Bag a Boyfriend, page 4
His hand was resting on the table between them, she covered it with hers remembering doing the same with Jane the night before. It brought a smile to her face.
“I’m-I’m…” What was it the women always said on these shows? “…grateful for the experience, to have this… journey with you.” ‘Journey’ was one of the buzz words. “To have met you and-and Jane,” she had to remember Jane, keep her at the forefront for Charles too. But she’d forgotten the others, that would look bad. “And everyone else too.” And the sponsors. “There are so many things to do here, so many business that I didn’t know about.” She barely managed not to slump against her chair in relief. Hopefully that was enough to satisfy his evil overlords.
“I’ve enjoyed my time with you too. You’re quite lovely, you know.”
She blushed. She actually blushed at the compliment. Now she was going to look like an idiot to the whole town. Thankfully, the food arrived, a steaming hot stone covered with seafood.
“Don’t touch it,” Charles warned, “use the tongs. I had an unfortunate incident with one of these once.”
They made small talk while they shuffled their food around the stone to cook. When the shrimp had changed colour Charles advised they could start eating.
Lizzy hesitated. “I’d hate to make myself sick because I didn’t cook something properly.” She imagined being caught vomiting, if not by cameras at least by her microphone. She shifted and the power pack bumped against the back of the chair – a constant reminder.
“Ah…let’s risk it?” Charles suggested. “If the shrimp is cooked, the rest should be fine. But if you do get sick I’ll hold your hair back.”
“That’s sweet of you. I’d hate to lose your good opinion. How would you know I hadn’t secretly been sneaking out for shots in between takes and was really vomiting my guts up because I was drunk?” She heard the words come out of her mouth, unable to stop them. Great. She was going to look just great on camera. Would this please the boyfriend-handler?
Charles laughed. Then his expression changed. “Ah…kiss before we get fishy?”
She smiled and leaned forward. It was a brief kiss but it felt important, almost natural. Had it been prompted by the little devil in his ear? Was Charles starting to have feelings for her? She pondered this as she turned her shrimp on the hot stone. He certainly didn’t look at her the way he looked at Jane in the bag ceremonies, but there could be something there. It was impossible to have a real talk with him, what with the microphones, the cameras, and the crew around. It was a little suffocating and claustrophobic.
There had to be a way to let him know that she wasn’t interested. Because she wasn’t. Right?
Charles picked at his meal, she assumed he’d already been fed on his dates with Caroline and Jane. But she was hungry. So, however uncomfortable she felt eating on camera, she did it – making sure to empty her mouth before directing a remark at Charles. Her mother had drilled into her that speaking with your mouth full wasn’t ladylike; advice she normally ignored, because she was too excited to carry on the conversation. But conversation was stilted and things were different when there was a camera poised to take a shot of your gaping maw.
“So, I met your mother yesterday—” Charles began, and Lizzy stopped mid-chew; this could be disastrous, “—she runs the craft store in town. I went there with…” He trailed off uncomfortably, obviously he couldn’t talk about one of the other girls on a date with her. “I went there yesterday to sample the fudge.”
Lizzy finished chewing and carefully swallowed. “Did you like it?” she asked cautiously. She worried that her mother might have flirted with him, or spent the whole time talking Lizzy up in front of his date.
“The fudge was good, a wide range of varieties, and your mother was…very welcoming.” Great, she had flirted with him.
“I’m glad you enjoyed it. My mother puts a lot of work into her shop and the crafting community.”
They both looked at their plates while Lizzy considered what to say next. She loved her mother but was aware she could come off as ridiculous. She worried how she would appear on camera.
“I–She actually suggested that I come on the show. She even filled out my application form for me…and sent it in before asking me. I’m–I’m glad she did though. It’s been a good experience.” To her surprise she realised that she wasn’t just saying it for the cameras, she genuinely had enjoyed it, despite the early mornings, crushing boredom and intrusive cameras.
