hand into Parrish’s. “Come on.”
She drew a bath while Parrish took off her dirty clothes. She paused before taking off the underwear.
“I don’t have anything else--”
“You can borrow mine,” Garza said. “Something has to fit you.”
“Thank you.”
Garza stepped away from the tub, looking down so she wouldn’t be distracted by her nudity. Parrish sighed as she settled into the water. She drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She looked so small and frightened that any anger Garza felt was quickly overwhelmed by her other emotions. She sat on the floor next to the tub.
“So. Where the fuck have you been?”
Parrish whimpered and put her hands over her face. “Quebec.”
Garza was sure she’d heard wrong. “Jesus. That’s... far.”
“Yeah.” She laughed and a tear rolled down her cheek. “Probably should’ve flown. Know any pilots who could’ve taken me?”
“So. What happened?”
Parrish wiped at her eyes and muttered something under her breath. “I’m sorry I just vanished. I was scared. I wanted to come see you but I had to leave as fast as I could.”
“Don’t worry about me. What happened to Saul?”
“I don’t care. I came here first. Let him worry.”
Garza tensed. “Wait. You don’t know?”
Parrish stared at her.
“Christine. Saul is dead.”
Parrish’s face went paler. “What? What do you mean?”
“Someone bashed his brains in. With my wrench. The police thought maybe I did it for a while.”
Parrish stared at the water, eyes darting back and forth. “No,” she whispered. “I didn’t do it. I’m sure I didn’t.”
Garza put her hand on Parrish’s arms. “Did you take my wrench?”
“Yes,” Parrish said. “I-I was... I was...” She pushed her hair out of her face. It still looked shocking with color. “I didn’t think, I just picked it up, and I thought, I thought I’d wait for him to get home and I could hit him with it, and then we could be together. But I didn’t do it. I know I didn’t. Because halfway home I looked at it and I saw your name written on the handle and I knew the police would find it and they’d think you did it and I... I...” She furrowed her brow, thinking hard. “I think I threw it out the window.”
“You’re positive you didn’t go home before you got rid of it?”
Parrish kept staring. “No.”
Garza got on her knees and moved closer, leaning over the edge of the tub. “Christine. Why did you have to leave town so quickly?”
“Because they were coming.”
Garza narrowed her eyes. “Who, baby?”
“Saul is really dead?”
“Yeah,” Garza said softly. She stroked Parrish’s hair. “I need you to focus. I need to know what the hell is going on here.”
Parrish sniffled. She still had the thousand-yard stare, and she was trembling, but the color had come back to her cheeks. She licked her lips and reached up to grip Garza’s wrist.
“We told you Saul is a banker. And that’s true. He, he, he takes care of people’s finances. He’s good at it, but he was terrible at getting clients. People don’t like his personality. So he was struggling. And then one day a couple of guys come in and make him an offer. They wanted him to be their personal banker. They paid him really well for anonymity and privacy because their income isn’t... strictly legal.”
“He was laundering money for criminals.”
“And brokering deals for them. His personality works really well for that. He doesn’t get emotional, so he never comes across as stressed or anxious. He’s like a robot from a science-fiction movie. So he does really well in negotiations.”
Garza moved her hand to Parrish’s shoulder and squeezed.
“The Calgary deal... it wasn’t... he was...” She looked at Garza, then past her into the hallway. “Are we safe here?”
“Yeah. We’ll be fine.”
A shudder passed through Parrish. Garza reached for the shelf and took down a washcloth. She wet it, then started rubbing Parrish’s arms. “Turn around. Face that way for me.”
Parrish turned in the tub, facing the wall so Garza couldn’t see her face.
“I asked people about you. The police asked people about you. Saul’s neighbors had never seen you. No one had even heard of you. How is that possible?”
“Because I’m his neighbor,” Parrish said with a soft laugh. “They probably knocked on everyone’s door and asked if they had ever seen a woman living with him. And there was one house where they didn’t get an answer. That’s because it’s my house. Saul bought it for me. He wants me in his space as little as possible. But I have to be close enough to pop in if one of the people he works for shows up. So there’s a gate in the backyard. If he turns on the porch light, I head over and play the good wife for however long he needs.”
“And sometimes you sleep over?”
Parrish shrugged. “I’m still attracted to him. I want to be with him, even if...” She put her head down on her knees. “Before I met you, being with him was the only physical affection I had. I couldn’t go out and meet anyone.”
“And the people at work?”
“They went to his legitimate work. The bank. He didn’t have to pretend there because he didn’t care what they thought of him. I was strictly for the criminals, so they’d think he was one of them.” She sniffled and rubbed her hand under her nose. “He didn’t want to give them anything they could use as blackmail.”
Garza swept the towel down Parrish’s back. “So that’s why no one in town had ever heard of you.”
“Why would they have? I didn’t exist. Never went out. Didn’t even have to go to work anymore.” She looked over her shoulder. “I was a bank teller, by the way. I guess I either didn’t make much of an impression or there’s been enough turnover since I left that there was no overlap. That’s how I met Saul. Tall, handsome man who dressed well and didn’t take part in the typical boy’s club bullshit. He was polite and considerate. Anyone would’ve fallen for him. I thought I was special when he chose me. I guess we just looked good together.”
Now that she seemed a little less shell-shocked, Garza tried again. “What happened the day you vanished?”
Parrish tensed. “I went home. I didn’t have the wrench with me when I went into the house. I remember now. My hands were free. I thought about the wonderful things you’d told me. I thought about what I would say to Saul when he got home. I really... I-I thought he might understand. He’s not my warden. If I told him I wanted to spend more time out here with you, he would’ve understood. Maybe.”
She sighed and turned around to face Garza.
“There were people in his house. I saw the car when I went home, and I thought, ‘who would be visiting him now?’ So I went to look in the car, see if I could figure out who it belonged to. That’s when one of them came outside and saw me. Saul warned me. He said if anyone ever showed up looking for him, I should run. So I did. I just ran. I’m fast, but the guy who came out was faster. He grabbed me. I fought, but he was too strong.
“The other guy came out. The guy who grabbed me said they could use me as a bargaining chip for whatever they wanted from Saul. I ended up in some building. They tied my hands and asked me when Saul would be back. I told them.” Her hand flew to her mouth. “Oh, God. I got him killed...”
Garza said, “No. Saul got himself killed. Whatever he was doing for those guys got him killed. You just kept yourself safe.” She brushed Parrish’s hair out of her face. “What happened next?”
Parrish thought. Garza briefly entertained the possibility she was making this all up as she went along, but it felt authentic. It felt more like she was remembering events that she’d blocked for being too traumatic.
“They left. They went to wait for him at the house, and they left me alone. I guess they thought I’d just sit there and wait for them to come back like a good girl.” She huffed a laugh at that.
Garza smiled. “You showed ‘em, huh?”
“They were shit at tying knots. I managed to wriggle free in just a few minutes. I thought about coming here. Honestly, I did. But I couldn’t bear the thought of bringing you into all this. So I followed the train tracks until I got to the station and I just bought a ticket. I only got off at Quebec because it felt like it was far enough away. People were speaking French. It felt like a different country. Like I might be safe there.”
“And that’s where you’ve been the last two weeks?”
Parrish nodded. “I found an underground poker game and won enough money to get a room, some clothes. Get my hair done.” She flicked her hand toward her hair. “Enough for a disguise. I tried to think of where to go next. I just wanted to be safe. Forget about everything back here and start over somewhere.” She looked at Garza. “I couldn’t do it. I had to come back.”
“Those men killed Saul,” Garza said. “If they find out you’re back, they might come after you to take care of any witnesses. You got away, you should’ve stayed away.”
“But you were here.”
Garza blinked, taken aback. “I’m... I’m not worth--”
Parrish kissed her. She rose up out of the water, sitting on her knees now, and cupped the back of Garza’s head, moaning softly when Garza finally gave in and returned the kiss.
“I love you, too,” Parrish said against Garza’s mouth. She was breathing hard, her breath still bad but now Garza was beyond caring. “I was three thousand miles away from the people who had thrown me in the backseat of my own car and left me tied up in an abandoned building and all I could think about was how I hadn’t said that to you. I would’ve regretted it for the rest of my life if I didn’t. I had to come back, Erika. I love you.”
Garza swallowed the lump in her throat. “Finish your bath. Brush your teeth. We’ll go to bed and sleep on it, a-and I think we’ll both think a lot clearer in the morning.”
“Can I have something to eat before bed? I’m starved.”
“Yeah, I’ll see what I can find.”
“Thank you.”
Garza kissed her. “Thank you for coming back. I missed you.”
Parrish sniffled and nodded.
“I’m going to go make you something to eat.”
“Okay.”
Garza managed to keep her stride normal and her legs steady until she was in the kitchen. As soon as she was positive Parrish couldn’t see her, she reached for the wall to brace herself just as her knees gave out. She’d given up hope. She’d been positive she would never see Parrish again, that she was gone for good. And then the relief of having her back had been twisted by the truth of why she’d left. The danger that was still out there.
Shaking, she carefully made her way to the dinner table and sat down. She squeezed one hand into a fist and closed the other hand around it. She focused on a spot directly across from her. She pretended she was on a plane. The engine was out. She was drifting. Coasting toward a rocky coastline, and she had only seconds to decide whether she should try a rough landing or risk going in the water.
She closed her eyes.
She made her choice.
Chapter Twelve
Monday
She didn’t know which one of them instigated the sex. It could have been Parrish, unable to sleep and climbing on top of her. But Garza had been thinking about it when she fell sleep. Maybe she was the one who reached out, who rolled her body until she was pressed against warm bare skin. She only knew that her first conscious thought was a weight on her and Parrish’s hands slipping around her waist. Her lips responded automatically, body rising up off the bed as Parrish settled onto her, pinning her down.
“Tell me I’m real again,” Parrish whispered.
“You’re real,” Garza said, happy to remind herself again. She flicked her tongue out to taste whatever part of Parrish it happened to touch.
“What’s my name?
“Christine Parrish.”
She sobbed quietly. “I felt like nobody. I was free and safe but I... and even... with Saul... he didn’t see me as a person. I forgot. I forgot I was a real person until you said you wanted me, Erika. Until you saw me. You saw me and you knew I was real, oh my god.”
“You’re Christine Parrish, you’re real, and I love you.” Garza kissed her hungrily, pulling her down onto her.
Parrish settled between Garza’s legs and thrust with her whole body, grinding down onto her with enough force that they both grunted.
“I’m real,” Parrish said. “And I want you.”
“I want you too,” Garza whispered, then sat up and slid her lips across Parrish’s cheek to her ear. “I want you.” She understood what that meant now, how much Parrish needed to hear it. “I want you so much. You’re all I want, Christine.”
Parrish put her head down on Garza’s shoulder and thrust harder against her. When Garza clung tighter, Parrish turned the grunting into words.
“I love you, I love you... I love you...”
Garza closed her eyes and held on as tightly as she could.
***
She woke alone the next morning, but she refused to let herself panic. She put on a robe and went into the kitchen to find Parrish sitting at the table with a cup of coffee in front of her. It didn’t look like she had actually had any of the coffee, but her hands formed a protective bracket on either side of the mug. She was wearing one of Garza’s T-shirts and a baggy pair of shorts.