This time Charles put his hand over hers, “I’m glad too.”
Lizzy felt a smile growing on her face.
They were back in the same room with the same fake smiles on their faces as they blinked in the lights. At least, Lizzy and Caroline’s were fake; Jane’s was probably real. Tonight, Charles would decide his final two.
The bag for tonight was a carry-on suitcase – with wheels that swivelled and a retractable handle – and Lizzy had to bite her lip to stop herself laughing again, as she always did when the bags were presented.
“Light-weight, compact and locally made,” Bill completed his spiel. “Tonight there are two of these wonderful bags up for grabs – along with Charles.” His voice held innuendo, accompanied by a wink to the camera. “I wouldn’t mind one of these babies myself. Now Charles, tonight you will be picking your final two. Who will be going home? Will it be Jane, Lizzy or Caroline?”
Charles looked confused. “Am I–am I meant to tell you now?”
Lizzy snorted. Charles’ handler came over to school him about rhetorical questions. Oh no, hopefully they didn’t get that on camera – they were likely to pull that piece of footage and pair it against something else. Eventually they were back on track and the two pieces of luggage were wheeled forward.
Jane was the first pick, as Lizzy knew she would be, but then it was down to herself and Caroline.
The host popped up again. “Charles, you have one bag left and two beautiful women. Take your time and make your choice,” then he faded into the background.
Lizzy tried not to fidget and kept a smile plastered on her face. If she went home tonight it wouldn’t be so bad. Jane was still there, he’d pick her and they’d live happily ever after – or at least happily away from the cameras.
“Lizzy,” Charles said finally, and she exhaled.
She walked towards Charles and offered her cheek for a kiss, over his shoulder she locked eyes with his handler. It was impossible to tell if he approved or not. She accepted the bag which she rolled away. Part way back to her position she picked up the bag, snapped the handle into place and carried it. Stifled laughter came from behind the cameras. She’d done it again.
Bill stepped forward. “This is classic Lizzy, she has picked up her suitcase rather than rolling it. And now we have our final two. I’m sorry Caroline, you did not receive a bag. Your journey to love ends here. Please say your goodbyes.” He stepped back.
Caroline lightly kissed Lizzy, then Jane, on the cheek and swept forth to receive her goodbye from Charles. Lizzy didn’t listen to their exchange, she was too busy clutching Jane’s hand and grinning at her. It had only been a couple of days but the magic of the TV bubble was working, she felt close to Jane and she felt happiness on her behalf. Jane was going to get her man.
Day Five
The final date with Charles was different. They were at the local day spa for a barrage of couples’ treatments, starting with a massage. It felt weird to only have a robe saving her from indecent exposure, even if it was covering more than her clothes normally did. She pulled the robe firmly around herself, all the way up to her chin.
“It’s ok,” Charles reassured her, “they’ll go out when we get on the…bed. I mean table. I mean when we need to get ready.”
Lizzy smiled. Charles turned to greet their beauty therapists who edged around the camera crew.
“You must be the boyfriend,” one said, sticking her hand out.
“I’m Charles,” he replied as he tried to extract his hand from hers. “This is Lizzy.”
The other therapist shook her hand. “He’s cute.”
Lizzy mumbled something incoherent trying to hear the first therapist who was asking Charles how a guy like him could be single. Her therapist abandoned her to also fawn over Charles.
“It’s such an honour to be on the show,” she gushed, now she had hold of his hand and was equally unwilling to relinquish it.
Lizzy peered through the lights trying to find the handler to see if he could save them from this situation. Charles complimented the beautiful facilities making sure to name drop the spa, he was getting pretty good at this. This seemed to remind the therapists they were at work, one gave brief instructions aimed at Charles with a brief glance at Lizzy then they exited, ushering the crew out with them. It was brief respite, they’d be back to film the treatment.
Lizzy and Charles were alone for the first time.
She shifted her weight from foot to foot. It wasn’t like she’d never been naked with a man before, and it wasn’t like she was entirely naked beneath the robe either but something about this just felt…wrong. They stood staring at each other for a moment which stretched. Then they both spoke at once.
“I don’t mind—”
“I can just—”
They laughed and the tension broke.
“We should be quick about this,” Charles said. “We don’t want them coming back before we’re ready. How about I face the wall while you get on the…bed then when you’re ready I’ll–I’ll have my turn.”
Lizzy nodded and he turned. She was grateful to him for taking charge of the situation for once. She whipped off the robe and climbed onto the table, lay down and pulled a towel over her.
“Your turn,” she called.
There was a knock at the door.
“We aren’t quite ready yet,” Charles called.
She heard fabric moving and the table creaking.
“Are you good?” he asked.
“Mmm-hmm.”
“We’re ready,” Charles called.
She didn’t know how relaxing the massage was going to be, with cameras aimed at her back and forced awkward conversation, but a free massage was a free massage. She was going to enjoy it as much as she could.
It was all about to be over. Finally. The week had started slowly but then sped up and now here she was, ready for the final bag ceremony. Lizzy tried to keep herself from jiggling on the spot. Soon, Charles would pick Jane, they would kiss and it would be the obligatory happy ending. She smirked; perhaps Jane and Charles would go into the ladies’ suite upstairs and…no, she stopped that thought and chose not to follow it.
Jane shot her a smile and grasped her hand. Something in Lizzy’s stomach clenched. This was it.
As though from a distance Lizzy heard Bill welcome the audience through the camera. He went on his little spiel about the single bag that was to be awarded to the lucky lady tonight. It wasn’t the rumoured collection, but a full sized piece of luggage that matched the carry-on from the previous day. The bag was rolled to its place then Charles was welcomed to the stage.
He had adjusted, somewhat, to the lights and the cameras. He still looked like a little boy but now he didn’t focus on the floor quite so much, his handler still hovered at his side just out of range of the cameras. How would Charles came across on screen? Hopefully the show wouldn’t make fun of him, even though they easily could. Everything he did or said was fodder for a blooper real but if they did that, the whole concept would fall apart.
Lizzy squeezed Jane’s hand.
The host was talking to Charles about his “whirlwind” romances but didn’t mention the extremely short timeframe, they referred to weeks instead of days. Yet another “reality” of reality TV.
“And now, you are down to the final two. Lizzy,” he paused and Lizzy felt everyone’s eyes on her, “and Jane. Two more different women you couldn’t meet.”
They weren’t that different, were they? Sure, she could never compare to Jane physically and maybe she wasn’t as sweet as Jane but she wasn’t that bad. She cringed, feeling like the unkind ugly duckling. A part of her rallied, telling herself not to criticise, to be positive. Besides, today wasn’t about her, it was about Jane.
The host stepped back.
This was it, the moment of truth. She glanced at Jane, wanting to see the look on her face when her name was announced.
“Lizzy.”
What?
The moment took on an air of unreality. She looked around, amazed to find everyone looking at her, every camera pointed at her. Surely Charles hadn’t just said her name?
Jane squeezed her hand this time and urged her forward, but when Lizzy looked back there were unshed tears in her eyes.
The walk across the ballroom was the longest of her life. It was like she was headed towards her execution, not to lovely, lovely, seriously misguided, Charles. It felt like she was a child playing in her mother’s high heels again, wobbling at each step, looking at the floor from a great height. It would be a perfect end to this debacle if she were to fall flat on her face, or her arse.
Finally, she arrived in front of Charles.
He cleared his throat.
“Lizzy, will you accept this bag?”
She knew what she should do. She knew what would be the easiest, the least messy, thing to do.
It was as though a collective breath had been drawn, all were on tenterhooks waiting for her response. Hoping, probably, for something cutting and sarcastic.
But she couldn’t do that to Charles.
She glanced back over her shoulder at Jane who was somehow holding it together, though from across the room Lizzy could see the tears quietly making tracks in her cheeks.
She couldn’t do this to Jane either.
She opened her mouth, uncertain what she wanted to say. He chose the wrong girl. He shouldn’t let other people tell him what to do. His face was so open, expectant, and every eye in the room was on them.
“I–I can’t.” Her voice came out very small. She tried again. “I’m sorry Charles, I can’t.”
Why would he do this? To her? To Jane?
Suddenly she couldn’t face it anymore. All the cameras, all the faces behind them, all the manipulation. She turned and ran from the room, as best she could in high heels.
The ladies’ suite was empty – the whole crew had gathered to watch the final ceremony – but she was sure it wouldn’t be for long. She struggled with the zip on her dress, twisting and turning. It was so much easier when Jane was there to help, but she managed to step out of the grand affair and be back into her own clothes before anyone arrived. Pressing all the buttons in the elevator may have been childish but had given her the much-needed time.
“You have to go back.” It was the guy that Caroline had screamed at earlier in the week. Surely they’d put this guy through enough?
“I don’t have to do anything,” Lizzy replied as she shoved her feet into her shoes. She knelt down and slid her fingers around the edge of her foot to properly guide her foot in. She was really doing it, she was running away. But she’d forgotten about her microphone – now she reached under her top and tore the tape holding it in place. It must have looked like some strange sort of dance, or like she was scratching herself as she traced the line and removed each piece of tape, then finally the power box. “Here,” she said finally, placing it in the runner’s hands, the cords trailing on the floor. “I’m done.”
She left him in the suite and headed for the elevators.
Absurdly she felt like crying. This wasn’t how things were meant to end. Charles was supposed to choose Jane and they would live happily ever after. She would smile in the background and hopefully stay friends with Jane once the cameras were off. She sniffed. She would not give them the satisfaction of making her cry.
The boyfriend-handler found her in the lobby as she was making her way across.
“You are under contract—” he started.
“I don’t give a shit about your contract,” she said. “What happened in there was wrong. I won’t be a part of it. Are you trying to humiliate Charles?”
He drew himself up to his full height, which wasn’t much taller than her. “Of course not, Charles is my friend.”
“Oh, so you’re the friend who talked him into this. That explains a lot. You care more about your career than your friend. You are a heartless, selfish…” She faltered. Producer.
“You want him to choose Jane? She’s as fake as they come and only in it for the fame. At least I know why you’re here and you make no qualms about how phoney you think the whole set up is. I don’t have to worry about you pretending to be in love with my friend and breaking his heart with your sweet smiles and sly glances. No, Charles chooses you and he’s safe.”
“You think I’m a safe option? How flattering! And what do you mean you know why I’m here?”
“It was made clear early on that you were only here to save your mother’s little store from closure. If you’re happy to be pimped out to save your mothers business that’s fine but—”
“Pimped out? Pimped out?!” Lizzy screeched, oblivious to the attention their spat was attracting. “You think my mother is pimping me out? I’m a grown woman and I am not a whore! Sure, I may have agreed to come on this ridiculous excuse for entertainment to give my mother some promotion but that was my choice, my choice. And it in no way makes me a whore!” Her chest was heaving with exertion, but she had the bastard on the ropes so she took a deep breath and started again. “You want to talk about whoring someone out? What about what you’re doing to your dear friend Charles? You know he’s an innocent pawn, you knew he was likely to get his heart broken or trodden all over and you didn’t care! This is all about you and your stupid career which you screwed up by fooling around with someone you shouldn’t have.” She pointed her finger accusingly at him. “This one is on you buddy.”
The producer went white. He didn’t speak. He glanced around at the crowd they’d attracted – as much of a crowd as a small place like this could boast. Lizzy straightened; she had won this battle. She turned to leave.
